LGI Watches My Little Pony Tales

[LordGigaIce]

So... My Little Pony. Like a lot of people, the huge breakout success of MLP Friendship is Magic caught me by surprise.
I was just finishing undergrad/starting grad school when it kicked off and I went from surprised, to annoyed it was seemingly everywhere, to curious. I checked it out, fell in love with it for around two seasons, and then moved on. My "Brony" phase was far less deep than a lot of other people's but I did understand the appeal.

Anyway I haven't thought much about MLP since then. I had nothing against the franchise, and FiM turned me from a certified hater who terrorized his sisters' ponies to someone who appreciated it but... the latter seasons of FiM didn't really grab me and then Gen V came out and it just moved past me.

Fast forward to today. I stumbled across My Little Pony Tales. Well I say "stumbled across," I've known about it for a while. I like to do deep dives on things I get into, and MLP was no exception. Of course back then the internet told me that My Little Pony Tales was the Gen II cartoon but... I've since learnt that's not true. Gen II came later and MLPT didn't really have a corresponding toyline outside of some European releases because Hasbro apparently just did that a lot in the early 90s.

What I'm getting at is that I've randomly come across this show and have learnt it's not so much a proper "generation," it's a weird in between sort of thing, and that's my jam. Stuff that's fallen through the cracks and maybe wasn't as appreciated as it should have been.

A lot of the chatter I see is negative about this show, saying it took the fantasy out of it, and it just plopped the MLP IP into the realm of Babyistters' Club tween/teen drama.
Maybe my relatively light MLP fandom comes into play here... but that doesn't bother me. And as I inch closer to 40 I find myself getting more nostalgic for the comforts of my childhood, IE the 90s. So a 90s MLP show that kind of just embraces living in a very early 90s world? And it's a weird in between sort of show that doesn't slot nicely into a major Gen? Wow. I need to try this out.

So I'll be posting my thoughts here on the whole series, as it's not particularly long. Each episode seems like it's broken into two stories... so let's go.

 

[Shadewing]

Tales is kinda the proto-type of FIM in a way, since its completely SOL style. It does take away the fantasy and adventure elements. Its not bad, But its very much a product of its time and is very much the "girls show" type cartoon where it acts like girls only like the most feminine of things.

 

[LordGigaIce]

Ep 1/1 Bon Bon's Diary

The opening titles set the tone. Just a bunch of ponies waking up in their very girly early 90s bedrooms.
I do get why some people take issue with this... replace these ponies with human girls and you basically have a stock standard tween/teen drama on the Disney Channel or YTV or something.
But we live in a world where some of the most highly acclaimed Transformers comics took place after the War was over.
What I'm saying is that if we can have room in our hearts for Whacky Fun Times Aboard the Lost Light then an early 90s slice of life show about colourful horses shouldn't be a huge ask.

So the leads seem to be Starlight, Sweetheart, Melody, Bright Eyes, Patch, Clover, and Bon Bon. Seem like they all have pretty basic character set ups but that's to be expected.

Tubi has the commercial bumpers. Nice.

So Bon Bon's mom says she'll have to give up cooking if she fails a math test. Jump cut to the test and she's cheating. Pretty blatantly actually but the teacher seems old as hell. So Bon Bon is probably just taking advantage of the elderly.

Ok. Teddy. Didn't expect him. I assumed that MLP didn't really get around to male characters of note until like... FiM? But Teddy just strolls in looking like a chad.

Bon Bon cruelly points out that Teddy's never gotten an A in his life and I have to assume it's because he has a learning disability and the Ponyville education system has failed him. Also pretty rich coming from Cheaty McCheaterpants over there.

Anyway Bon Bon writes about her blatant lack of respect for the scholastic craft and her hypocrisy in her diary. I can't see this backfiring at all. Also she calls it the worst day of her life.
Seeing how "upper middle class suburbia" this whole thing is coded, I can believe it.

Anyway, Teddy is eavesdropping and picks up Bon Bon's diary after it slips out of her bag. We also get a music sting worthy of Megatron bringing Cybertron into Earth's orbit. It's wonderful.
Cut to the ice cream parlour, which I suspect will be our Monk's Diner/Central Perk coffee shop.

Starlight: "That's usually two jangles, Bon Bon, but for you, one of my closest friends? Two jangles."

Damn, girl. That's cold. I respect it.

Anyway all the girls realize Bon Bon's diary is missing and they organize a search party. Starlight insists that whoever finds it respect Bon Bon's privacy and... I'm sorry. I grew up with two sisters. That's not happening.

This segues into a musical number of all the ponies looking for the diary, and singing about secrets and how much it would suck if their private secrets got out.
Sweetheart admits she has a crush on Teddy.
Melody has a secret hideaway area where she writes songs.
Patch is secretly a big scaredy cat, having freaked out seeing a mouse and caused a ruckus during a jazzercise class. Pretty sure that one's out of the bag, Patch.
Bright Eyes locked herself in the library overnight once which... ok.
Clover knocked over her mom's vase and glued it back together which... hey... if she hasn't noticed yet you're probably in the clear.
Starlight's secret is that their teacher is her "personal advisor."
And of course Bon Bon cheated on a test.

It's all very adorable and believable for characters who are coded to be anywhere from 10-16 depending on the scene (much less episode).

T-Mobile commercial about how vintage doesn't work for home media. Says you, as I watch my early 1990s cartoons.

Anyway no one can find the diary. Because Teddy has it, and basically blackmails Bon Bon into carrying his books and tries to coerce a date for the dance from her. Bon Bon declares she hates him and then the teacher praises her for getting perfect marks to really rub salt in the wound.

We see Bon Bon's mom, an orange pony with a blonde mane and tail, picking apples. I'm sure someone's cooked that fanfiction up. Anyway Bon Bon is distraught. Though whether it's over the cheating or having to be Teddy's date I'm not sure.

The show really dips into the Babysitters' Club genre with the split screen phone call. I suspect there will be a lot of these, and man, there is some nostalgia there. Remember when if you wanted to talk to your friend over the phone you actually had to have a real conversation?

Anyway Bon Bon and Sweetheart have a conversation and Sweetheart deduces Teddy found the diary. As we established in the secrets song, Sweetheart has a thing for Teddy.
And she calls him (more split screen phone convos) and basically blackmails him back, saying that if he spills the beans on Bon Bon, she'll tell everyone Teddy still sleeps with a teddy bear. Which Teddy seems ready to burn down the world to keep from happening.

Though I must say... it's MLP. You can deduce everyone's personality from their name and Cutie Mark so... like... is Teddy having a teddy bear really that much of a secret?

Also does this imply Theodore Roosevelt exists in this universe?

Anyway Teddy relents. The moral of the story? Blackmail is good when you make it work for you, kids!
Sweetheart says that Teddy can't be all bad, which is funny considering he's been a huge jerk this entire episode. I'm not expecting this show to have long character arcs but this Teddy/Sweetheart thing does seem like something they're planting seeds for.

Teddy tries to tell Bon Bon he's not gonna rat her out, but Bon Bon has decided she's gonna tell the teacher she cheated because the guilt is too much. The teacher reveals that Teddy returned the diary to her earlier.

Anyway Bon Bon retakes the test and gets a C (C is for Competency!) and Teddy admits he just wanted a date with her but was too afraid to ask properly. Bon Bon offers to go with him but he can't, because he got grounded for getting an F. I'm telling you, learning disability. Anyway they all have cookies and Teddy admits he's a slow reader.

Teddy is shaping up to be the tragic hero of this work.

Ep 1/2 Just for Kicks

In a show so aggressively early 90s, the jazzercise may be the most early 90s thing about it.

Bon Bon is exhausted midway through and Starlight says it's all the muffins.
Holy jive, does Starlight just hate Bon Bon?

Clover knocks everyone over and it seems like being clumsy is her thing.

The girls hit up the ice cream parlour after the workout, which seems counter productive.

We're introduced to Ace, who's the captain of the soccer team and he's clearly into Melody. Even though Starlight is into him.

The drama. The

Starlight decides she needs to change. Maybe a new haircut. Maybe a stylish bandana. Maybe new jewelry. Maybe more body shaming Bon Bon. Anything's on the table, really.

So the direction this is going seems pretty clear because she's going on about needing to change entirely so a "you should just be yourself" lesson is probably incoming. Which isn't the worst thing for a kids show.

Starlight tries to catch Ace's attention at soccer practice but no dice. She laments that he'd like her if she was a soccer ball.

So she's gonna be THAT type of girlfriend

The teacher tells Starlight she should join the soccer team, as having a shared interest will help her get closer to Ace. And then she says she's happy to be Starlight's "secret advisor," which they hinted at in the last story, whatever that means.
Like... teachers often do take a mentor role, it's part of the job, but this seems like a 1 on 1 sort of deal.

Anyway, Starlight tries out for the team and it turns out she's not half bad. She impresses in a few drills and the coach says she can join the team if she can dribble the ball around Ace. Which seems like... kind of a tall order? She basically walked onto the team with no prior training and did well enough to impress the coach, but she can't be on the team unless she jukes out the captain? Harsh. But I guess that's why Ponyville Central is the 27 time champions*, they purge weakness.
*this statistic is unverified

So Starlight can't be on the team and Patch calls Ace a jerk even though he was just doing what his coach told him to do. This is how youth radicalization starts.

Starlight has a song now, about how awful she was trying out for the soccer team. Which is like... not true? She did pretty good! If not for the ass backwards final evaluation she'd be on the team. But whatever. Let's angst it up. She's broken up that she can't really get Ace to notice and like her.

Anyway Patch comes in to say Starlight is on the team, even though she specifically failed the "succeed and you're on the team" task. I guess they won't be winning title 28 now. Always hate to see standards of excellence slip.

Starlight wants to know what Ace had to say about her making the team, and Patch is all "who cares?" and it's like girl, how dense are you?

So the soccer game is on and in the final minute one of the starters gets injured and Starlight gets called in she scores to win the game. Mazel tov!

Everyone is happy for Starlight except Ace who sulks away because he didn't score the winning goal, indicating that he'll be the subject of a Ponyville ESPN 30 for 30 down the road, probably ending with a sports betting scandal and an expulsion from the Hall of Fame.

Anyway Ace comes to the ice cream parlour where Starlight works, apologizes for being a doofus, and compliments her on her late game heroics. Ace wants to hang out with her to talk about "technique"'and it seems like those two kids are gonna be alright.

Though I have to say the "you shouldn't have to change who you are for your crush to like you" message that I was sure was coming just... didn't. Hell, Starlight started playing a sport she had no experience with to get Ace's attention and it worked.

So the morals seem pretty wild here.
"Blackmail is good sometimes" and "Sure, change who you are for your crush."

Bold. Let's see how it works out for them.

 

[LordGigaIce]

Tales is kinda the proto-type of FIM in a way, since it's completely SOL style. It does take away the fantasy and adventure elements. It's not bad, But it's very much a product of its time and is very much the "girls show" type cartoon where it acts like girls only like the most feminine of things.

Yeah I get that proto FiM vibe. A single town, cast of main girls, some recognizable side characters. Slice of life.

The fantasy and adventure elements being gone is pretty interesting. I realized as I was writing my recap for Ep 1 that if you just swapped the ponies out for human kids nothing would change.
But I also don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, as the mix of "comfortably 90s" and "slice of life" just has it feeling cozy?

Either way I'm intrigued enough to continue.

 

[Shadewing]

Ok. Teddy. Didn't expect him. I assumed that MLP didn't really get around to male characters of note until like... FiM? But Teddy just strolls in looking like a chad.

Oh there have always been male ponies. G1 has a whole arc or two with the "Big Brother Ponies" who are all, iirc, Clydesdale-ish kinda like Big Mac. Also you are either like or hate Teddy. There tends to be no inbetween.

 

[LordGigaIce]

Oh there have always been male ponies. G1 has a whole arc or two with the "Big Brother Ponies" who are all, iirc, Clydesdale-ish kinda like Big Mac. Also you are either like or hate Teddy. There tends to be no inbetween.

Ah gotcha. This is the second MLP thing I've watched. Just this and FiM. So I had no idea G1 had them. Interesting.

Anyway one ep in and I like Teddy. He's a kindred spirit. Don't let them grind you down, my dude!

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Tales is a trip. It's bad, but it's strangely comfy. The characters are solid and a lot of the dialog is very memorable... for one reason or another.

Ah gotcha. This is the second MLP thing I've watched. Just this and FiM. So I had no idea G1 had them. Interesting.

You need to watch G1 next. It's downright good sometimes.

 

[Shadewing]

You need to watch G1 next. It's downright good sometimes.

G1 tends to be a mix of "DnD with Ponies" and psudeo Slice of Life stuff, but with fantasy elements. FIM is basically what you get when you combine both G1 and Tales, but treat the audience as people.

Edit:

Becuse my autistic mind want let it go I am expanding my thoughts. IMO there is really no bad generation of MLP.
G1 you have the original series which has three types of stories: High Fantasy with your dungeons, dragons, evil wizards, demonicish beings; Light Fantasy with stuff like "this story book has come to life" and "casual fantasy" which is basically "Its our day off, but this BS still keeps happening to us." As the series goes on it leans more and more into the latter. Then you get Tales that removes the fantasy and adventure all togeather. As Coffee says its kinda bad, but bad in an enjoyable way and there is still some strong points to it.

G3 also has multiple eras that kinda mimic g1. You have the "movie" era where everything is a series of connected hour or so lenght adventures. Then when it switched to more tradtional episodes, it switched to a more Slice of life format. Though unlike tales, it doesn't feel like a complete reboot of the generation. Then you get the part that is usually what everyone hates which is basically "MLP Babies" and everything takes a cliffdive. G3 overall is a very fun series and is trying to balance "girl cartoon" with "Adventure fantasy" but doesn't hit it that well.

G4 you know. It's a perfect balance of the franchise.

G5 is has a lot of good and fun ideas going for it and really should have been given more of a chance. Its not as good as g4, but honestly nothing was going to be. Just like when any franchise has its breakout hit, nothing that follows is gonna hit the same twice, but doesn't make them bad.

You'll notice G2 is missing and that's because 1. G2 is barely a thing even when it was a thing and 2. Is mostly lost media now because of it. I think it was mostly Euro exclusive and lasted only like a year or two.

 

[LordGigaIce]

Ep 2/1 Slumber Party

I guess given the intended audience and genre, this was inevitable. Look, I grew up with an older sister and a younger sister... girls slumber parties were the bane of my existence.

pours some Scotch

let's do this

Ok so... hell. Props to this episode, it starts rather atmospheric. There's some quieter, somber music as a leaf blows across the cloudy sky at night.
I grew up in suburbia and anything that can capture the mood of a windy night with friends is a winner in my book.
It's also nice to see any degree of effort put into kids shows meant to sell a product. I know it's just an establishing shot, but they put more into it then they had to, to set a mood and I respect that.

Anyway the girls are having a slumber party. As you do. Clover sucks at charades. Bon Bon is clearly failing literature and comparative mythology. Starlight guesses the answer and everyone crowds her to congratulate her. And we suddenly veer from slumber party to cult initiation for a brief moment.

Sweatheart's parents come by to sate their need for sugar with ice cream. Bright Eyes tries to impress her friends by claiming ice cream is rich in vitamins and calcium. And given that the first two episodes had the lessons of "blackmail is good if you can make it work for you" and "change things about yourself so your crush will notice you" is "ice cream is healthy, actually" really that much of a shock? I applaud this show's commitment to subversive lessoneering.

All of the girls make a mess preparing the sundae (I thought the parents had set it up but I guess they're conducting some weird social experiment) and I expected better of Bon Bon. Preparing food is like her whole thing.

Anyway that moody opening becomes plot relevant as a storm blows through and a lightning strike takes out of the power for a brief moment. Patch thinks a ghost may have done it and the girls laugh that a "ghost" must have taken a bite out of the sundae.

Bright Eyes proceeds to use a sock puppet to make fun of their teacher as they get ready for bed and a pillow fight breaks out.

Kind of suffering from ptsd here but it's ok I'll push through.

Anyway the parents bring a stop to that and they all go to sleep. Only not all is well, as the lightning storm is still raging outside. The lighting and thunder gets really bad, waking the ponies up and Sweetheart is terrified. Patch, though, wants to tell a ghost story. She was the one who raised the possibility of ghosts earlier...
Starlight decides they need a blanket and pillow tent if they're going to tell a ghost story and away we go.

Patch tells the story of a male pony named Squire who lived a long time ago in a castle around these here parts. Squire wanted to be a knight and so his dad goes "son, if you want to be a knight you have to go kill a dragon."

So last time, Starlight could only join the soccer team if she juked out the team captain and Squire can only be a knight if he kills a dragon.

Ponies don't mess around. You go hard or you go home.

So Squire has to go kill a dragon named Basil, which is an interesting name for a dragon. His dad tells him Basil lives in a cave deep in the forest and sends him out after him. No helicopter parents in Medieval Ponyville. He did give him a sword though so that's nice.

Like all good RPG protagonists, Squire has a few encounters to build up the EXP before the boss fight and wasn't this about a slumber party?

Patch gets really dark by saying Squire found a torch left by a previous knight who "would never live to see the light of another day."
And then... well... Squire dies.

Yep. Basil the dragon blasts a hole in the ground and Squire falls in and that's that.

It should be noted that at the start of this story, Patch says Squire wasn't much older then the girls. These characters are coded from anywhere from 10-16 depending on the scene, and they're hovering around the tween ages this ep, so either way you cut it, Patch just told them (and showed us) a story where a child was murder killed by a dragon.

This show doesn't give a hug and it's wonderful.

Patch concludes by saying some say that Squire is still roaming Ponyland searching for his dragon. Which is just... gah. Little kid ghosts are always freaky.

They hear a ruckus in the attic and Patch is convinced that Squire's ghost is about so she heads up, and is promptly followed by her friends.

The attic is properly spooky, especially with the rain, wind, and thunder and lightning. We get a few "IT'S A GHOST" fakeouts and this leads us to a musical number about how the mundane becomes creepy at night.

And you know what? I dig it. My friends and I used to go on adventures around our neighbourhood at night, even poking around our school. There is something unnerving as a kid about spaces you're used to seeing in the daytime being quiet and empty in the dark of night. This episode is working for me.

The ponies mess around in the attic, have some laughs getting scared at mundane stuff, including Sweetheart's cat Springfield. They determine Springfield was the cause of the ruckus and the girls head back to bed.

And then... ghosts are real.

Holy hell. The ponies were in the attic, looking for Squire's ghost. They determine it was just the cat... and then... poof. Squire's ghost just shows up to Patch as she's sleeping.

The pacing. The total lack of narrative cohesion. My G-d. You'd think that maybe the girls would run into Squire together and have an adventure or something? No... let's have them get spooked by garden hoses and determine ghosts aren't real just before the ghost shows up with no fanfare.

Squire thanks Patch for telling his story, and Patch kinda seems stoned as she goes "yeah anytime."
Squire declares he has to go because his planet needs him he needs to search for Basil, and this is all terrifyingly tragic.

Starlight wakes up and asks Patch who she was talking to and Patch is like "oh no one" and what the hell.

Either Patch saw a ghost of a boy who's cursed to wander suburbia forever looking for a dragon named after a British librarian or she's high off her gord... and given the numerous "catch the magic dragon" allusions I can't discount the latter option.

We end the episode with Patch going "maybe it was a dream... or maybe not."

WELL THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS EXPECTING FROM THE BABYSITTERS' CLUB MLP SLUMBER PARTY EPISODE

This show... is fascinating. I think I love it.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

they put more into it then they had to

Tales is weird like that. Its legendary "quality" isn't due to a lack of effort. They actually put a really respectable amount of effort into parts of it. You just never can guess which parts are going to show that effort. It's a wild ride.

And given that the first two episodes had the lessons of "blackmail is good if you can make it work for you" and "change things about yourself so your crush will notice you" is "ice cream is healthy, actually" really that much of a shock? I applaud this show's commitment to subversive lessoneering.

*trying to stifle laughter* It gets better.

This is another reason I can't hate this show. Animaniacs' Wheel of Morality has nothing on this show's lessons, and here it is done with a complete sincerity that makes it all feel surreal instead of just broken. It is accidentally a top tier parody of the kind of show it's trying to be.

I expected better of Bon Bon. Preparing food is like her whole thing.

Preparing food is not her thing.

I won't spoil it. Just keep an eye on her.

Bright Eyes proceeds to use a sock puppet

HOW?

Kind of suffering from ptsd here but it's ok I'll push through.

All veteran Allsparklers have ptsd from that sock puppet.

It should be noted that at the start of this story, Patch says Squire wasn't much older then the girls. These characters are coded from anywhere from 10-16 depending on the scene, and they're hovering around the tween ages this ep, so either way you cut it, Patch just told them (and showed us) a story where a child was murder killed by a dragon.

This show doesn't give a hug and it's wonderful.

*trying really hard to stifle laughter* It gets better.

And you know what? I dig it. My friends and I used to go on adventures around our neighbourhood at night, even poking around our school. There is something unnerving as a kid about spaces you're used to seeing in the daytime being quiet and empty in the dark of night. This episode is working for me.

My neighborhood had an abandoned school I once explored at night. It closed before I was born and they just left it there.

This show... is fascinating. I think I love it.

One of us.

Too many fans never give this show a chance because of its legendary "quality", and never find out that its well attested faults don't necessarily stop it from being an enjoyable experience. It is all levels of wrong, except that it has a genuinely solid cast. They're likeable and not as shallow as you'd expect, and it's fun to watch them blunder around the morally and logically insane world they live in. The sincerity amid the craziness is something to behold.

 

[LordGigaIce]

All veteran Allsparklers have ptsd from that sock puppet.

This one shot raises so many questions.