Nobody has the intention to invade Ukraine

[Pale Rider]

Fox News Host Thinks Admitting Trump Tried To Bribe Ukraine Will Own The Libs

Spoiler alert: It didn't.

www.huffpost.com

 

[Monique]

Still wouldn't discount the possibility that Musk intends to throw the match. Or that he will once the oligarchs make a counter offer.

Musk would never skip the opportunity to become an untouchable legendary hero to the world. He would 100% try and find some sort way to cheat and kill Putin. He pulls that off and nobody could say shit about him again. The amount of money he could make off that dwarfs anything the russian oligarchs could offer.

 

[Rust]

Here's an idea - ignore Musk. The man's such a raging narcassist he's trying to stick his dick into an international conflict. I for one would just as soon take a guilliotine to his member and be done with it.

 

[wonko the sane?]

So I take it nothing of note has happened in the last 10 hours then?

 

[Kup]

The man's 70, and the media's still using propaganda pictures from the early aughts.

Of course he looks in poor health comparatively, because people still think 2009 was last year instead of 13 years ago.

To be fair, I keep thinking this is 2020, having forgotten we practically lost 2 years of our lives. “2012? Oh that was 8 years ago…no wait. It’s 2022???”

 

[Dekafox]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1503440892056805381

This feels very... hard to find the exact turn of phrase, but like something you'd see in a movie depiction of an oppressed land before the hero starts the revolution. Or maybe just popular depictions of North Korea. The Soviet Ballads part feels very on-brand anyways for the Onion timeline we live in now.

 

[Ungnome]

The Soviet ballads part is rather telling of Putin's ultimate goals. He really wants to be the next Stalin, like REALLY WANTS to be the next Stalin. Hopefully he just ends up being a second-rate Mussolini and his own people take care of him.

 

[Wheelimus]

And all he's really accomplished is expanding Crimea a little bit and the two breakaway wannabe Peoples Republics or whatever.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

 

[Wheelimus]

Doesn't Putin know the only Americans who want to go to Russia are Republican Senators, Congressman, and one former President. Hillary don't want to go.

 

[Pocket]

And we should let them go, and block them from coming back.

 

[Wheelimus]

Can we just make a trade? All the anti-Putin Russians currently in jail for all of our traitors. Let Trump build golf courses all over Russia.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

What did the normal citizens of Russia do to deserve that?

 

[Wheelimus]

Nothing much, I just really want rid of a bunch of freaks. And I don't know what else to do with them. Can't trust those huggers with their own country, and where would you put it? Nah, sent to Russia sounds best.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

I mean, we could always shove them down a superdeep borehole. Or ship them to Centralia. It's about the closest to Hell you can get on Earth, it'll be a nice preview for them.

 

[Pocket]

Just heard that Germany is buying a bunch of fighter planes from the US. Our actual military might not be doing anything, but the military-industrial complex will be eating good tonight.

Comment on the r/news thread that I found amusing:

German aircraft are patrolling Polish airspace right now.

What Putin managed to achieve is nothing short of spectacular. He got the Swiss to pick a side, he got Turkey and Greece to work together and he got Poland to welcome the German Luftwaffe into its skies.

 

[Covert Agent Rodimal]

Let's put them all on the first colony ship to Mars instead

 

[Shattered Trousers]

Let's put them all on the first colony ship to Mars instead

Ah, yes, just like the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B.

The Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B was a way of removing the basically useless citizens from the planet of Golgafrincham.

~L~
Don't panic.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

Wouldn't it be a terrible shame if the autopilot made a mistake and flew into the sun instead.

 

[Anonymous X]

Just heard that Germany is buying a bunch of fighter planes from the US. Our actual military might not be doing anything, but the military-industrial complex will be eating good tonight.

Comment on the r/news thread that I found amusing:

Not really a funny take from r/news, given Germany and Poland have cooperated bilaterally since the end of the Cold War, have been partners in Nato since 1999 and the EU since 2004. (Luftwaffe literally means Air Force, incidentally; it’s not some special Nazi term.) Greece and Turkey have been partners in Nato and EU bilateral accords for decades as well…