Nonstop Baaka
I liked them. I think those and Hyrule Warriors are the only Zelda games I've actually finished. Granted, I tend to suck at the fighting aspect of the other entries.


Staff member
Council of Elders
I used to be way deep into The Legend of Zelda. I don't know what came out during the DS era but something just sucked all the joy out of it for me.


terminal shitposter
objective list of the best starter pokemon of each region:
Kanto: Bulbasaur

this little guy was the first pokemon i ever trained back when i played blue as a kid. the entire bulbasaur line still has a special place in my heart to this day; venusaur is cooler than charizard or blastoise.

like most of kanto, i still love this big lug, warts and all.

Johto: Totodile

it was hard for me to pick this gen; all three starter lines are pretty cool, but they feel kinda lacking (like most things about johto tbh), so i'll go with the gator.

crocs rule!

Hoenn: Torchic

it's a cute chicken that evolves into a badass karate chicken. the other two are also very good tho

badass motherclucker

Sinnoh: Turtwig

you know what's funny? in the generation i still consider the overall low point in the series, the only generation so far where i have more mean things to say about than good things, the starters were... actually pretty great for the most part. i'm kinda iffy on the chimchar line, but the piplup line is pretty great. the turtwig line, though, is the standout of the three, and actually was my favorite starter line period for a damn decade. seeing torterra get a scene in detective pikachu while i watched the movie with fellow torterra stans is a fond memory.

i like turtles

Unova: Snivy

in a cruel twist of irony, despite gen 5 being the point where pokemon really hit its stride after stumbling hard with gen 4, the starter i liked the most when BW was announced, oshawott, evolved into an utter disappointment (until 2022, but more on that later), and tepig was pretty mid to begin with. snivy is cool, though. i love snakes.

just wish it had been retconned to be grass/fairy after gen 6

Kalos: Chespin

after how underwhelming 2/3 of gen 5's starters were, XY thankfully delivered the first starter trio where all three options were pretty great since Hoenn! while at first my favorite was Froakie, over the years the Chespin line's overtaken it as my favorite. Chesnaught is so damn cool, you guys

the guy is built like a tank.

Alola: Rowlet

first off, **** the fans who believe that the DS Pokemon games are the best pokemon games and that the series started sucking with the 3DS titles. unova is admittedly GOATed, but sinnoh is a trash fire and HGSS is just pretty alright; meanwhile the 3DS entries were consistently great, continuing off of Gen 5's success; kalos is pretty damn good, ORAS are the best remakes of the first really good games in the series, and alola... alola is where pokemon peaked. the best starter in the entire series is this little guy; i knew he was gonna evolve into something badass, and unlike poor oshawott, rowlet's final evo did NOT disappoint me. the grass owls are the best starters this franchise has ever had, and that's despite both of the other starters this gen giving them some serious competition. alola is still the gold standard for pokemon in damn near every aspect, and the starters are no exception; all three of them have fantastic designs throughout their entire evolutionary lines.

starter pokemon really don't come any cooler than this guy, and as of 2023, pokemon games still don't come any better than alola.

Galar: Grookey

hot take: if it weren't for the dex cut, SwSh would be more recognized as actually being pretty decent pokemon games. while several of the other pokemon this gen were cool, though, the starters were honestly kinda underwhelming. they're not awful, but like most aspects of SwSh, they really are a letdown compared to their direct predecessors in gen 7. i've wanted an actual gorilla mon instead of a fugly mutant sloth for years, and rillaboom's pretty cool, so ig it wins by default

even then, there are ways to make him better; integrate the stump drum into his body as natural "armor" so he drums on his chest like an actual damn gorilla, and give him thumbs on his feet like a proper simian

Hisui: Oshawott

honestly, i'm as surprised as you guys are. when PLA came out, i found Hisuian Typhlosion and Devidueye infinitely cooler than Samurott, but while i still love Hisuian Typh and like Hisuian Decidueye, Hisuian Samurott's somehow overtaken both of them as my favorite. Overall, Hisui has one of the best starter trios in the series, and gave my homeboy Oshawott the redemption he's deserved for so long.

while he's not totally a giant river otter, the longer/skinnier body, the less paddle-like limbs and overall better anatomy make him feel a lot more like the giant amazonian death otter i wanted oshawott to evolve into rather than the badly-drawn sea lion unovan samurott ended up being. the edgier design just gives him even better murder otter vibes, too. this is a giant water weasel that kills crocs. the kicker is that they somehow redeemed both my least favorite region and my least favorite starter pokemon in the same friggin' game; PLA is my second-favorite entry in the series at this point.

Paldea: Fuecoco

SV is an ambitious game with a lot of really good aspects that was unfortunately kneecapped by TPC refusing to give Game Freak and Creatures the additional time and money needed to make these games really shine. however, i have almost nothing bad to say about the actual pokemon this generation (aside from that stupid ******* parrot squawkabilly). the starter trio is overall fantastic, and fuecoco is not just the best paldean starter, but hands down the best fire-type starter ever. like rowlet, this little guy not only had the best design of the three to begin with, but i just knew that he would evolve into something kickass, and like rowlet, fuecoco's final evo exceeded my expectations. skeledirge is objectively the best fire-type starter ever.

seriously, this guy freaking rules. not only is he the first quadrupedal fully-evolved fire starter, he's more importantly the first quadrupedal fully-evolved crocodilian in the series, meaning i get to make flat **** friday jokes about him. also his design is just so goddamn cool.
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Woobie Destroyer of Worlds
Couple notes: I'm sure there are more races you can play thanks to expansions. Heck! You could have a Balor as a PC if the DM allowed. But I'm going with player races given in the base Players Handbooks from 3E-5E.

Player races ranked

9. Gnome
I think gnome, I think those things with pointy hats that people put in their gardens. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone play one of these, online, real life, books, I just don’t see them too often if at all. Drizzt met some dark-gnomes in the Underdark in Exile. But that’s about it.

8. Halfling
Like gnomes, I rarely see halflings in actual gameplay. But Regis from the Drizzt novels makes Halfling edge out Gnomes a bit.

7. Human
Basic! You’re playing a fantasy game where you can be an elf, dragon born, trifling…why would you play a human? So…so…BASIC!

6. Half Elf
This feels non-comittal. If you’re going to play an elf, play an elf. Going halfway...just…why?

5. Half Orc
I would say the same about these that I did Half Elves. But full orcs aren’t a player species. So I guess this is as close as you get. I guess if you want to be a barbarian, half-orc’s the way to go.

4. Dwarf
Surly, always drinking, frightening up close and personal…what’s not to like? Gimly and Bruenor are awesome!

3. Dragonborn
They can breath fire. Do I really need to say more?

2. Elf
Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance II, Oblivion, Skyrim, Kingdoms of Amateur, Baldur’s Gate III…all these things have one thing in common. My first characters were all dark elves (drow). Okay, so for Skyrim I moved on to the Khajiit. But Drow are often my go to in these games. Drow are awesome. And Drizzt also exist.

1. Tiefling
Drow used to be the number one species. But then Tieflings came along. At first I didn’t care too much. But then Prudence (Oxventure), Karlach (Baldur’s Gate III) and Doric (Honor Among Thieves) happened. I’m now playing a Tiefling in my second play through of Baldur’s Gate three. I have found my new all time favorite

Top monsters

8. Drider
Being the lover of Drow that I am, I have to include this monster so central to their lore. That’s all really. I only included Driders because I like Drow. My list, my rules.

7. Tarrasque
Not that I’ve ever seen a Tarrasque. Honestly, how many people play a campagn long enough to get to the level needed to encounter a Tarrasque? It was a Challenge Rating of 20 back in 3rd Edition. It seems to have been increased to a Challenge Rating of 30 come 5th Edition. But I do have memories of being a newbie level 1 elf in my first campaign looking at the monster manual thinking “I can’t wait until we can meet this thing.” Well…never happened, but still cool.

6. Mimic
I’ve seen videos of why no DM should ever use mimics unless you want to bring the campaign to a grinding, mistrustful halt every time the players find a chest. But it was awesome to see one in the movie and to see Minsc fight his way out of one in Baldur’s Gate 3. And now I have a dice storage thing in the shape of a Mimic. Plus they’ve been used in other games. So it’s hard to argue against it being iconic.

5. Beholder
First time going against one of these was in Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance. I just really like the design. It’s so simple (a floating ball of a body with a central eye with a bunch of eyed stalks). I can’t really put my finger on why Iike these things so much. I just…do!

4. Displacer Beast
I like felines. Ergo, I like Displacer Beasts. I’m sorry, but some times it’s just that simple.

3. Mind Flayer
It feels like this one just comes straight from Cthulhu mythos. I saw this in several illustrations before finally seeing them in action in any media and they looked creepy as hell. Then I read about a confrontation with them in the Drizzt book Exile. Then they took center stage in Baldur’s Gate 3. I mean, you have fantasy story monsters that are a thrill to see, and then you have fantasy story monsters that are the stuff of nightmares. Mind Flayers are the stuff of nightmares. I love these things.

2. Owlbear
You have Doric’s druid transformation in Honor Among Thieves and then you have the cub that joins your camp in Baldur’s Gate 3. Do I need any more reason? These two are adorable!

1. Black Dragon
Dragons are half the name of the game. Of course one has to be at the top of the list. Why the black dragon? Really I just like how it can blend into the darkness. I like how the horns curve toward the front. I love everything about them. Whenever I see dragons on the screen, they usually seem to be red, or white in Icing Death’s case. I want to see some truly terrifying black dragons on screen. They just look cool.

Honerable mentions

Gelatinous Cube

Not one of my favorite monsters. I mean, it's just a cube of viscous slime. But thanks to Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance and Honor Among Thieves, they are very much in my mind. So I'll give it an HM.

They're absolutely everywhere in fantasy fiction. And while the same can be said for dragons, dragons are literally part of the name of the game. Meanwhile, I hardly connect Vampires to D&D at all.

Going to be honest, I didn't even know about these until Stranger Things, and it's only because of Stranger Things that it gets a mention here.


Woobie Destroyer of Worlds
Knife-eared bastards? If you mean elves, then I'd agree in general. But I did focus mostly on drow. And the only thing that gets a higher score than drow are tieflings.


Woobie Destroyer of Worlds
Top 5 Television Cars From When I Was a Kid

No Transformers allowed or else they'd be the entire list.

5. Herbie
Honestly don't remember much about the movies aside from sentient car wins a lot of races. I mostly just remember the fact that I did watch it. Still remember loving it as a kid.

4. General Lee
Same story here. I remember the fact that I used to watch Dukes of Hazard. But all I truly remember is the horn that played Dixie, a lot of chases and a lot of jumping. That's enough to make the list.

3. Batmobile
I grew up with Adam West as a kid, Tim Burton as a pre-teen and the animated series as a teen. All these Batmobiles were awesome in their own ways. But I'm going to have to go with the Tim Burton version with its armor mode, gatling guns and bombs that came out of the wheels. Where does he get those wonderful toys?

2. Ecto 1
I'm on a Ghostbusters kick lately which may be causing me to rate this unduly high. But wherever you may personally place it on this list, its iconic status can't be denied.

I watched a couple episodes recently and I was pretty aware that Knight Rider isn't really as good as I remember it being as a kid. Still, the 80's really seemed to have a thing for sentient machines. KITT was just too awesome though. Bullet proof, rampless jumping,, ejector seat, turbo mode in later seasons...everything a kid could want in a car.

Top 20 G1 Transformer Toys (not limited to those I own)

20. Weirdwolf
Mostly here because I liked the Headmaster line in general. I've owned more since, but my first Headmasters were Brainstorm and Weirdwolf. Close call, but I do love

19. Kup
I have the Targetmaster version. I lovd the whole Nebulon era in general. I've bought Targetmasters since, but Kup was my first and he's a movie character besides.

18. Hotrod
I never did get one of these originally. I got mine wen Toys R Us were doing their reissues in the early 2000's. It's not the Targetmaster version. But I got it when I was feeling kinda down and it really made my day.

17. Bumblebee
I never had one as a kid until he was re-released as a Pretender. The toy was rereleased later as a keychain. Close enough! I had to rate this one here simply for what I had to go through to get it.

16. Goldbug
I didn't really like Goldbug as a kid because he came at the cost of Bumblebee. But I warmed up to him when Transformers #40 became not only my first Transformers comic, but my first comic period. And while I neither particularly like nor dislike the Throttlebots in general, Goldbug became my first Bumblebee toy until I actually got a Bumblebee.

15. Perceptor
I used to be a science type when I was a kid. Alwas did the science fairs. Loved Mr. Wizards World. I grew out of it. But a Transformer that turned into a microscope? Awesome! It's just a shame I could never find one until recently buying one on Ebay.

14. Ratchet
Now I realize that this is my list and my list only. Objectively, the toy was never popular for obvious reasons. But this is the first Transformer toy I ever owned. I broke it the first time I transformed it. I'm missing pieces and the decals that even still exist are in terrible shape... and I absolutely adore it.

13. Blue Streak
Second Transformer I ever owned (lost track after this one), also broke the first time I transformed it. What can I say, it took me a couple times to learn. I also have a reissue, but I'll always love my original.

12. Devastator
I only ever owned Scrapper. But as a kid I had a friend that had the whole team and I was so jealous when I saw a complete Devestator. I mean, c'mon! This guy's a trailblazer being the first gestalt. I wish I could find a decently priced one on Ebay.

11. Six Shot
I never had Six Shot. But I did have Quickswitch (the Autobot six changer). I was impressed when triple changers were introduced. My mind was blown when they introduced six changers. While I may have owned the Autobot counterpart instead of this one, Six Shot is the first and most well known.

10. Optimus Prime
Woah! Just barely broke the top ten? Not number one? How very much dare you, Caldwin? Well, I mean, hear me out. When you see my number one, you may very well wonder why this is on the list at all (hint: it's a bit of a double dip). Well, being the original OP, he has to be on this list. And considering my number one spot, the fact that this breaks the top 10 on his own merits says something. Plus it includes Roller.

9. Blaster
If Soundwave didn't exist Blaster would rate so much higher. A transformer that stores other transformers in his chest? I mean, never mind you have to be Gen X or earlier to know what a boombox or cassette tapes are. Just the concept of transformers storing transformers is awesome.

8. Punch/Counterpunch
I played with this toy so much as a kid. The decepticons had a powermaster spy with Double Dealer. But Punch/Counterpunch was just so much more fun to fiddle around with flipping from Autobot to Deception and back. It was a crime he only had a cameo in a single episode of the last season and not a single appearance in the comics.

7. Star Scream
While any of the seekers are pretty much just recolors of the same mold, Star Scream is definitely the most recognizable. And in the decade of Top Gun and Iron Eagle, having a robot that turns into a sleek F-15 Eagle was pretty sweet.

6. Scorponok
But I asked Santa for a Fortress Maximus. Well so did a lot of kids and that thing was expensive. So getting Scorponok for Christmas, while mildly disappointing, was still hugging awesome. I think my parents might have liked me just a little. This thing, while not as nuts as Fort Max, was still a good sized toy, not to mention a triple changer and a head master. And considering the unwieldiness of the Fort Max I eventually got, I think this was as much as I could handle as a kid. It's not what I asked for, but it's what I needed and I love it dearly.

5. Grimlock
Dinosaurs are cool. Robots are cool. Robot dinosaurs? Yes please. I didn't have this as a kid, and I had several other Grimlocks before I recently got the original vintage from eBay. Talk about getting one of your holy grails!

4. Soundwave
Everything I said about Blaster you could say about Soundwave except that Soundwave was the OG (and more of a Walkman than a boombox). If you had this, you were the envy of the school yard.

3. Megatron
Don't want to get into the politics here, back back in the 80's, a robot toy that turned into a realistic looking Walther P38 with a bunch of attachments was the most awesome thing ever. I never had one as a kid and seeing one now is usually several hundred dollars even for an incomplete one. And given the safety standards now, we're not likely to ever get a gun Megatron again, certainly not a realistic looking one. *sigh* Missed opportunities!

2. Fortress Maximus
I never had the original. But I did splurge for the Titans Return. This thing is huge. Like I don't even try to take it down from where I have it displayed to transform it just because it's so unwieldy. But talk about your holy grail of holy grails! plus the head turn into a robot whose head also turn into not-Spike. Its the Inception of headmasters.

1. Power Master Optimus Prime
This is why the original Optimus Prime had to be pushed down the list. It just didn't feel right having basically the same character take up the first two slots. I never did get the original Optimus until I gotthe TRU reissue (yes the one with the short stacks).So when this came out, I begged and pleaded with my parents. The wait until Christmas was absolute torture that year. But they got it for me and to this day it has the highest spot in my Transformers display.


Woobie Destroyer of Worlds
I look back on my list and I see I forgot to include the time traveling DeLorean. I have brought shame upon myself and my children down to the next ten generations. Thank goodness I don't have any kids!

Anyway, put this at #4. General Lee gets bumped to #5 and hug Herbie.

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