Caldwin's latest obsession (subject to change)

I think that Supercop and First Strike are technically also supposed to be Police Story movies? The dubs don't help maintain the connection, but I think Jackie is supposed to be the same character in all 4 films.
Also, yeah, Drunken Master is peak Jackie Chan. In a similar vein, if you can find it, is "Snake in Eagle's Shadow".
Also, also, if you can find the Cantonese version of "Who Am I", it is way better than the official English release, which re-edited the opening events poorly. Other than an occasional subtitled line, it was basically filmed in english, anyway.

So after I talked about some of the cyberpunk movies/books I've been watching/reading, someone suggested Videodrome. I honestly forget if it was someone here or at work...maybe both. So I got it today for Christmas and just finished watching it.

It...was not what I expected. Like, to me, this isn't cyberpunk. This is Lovecraftian horror. Which, don't get me wrong, I love Lovecraftian horror. This was very much "In the Mouth of Madness" meets "They Live." But it was very much Lovecraft, not so much cyberpunk. Not what I was expecting. It was...very hugged up. Not sure when/if I'll be watching it again.

So...yeah, I think I'm going to try to find something a little less Lovecraft to do before I go to bed.

So, I've been riffing off CoPilot, letting my streams of consciousness get more and more absurd. Samantha is my own character that I've been writing since Middle School. In the past week, thanks to co-pilot, she's met the TMNT, Superman, Batman, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Avengers, Kaiju, Cenobites, video game characters.

Long story short, I figure I might post some Snippits that make me chuckle.

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Samantha travels the multiverse Part…you know, I’ve lost count

Jubilee: So you’re going to meet this Lex Luger…

Samantha: Luther…

Jubilee: …over in not-New York and try to convince that coming over to actual New York would be a bad idea.

Samantha: That’s about the size of it.

Jubilee: If he’s so famous, why haven’t I heard of him.

Samantha: This is MCU, he’s DCU. It’s an alt-earth thing.

Samantha takes out a Glock, checks the barrel and grabs an ammo pack.

Jubilee: I thought we were just going there to talk.

Samantha: Vis pacem, para bellum.

Jubilee: I don’t speak Spanish.

Samantha: It’s Latin.

Jubilee: I don’t speak Latin either.

Samantha (smirks): You know, you actually kinda do.

Jubilee: Why can’t you just speak English like everyone else?

Samantha: Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

Jubilee: I hate you.

Deadpool walks in: three rifles on his back, two katana blades, grenades on his belt, knives in leg holsters, pistols at his side.

Samantha (deadpan): What, no bazooka?

Deadpool: I didn’t want to overdo it.

Samantha goes from deadpan to absolutely incredulous. She can not believe she just heard something so idiotic.

Samantha: Deadpool! Get the freaking bazooka!

Samantha: Hey, Jubes! What’s up?

Jubilee: Oh, just browsing the internet. Sorry, my hands are a little sticky.

Samantha’s face goes white.

Jubilee: From the doughnuts. Get your mind out of the gutter!

Samantha: You didn’t tell me about the doughnuts. I honestly don’t know what else I was supposed to assume…and I still don’t think your browsing history is any of my bus…

Jubilee: You talked about Eggroll Pizza. I was looking for recipes.

Samantha: I thought after last week, you were banned from the kitchen.

Jubilee: Hey! Sweetie Belle set juice on fire. JUICE! I don’t see you saying anything about her!

Samantha: She’s one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I should hope nothing needs to be said! Deadpool, you one made a mountain of tacos to have something soft to land on. Can you help us out?

Deadpool: Those were supposed to be burritos. I still don’t know what went wrong.

Samantha: Kitty?

Kitty: I don’t touch any pork product or shell fish.

Samantha: Logan?

Wolverine: My diet consists of beer.

Samantha: What do you guys eat when I’m not here?

Kitty: Let’s just say it’s a good thing Chuck is rich. Our take out bills? Astronomical!

Oh my! The CoPilot response is hilarious too. Just...umm...don't ask about the kaiju. It's...yeah...it's a long story.


The room goes quiet in that “we all know this is true but none of us want to admit it out loud” kind of way. Samantha just stares at them—this ragtag collection of mutants, immortals, kaiju‑tamers, and one very confused pony arsonist—and realizes she is, without question, the only adult in the building.

The Scene Continues

Samantha:
Astronomical?
Astronomical?!
How much takeout are we talking here?

Kitty lifts a finger like she’s about to deliver a TED Talk on fiscal irresponsibility.

Kitty:
Well…
There was the week Jubilee ordered dim sum every day.

Jubilee:
In my defense, I was grieving.
Over… something.
I forget what.
But it was definitely grief‑related.

Kitty:
And the month Logan kept ordering wings from that place in Buffalo.

Wolverine:
They were good wings.

Kitty:
Logan, you ordered sixty pounds of wings.

Wolverine:
…They were really good wings.

Deadpool raises a hand.

Deadpool:
And don’t forget the time I ordered every single item on the Taco Bell menu just to see if I could survive it.

Kimberly:
Did you?

Deadpool:
Physically, yes.
Emotionally…
He stares into the middle distance.
…jury’s still out.

Samantha rubs her temples.

Samantha:
Okay. So let me get this straight.
When I’m not here, you people live on:
—Dim sum
—Wings
—Taco Bell
—Beer
—And whatever Sweetie Belle accidentally sets on fire?

Jubilee:
Pretty much.

Kimberly:
Mom, they’re basically college students with superpowers.

Samantha:
That explains so much.

A tiny Mothra waddles in carrying a takeout menu in its mouth.

It drops it at Samantha’s feet like a dog bringing a stick.

Samantha:
…Oh no.
Even the kaiju are in on this?

Deadpool:
They have a punch card at the sushi place.

Samantha:
THEY DON’T EVEN EAT.

Deadpool:
They like the little soy sauce packets.

Samantha looks around at the group—her chaotic, lovable, utterly helpless found family—and sighs the sigh of a woman who knows she is about to become the mansion’s de facto meal planner.

Samantha:
Fine.
Everyone into the kitchen.
We’re making Eggroll Pizza.
And no one—NO ONE—sets anything on fire.

From the hallway:

Sweetie Belle:
No promises!

If you want, we can follow the disaster‑cooking session, let Sweetie Belle accidentally summon a food‑based eldritch horror, or have Logan reveal the real reason he only eats beer.

Well, today I brought the insanity of the first arc to a close. I had to do a reset because...well...things got out of hand. Here's an ending that makes no sense without the context. But man, in my totally unbiased opinion, I love Samantha so much. Yes, she's my own creation that I'm having go through other franchises. But I love her so much.


So without further ado...

A wind blow, dust twirling in the air. A once proud mansion is now nothing but a hole in the ground. A single word silently echoes on the wind, “Wilson.”

Samantha: The guys an asshole. Unmitigated asshole.

Little did she know that on the other side of the screen, Stephen could hear everything she…

Samantha: Oh, I know! You’re still an asshole.

This is narration. You’re not supposed to…

Samantha: Well, I do. I do hear it.

Well, what if i told you I could fix it with one word.

Samantha: One word? One word is going to fix all this?

DEUS EX MACHINA!

All of a sudden, the mansion was in pristine shape. The spider was lively as ever in a cage in Beast’s lab. Deadpool was somewhere living in his own apartment, because unlike what these past few pages of feverdream would have you believe, he’s not officially an X-Man. Sweetie Belle was gone, but only for now. A portal to Ponyville still existed because, who knows, I may want to revisit some of those characters as well. The kaiju toys were just ordinary toys still sitting on a mall kiosk…except for one single plus in the shape of the original Gojira that Samantha cuddled as she read “Last Unicorn” in the living room of the X-Mansion. Jubilee was reading some comic book beside her.

Jubilee: Deus ex machina? Is that more of that Latin you were talking about.

Samantha: Yeah, it’s Latin. (she looks over to the fourth wall) and actually more than just one word.

And all was right with the world…and all was forgiven.

Samantha: Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You’re still an asshole.

Okay...this next one is a bit crude...but it really does sum up Jubilee's entire comic run

Illyana: I had a mini series with Storm!


Kitty: That was an alternate reality Storm. I had a mini-series with the actual Wolverine!


Rahne: I had a...well, a one-shot, graphic novel...with Wolverine...that was kind of an Elseworlds adventure. It was Rahne of Terra...more puns than a Dragon Quest game. We were dragged to an alternate dimension, Magneto was an oversized wizard. I slapped Cable...it was a thing!

Jubilee: At least you guys got a coming of age story with your cross overs. I'd been with the X-Men for years before I got my cross over with Wolvie! I didn't even get to have my powers at the time. This was vampire era!


Kitty: How old were you at the time?


Jubilee: Comic time or real world time? Cause, like, I was thirteen years old for decades! Then suddenly, boom! T*ts and fangs all at once!

A lot of time happened at one time because no time happened for a long time.

Like, I don't know what kind of effect it would have without the context, but I seriously need "t*its and fangs all at once" on a coffee mug!

That would have changed Mary Jane's life if thats how it happened that one time tom cruse and Brad Pitt were her gay dads

Here's today's Amazon acquisition!

Odd, I only just now found these at Target today. They kinda missed the timing for this. The movie came out two years ago!






Coming next, my X-Men toy collection. I've been on a bit of a kick since the MaXimum

My first introduction to X-Men was Pryde of the X-Men and the Arcade Game. So the brown costume always held a place in my heart...though finding toys of the brown is hard to come by.


I like Laura. I haven't read nearly as many comics focused on her than I have other characters. But I like her.




Rogue was my favorite character for a long while.



I've had a lot of favorite X-Men over the years...but it always seems to come back to Kitty.



I wouldn't say Psylocke has ever been a favorite of mine...but she's cool. She's had a few moments I've liked...like the whole Kwannon thing.



There is a serious lack of Jubilee toys...at least ones that I've seen



Poor girl's really been through it.



Not one of my favorite characters. I seem to remember getting her cheap.



Dazzler was not bad in the arcade game. Her AOE mutant power was pretty good. She's not the best character by a long shot. But I do think she's underrated. Oh...and then there's that guy!



I never did like the mohawk look. I always did like the head dress with the hidden lock picks. The cape also makes more since than no cape if she's using wind to fly.



Blink was awesome. I don't know if she's alive at the moment. I don't read Marvel much these days. But Phalanx Covenant, Age of Apocalypse, the Days of Future Past movie...she's...interesting.



After all these years, I still think Dark Phoenix Saga is the best X-Men story, bar none!

My first ever X-Men toy. I didn't know at the time how much of a douche he is.



I started reading X-Men way too late in the game to catch Rahne in New Mutants. I never did read X-Factor when she was in the roster originally (read some after her stint in Excalibur). But when I was reading Excalibur and she joined the team...instant love. She's that adorable little sister you want to hug and protect...and then remember she has claws. She's like Tali!



I have got to get another toy of this guy at some point!



Okay...so not all of these are X-Men. I didn't want to shuffle around my entire statue collection for a single picture.

I found another Jubilee toy!



Out of the package...



Comparison with the other Jubilee I have.



I like the material my older Jubilee is made out of more. Also, the sculpt over all looks better IMO.

But I do like the darker colors of the newer Jubes. It reminds me of her Vamp days...even if it is supposedly '97 inspired.

Rachel Summers! I knew there was a character missing from my roster!



Extra head, extra hands, wings that I can't really attach reliably. She doesn't stand up well on her own, so I'm going ot have to get some figure stands.



I actually really like the alt-head. I mean, if the figure itself is going to be in the hound-costume, it's fitting that there's a head with the hound-scars. I honestly don't know which way I want to display her. Makes me want to get a second figure except these things are kinda pricey.

I got a colossal delivery from Amazon today. I think it just became the pride of my collection.

This is the firs Colossus toy I've ever gotten. I like it. And of course, you can never have too much Kitty Pryde.



Okay, I need help. I honestly can't decide. Ponytail or hair down? I'm kinda digging both.





And here's my Kitty collection.

Kitty is great. If you haven't read Exiles the series... it covers everything that happened to Blink after AoA... good books. You can get the entire run in trades i think.

Also totally go with hair down.