So I recently learned something about myself...

[Videomaster21XX]

Honestly not sure where else to put something like this then Mayhem, but as the title suggests I recently learned something about myself that certainly puts a lot of things into perspective.

So you may know me by a few times on the board getting into an argument in which I'd argue a point, and people would get fed up with me and just not understand why I wouldn't let it go and I'll be honest during those times I've sat here wondering what I'm doing wrong to get my point across.

Well I never thought about it before, because when I was a kid we didn't really have proper tests for these things. But to get to the point, in a recent conversation like that someone mentioned I was probably on the spectrum.

Now stay with me, but this made me think about the 2017 Power Rangers movie, and Billy in that movie. It was mentioned that he was on the spectrum and because of that his brain worked differently than theirs. It made sure to say that didn't mean he was stupid, it's just his brain takes in and processes information differently.

That... that made me realize I think the issue with these things is my brain is simply doing something yours does not. This makes me also realize that I have no damn clue how a normal brain is apparently supposed to work.

So for me, when I take in information, my brain automatically begins to dissect it and process it. It'll sit there and basically try to understand what it's being given. So it'll lay it out, look at the information we have of this topic, see if it all makes sense, and come up with a conclusion/opinion.

For example:

If you remember when we watched the My Little Pony Friendship is Magic episode "Made in Manehatten" I asked the question of why Applejack didn't ask for help from her family in that episode. I was given an answer like: "Because the episode is only so long" Well to put it simply it wasn't satisfactory. So to explain what happened there, let me try to lay out why I asked the question:

The information my brain got was: "Rarity and Applejack need help doing thing." The moment that information entered my brain, it dissected it and began to gather all the rest of the info we knew about the two characters and the setting and calculated the best solutions to that issue. So basically:

Brain: The issue is they need help.

Brain: We know the characters are Rarity and Applejack

Brain: We know Rarity doesn't have many connections in Manehatten

Brain: We know Applejack has family in Manehatten

Brain: We know the apples are very close. They have large family reunions, so it is fair to say they would have ways of contacting each other.

Brain: We also know that Applejack went to stay with her Aunt and Uncle Orange as a filly. It's probably to say she knows where they live now.

Brain: Given this information, it makes logical sense that Applejack would reach out to her family for assistance. It's also the most probable course of action they would take given the information we have. The solution is to ask her family for help, or at the very least it just makes too much sense for them to try that course of action.


As we know. The show didn't even acknowledge that. There was never a mention of even trying for that. Not even single line of dialogue of Applejack saying she couldn't get a hold of them. Since this was flat out ignored. My brain zeros in on that. Because What I just listed has become an algorithm. Those points up there are the variables in that algorithm that no matter how many times I run it. Since all that information is correct as far as I'm able to decipher. No matter how many times I run this algorithm, it's just going to give me the same damn answer.

Now SOMEHOW for everyone else, plugging information like: "The show didn't have time to show that so it wasn't addressed" Seems to satisfy you. Heck "It's a kids show" also seems to satisfy most people. You plug that in and your brain is able to accept things and move on.

To be blunt, I can't do that. I have no idea how in the world you do that. Because again. Everything I listed there is still true. None of the information in that algorithm has been contradicted. So since none of the information there has been changed. I'm still getting the same answer. So you can preach to me as long as you want that it's just a kids show, that the way creative corporations work means things are done a certain way. None of that matters, because my brain will just take that information and go:

Brain: Okay everything we said here still makes sense. It's still correct information, and we still see it as the most likely thing these particular characters would have done in this situation. The information you give us only suggests that due to time, or creative judgement. This information WAS IGNORED. We understand time constraints and why cuts need to be made. This does NOT however negate anything we've listed above, thus the conclusion is still the same. What we have presented is still the most likely choice of action these characters would have made based on the information we have of the situation and these particular characters. Therefore to not address it. Is an error.

And we are now stuck here until I'm able to get information that suggests otherwise. Or to be more precise. You have to give me information that CHANGES A VARITABLE.

An example of this actually happening was when I was being an idiot and getting mad at Nintendo for not giving me a physical copy of Fatal Frame 5 for the WiiU. My thought process was:

Brain: We want this game.

Brain: Nintendo is only releasing it digitally

Brain: They could release a physical copy, but won't.

Brain: This suggests they want to be cheap about it to save money just because.

Brain: We are upset about this. We want a physical copy and cheapness is denying us that. Nintendo is in the wrong.

I stated as much, and I hate myself for it now, but at the time, that was all the information I had. Then someone pointed out some information I either didn't have or just hadn't thought of that directly challenged and changed one of those variables in this particular algorithm.

Namely that Fatal Frame is NOT a high seller franchise. It only does 'okay' and the truth is, the fact we got an English translation at all is Nintendo being generous.

Thus one of my variables was challenged and altered. "I'm not getting a physical copy because Nintendo is being cheap just because." No they aren't giving me a physical copy because sadly it doesn't really make sense from a business standpoint to do so. I'd buy a copy, but probability and logic suggests they could end up losing money on this. So a digital copy is the safer route.

That information contradicts things I thought before. This the variables change, and a new conclusion is reached.

Now that I've typed all that, my brain is looking at the information we are giving you and now also dissecting it and trying to anticipate how you might react to it, or process the data yourself. It's trying to help me figure out the best way to phase things as to help everyone understand and not piss people off.

So it's suggesting you might think I'm putting WAAAAAAAAAAY too much effort into this stuff, or maybe that I'm making this more complicated then it needs to be.

And the point of this thread is I'm basically trying to get across that:

This is NORMAL for me. Subconscious. This is how I take in and process all information. All of it. All the time. This is how my brain is HARDWIRED to function.

This is why I am unable to fully enjoy a movie like Pixar's cars, because the world presented to me just causes my brain to ask a ton of questions that we aren't given answers to. Like how are there baby cars? Where do they come from? Does this suggest the cars 'Mate'? Can a plane mate with a race car? How does any of this make sense?

It being a kids movie does nothing, because my brain is too focused on: "This is presented to us as a world that exists, but nothing in this world makes any sort of sense." If we saw at the end of the movie two kids playing with toys that looked like the characters, that would suggest all of that was from their imagination, and thus it makes sense the world has issues, because kids aren't going to think or care about stuff like that.

But we don't have information that suggests that. All we know is the world is supposed to be a real world with normal flowing time, and it just falls apart the moment you question anything.

And again. I'm not able to do anything about my brain doing that. There is no switch I can flip and my brain stops doing that. I can't ignore information once my brain has logged it. Because as far as it's concerned, ignoring information makes no sense. The information is still there, and if it rings true, than it must be accepted and acknowledged.

That's just how it is for me. I can't rewire my brain. I can't do anything about this. So that's why when I look at something like the stupid P.T. Demo and go "Okay this is my opinion on that"

So repeatedly telling me "BUT THE PS4 COMES WITH A MIC" Is not a damn answer, because it doesn't magically change the variables that lead me to my initial opinion in the first place. Therefore I'm not going to suddenly have a different opinion, because the information I presented STILL ENDS UP GIVING ME THE SAME ANSWER. I gave suggestions as to why that didn't solve the problem, but it kept being given to me like it was some sort of checkmate, and my brain just kept screaming: "THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING WE'VE SAID"

And yes I get frustrated, because I'm human. It makes sense that I'd get frustrated because from my perspective you are just ignoring the algorithm altogether and giving me an answer that doesn't work. So when that same freaking answer is given AGAIN and everyone thumbs up the comment. I get pissed off because from my perspective, you're just making fun of me at that point.

It's why I try so hard to say: "Hey I get people likely aren't going to see things my way. You don't have to agree with me." If I don't like something like Wind Waker I always try to say: "You can continue to enjoy it. I'm not telling you not to, I'm just giving the information on why I DON'T.

I also consider there are times I'm not presenting the information to you in the best way. I'm an animated person, so I have a default way of saying things. I try to be conscious of that as it's one of the few things I am in control of with these things. Sometimes I give my opinion just to vent it out, because I don't want to just sit in a corner and never say anything ever.

Hence why I wanted to get this out. Because I'm really hoping maybe some sort of understanding can come from this. I don't have a choice in processing information this way. If I'm given information and I don't understand it, I keep trying to. Especially if it's something I want to know. I want to understand. And there isn't an off switch to that.

I'm stuck doing things this way till I'm dead.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Brains are weird.

It sounds like yours got overly optimized for something it definitely should be doing, which is making sense of all its data points. Keeping track of all the variables.

All of them.

You got a physicist brain, not an economist brain. You just don't do anomalies, outliers, or glitches. An anomaly is an undiscovered variable. Where others are happy to find the line of best fit, your brain looks for that missing variable that makes this formula account for all the observed results.

 

[Patch]

The problem with a brain like that is that you end up glitching out every time you run into someone whose brain runs on a different sort of logic than yours. (Which is most people you'll encounter.)

 

[MEDdMI]

Liking your post for sharing.
There is no such thing as a "normal" brain, imo. I also overanalyze and scrutinize media, but can also separate it as being its own world, possibly with staff/producers with little interest/investment in the show (hence a lot of stuff is waved away with an invisible magic-wand).
That doesn't keep me from questioning why X happened/was ignored, etc.
I also overanalyze and re-write my posts, questioning how it'll be perceived, and if my point comes across.

On the MLP ep, perhaps AJ was simply too proud to ask for help or even admit she needed it? Note, I haven't seen the series in ages and don't recall that ep specifically.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

The problem with a brain like that is that you end up glitching out every time you run into someone whose brain runs on a different sort of logic than yours. (Which is most people you'll encounter.)

I don't think some of you realize just how damn true this post rings for me.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

On the MLP ep, perhaps AJ was simply too proud to ask for help or even admit she needed it? Note, I haven't seen the series in ages and don't recall that ep specifically.

I came up with a few logical reasons it could have happened. I mean she could have asked off screen and gotten no response. The issue I had was we didn't SEE that. Thus missing information, thus it's an error.


So another thing that I'm realizing is how I get when I get into arguments.

See the reason that P.T. Demo thing still lives rent free in my mind is because from my perspective, I was being told I was an idiot for having that opinion, or even that I shouldn't have it in the first place. Which makes no sense to me, because I have my opinions based on the information I have, the logic I've applied to it, the probability calculations I've applied, and my own experience. Which BTW, this takes all of two seconds tops to do.

However since all of that is this backing of information and I've settled on my opinion of the matter because of it. Naturally I feel I'm correct in feeling this way. Telling me you don't agree is fine, but saying something like: "BUT THE PS4 COMES WITH A MIC" Even AFTER I EXPLAINED WHY THAT DIDN'T CHANGE MY MIND. Is frankly infuriating.

That doesn't somehow MAGICALLY change how I feel. I don't know what people freaking want from me.

I always go out of my way to admit that I get my opinion probably isn't a poplar opinion. I say you don't have to follow my opinion. But damn it it's STILL my opinion and for, as far as I can calculate, a good reason. So like what am I supposed to do?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

For what it's worth... you're right about Wind Waker. It used to be my favorite but I just can't anymore. It's lost me.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

For what it's worth... you're right about Wind Waker. It used to be my favorite but I just can't anymore. It's lost me.

The funny thing about Wind Waker, is I can reason out why I hate it and others like it. One major point is I hate sailing, but I can understand how others would enjoy it, or even love it. I could break it down further, but I hope that gets across the gist of it.

In other news I'm actually having an issue trying to talk about this stuff on a discord I'm apart of.

Because of how my brain works, it is indeed like you say and my brain has to make sense of the variables. ALL OF THEM. So it seems like to them I'm obsessing over things.

I'm trying to get across that "No, that's just how my brain works" but I don't think they are getting it. They are suggesting things like: "Just go do something else, take your mind off of it. Don't worry about it." They even quoted MSTK 3000 "Hey it's just a show you should really just relax"

And I'm not sure they are getting that it's not how it works with my brain. Yeah I could go watch something else not related to the like the issue I had with P.T. but that only can at most push the information about that issue and the issue itself to the back of my mind. It doesn't go away, it's just momentarily held at bay.

Nine times out of ten the moment I stop doing that my brain just picks right back up on it. Like it goes: "Okay now back to business. What is this? How do we solve this?" It's a LOT easier for me to just solve the stupid equation and file it away then it is to let it sit unresolved and try to ignore it.

 

[Shadewing]

I'm trying to get across that "No, that's just how my brain works" but I don't think they are getting it. They are suggesting things like: "Just go do something else, take your mind off of it. Don't worry about it." They even quoted MSTK 3000 "Hey it's just a show you should really just relax"

My mind can be like this as well; not to the same degree as you; but damn if my mind isn't like a hungry dog with a bone when it gets into this mind set. I get no peace of mind until I've done something about it; for me that usually means typing my thoughts out, either on a blank doc, or to someone willing to let me rant at them. Usually once I've gotten it out of my brain to something else I can relax, becuase i can share that or not. But it mostly just a means of me processing it somehow rather then continuing overthinking it.

 

[MEDdMI]

Yeah, imo forums are better for taking info and digesting it, rather than a faster paced chat room with lots of people on at once. I just can't keep up with large servers. Typically, by the time I'm ready to post, the convo shifted.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

My brain does something similar, but it's more of a goblin thing. It's usually not about figuring something out or processing my thoughts. I don't actually learn anything. It's more... okay we're hoarding information about this today. Don't know why. We gotta. Collect it. Save it. Not online? Buy book. Take notes. Save it. We gotta.

Days, weeks, or months later I finally stop and never look back, and the information just sits there occupying space on my hard drive until it dies.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

Cons on having a brain like mine: I was actually trying to think of a good analogy to present them. I got the idea of: Okay imagine instead I'm actually paralyzed from the waist down, and I NEED to achieve a goal which is to enter a door. The issue is the door is at the top of some stairs, and there is no wheelchair ramp/access. You are basically asking me to do just that under those conditions. It's not possible for me to do that.

EXCEPT. The moment I thought that, my brain went: "But... if you can use your arms couldn't you just lower yourself from the chair, crawl up the stairs and eventually through the door?"

Which isn't the POINT brain. >_< But now that I've logged that information I can't ignore it. The odds of someone else suggesting that are probably very low, but it's not zero and thus I can't use it because if someone DOES actually say it, that'll mean I'll have to figure out how to explain it to them possibly another way and I don't want to do that. I'd rather just have it said and done right now.

(The answer is likely to say paralyzed from the NECK down, and that should counter it completely. At the very least I can't think of any way that would be possible without help from others. I doubt I'm even going to really use this analogy but hey. If I did I have an idea of how to present it now.)


Pros of having a brain like mine:
I watched this:

I was like, hey that's a fun song, nice visuals. Rarity just going around with outfit magic. Probably just her imagination, but wouldn't that be funny if it was real? Could it have side effects? What if since she's doing female clothing, it only worked with giving female clothing? So if a guy got hit they'd end up in a dress. That could be funny. But what if we take it a step further? What if instead it turned the guy into a girl? I could have a male teacher become a teenage girl and have a story about how this character would handle that, how it'd be for him to go from a grown man to a teenager of the wrong sex, what crazy antics could come from that, and...

I should write this all down...

 

[Videomaster21XX]

There is one other really big con to having a brain like mine. It heavily has to do with the fact that my brain HAS to make sense of the variables. If it can't, it becomes this persistence and as I've said it's just so much easier to make sense of the issue and be able to file it away so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Luckily I can ignore information about stuff I don't care about. I have no idea how most sports actually work in a rules sense. Good news is I don't care. So I don't have to process any of that information.

You will NEVER hear me talk politics. That's a nightmare of trying to understand details that I can't be bothered with. It'd blow out my brain.

The issue is... if there is something I want to know, but can't figure out. It basically will haunt me. Sometimes in time I can forget about them, or at the very least finally get to a point where I can accept I'll just never know this, and be as of at peace as I can about it.

Some few other things though... they constantly pop back into my head. Crying to be properly processed, but I can't. One thing in particular haunts me and I've always wanted to talk about it in detail, but I've been VERY afraid to, because since my brain likes to track all the variables. There are certain things I feel about this topic that I'm terrified of sharing my thoughts on because I can't help but worry it'll greatly offend or upset some people, and I really don't want to do that.

 

[Destron D-69]

with all this being said, have you looked into actually getting tested?

 

[Videomaster21XX]

with all this being said, have you looked into actually getting tested?

No, but mainly because stuff like that costs money. I do want to however.

Also I think I've made a breakthrough. The reason I get so worked up when explaining to things and then 'over explaning' from their perspective is I'm trying to get a reaction I can't because yeah. They don't see it my way because they have a different brain. Seems really damn obvious now.

That's why I keep going because I keep thinking I'm not doing it right. Bah, I feel stupid now.

However, because I tend to over explain things. I am going to point out that "But it comes with a mic" was most certainly said in a manner to make me feel stupid, and I did NOT appreciate that at all.

 

[Destron D-69]

okay I must have missed that part, the thing about the mic... otherwise I'm confused - okay I'm just going to assume only the first line is a response to my post

lol

 

[Videomaster21XX]

okay I must have missed that part, the thing about the mic... otherwise I'm confused - okay I'm just going to assume only the first line is a response to my post

lol

Honestly, it's something dead and buried in the past now. I shouldn't let it get to me, but I'm afraid I'm the kind of person who never really lets go of the times they feel wronged.

 

[Destron D-69]

okay. did i say something about a Mic..years ago? or was I right in guessing you just started talking about something else.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

okay. did i say something about a Mic..years ago? or was I right in guessing you just started talking about something else.

I don't remember who it was, but it wasn't you. It was me basically rambling after answering you. Sorry.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

I didn't even know the PS4 comes with a mic, so I am truly out of the loop on this one.