I left my wife yesterday.
She had a surgery on Wednesday. Had a little thing in the back of her throat, pocket of infection et al. Cue several days of her being at home, looking at pictures of her daughter and saying she has nothing to live for and that she hopes she dies on the table.
She didn't. Surgery took less than 10 minutes. I was there for her, got her through it, got her home and resting. Left when the ex husband came over.
I've been tired guys. For over two years I didn't hear the words "I love you" from her. No physical contact whatsoever. And continual accusations of cheating. Meanwhile her ex husband was over all the time, with a phone full of pictures of her that he took through windows and door cracks. She kept visiting and inviting over other male friends, all of whom made it very clear they're interested in her physically. We haven't been intimate since we got married 5 years ago.
She gets drunk or high on edibles every night because it's the only way she can sleep. Says she's in constant pain but doesn't do anything about it because all the doctors require covid tests and she's "over all of that". Every day I hear about how she has nothing to live for, that she wants to die. You know, all the things a husband wants to hear.
I'd been planning on leaving since last year. But then her daughter died. I couldn't let her go through that on her own. I paid for everything to get her down to Florida and stayed with her.
A former coworker of ours contacted me about 3 weeks ago. She and I have been friends since working together. She and I have started seeing each other. Being told that someone loves me again is more than I can express. Being hugged again is amazing. You never know how much you miss something till it comes back and it hits you just how much you've needed it.
Anyway, she apparently is told that I'm seeing someone and it validates all of the accusations and suspicions she's had. I'd planned to sit down with her today and let her know, but no need to do that now. She's already sent me a ton of messages telling me how horrible I am and trying to guilt trip me.
Thing is, I do feel guilty. No, my none of my needs were met. I was literally just the guy who lived there while her ex husband was basically still her husband. Neither one of us was getting any, but he kept taking pictures of her and she knew it. I tried to help as much as I could, support her and be there for her because these last years have been tough. But goddamnit why can't i get told I love you? Why was a hug too much to ask for? She kept telling me she knew I'd been spending money on "internet whores" and was "supporting several women online". (no, no I'm not) Told me that she saw some woman's name on one of our joint accounts and knew I'd been lying to her from the beginning. (again, no)
I couldn't take it anymore. I still can't. I did everything I could and it would never be enough.
She had a surgery on Wednesday. Had a little thing in the back of her throat, pocket of infection et al. Cue several days of her being at home, looking at pictures of her daughter and saying she has nothing to live for and that she hopes she dies on the table.
She didn't. Surgery took less than 10 minutes. I was there for her, got her through it, got her home and resting. Left when the ex husband came over.
I've been tired guys. For over two years I didn't hear the words "I love you" from her. No physical contact whatsoever. And continual accusations of cheating. Meanwhile her ex husband was over all the time, with a phone full of pictures of her that he took through windows and door cracks. She kept visiting and inviting over other male friends, all of whom made it very clear they're interested in her physically. We haven't been intimate since we got married 5 years ago.
She gets drunk or high on edibles every night because it's the only way she can sleep. Says she's in constant pain but doesn't do anything about it because all the doctors require covid tests and she's "over all of that". Every day I hear about how she has nothing to live for, that she wants to die. You know, all the things a husband wants to hear.
I'd been planning on leaving since last year. But then her daughter died. I couldn't let her go through that on her own. I paid for everything to get her down to Florida and stayed with her.
A former coworker of ours contacted me about 3 weeks ago. She and I have been friends since working together. She and I have started seeing each other. Being told that someone loves me again is more than I can express. Being hugged again is amazing. You never know how much you miss something till it comes back and it hits you just how much you've needed it.
Anyway, she apparently is told that I'm seeing someone and it validates all of the accusations and suspicions she's had. I'd planned to sit down with her today and let her know, but no need to do that now. She's already sent me a ton of messages telling me how horrible I am and trying to guilt trip me.
Thing is, I do feel guilty. No, my none of my needs were met. I was literally just the guy who lived there while her ex husband was basically still her husband. Neither one of us was getting any, but he kept taking pictures of her and she knew it. I tried to help as much as I could, support her and be there for her because these last years have been tough. But goddamnit why can't i get told I love you? Why was a hug too much to ask for? She kept telling me she knew I'd been spending money on "internet whores" and was "supporting several women online". (no, no I'm not) Told me that she saw some woman's name on one of our joint accounts and knew I'd been lying to her from the beginning. (again, no)
I couldn't take it anymore. I still can't. I did everything I could and it would never be enough.
