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The Onion's satire is hit or miss sometimes, but this is Charlie Hebdo levels of cojones and I love it.

Speaking as someone who literally did a comic in the school paper along those lines, you'll have to explain to me how it was anywhere close to this. Most of us were fresh out of high school and had never witnessed widespread backlash against a President's actions before, and were now living in...

Maybe Mars can be convinced to remake the famous M&M's Santa commercial someday, which was still airing every December last I checked and still looks pretty cheap on an HDTV.

Whoever it is, I hope they're on our side and not just an agent of chaos.

Like what Atari has been doing lately?

Watch most mainstream Democrats manage to fumble this easy question anyway.

Oh, it is. He's skipping straight to the "then they came for me" part of the poem because he's too impatient to put it off any longer. We've discovered who are the Jews to his Hitler, and it was never the Mexicans, or trans people, or any other minority. It's everyone who doesn't worship the...

I mean, you say that, but until I see the rest of the world openly imposing outright sanctions on us—like they SHOULD, as punishment for electing an out-and-proud FASCIST as head of state—no you haven't.

The stock market has always been broken. I suppose once upon a time it was passed off as "democratizing" the business world, but in practice it just meant people treat companies that we rely on for essential goods and services like poker chips in a giant casino, and that's on a good day...

"Any more bushes wanna come out and fight me?" -

So who's he actually planning to go to war with? I haven't heard any bluster about Greenland in a while, and his relationship with Ukraine is more nuanced than I was expecting so I don't see him joining that war on Russia's side either, at least not any time soon.

Isn't that the movie whose tagline was "Whoever wins, we lose"?

I've never had a computer struggle getting back to life after a power outage, and I suffered through a decade with a power supply from freaking Rocketfish. Is that a thing that can happen?

So I take it there's not actually a significant number of shareholders who are unhappy with his leadership, despite how obviously disastrous it's been. Sounds about right, honestly. What's probably happened is that everyone who was fed up with him just sold off their stock and moved on.

I don't even want people that stupid to exist. Regardless they continue to do so, and regardless of your desires they will continue to be allowed to own pets also.

Yeah, I'm thinking less Bugs Bunny and more Russ Cargill.

"If you are curious about the giant-speaking bugs, why don't you read their head?" -

I don't understand why that's a feature the site offers, nor why anyone takes them up on it. You're not making it any more private, since just anybody can sign up. All you're doing is gatekeeping your audience based on their affinity for the platform you use.

Also why is it locking certain posts behind signups now? Did it really only take them this long to turn evil and require signups to access the site at all, or is this selective for reasons I can't even fathom and probably neither can the people who made that decision?

Like I said, "climate change" makes it sound like something only an old fogey would be scared of; we need to start saying "climate destabilization."