Manic Ramblings and Delerious Ranting, re: Why TF:TM SUCKS!
I have never liked Transformers: the Movie very much, but seeing it this weekend at BotCon brought home to me just what a vast letdown it really is. Be warned, by the time I am done you're going to think this is The Critic posting... I fully intend to shred the Movie to itty-bitty pieces, and I don't just mean because of trivial errors like Sunstreaker being in two places at once.
Someone at BotCon commented that "it's cool because it had Transformers in it." No, the *TV show* was cool because it had Transformers. A *movie* is by its nature something greater, something special, and it should reflect that and be held to a higher standard. For starters, a *movie*, be it a spin-off from a show, a toy line promotion, or otherwise, should be a stand-alone piece of work. It is presented in theaters where it can reach a wider audience who might not see its subject matter on TV or in comics. TFTM fails in this regard. It is never explained what the hell Autobots and Decepticons *are*; instead we jump straight in, throwing first-time Transformer viewers into a confusing succession of rapidly-changing scenes with dozens of characters, many of whom die shortly after being established, only to be replaced with new ones, and still more new characters (Junkions, Quintessons, Wheelie, Sharkticons) after that. Most of these characters are not developed or explained, nor for the most part do they serve to push the plot along.
Even if you disagree and feel that the Movie is aimed soley at fans of the show who already know what's going on, it pales beside another fact: the basic plot sucks, pure and simple. There are two major plots set up in the first five or ten minutes of the movie: Unicron's existance, and the coming Autobot invasion of Decepticon-held Cybertron.
The first plot point is NEVER EXPLAINED. WHERE did he come from? WHY does Unicron give a damn about Cybertron? WHY does he choose to attack, instead of just going somewhere else? If he's such a menace, WHY have the Autobots never heard of him? In light of the fact that they don't know about him, if he simply by-passed Cybertron he could have continued on his merry way for the rest of enternity. WHY is the Matrix the one thing that he fears? HOW does it affect him? If he can create a whole ship, why does he need Megatron to serve him? Unicron is essentially the king daddy of all plot devices, a giant threat put in soley for the purpose of having a giant threat, without any explanation or relevance to the characters. Worse still, the giant threat is removed by a simplistic application of yet another plot device, the Matrix. No application of wit, force, sacrifice, or intelligence by the characters is involved; the character who just *happened* to have the Matrix just *happens* to be fighting the one character who can open the Matrix, and they just *happen* to be inside Unicron at the time when Hot Rod just *happens* to grab it.
The second plot point is dropped completely and never returned to. The Autobots reclaiming of Cybertron -- in essence, finally winning the war -- is a *major* event in the TF Universe and is a logical thing to make the Movie about. There are other possibilities, but this is the most blatantly obvious one, the one that would best fulfill Transfans hopes and expectations. Properly set up, it could have been the focus of an excellent "heroic struggle against oppression" story. But instead we get a diversionary attack on Autobot city, which primarily serves as an opportunity to get rid of old characters quickly. Later Unicron attacks Cybertron and is destroyed, and all of a sudden a few Autobots are on Cybertron... and the Movie ends. No mention that they've even captured the planet, let alone HOW, considering there were only a dozen or so of them. So what should be the biggest event in the cartoon's story is completely ignored in favor of the artificial and contrived plot device of Unicron.
Turning our expectations isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it leaves the viewer wondering just why the hell we were set up to expect something else in the first place. You didn't really need that first plot to begin with. The set-up of the first two seasons would have been a fine scenario to have Unicron arrive under; it would have required cooperation between the two sides, strategy perhaps -- in short, an intelligent plot.
Furthermore, the second plot point of Unicron is itself never really addressed; instead we get yet *another* diversion, as the Autobots flounder helplessly from one place to another, leaving the viewer saying, "Well, those were pretty pictures, but what does it have to *do* with anything?" By the time we get to Hot Rod and Kup fighting Sharkticons, that is my precise reaction. The only tangential relation that the Junk/Quintessa sidetrips have is that they allow the Autobots to recruit a few allies who prove to be rather useless in the end. These two sets of characters would have been much more better off being relegated to the TV series, if they had to be shown at all.
[And for the record, it is glaringly obvious that the writers of the Movie never had *any* intention of the Quintessons being the TFs' creators. They were just a bunch of funky aliens who hung around on their planet playing mock trial; they were no more interested in Hot Rod and Kup than they were any other prisoner. The Quints as the TFs creators is one of the most abysmal retcons I've ever seen... given their role in the Movie, it is simply and totally unbelievable. On top of that, the Quints should be DEAD! The Sharkticons were right on their tail with the overwhelming advantage of numbers. I cannot believe the characters we saw in the Movie actually survived, let alone regained control of their former charges. Nowhere was it implied that this race was more populous than a few wierdos sitting in their little fortress.]
Also, a few points I've made before, but don't mind repeating: the deaths in the movie were *extremely* poorly handled. The Autobots on the shuttle and in the city more than anything, but several Decepticons also went out without a word. If we've not seen these characters speak -- if we know nothing about them -- who cares if they're dead? All it does is infuriate the fans and confuse non-fans. The Movie did nothing to establish these characters; it simply lifted them from the cartoon and killed them. Consider, what if James Kirk had been killed in the first two minutes of Star Trek: Generations? Say what you will about that film, it did enough to make Kirk a real person to the viewer, so that when he dies at the end, you actually care, even if you've never seen Star Trek before in your whole life. TF:TM did nothing of the sort for any of the characters except Optimus Prime, and maybe Starscream (who went out with a fine sense of having gotten his come-uppance.)
Seriously though, I feel like the film does make an effort to setup the basic framework of what's going on - and at the very beginning, too.
