Posted 16 February 2018 - 11:46 AM
Posted 16 February 2018 - 11:49 AM
"What's the difference between beer nuts & deer nuts?"
Edited by Paladin, 16 February 2018 - 11:50 AM.
Posted 05 March 2018 - 07:38 PM
Columbo: Yes, ma'am. "Fired", I think, is the word you want.
Leslie: Thank you for straightening Margaret out. I appreciate it.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, it was the only thing I could do. I mean I just can't have you accused of murder on the wrong evidence.
Agent Carlson: Let's understand this one thing. If you start harassing this woman I'm going to take it upstairs.
Lt. Columbo: Um, just one minute, uh, Mr. Carlson. It's like this. This is not just a kidnapping. This is a murder now and I kinda figure that's my department. I'll see ya around.
Lt. Columbo: I didn't think so. Oh, listen, one more thing, Mr. Carlson. She didn't ask how her husband was killed, did she?
Lt. Columbo: That's what I thought.
Lt. Columbo: Isn't it funny how people are different? Now, me, if I found my partner dead I'd never think of opening my letters.
Ken Franklin: But I-I-I just did it to distract myself. I mean you gotta remember one thing. That's a great shock.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, that's understandable. And bills are distracting.
Lt. Columbo: You know what, Ken? I'm gonna tell you the truth. For awhile there I never thought I was gonna get you. Believe me, you had me going in such circles. I couldn't figure it out. Suddenly, I thought of something-- how clever that first murder was-- the phone gimmick, working in late in the office. Brilliant!
Ken Franklin: Are you awarding gold medals today?
Lt. Columbo: Yes! For the first one, not for the second one. That was sloppy. Mrs. Melville, she'd have been very disappointed.
Lt. Columbo: Isn't that weird? What a coincidence!
Brimmer: What's that?
Lt. Columbo: Here a moment ago we were talking about lefthanded people and you're lefthanded.
General Martin Hollister: [aboard the General's boat] I don't see how a man with the name of Columbo, shouldn't he be more at home on a boat?
Lt. Columbo: Must have been another branch of the family, sir. How soon before we land?
Doris Buckner: Roger, I called the Commissioner of Police and he said he'd send over his very best man?
Roger Sanford: [looking at Columbo] Is that a fact?
Lt. Columbo: Well, my wife, she says I'm second best but, uh, she claims there are 80 fellas tied for first.
Lt. Columbo: Listen Paul, do you happen to know the name of the other guy?
Paul Rifkin: I never asked.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, sure. I mean, why would a guy ask his girl the name of the other man.
Lt. Columbo: [looking at film, calls to projectionist] Freeze! [points to screen] There's the flower! Now that's plain as day! Where did it come from?
Alex Benedict: I don't know. What difference does it make?
Lt. Columbo: Well, on the tape at the concert you weren't wearing a flower. Now on this film coming out of Miss Well's apartment, you have a flower. Where did it come from?
Alex Benedict: Are you actually trying to pin this murder on me with, with that?
Lt. Columbo: Yes.
Sgt. Wilson: [nods] I bought this one myself.
Lt. Columbo: You used your own money?
Sgt. Wilson: Well, I wanted to have the best equipment for the job, sir.
Lt. Columbo: You must be a bachelor.
Posted 23 March 2018 - 08:00 AM
Posted 18 April 2018 - 04:24 PM
Ellie: Man! I shot the hell out of that guy huh?
Joel: Yeah, you sure did!
Ellie: I feel sick.
Joel: Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?
Ellie: Well you're glad I didn't, right?
Joel: I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a damn kid!
Ellie: You know what? No! How about, hey Ellie, I know it wasn't easy but it was either him or me. Thanks for saving my ass? You got anything like that for me, Joel?
Joel: We gotta get goin'.
Ellie: Lead the way!
Joel: I'm gonna jump down there and I'm gonna clear us a path.
Ellie: What about me?
Joel: You stay here.
Ellie: This is so stupid. We'd have more of a hugging chance if you'd let me help.
Joel: I am! *picks up rifle* Now you seem to know your way around a gun. You reckon you can handle that?
Ellie: Well, uh, I sorta shot a rifle before. But it was at rats.
Ellie: With BB's.
Joel: Well, it's the same basic concept. Lift it up. Alright now you're gonna wanna lean right into that stock cause it is gonna kick a hell of a lot more than any BB rifle.
Joel: Go ahead and pull the bolt back. Grab it right there. Just tug it. There you go. Now as soon as you fire, you're gonna wanna get another round in there quick. Listen to me. If I get into trouble down there, you make every shot count. Yeah?
Ellie: I got this.
Joel: Alright. And just so we're clear about back there, it was either him or me.
Ellie (totally sincere): You're welcome.
Ellie: How'd I do?
Joel: *takes away rifle* How 'bout something a little more your size. *hands her a pistol* *hesitates* It's for emergencies only.
Joel: *gives her the pistol*
Yeah, not a terribly funny quote, but a hell of a moment. If you've played it, you understand.
Edited by Caldwin, 18 April 2018 - 04:30 PM.
Posted 01 May 2018 - 09:57 AM
Also, major spoilers for Last of Us
Posted 01 May 2018 - 04:54 PM
If the response is a fusillade of rapid, precise rifle fire, they're British.
If the response is a shitstorm of machine gun fire, they're German.
If they throw down their arms and surrender, they're Italian.
And if nothing happens for fire minutes and then your position is obliterated by support artillery or an airstrike, they're American."
- Sharkshadow likes this
Posted 07 May 2018 - 01:54 PM
Posted 06 June 2018 - 06:53 PM
...together they sailed upon a crystal starship into the black depths of infinity where the moon shone a path to passion's way.
~From "Tender Warrior" by Fern Michaels, a random old romance novel I got from the bookshelves at work. This line just made me laugh with the way it described the end of the sex scene.
Posted 04 August 2018 - 03:12 AM
"Eh, tha cat's prob'ly fine."
Posted 02 December 2018 - 09:17 AM
Hey! I'm Stan Lee and I'm doing my subtle cameo. This is a DC movie? Oh, gee, I gotta get outta here!
I'm back. I don't care if it's a DC movie, I love cameos.
R.I.P. Stan Lee.
Posted 02 December 2018 - 10:32 AM
"There is nothing as wonderful as a hunger taming food adventure!"
"Does that mean you don't want to?"
"I never said that."
Posted 08 January 2019 - 07:28 PM
"All right, you big dumb peasants, we've located crate NNwhotheshitcares and got the damn thing open. In what will be news to no one, quarians really love garbage. Who-ever belongs to this crate stuffed it full of junk, most of it not even quarian junk. And, good news! We can all rest easy knowing that the Andromeda galaxy will not have to suffer without little girls' tea parties, because there's a whole set of cups and saucers and crap in here, as blue as an Afterlife dancer's ass. Oh, and a case of Horosk straight out of Palaven's cellars. Naughty, naughty mummy and daddy!"
-- Mass Effect: Annihilation
Posted 10 January 2019 - 11:04 PM
Posted 15 February 2019 - 06:00 PM
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users