Campaign Texts Archive

[CoffeeHorse]

I don't have a clue what he's talking about. The link just goes to a page asking for contact information. You know, to make sure I don't miss this announcement when it happens.

There is a slight flaw with this plan.

 

[wonko the sane?]

Assuming anyone cares about what he has to say and wants to listen?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

I mean they're asking for contact information under the premise that it's so people don't miss the announcement, but they're sending the link to people whose phone number they already have.

JD Vance: [Coffee], can you see me?

I'm about to address the nation!

A MAGA truth bomb will drop:
11:11 AM

0% participation

From Trump: OUCH!

This isn't like you. So, I extended my MAGA Blitz deadline for 4 hours.

HURRY:
4:01 PM

You and I by the fireplace?

It might sound weird but we need to talk before my end-of-year deadline!

It's Trump!!
6:06 PM

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY...

President Trump just wrote your name on his card.

This is top secret - take a look:
6:58 PM

Trump: [Coffee], can we be honest with each other?

I'll go first.

CONFIDENTIAL UPDATE:
8:00 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: Please confirm receipt using this personal link.

Are my messages getting through?

Trump Portal:
10:49 AM

From Trump: if I say PLEASE, will you at least answer question #1?

It's the easiest question!

MAGA POLL IS OPEN:
3:53 PM

ALERT ALERT ALERT

Donald Trump just sent you an invitation!

The catch of the day...You must accept immediately:
6:09 PM

Defenders here! Tomorrow, your rep will vote on a terrible bill to delist wolves. Send a message right now to urge them to
6:12 PM

From Trump: I will always love you!

Because come hell or high water, you never betrayed Trump!

READ BEFORE 2026:
7:30 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Corrected link! There is still time to contact your rep TODAY and urge them to vote no on a terrible bill to delist wolves!
10:05 AM

Dear [Coffee],

President Trump requests your presence in the 47th President Founders Club.

CONGRATS - accept:
11:00 AM

Before I sign your name on your Tariff Check, is [Coffee] spelled right?

From Trump: CONFIRM CHECK:
1:33 PM

I'm heartbroken. It's Trump & this isn't like you.

Your name is missing from the MAGA Petition to mandate Voter ID:
3:48 PM

From Trump: Check your mail!

I'VE SENT 5 LETTERS TO YOUR MAILBOX THIS MONTH!

Letter enclosed here:

5:51 PM

If I say PLEASE, will you at read my invitation inquiry?

It's Donald Trump!

Trump Tower or Mar-a-Lago?
7:44 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Pres. Trump: Your Platinum Membership is about to close - I'll give you 6 more hours!

Don't blow it:
3:36 PM

From Trump: Did my letter get buried in the snow?

I'm being serious!

Here's how many times we've reached out to you.
5:50 PM

Trump: Don't play hide and seek with me.

I'm too busy to search far and wide for you AGAIN!

Join MAGA Honor Roll ASAP:
8:12 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Hey, was this a mistake?

(1) Trump Life Card left in your cart

ORDER for a chance to win a MAGA Hat signed by Trump:
2:11 PM

 

[KidTDragon]

(1) Trump Life Card left in your cart

Now you got me wondering how many MAGAts have "Trump Life" tattooed on their abdomens à la Tupac.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

After the whole "Real Men Wear Diapers" thing, I've stopped wondering just how stupid they can get.

 

[KidTDragon]

So have I, but it's fun to see how the stupid manifests.

 

[wonko the sane?]

Yeah well, those same "real men" don't change diapers. They leave their jive for someone else to deal with.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: If I say PLEASE, will you open ONE of the letters I sent you this month?

Please!

OPEN HERE:
1:39 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

RNC CHAIRMAN JOE GRUTERS: Merry Christmas!

Wishing you a day filled with joy and fmaily.

Thank you for all you do for your party.
1:24 PM

It was the least I could do.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

We've decided to give [Coffee] a huge promotion.

See more details here:
11:43 AM

This isn't even my final form.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

I got one!

(No subject)

[Coffee], I'm George Conway. Former Republican turned anti-Trump activist.

I put everything about my life on the line to defeat Donald trump.

First, I quit the Republican Party.
Then, I founded the Lincoln Project.
Now, I'm running for congress.

I'm not your typical Democrat - but times like these require proven fighters.

[Coffee], I know how to beat MAGA better than anyone. That's why Trump called me a "stone cold loser," and why I'm running for Congress.

I'm George Conway, and I'm running to save our democracy from Donald trump. Will you help kickstart my campaign by giving $5 toward our $800,000 launch week fundraising goal before midnight?

Thanks for standing with me,

George Conway
Democrat for Congress in NY-12

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: Ignore the FAKE $2,000 tariff check text messages!

This is the only one authorized by me:
5:10 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

We might have to REVOKE your 2026 Republican Merit Badge.

Please, accept before it's too late:
2:17 PM

HOW do I have a 2026 Republican Merit Badge? This is only the second text I've gotten from you guys all year.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Hi, it's Defenders! The awful wolf bill passed the House but your rep voted NO. Thank them for their vote to protect wolves!
1:50 PM

Will you congratulate my dad on an incredible year in office?

It's Don Jr., and I'm doing a surprise card!

ADD YOUR NAME:
6:22 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

[Coffee], are you STILL with me?

It's president Trump!

Before I address the nation today, just say YES:
2:51 PM

(No subject)

My decision - Alex Vindman

Hi - my name is Alex Vindman, and I have made the decision to run for the United States Senate in Florida.

Over two decades ago, I swore an oath to protect this country when I joined the U.S. Army.

I honored that oath in 2019 by blowing the whistle on Donald Trump's corrupt phone call with Ukraine, an act that led to Trump's first impeachment and cost me my military career.

People told me to keep my head down. But my family came here as refugees to escape tyranny. I sure as hell wasn't going to bow down to a wannabe tyrant.

This president unleashed a reign of terror and retribution, not just against me and my family, but against all of us.

Today, our country is in chaos. America needs someone who isn't afraid to put a check on an outlaw president and make sure that every American has a fair chance at prosperity.

That's why I am running for Senate, and why I am humbly asking you today:

Will you become a Foundation Donor to my campaign? Your donations add up quickly when everyone is chipping in:

Thank you.

Alex Vindman
4:28 PM

Is this news? Has he ever admitted being the whistleblower before?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Trump: Did my letter get buried in the snow?

I'm being serious!

Here's how many times we've reached out to you...
11:44 AM