Step 1: Don't listen to me. I'm not a professional.
Step 3: Listen to yourself. If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it.
Step 4: Pick companies you can understand, not companies you think are the best deals. Within reason. The important thing is that when you hear news, you have an idea whether that should drive the price up or down because you have some idea what a company actually does and how they do it. You'll never be as fast as a computer, but you will be faster than people who hear news and then try to figure out what stock is going to be the best deal. You'll have your shopping list ready to go.
Step 5: Don't pick too many. Everyone to tells you to diversify your portfolio. Eh. It's a good idea, but unless you're handing your portfolio over to a professional to manage for you, don't pick more than you can comprehend. If you have a few companies in mind, and you're diversified for a few scenarios in mind, great. If you pick companies you can understand but you pick more than you can practically keep up with, you're giving up your advantage. If you don't understand it anymore, at that point you're just diversified for the sake of playing the odds that it can't all go down at once. Don't play the odds. If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it.
Step 5: If you do hand your portfolio over to a professional to manage for you (don't do it), it is still not a good idea to have them doing something you don't comprehend.
Step 6: For God's sake don't gamble with money you don't have. This might actually be the biggest thing. Don't let a professional tell you it's "margin". Like "leverage", margin is just a stupid euphemism for "You're in debt, dude." Professionals will try to talk you into doing this, because that is their actual business. They're not advisors, and they are not your friends. They are loan sharks. They'll tell you the amount of stock you can buy isn't really enough to matter, but if you borrow money you can buy enough to have a real big boy portfolio. Don't do it. It'll look like you have a big portfolio, but you don't, because you're in debt, dude. You're hoping it'll go up enough to pay back what you owe and make a profit. And if it goes down you're hugged. When you see stocks down and you hear people whining that they lost money, it's not just boomers who for some reason sell when they see red and then say "I lost money. How did that happen?" That is absolutely a thing, and finance people love them because they are so easy. But anyway, it's also people whobought on margin went into debt. Maybe they haven't actually sold, so they haven't actually lost that yet, but they still owe what they borrowed. So they will lose the money. With interest. Again, that's the actual business. Don't swim with loan sharks.
Step 7: Relax. If you don't borrow money and you do just buy a handful of shares of something you understand with what little you can afford to play with, relax. When Trump announces tariffs and stocks crash, relax. Unlike people who let a professional talk them into going into debt to buy portfolios that looked misleadingly bigger than yours, you haven't lost anything yet. If you understand what you're invested in, and you understand that it should go back up, buy another handful of shares with however little you can afford to play with. Enjoy the ride when it goes back up. Sell when it feels high enough and you need cash. Or sell when someone says something mean about Trump, sell because he will say something in response that makes it take a nosedive. Then buy the dip before he walks it back. If you're not borrowing money to do this and your gains aren't being eaten by interest and fees, it really doesn't matter if you're not perfectly timing the exact highs and lows down to the penny.
I mean, I do have the degrees but this job market sucks.
Step 2: Don't listen to professionals.Step 3: Listen to yourself. If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it.
Step 4: Pick companies you can understand, not companies you think are the best deals. Within reason. The important thing is that when you hear news, you have an idea whether that should drive the price up or down because you have some idea what a company actually does and how they do it. You'll never be as fast as a computer, but you will be faster than people who hear news and then try to figure out what stock is going to be the best deal. You'll have your shopping list ready to go.
Step 5: Don't pick too many. Everyone to tells you to diversify your portfolio. Eh. It's a good idea, but unless you're handing your portfolio over to a professional to manage for you, don't pick more than you can comprehend. If you have a few companies in mind, and you're diversified for a few scenarios in mind, great. If you pick companies you can understand but you pick more than you can practically keep up with, you're giving up your advantage. If you don't understand it anymore, at that point you're just diversified for the sake of playing the odds that it can't all go down at once. Don't play the odds. If you don't know what you're doing, don't do it.
Step 5: If you do hand your portfolio over to a professional to manage for you (don't do it), it is still not a good idea to have them doing something you don't comprehend.
Step 6: For God's sake don't gamble with money you don't have. This might actually be the biggest thing. Don't let a professional tell you it's "margin". Like "leverage", margin is just a stupid euphemism for "You're in debt, dude." Professionals will try to talk you into doing this, because that is their actual business. They're not advisors, and they are not your friends. They are loan sharks. They'll tell you the amount of stock you can buy isn't really enough to matter, but if you borrow money you can buy enough to have a real big boy portfolio. Don't do it. It'll look like you have a big portfolio, but you don't, because you're in debt, dude. You're hoping it'll go up enough to pay back what you owe and make a profit. And if it goes down you're hugged. When you see stocks down and you hear people whining that they lost money, it's not just boomers who for some reason sell when they see red and then say "I lost money. How did that happen?" That is absolutely a thing, and finance people love them because they are so easy. But anyway, it's also people who
Step 7: Relax. If you don't borrow money and you do just buy a handful of shares of something you understand with what little you can afford to play with, relax. When Trump announces tariffs and stocks crash, relax. Unlike people who let a professional talk them into going into debt to buy portfolios that looked misleadingly bigger than yours, you haven't lost anything yet. If you understand what you're invested in, and you understand that it should go back up, buy another handful of shares with however little you can afford to play with. Enjoy the ride when it goes back up. Sell when it feels high enough and you need cash. Or sell when someone says something mean about Trump, sell because he will say something in response that makes it take a nosedive. Then buy the dip before he walks it back. If you're not borrowing money to do this and your gains aren't being eaten by interest and fees, it really doesn't matter if you're not perfectly timing the exact highs and lows down to the penny.
