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@  Arazyr : (21 January 2018 - 01:12 PM)

Something I only just "got" last night: Of course IDW's GB Blackrock is associated with Onyx Prime. Onyx is a black rock.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (21 January 2018 - 07:37 AM)

Bet a lot of military people won't want to work this monday. ;(

@  Pennpenn : (21 January 2018 - 07:27 AM)

It seems sort of intuitive for a lot of people because it's the first day in the week that you're working.

@  Nevermore : (21 January 2018 - 04:54 AM)

Germany considers Monday the first day of the week.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (21 January 2018 - 01:34 AM)

The judge obviously had a more material motive than the one he claimed, there need to be some serious investigation of that case.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 January 2018 - 05:04 PM)

The reason is even worse. :(

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (20 January 2018 - 04:34 PM)

That moron is a shame to his profession.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 January 2018 - 09:34 AM)

I just think a Judge going on and Jury Tampering, trying to make the Jury think a sex taffiker is innocent is sickening. *won't say why he did that as that goes in P&R*

@  Sabrblade : (20 January 2018 - 09:21 AM)

Heh, the schedules for my work weeks begin with Saturday

@  wonko the sane? : (20 January 2018 - 07:01 AM)

Thing about the US is... you can say that any time you want as much as you want. You're still going to get shot, but it might not be because you said that though.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (20 January 2018 - 02:20 AM)

You just did.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 January 2018 - 02:18 AM)

Can I just say that right now... I hate the USA?

@  NotVeryKnightly : (20 January 2018 - 01:34 AM)

There are languages where the days are named for numbers and Sunday is "one". Like Arabic.

@  Pennpenn : (20 January 2018 - 01:31 AM)

Isn't it sort of a religious thing for Sunday to be the start of the week but most people just go with the first day they go to work for the week?

@  unitremover : (20 January 2018 - 01:02 AM)

I feel like I've known plenty of Americans who'd say Monday is the first day of the week.

@  Pennpenn : (20 January 2018 - 12:57 AM)

Personally Monday will always be the first day of the week for me. The notion that Sunday is somehow the first day of the week seems completely nonsensical to me.

@  Pennpenn : (20 January 2018 - 12:57 AM)

I'm fairly sure it is in Australia, but that tends to get blurred because of US influence.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (20 January 2018 - 12:19 AM)

(It's Sunday here in the U.S.)

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (20 January 2018 - 12:18 AM)

Anyone here live in a country where Monday is considered the first day of the week?

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (19 January 2018 - 08:40 PM)


@  Patchouli Kn... : (19 January 2018 - 08:38 PM)

But do they search barf?

@  BlackMax : (19 January 2018 - 08:38 PM)

Under water, the fish don't stink.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (19 January 2018 - 07:42 PM)

I read that at first as "Everyone is a fish...."

@  TheMightyMol... : (19 January 2018 - 06:08 PM)

Everyone has a fetish, I guess.

@  BlackMax : (19 January 2018 - 05:56 PM)

I parsed it as "search barf" at first.

@  Nevermore : (19 January 2018 - 05:05 PM)

Robowang nude hiden cam photos

@  Robowang : (19 January 2018 - 02:54 PM)

Oh, hey, that's not the search bar! Whoops.

@  Robowang : (19 January 2018 - 12:48 PM)

reflector camera mode

@  MEDdMI : (19 January 2018 - 12:14 PM)

But did you get a Snowbombcyclopsragnarokdoomstorm like the US NE got last week?

@  Nevermore : (19 January 2018 - 11:40 AM)

Netherlands? We got one hell of a storm here in Germany the other day too.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (19 January 2018 - 01:59 AM)

When that happens in Cocoa Beach there's always someone getting out their surfboard.

@  CORVUS : (19 January 2018 - 12:04 AM)


@  Telly : (18 January 2018 - 10:29 PM)

holy hug

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (18 January 2018 - 06:27 PM)

Goddamn look what happened to the Dutch this week.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (18 January 2018 - 06:27 PM)


@  Locoman : (18 January 2018 - 03:43 PM)

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand brick and mortar.

@  siccoyote : (18 January 2018 - 04:31 AM)

Who sings the first part of the GIJoe The Movie theme song? (Cobra) Sounds so familiar.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (17 January 2018 - 10:46 PM)

Also true.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (17 January 2018 - 10:40 PM)

I hate brick and mortar stores around here.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (17 January 2018 - 10:38 PM)

But I like the feel of the brick and mortar search a bit more. And I can see inside packages at brick and mortar. True, Amazon has a good return policy, but I like buying once and settling.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (17 January 2018 - 10:37 PM)

I suppose I could save more if I bought more often from Amazon.

@  wonko the sane? : (17 January 2018 - 10:36 PM)

Closest I got to "free" was 30% off warpath, which just about lined him up to the canadian price had he ever shown up around me. The pile of loot saved me a pile, but it was still pricy.

@  Shrug : (17 January 2018 - 09:34 PM)

Yeah, I purposefully waited on them because I knew they'd be perfect "add onto orders to get free shipping" fodder. Already gotten two that way. Technically "free" and I barely had to wait.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (17 January 2018 - 09:21 PM)

That's how I feel about Prime Masters. Getting back into collecting last year taught me to be patient, which grants rewards most of the time.

@  Shrug : (17 January 2018 - 09:18 PM)

I want Starscream so hard after seeing him in person, but since he's the one being left behind by every other collector in my area, I feel like I can wait for a sale.

@  wonko the sane? : (17 January 2018 - 09:09 PM)

I mean: I maybe woulda jumped on starscream if I found a sale or something, but it wasn't a priority.

@  wonko the sane? : (17 January 2018 - 09:08 PM)

I only wanted the dinobots (cause... volcanicus.) but got saddled with three I didn't want due to the bundling. I'd still be waiting to order if I had waited on individual figures.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (17 January 2018 - 08:27 PM)

Ahh.. I just ordered the whole case cause I wanted too. :)

@  wonko the sane? : (17 January 2018 - 06:49 PM)

Mostly PotP dinobots. Plus some stuff I couldn't opt out of to get those dinobots. And CW warpath... cause he was on sale.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (17 January 2018 - 04:54 PM)

What ya getting?

Transformers: Primus

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7 replies to this topic

#1 (Deactivated) Jackscarab

(Deactivated) Jackscarab
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Posted 03 July 2011 - 12:34 AM

Hello. I?m so new here, I made an account just to post this.

My friends and I have been into Transformers for a very long time. We enjoy the mythology, the universe, and the characters. And so the Michael Bay movies were a series of gut-punches to us.

Today, fueled by boredom, I thought ?What the hell, I could write a better Transformers story than the movies presented.? And so over the span of ten hours, interrupted repeatedly by customers at the park gatehouse where I work, I wrote a screenplay for one.

Well, not an entire one. Just the opening act of one episode in the kind of Transformers series I would enjoy watching. I showed it to my friends, and they were impressed enough that they asked me to share it with the rest of the Internet. So, here it is.

I titled it ?Transformers: I Could Do It Better Than Michael Bay,? but if I were of a mind to not be a smart-alec about it, I would call it ?Transformers: Primus.?

Bear in mind, it lost a bit of the script formatting in the copy/paste.




The Canadian Rockies stretch to the horizon, still and stunning. An eagle passes through our view, flaps once or twice, and suddenly DIVES to avoid an F-35 LIGHTNING II fighter jet SCREAMING past.

The jet has no pilot. Regardless, a stern yet haughty voice speaks up: that of STARSCREAM, Air Commander.

Starscream to Ark Prime. I?m on approach vector.

A gruff, hardworking voice answers over the comm after a requisite BEEP. The speaker is RHINOX, who we?ll meet shortly.

Keep a holding pattern, Sentinel?s still buggy after the quake.

What?! Is the deception field--

A huge, old, partially rusted sign stands at the end of a mountain path. We only see its featureless back. Starscream passes above it.

--Don?t worry, we can?t be spotted. But the auto-guns might not register you as friendly.

The sign reads, in very serious letters above a stick-man running from a rockslide: ?UNSAFE GEOLOGY HAZARD! SEVERE RISK OF LIFE!? Below the unlucky stickman is the same message written in French.

I am at no risk, Rhinox. You forget to whom you are speaking.

Starscream flies along, still without a pilot.

Just don?t blow them up again. The humans almost heard it the last time.


Starscream accelerates, heading straight for a random mountain.

We follow him closely on a collision course.

Entering perimeter.

Good luck.


Before our eyes, Starscream crosses an invisible boundary into a decidedly non-mountainous air space. He passes tall, thin mechanical towers maintaining the illusion around:

ARK PRIME, a very large, windowless, visibly undamaged spacecraft, sitting comfortably in an even larger stone platform that is a decapitated mountain.

AUTO-GUNS lining the top and sides of the craft lift and rotate in the same direction.

Starscream heads right for them.

Sentinel, stand down!

The guns OPEN FIRE, shooting streams of blue energy bullets skyward.

Starscream does a barrel roll and evades the heat.

Confound that system!

The energy bullets keep going --

And SPLASH harmlessly against the inside of an invisible dome in the sky.


Dozens of tiny blue lights flare over a totally nondescript mountain.


Starscream performs dazzling aerial acrobatics to avoid the bullets while heading for the spacecraft.

Despite his efforts, a pair of shots HIT him on the underside of a wing, leaving scorch marks.

D?aaah, the Pit with it!

Starscream TRANSFORMS in midair and plummets with his momentum. His robot mode is lithe and thin, armed most obviously with a left-arm cannon made of his jet thruster, which he FIRES at us --

Striking an auto-gun with a parts-spraying EXPLOSION. He drops into the smoke and LEAPS off the side of the ship --

Falling and FIRING twice more, left and right, at two more auto-guns --

Which EXPLODE in turn.

He TRANSFORMS to jet mode and his fans BLOW downward fast enough to catch his fall. His thruster IGNITES and he SHOOTS into a wide-open side-bay door, auto-guns firing at his wake.


Starscream flies in, TRANSFORMS again and lands on his feet in a SKIDDING crouch. He comes to a stop and SNORTS.



Starscream storms down an all-metal hall, lit by a glowing white line in the ceiling.

REMEDY, a shorter, round-edged female Cybertronian with an apparent ground-vehicle mode, walks into view from an adjoining hall and stops to salute him.

Oh. Welcome back, Air Commander.

Starscream SHOVES past her without breaking stride. Remedy glares at him.

One side, Remedy! And get the paint ready again!


RHINOX, a bulky brown and green Cybertronian with layered armor textured like leather, works a control console. A door HISSES open behind him and he flinches from sudden volume.


Oh Primus, here we go?.

Starscream storms across the bridge as two huge double-blast-doors slide shut.

What good is a defense grid if I must defend myself against it?!

The hexagon-shaped room features twelve control seats, two to a side, with a round central ?comm table? at which Rhinox sits. A hologram above the table displays the whole base, with three auto-gun towers highlighted red.

Sorry, but seismic disturbance is a pain. It agitates the energon conversion core, and when that happens, the whole ship hiccups.

Then get engineering to fix it!

Rhinox thumbs at himself.

I am engineering now. Orion began his observation shift yesterday and Wheeljack still has twenty years on his.

Skeleton crew. Yet another foolish policy of our aging Prime. I trust he?s not in another reverie?

Not anymore.

SENTINEL PRIME, big and broad-shouldered yet fading in his paint, enters the bridge at an elderly yet upright pace. He sounds old and hard, but his expression is perpetually tired.

Who could commune with our lord with your bellowing resounding in the halls?

Hah. Still spry enough to rise so quickly, Great Sentinel Prime?

Sentinel gives a deep, ancient SIGH like wind in a cave.

Still. Come, Starscream. Tell me what transpires in the world.

Starscream makes a shooing motion at Rhinox. Rhinox rises from his seat, leaving Starscream to take it and remove a black rectangular box from a compartment in his arm.

As you wish, O Prime. I bring much news indeed.

And how much of it was from Soundwave?

Be silent, beast.

Starscream inserts the black box into a slot in the controls.

The hologram above the table blinks out, replaced by a loading image of two moons circling Cybertron.


New York is as we?ve always known it: busy, crowded, and loud. Famous landmarks are unchanged, but the rebuilt World Trade Center is complete. HOMELESS MEN gather on the street. Starscream narrates throughout.

Human civilization remains stable, if strained. The more fortunate nations continue to enjoy technological prosperity, albeit without uniformity.

(to himself)
Bugger it. I told ?em?.


Tokyo bustles at night under urban electric glow.

The state of that technology, however, has advanced greatly.


Hundreds of HUMANS are packed into an indoor auditorium. A massive screen behind a stage shows a logo reading ?OVER-ARCH TECHNOLOGY? as a human SCIENTIST leads a short, Asimo-like robot onto the stage. The crowd APPLAUDS.

After countless attempts, humans are finally at the precipice of creating artificial life as adept as they are.

The scientist backs away and nods to the little robot.

The little robot takes off running --

Does two forward flips before launching into an airborne somersault --

And LANDING HARD on its face.

The crowd erupts with LAUGHTER and flashing cameras.

The scientist looks mortified. The robot?s arms move jerkily.

Flaws and all.


A titanic collection of solar arrays stand in the Australian outback. Millions of mirrors focus light on dozens of central towers.

Not only that, but their ingenuity has finally begun to solve their global energy crisis.

Seen from further above, the array of arrays glitters brightly in the sun.

The total output of this solar array amounts to nearly one whole energon cube. And humans have built dozens like it!


Somewhere in the world where plains stretch from horizon to horizon, thousands of wind turbines turn.

Not to mention the great fields of wind-harnessers,


Dozens of long segmented floating pipes undulate with the waves of somewhere-or-other at sea.

Or the floating wave-farms constantly at work upon the ocean!


Starscream gestures dramatically at the hologram as it cycles through footage of other wind, water, and solar farms.

Never before has humanity amassed such a wealth of energy! Never before have they attained such technological skill! And all of it, all of it by themselves!

Sentinel Prime scratches his chin, having taken a seat. Tracks inlaid on the floor suggest that all the seats on the bridge can move to the center table.


Starscream SLAMS his thin hands on the table. Rhinox, seated nearby, lifts an eyebrow-equivalent at him.

More than intriguing, Sentinel Prime, compelling! It is time! Time to reveal ourselves!

Sentinel?s weathered hand balls into a fist on his chin.

We must be patient, Starscream.

Patient? Patient?!

Wouldn?t hurt to be quiet, either.

Starscream takes a deep breath, pinches the space between his eyes and gets a grip on himself.

We have observed human civilization for ten thousand years, Prime.


A blocky mud-brick ziggurat stands in a mud-brick city dotted with trees. A buzzard alights on a tree.

We have been in their cities.

The buzzard regards its surroundings with camera-iris eyes.


An ancient Egyptian tills soil behind a pair of oxen.

We have been in their farms.

The oxen glance at each other, roll their eyes and shake their heads slightly.


A boom-box sits impassively on a nightstand by a My Little Pony toy as a TEENAGE GIRL reads a magazine in bed.

We have been in their homes!


A SOLDIER in Russian Army gear leans out a window, points a rifle down at us and FIRES several times.

We have been in their hands!


Modern airplane passengers sit quietly and enjoy their flight.

They have even been inside us!


Sentinel Prime rests his face in his hand and taps his cheek, weathering the argument across the table.

But now that they are at last worthy of recognition as fellow sapients, you would have us observe still more?

I would, Starscream. It is our purpose, our very function as the first Cybertronians in this arm of the galaxy. For did not our lord Primus say, at the very moment of our creation, ?Go forth and learn??

Starscream sourly ejects the black box and the hologram returns to a view of Ark Prime.

We have learned enough. It is time to go forth.

Until they are truly ready to learn of us, we cannot interfere. To act too soon would be an affront to Primus.

But just imagine what the humans could do if they had but a fraction of our knowhow!

I have imagined that. It has given me insomnia.

Starscream sticks the box back in his arm.

Then lie and worry, priest. I will return to my duties.

Starscream turns on his heel and heads for the double-sliding-door out of the bridge.

Sentinel SIGHS cavernously again. Rhinox shakes his head. Off-screen, the doors HISS open and shut.

He?s been observing the war-fighters too long.

Warriors. Civilians. Scarcely a difference, when ambition drives the human species.


Starscream storms down the hall. Remedy stays to one side this time and lets him pass.

Paint?s ready--

--Save it!

(pause, mutters)


Starscream exits the bay doors at a run, TRANSFORMS to jet mode and FLIES away.


Starscream GRUMBLES to himself. We hear a COMM BEEP and, in short order, the mechanical flanged voice of SOUNDWAVE.

Starscream to Soundwave. Patch me to Ark Minor.

Connection established. Proceed.


A voice-wave pattern moves to Starscream?s voice.

Starscream to Lord Megatron.

The pattern floats in the air, projected above a black, rectangular, boardroom-like comm table. A high-backed chair, a very commanding command chair, moves on a track to the head of the table. We can?t see its occupant yet in the dim light.

Sentinel Prime disagreed, of course. The rusted old fool is fully content with study for ten more millennia.

Two index fingers tap in front of a smiling mouth. They belong to MEGATRON.

Pity he won?t live ten more days.

The bridge is a pentagon, as opposed to a hexagon. The control panels are larger than in Ark Prime, and stuck in the five corners. The biggest is at the ?top? point, behind Megatron?s seat. The other four are clearly manned.

Surely you had a look inside, Starscream. How many remain at Ark Prime?

The main lights in the room come from the control screens. Silhouetted against them are huge round-edged LUGNUT, thin spiky TARANTULAS, wide-bodied STRIKA, and boxy long-armed BROADSIDE. We?ll meet them all in due time.

Only three. The mechanic, the nurse, and the old gearbox himself. The rest are out ?observing? like good little scholars.

Megatron smiles.

Excellent. Ever so trusting in the protection of his god.

The four shadowy Cybertronians CHUCKLE amongst themselves. Tarantulas CACKLES, for preference.

Starscream?s voice pattern somehow looks sinister close-up.

How shall we proceed, Mighty Megatron?

Megatron rests his elbow on an armrest and his face on a fist. His vehicle mode is difficult to determine, but it seems to involve treads and a big shoulder-mounted cannon.

I will pay him a personal visit. It pains me, but if he cannot see the true value of humanity, we will need a Prime who does.

I couldn?t agree more, my lord. Incidentally, I hear his son Orion returned to observing the humans only yesterday.

Kill him.

#2 LBD "Nytetrayn"

LBD "Nytetrayn"


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Posted 03 July 2011 - 12:46 AM

*ahem* Welcome to the Allspark; we have fun and games.

With that out of the way: interesting, intriguing stuff. I don't think we've ever really seen the war break out at the outset of a show before, Beast Wars aside. Usually just flashbacks... this is a cool twist.

Not sure how well the religious aspects would fly, for obvious reasons. And speaking of which, not sure about the name, either; "Transformers: Primus" hews a little close to "Transformers: Prime."

That is, of course, simply speaking on the proposed TV show aspects of it. As it is here, it works fine.

It reminds me a bit of past series, too. A bit of Infiltration and Masterforce, with the look at how integrated they are into our society and having watched over us for millenniums, respectively.

Some nice characterizations, too, though I imagine many conform to their namesakes from prior episodes. Though in Megatron's case, I'm unsure of which one that would be.

I wouldn't mind seeing more, and seeing a full-fledged story with this could be cool.

--LBD "Nytetrayn"

Edited by LBD "Nytetrayn", 03 July 2011 - 12:46 AM.


#3 Rust


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Posted 03 July 2011 - 04:58 PM

Impressive. Very nice work. icon-ironhide.gif

Numbers 24:17

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Plato

#4 Freddycon

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 04:50 AM

This looks way frickin' cool!

#5 (Deactivated) Jackscarab

(Deactivated) Jackscarab
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Posted 08 July 2011 - 01:31 PM

Thanks for replying. I'm glad you guys like it.

After some thought, I decided to rename it to Transformers: Deception. I also went and wrote a show bible compiling my ideas.

The background and world information is here.

Here are the Autobots.

Here are the Decepticons.

And here are some notes on Cybertronian tech.

Now, for the time being, I'm done.


#6 JLBarnett

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 04:16 PM

well I liked the story but the synopsis not so much. Never been much for father/son stuff in TF and I am so so tired of humans as pawns of the bad guys stories.

#7 Noisemaker

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 06:23 PM

I REALLY like it. Hope you write more.

#8 Otaku


    The Repentant Fool

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 11:35 AM

I haven't had time to look up your supplemental materials, but as a whole I enjoyed this little "teaser". Most of what I didn't enjoy comes down to what irks me about Transformers in general: inflated ages and exaggerated green technology. icon-primal.gif

Still, I am glad that the Decepticons so far seem to be less inclined towards conquest of the humans than an official "first contact" with them. I've long felt that Decepticon xenophobia so often displayed was there mostly because "they are the bad guys" and the fact that the Decepticons would be quite formidable with legitimate human allies. I'd better reign it in before I go on at length: watch me cover something in your story Bible like it was my own idea. icon-wildride.gif
If you're reading this, I'm still trying to come up with something better.