Campaign Texts Archive

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
FROM TRUMP: Before my trial resumes, will you endorse me?

PLEASE PLEASE I've never needed you more

ENDORSE TRUMP:
11:13 AM

The last time I endorsed a candidate the whole party stopped talking to me for months.

So maybe I should do it and see if this stops.

From Trump: ALVIN BRAGG THREATENED TO THROW ME IN JAIL!

30 days behind bars.

MY EMERGENCY RESPONSE:
1:06 PM

FROM TRUMP: I want [CoffeeHorse] to be my special guest!

I'll cover your TRIP to Mar-a-Lago.

MIDNIGHT DEADLINE:
4:00 PM

[CoffeeHorse], my father is in court for BOGUS charges. ENOUGH! Sign this petition to DROP ALL CHARGES against him > -Don JR
5:53 PM

From Trump: KNOCK KNOCK

I wish the DEEP STATE saw this when they banged on my door

TAKE A LOOK:
6:48 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
From Trump: I JUST STORMED INTO COURT!

The gloves are coming off, [CoffeeHorse]!

NEVER SURRENDER:
9:41 AM

I don't want to do this, [CoffeeHorse]. It's Mark. After 4yrs together, your House GOP Membership will be terminated! Don't go! Act now:
12:26 PM

I don't even know who you are, Mark. Does anyone have a guess?

From Trump: KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME!

ALVIN BRAGG WANTS TO throw me in jail!

READ MY EMERGENCY RESPONSE:
1:20 pm

ALERT FROM DONALD TRUMP:

I choose [CoffeeHorse]!

Have you ever seen a GOLD MAGA hat?

JUST LOOK AND SEE:
4:28 PM

FROM TRUMP: I'm dying to meet you [CoffeeHorse]

Would you like to be my SPECIAL GUEST at Mar-a-Lago?

MEET TRUMP:
7:19 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
From Trump: I'M HOLDING AN EMERGENCY PRESS CONFERENCE

I will not be silenced. Will you?

I'M VOTING TRUMP:
9:49 AM

RSVP to join President Donald J. Trump in Wilmington, NC TOMORROW:
11:40 AM

My phone number must be one typo away from some mega donor, because these people think I can just fly to another state at a day's notice.

From Trump: I'M TRAPPED IN COURT

I need your help [CoffeeHorse]

END THE WITCH HUNT

Read my confidential memo:
11:49 AM

From Trump: 42 DAYS OF HELL!

Judge vows to keep me in court for 6 WEEKS!

ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

My response:
2:17 PM

Senator John Kennedy sent you an urgent message about the battle for the House Majority.

Please click [link] to view it right away!
2:41 PM

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM DONALD TRUMP

I'm addressing the nation, [CoffeeHorse]

PLEASE STAND WITH ME:
5:25 PM

FROM TRUMP: Do you have your outfit picked out?

Because I want to see YOU at Mar-a-Lago.

Here's how to join me:
7:13 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
FROM TRUMP: I've always trusted [CoffeeHorse]!

Before tonight's rally, will you endorse me?

PLEASE!

ENDORSE:
11:14 AM

FROM TRUMP: Before my trial resumes, will you endorse me?
PLEASE PLEASE I've never needed you more.
ENDORSE TRUMP:
11:34 AM

[CoffeeHorse], I've reached out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5+ times. Your state GOP Membership has EXPIRED. This is a quick reminder to 1-click renew:
2:13 PM

I swear the random underline is exactly how it appears in the text.

FROM TRUMP: Before tonight's rally, I want to hear from you.

Can I interview you?

ANSWER QUESTION #1 HERE:
2:55 PM

From Trump: TWO HOURS UNTIL MY FIRST RALLY SINCE MY TRIAL BEGAN!

Before I'm on stage, I need you to read this:
5:13 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
It must be. Good thing I didn't fly all the way over there to be a VIP guest.

Can we count on you to defend Election Integrity in FL? Sign up to join my team TODAY:
11:21 AM

HAVE YOU SEEN MY MUGSHOT?

This is Donald Trump, and there's only 24 HRS left until my SCAM TRIAL STARTS

PLEASE LOOK:
11:27 AM

Closing the curtains on my campaign.

I'm at my wits' end, [CoffeeHorse].

Biden and the Democrats just have too much power, too many connections, and too much in their fundraising war chest.

Now, they've just dumped $5.5 million into Montana, and their sights are set on me.

At this point, if I don't do a total 180 on the fundraising front, not only will I lose my House seat, Republicans may never hold the majority in Congress again.

[CoffeeHorse], this is Ryan Zinke. I served as President Trump's Secretary of the Interior and I was a ground forces commander at SEAL Team 6.

I'm also running for Congress in the most critical race in the nation.

But if Biden can destroy me in this race, I can guarantee you that no other Republican will have a chance.

In 2022, I led the team of Navy SEALs that retook the House Majority, and I have more battle experience than anyone else. Point is, I'm one of the toughest, most battle-tested Republicans in Washington D.C. If I can't beat the Democrats gunning for my seat - no one can.

So I'm counting on you, as a warrior who's fought for this nation for my entire life, will you help me out?

You have my word, as a former Navy SEAL and commander at SEAL Team 6, if you help me out, I will continue to return the favor in congress.

Thank you for your support,
Ryan Zinke
1:16 PM

From Trump: Who should be my next VP?

You'll be the first to know once I make a decision.

VOTE:
2:09 PM

FROM TRUMP: Do you want to meet me at Mar-A-Lago?

Get your bags packed. This is your invitation.

MEET TRUMP:
6:17 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
From Trump: I'M HOLDING AN EMERGENCY PRESS CONFERENCE

I will not be silenced. Will you?

I'M VOTING TRUMP:
9:54 AM

Calling all Attorneys!
YOU can help ensure elections are free, fair, & transparent.
Become a Volunteer Lawyer TODAY:
11:16 AM

I took two law classes in college. Two.

FROM TRUMP: I want [CoffeeHorse] to be my special guest!

I'll cover your TRIP to Mar-a-Lago!

MIDNIGHT DEADLINE:
12:13 PM

[CoffeeHorse], it's Mark from Membership Services.

Your House GOP Membership should be TERMINATED, but I'm giving you 1 more chance:
2:08 PM

We still don't know who Mark is, but at least we have a job title now.

4,999 conservatives have signed the official petition to drop all charges against Pres. Trump! [CoffeeHorse], will you be the 5,000th?
3:01 PM

I used to be on dozens of left leaning mailing lists. Trust me, petitions don't do shit.

From Trump: I want [CoffeeHorse] to have this MAGA hat

You've never seen one quite like this.

TAKE A LOOK:
3:59 PM

FROM LARA TRUMP: President Trump & I want to hear from YOU!

Do you have time for a quick interview?

BEGIN:
4:25 PM

From Trump: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE IN 24 HOURS!
TOMORROW I CAN BE THROWN IN JAIL!
My Emergency Update:
4:26 PM

FROM TRUMP: My farewell message!

I could be thrown in jail TOMORROW!

MY LAST MESSAGE BEFORE TOMORROW'S HEARING:
7:21 PM
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
Oh, you're not working for free.

You'll never get paid, of course, but that's just a minor distinction.
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
It's a secret to everybody!

From Trump: I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!

ARE YOU BY MY SIDE?

TELL ME NOW:
11:20 AM

[CoffeeHorse], Donald Trump Jr. has sent you a secret message, please review within the next 15 minutes:
12:47 PM

From Trump: CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

I'm surprising Melania with a birthday card signed by 1 MILLION PATRIOTS

SIGN:
2:27 PM

GOLD MAGA HAT from Donald Trump

100% Made. In. America.

Only a few left:
5:19 PM

FROM TRUMP: Have you packed your bags yet?

I hope so!

This is a formal invitation to Mar-a-Lago

MEET TRUMP:
7:50 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
"JOIN ME"

This is Chairman Whatley and I need your help to ensure safe and fair elections. Will you join me, [CoffeeHorse]?
9:23 AM

FROM TRUMP: I'm opening up my home to [CoffeeHorse]

Will you be my guest at Mar-a-Lago?

DREAMS DO COME TRUE:
11:16 AM

Mark Levin SETS THE RECORD STRAIGHT about what's really behind the political persecution against Trump! Read this:

-House GOP
1:19 PM

FROM TRUMP: I need an endorsement from [CoffeeHorse]!

PLEASE!

All eyes are on YOU.

Decide by MIDNIGHT:
2:20 PM

From Trump: I JUST POSTED THIS ON TRUTH SOCIAL!

THE JUDGE SHOULD RECUSE HIMSELF!

ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

READ:
5:08 PM

From Trump: LET'S MEET BEFORE I'M LOCKED UP!

I want to host YOU at Mar-a-Lago, [CoffeeHorse].

JOIN ME:
7:58 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
From Trump: I'M HOLDING AN EMERGENCY PRESS CONFERENCE

I will not be silenced. Will you?

I'M VOTING TRUMP:
10:08 AM

From Trump: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

They won't let me out of this COURTROOM.

Read my emergency memo:
11:09 AM

From Trump: MELANIA'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW

I want you to sign her card.
PLEASE!

Leave a personal message:
2:20 PM

FROM TRUMP: [CoffeeHorse], do you need a job?

I want your advice to get through the RIGGED TRIAL

JOIN MY BOARD:
5:07 PM

Did I just win The Apprentice?

FROM TRUMP: [CoffeeHorse], do you want to visit Mar-a-Lago?

It's almost too late!

ENTER TO WIN:
7:55 PM
 

abates

unfortunate shark issues
Citizen
FROM TRUMP: [CoffeeHorse], do you need a job?

I want your advice to get through the RIGGED TRIAL
OK, listen very carefully. What you need to do is stand up in the middle of the court and say "I did it. It was me. Please send me to prison for three dozen years." and the trial will magically end and everyone will get kittens and/or puppies.
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
It's hard to tell which will disgust trump more: admitting to a crime, or doing something that gets other people things.
 

The Mighty Mollusk

Scream all you like, 'cause we're all mad here
Citizen
Considering how much of his defense right now is "I had the right to commit crimes as president", I'm gonna guess the latter.
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
FROM TRUMP: Farewell [CoffeeHorse]!

I hope this isn't goodbye.

DEMOCRATS WANT ME IN JAIL!

Emergency response:
11:16 AM

From Trump: I'D LOVE TO BE WITH MELANIA ON HER BIRTHDAY, BUT INSTEAD I'M STUCK IN COURT!

Read my full message:
2:02 PM

Lara Trump: I want YOU to be my special guest at our Spring retreat!

Your ENTIRE TRIP is covered!

TAKE A SPOT AT MAR-A-LAGO:
2:41 PM

Actually, the invitation offers to cover everything except the cost of entering Mar-a-Lago. For some reason.

BREAKING FROM TRUMP: Biden CAVES & agrees to debate.

My offer: LET'S DEBATE NEXT WEEK!

Read my full response:
4:03 PM

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM LARA TRUMP

I'm addressing the nation in 1 HOUR

Before I'm on Hannity, READ THIS:
7:57 PM

From Lara Trump: You made the cut for the Trump Gold Club!

You're one of the few Patriots from FL to get this invite.

ACCEPT:
9:08 PM
 

CoffeeHorse

*sip*
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
From Trump: THE FINAL BLACK MAGA HAT

After today, there might not be any left - FOREVER

CLAIM:
11:13 AM

From Trump: [CoffeeHorse], this is a formal invitation to the BIG RACE

Do you want a photo together?

SIGN UP:
2:25 PM

I don't know what the BIG RACE is. Is it a Napcar thing?

From Trump: I JUST ACCEPTED THE DEBATE

Biden caved. Now let's do it ASAP!

Here's my plan to HUMILIATE HIM:
5:13 PM

FROM TRUMP: Will you sit down for an interview with me?

[CoffeeHorse] can't be silenced!

START:
8:06 PM

On one condition. You have to tell me about the aliens. You can duck any other question but not that one.
 


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