Campaign Texts Archive

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: I want to try and get into Heaven. I believe He saved me for a reason, and this is why I think He did it:
1:33 PM

Trump: I'm doing a name change!

The Department of Defense will be known as the Department of War.

Do you like it?
6:30 PM

 

[wonko the sane?]

And he honestly doesn't understand why he won't get into heaven.

I'd say something like "It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad" but it's just funny. He's going to hell, and he doesn't even believe in it.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: I'm upgrading to Diamond Status!

FINAL HOUR to accept before it disappears...

ACCEPT SPOT:
4:22 PM

From Trump: I'm alive! Democrats were praying for my death, so here's my response to the fake news:
6:27 PM