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@  Evac : (27 April 2017 - 03:35 PM)

But aside from the ending Trent and Siph made for them at FunPub, the 3H Wreckers comics kinda sucked.

@  Evac : (27 April 2017 - 03:34 PM)

That's what the 3H Wreckers comics kind of did, actually.

@  wonko the sane? : (27 April 2017 - 03:30 PM)

So, what? The maker of the makers kinda thing?

@  Bass X0 : (27 April 2017 - 02:55 PM)

My fanon is both the Quintesson and Primus origins. They're compatible.

@  Rycochet : (27 April 2017 - 02:37 PM)

I prefer the profile book/movie interpretation of the Quintessons, a race whose entire purpose is to capture and execute those who escape Unicron.

@  Noideaforaname : (27 April 2017 - 02:03 PM)

I like the Quintesson origin partly because it's a twist on the robot revolution cliche, partly because of the irony of a people uniting against their own creators just to fall into endless civil war, and mostly because i just really like the Quintessons themselves.

@  Diecast : (27 April 2017 - 12:03 PM)

I preferred the Primus origin until it became the more common origin, fiction wise.

@  ▲ndrusi : (27 April 2017 - 11:08 AM)

Since the analogy to humans isn't perfect, it could also be interpreted as closer to "maternity ward."

@  Locoman : (27 April 2017 - 11:02 AM)

I think the most unfortunately named Transformer in their society would probably be Hot Spot, which is like having a human named "Placenta."

@  Locoman : (27 April 2017 - 11:02 AM)

Confusing, I bet.

@  Noideaforaname : (27 April 2017 - 10:58 AM)

I wonder what everyday Transformer society is like where half the population are named after common objects and stuff...

@  TheMightyMol... : (27 April 2017 - 10:53 AM)

I bet Gears hates this.

@  Noideaforaname : (27 April 2017 - 10:18 AM)

Naturally occuring gears! (hey, if bugs can do it...)

@  Evac : (27 April 2017 - 10:00 AM)

They're both better than the Primus origin.

@  unluckiness : (27 April 2017 - 09:56 AM)

The Allspark sucks. I much prefer the quintessons origin.

@  Dracula : (27 April 2017 - 07:23 AM)

I hate the allspark! That's why it's been the only TF forum I've bothered with for almost 10 years!

@  Robowang : (27 April 2017 - 07:13 AM)

As much as I pick on us, that's a really big reason why I like it here too. Plus the traffic isn't so heavy that anything you post gets lost in five minutes.

@  Rycochet : (27 April 2017 - 06:00 AM)

The Allspark is one of the first Transformers sites I've been to where there's no weird hero worship of the staff or two or three staffers who are weirdly aggressive about certain transformers related topics and never fail to show it. This is probably the first site in my near two decades in the fandom I can post and not feel I'm a few steps away from falling afoul of some unwritten rule that will cause people to pile on, so yay Allspark.

@  LBD "Nyt... : (27 April 2017 - 05:31 AM)

*pops in* "Hm, I wonder where the conversation has gone since last night..." *reads* "...huh. I did not see any of that coming."

@  MEDdMI : (27 April 2017 - 05:26 AM)

*apart!

@  MEDdMI : (27 April 2017 - 05:26 AM)

This board has provided me with the only RP campaign that didn't fall a

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (27 April 2017 - 05:17 AM)

So what? We're disciples of Primus and they're disciples of Unicron?

@  lastmaximal : (27 April 2017 - 04:26 AM)

I'm really not surprised.

@  Nevermore : (27 April 2017 - 04:16 AM)

Well, the users over on TFW in return accuse the Allspark of being an elitist clique that ostracizes everyone who doesn't act like they do (i.e. civil), whereas TFW is more welcoming to everyone regardless of their views.

@  Pennpenn : (27 April 2017 - 03:23 AM)

Hard G. I don't give a solitary shit what the creators call it, the first word in the acronym is "Graphical". I have no idea why they'd think any sane human could, would, or should pronounce it any other way.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (27 April 2017 - 03:13 AM)

I acknowledge what the creators say, but whether I remember to use their pronunciation or not is hit or miss. Heck, I think I usually think of it in my head as "gee-i-ef", in parallel to "JPG" and "PNG".

@  Waspinator : (27 April 2017 - 02:50 AM)

Let's heat things up: what are everyone's opinions on how GIF should be pronounced?

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 11:11 PM)

But I will say that a lot of fandom forums are generally more tolerable nowadays because most belligerent types stick to Facebook groups

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 11:09 PM)

I do like their hard no-politics rule. Now that I do the occasional freelance writing for some local politics and I like zero percent of it my hobby space now. But holy cow, do they replace it with neck beard drama.

@  LordGigaIce : (26 April 2017 - 10:30 PM)

like Noideaforaname I posted on TFW for a while. I came here after I got harassed for daring to suggest that Play With This Too was run by unoriginal hacks, and yeah. This place so much more preferable.

@  Nutjob R/T : (26 April 2017 - 10:15 PM)

And you're turning us on

@  Nutjob R/T : (26 April 2017 - 10:15 PM)

The terrible secret of the Allspark: We all have this twisted fetish for rational thought processes

@  lastmaximal : (26 April 2017 - 10:13 PM)

Not everyone likes everything, and people aren't blind to shortfalls or annoyances resulting from constraints of how the brand is handled. We make many a joke out of these things. But it's a rare thing when entitlement replaces logic on here, where that seems to be poster raison d'etre everywhere else.

@  lastmaximal : (26 April 2017 - 10:11 PM)

It's utterly weird how these here boards seem so impervious an oasis when it comes to that depth of idiocy. Worshipping 3p and demanding the official companies "step it up" and stop being so lazy? Insisting the movies be done THEIR way, crapping on every single thing revealed about the films or toyline, then whining that they can't find (insert hot movie to here) or the official release of a movie figure doesn't capture the look in the film they hated? Etc

@  lastmaximal : (26 April 2017 - 10:09 PM)

It's not even a "brand pissing contest" or "board loyalty" thing, not least due to the fact that those don't really even happen here all that much. I'm just happy to be with levelheaded people who've outgrown the usual fan dumb tropes. You can have a civilized conversation here and people don't shit on things only to hide behind "but but but to each their own right?" when their myopic BS is challenged.

@  lastmaximal : (26 April 2017 - 10:07 PM)

With each time nonsense like this flares up on tfw or on local discussion venues (and it does quite a bit) I'm just reminded of why I've essentially been allspark bound for the last... Fifteen or so years.

@  Noideaforaname : (26 April 2017 - 10:07 PM)

On the plus side, tho, TFW has "appreciation threads" for practically everything, even stuff like Kre-O and PCC. And their toy database is quite handy.

@  Noideaforaname : (26 April 2017 - 10:03 PM)

I've been happily posting on TFW for years. Then, after being *here* for a few months, I look back and wonder how the hell I even bothered with it. I mean, my ignore list had hundreds of people on it. Literally HUNDREDS of ignored people. I even showed off said gargantuan list once (with a small thumbnail that you couldn't read any of the names on, mind you). That... that really should have been a warning sign, I suppose...

@  WorkbenchManiac : (26 April 2017 - 08:03 PM)

Thanks, I enjoyed reading the nerdrage. I should hang out over there more often.

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 07:07 PM)

I mean, Reveal Your Shield. That gets complained about too.

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 07:04 PM)

One of the reveal the shield news threads at TFW has movie fans and G1 fans arguing over who has it worse

@  WorkbenchManiac : (26 April 2017 - 06:49 PM)

You got me awfully curious. What thread ware we talking about?

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 02:17 PM)

That was a quality read. Both sides of that thread's argument went pretty crazy.

@  Noideaforaname : (26 April 2017 - 02:11 PM)

"When Beast Wars made Optimus a monkey nobody complained" ~ someone desperate for a 'gotcha'

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 02:05 PM)

I want to find the rock they've been under that there isn't constantly complaining about something.

@  Diecast : (26 April 2017 - 02:04 PM)

For the lack if a better word, it baffles me when someone starts a discussion somewhere that's like "Does anyone else not like the movies?"

@  TheMightyMol... : (26 April 2017 - 12:13 PM)

Careful, it might have something to say about that.

@  MEDdMI : (26 April 2017 - 12:13 PM)

I'm gonna have to check your opinion out real good to make sure.

@  TheMightyMol... : (26 April 2017 - 11:55 AM)

Oppinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, but mine is better so shut up.

@  ▲ndrusi : (26 April 2017 - 11:08 AM)

To clarify on point 1 since I was typing early in the morning again, "you must hate exactly what I hate" and "you msut like exactly what I like" aren't actually the same statement but they're the same thought process which is "my opinions are objective facts." If you see someone espousing one, they're probably thinking the other, too.


Transformers: Primus


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7 replies to this topic

#1 (Deactivated) Jackscarab

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Posted 03 July 2011 - 12:34 AM

Hello. I?m so new here, I made an account just to post this.

My friends and I have been into Transformers for a very long time. We enjoy the mythology, the universe, and the characters. And so the Michael Bay movies were a series of gut-punches to us.

Today, fueled by boredom, I thought ?What the hell, I could write a better Transformers story than the movies presented.? And so over the span of ten hours, interrupted repeatedly by customers at the park gatehouse where I work, I wrote a screenplay for one.

Well, not an entire one. Just the opening act of one episode in the kind of Transformers series I would enjoy watching. I showed it to my friends, and they were impressed enough that they asked me to share it with the rest of the Internet. So, here it is.

I titled it ?Transformers: I Could Do It Better Than Michael Bay,? but if I were of a mind to not be a smart-alec about it, I would call it ?Transformers: Primus.?

Bear in mind, it lost a bit of the script formatting in the copy/paste.


---


FADE IN:

EXT. ROCKY MOUNTAINS - DAY

The Canadian Rockies stretch to the horizon, still and stunning. An eagle passes through our view, flaps once or twice, and suddenly DIVES to avoid an F-35 LIGHTNING II fighter jet SCREAMING past.

The jet has no pilot. Regardless, a stern yet haughty voice speaks up: that of STARSCREAM, Air Commander.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Starscream to Ark Prime. I?m on approach vector.

A gruff, hardworking voice answers over the comm after a requisite BEEP. The speaker is RHINOX, who we?ll meet shortly.

RHINOX (V.O.)
Keep a holding pattern, Sentinel?s still buggy after the quake.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
What?! Is the deception field--

A huge, old, partially rusted sign stands at the end of a mountain path. We only see its featureless back. Starscream passes above it.

RHINOX (V.O.)
--Don?t worry, we can?t be spotted. But the auto-guns might not register you as friendly.

The sign reads, in very serious letters above a stick-man running from a rockslide: ?UNSAFE GEOLOGY HAZARD! SEVERE RISK OF LIFE!? Below the unlucky stickman is the same message written in French.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
I am at no risk, Rhinox. You forget to whom you are speaking.

Starscream flies along, still without a pilot.

RHINOX (V.O.)
Just don?t blow them up again. The humans almost heard it the last time.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Bah.

Starscream accelerates, heading straight for a random mountain.

We follow him closely on a collision course.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Entering perimeter.

RHINOX (V.O.)
Good luck.

EXT. ARK PRIME ? DAY

Before our eyes, Starscream crosses an invisible boundary into a decidedly non-mountainous air space. He passes tall, thin mechanical towers maintaining the illusion around:

ARK PRIME, a very large, windowless, visibly undamaged spacecraft, sitting comfortably in an even larger stone platform that is a decapitated mountain.

AUTO-GUNS lining the top and sides of the craft lift and rotate in the same direction.

Starscream heads right for them.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Sentinel, stand down!

The guns OPEN FIRE, shooting streams of blue energy bullets skyward.

Starscream does a barrel roll and evades the heat.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Confound that system!

The energy bullets keep going --

And SPLASH harmlessly against the inside of an invisible dome in the sky.

EXT. ROCKY MOUNTAINS ? DAY

Dozens of tiny blue lights flare over a totally nondescript mountain.

EXT. ARK PRIME BASE ? DAY

Starscream performs dazzling aerial acrobatics to avoid the bullets while heading for the spacecraft.

Despite his efforts, a pair of shots HIT him on the underside of a wing, leaving scorch marks.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
D?aaah, the Pit with it!

Starscream TRANSFORMS in midair and plummets with his momentum. His robot mode is lithe and thin, armed most obviously with a left-arm cannon made of his jet thruster, which he FIRES at us --

Striking an auto-gun with a parts-spraying EXPLOSION. He drops into the smoke and LEAPS off the side of the ship --

Falling and FIRING twice more, left and right, at two more auto-guns --

Which EXPLODE in turn.

He TRANSFORMS to jet mode and his fans BLOW downward fast enough to catch his fall. His thruster IGNITES and he SHOOTS into a wide-open side-bay door, auto-guns firing at his wake.

INT. ARK PRIME ? LAUNCH BAY ? DAY

Starscream flies in, TRANSFORMS again and lands on his feet in a SKIDDING crouch. He comes to a stop and SNORTS.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Rhinox!

HALLWAY

Starscream storms down an all-metal hall, lit by a glowing white line in the ceiling.

REMEDY, a shorter, round-edged female Cybertronian with an apparent ground-vehicle mode, walks into view from an adjoining hall and stops to salute him.

REMEDY
Oh. Welcome back, Air Commander.

Starscream SHOVES past her without breaking stride. Remedy glares at him.

STARSCREAM
One side, Remedy! And get the paint ready again!

BRIDGE

RHINOX, a bulky brown and green Cybertronian with layered armor textured like leather, works a control console. A door HISSES open behind him and he flinches from sudden volume.

STARSCREAM (O.S.) (CONT?D)
Rhinox!

RHINOX
Oh Primus, here we go?.

Starscream storms across the bridge as two huge double-blast-doors slide shut.

STARSCREAM
What good is a defense grid if I must defend myself against it?!

The hexagon-shaped room features twelve control seats, two to a side, with a round central ?comm table? at which Rhinox sits. A hologram above the table displays the whole base, with three auto-gun towers highlighted red.

RHINOX
Sorry, but seismic disturbance is a pain. It agitates the energon conversion core, and when that happens, the whole ship hiccups.

STARSCREAM
Then get engineering to fix it!

Rhinox thumbs at himself.

RHINOX
I am engineering now. Orion began his observation shift yesterday and Wheeljack still has twenty years on his.

STARSCREAM
(grumbling)
Skeleton crew. Yet another foolish policy of our aging Prime. I trust he?s not in another reverie?

SENTINEL PRIME (O.S.)
Not anymore.

SENTINEL PRIME, big and broad-shouldered yet fading in his paint, enters the bridge at an elderly yet upright pace. He sounds old and hard, but his expression is perpetually tired.

SENTINEL PRIME (CONT?D)
Who could commune with our lord with your bellowing resounding in the halls?

STARSCREAM
Hah. Still spry enough to rise so quickly, Great Sentinel Prime?

Sentinel gives a deep, ancient SIGH like wind in a cave.

SENTINEL PRIME
Still. Come, Starscream. Tell me what transpires in the world.

Starscream makes a shooing motion at Rhinox. Rhinox rises from his seat, leaving Starscream to take it and remove a black rectangular box from a compartment in his arm.

STARSCREAM
As you wish, O Prime. I bring much news indeed.

RHINOX
And how much of it was from Soundwave?

STARSCREAM
Be silent, beast.

Starscream inserts the black box into a slot in the controls.

The hologram above the table blinks out, replaced by a loading image of two moons circling Cybertron.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY ? DAY

New York is as we?ve always known it: busy, crowded, and loud. Famous landmarks are unchanged, but the rebuilt World Trade Center is complete. HOMELESS MEN gather on the street. Starscream narrates throughout.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Human civilization remains stable, if strained. The more fortunate nations continue to enjoy technological prosperity, albeit without uniformity.

HOMELESS MAN
(to himself)
Bugger it. I told ?em?.

EXT. TOKYO ? NIGHT

Tokyo bustles at night under urban electric glow.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
The state of that technology, however, has advanced greatly.

INT. AUDITORIUM ? NIGHT

Hundreds of HUMANS are packed into an indoor auditorium. A massive screen behind a stage shows a logo reading ?OVER-ARCH TECHNOLOGY? as a human SCIENTIST leads a short, Asimo-like robot onto the stage. The crowd APPLAUDS.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
After countless attempts, humans are finally at the precipice of creating artificial life as adept as they are.

The scientist backs away and nods to the little robot.

The little robot takes off running --

Does two forward flips before launching into an airborne somersault --

And LANDING HARD on its face.

The crowd erupts with LAUGHTER and flashing cameras.

The scientist looks mortified. The robot?s arms move jerkily.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Flaws and all.

EXT. AUSTRALIA ARRAY ? DAY

A titanic collection of solar arrays stand in the Australian outback. Millions of mirrors focus light on dozens of central towers.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Not only that, but their ingenuity has finally begun to solve their global energy crisis.

Seen from further above, the array of arrays glitters brightly in the sun.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
The total output of this solar array amounts to nearly one whole energon cube. And humans have built dozens like it!

EXT. PLAINS TURBINES ? DAY

Somewhere in the world where plains stretch from horizon to horizon, thousands of wind turbines turn.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Not to mention the great fields of wind-harnessers,

EXT. WAVE FARM ? DAY

Dozens of long segmented floating pipes undulate with the waves of somewhere-or-other at sea.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Or the floating wave-farms constantly at work upon the ocean!

INT. ARK PRIME ? BRIDGE ? DAY

Starscream gestures dramatically at the hologram as it cycles through footage of other wind, water, and solar farms.

STARSCREAM (CONT?D)
Never before has humanity amassed such a wealth of energy! Never before have they attained such technological skill! And all of it, all of it by themselves!

Sentinel Prime scratches his chin, having taken a seat. Tracks inlaid on the floor suggest that all the seats on the bridge can move to the center table.

SENTINEL PRIME
Intriguing.

Starscream SLAMS his thin hands on the table. Rhinox, seated nearby, lifts an eyebrow-equivalent at him.

STARSCREAM
More than intriguing, Sentinel Prime, compelling! It is time! Time to reveal ourselves!

Sentinel?s weathered hand balls into a fist on his chin.

SENTINEL PRIME
We must be patient, Starscream.

STARSCREAM
Patient? Patient?!

RHINOX
Wouldn?t hurt to be quiet, either.

Starscream takes a deep breath, pinches the space between his eyes and gets a grip on himself.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
We have observed human civilization for ten thousand years, Prime.

EXT. SUMERIAN CITY - DAY

A blocky mud-brick ziggurat stands in a mud-brick city dotted with trees. A buzzard alights on a tree.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
We have been in their cities.

The buzzard regards its surroundings with camera-iris eyes.

EXT. EGYPTIAN FIELD ? DAY

An ancient Egyptian tills soil behind a pair of oxen.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
We have been in their farms.

The oxen glance at each other, roll their eyes and shake their heads slightly.

INT. TEENAGER?S BEDROOM ? DAY

A boom-box sits impassively on a nightstand by a My Little Pony toy as a TEENAGE GIRL reads a magazine in bed.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
We have been in their homes!

EXT. BOMBED-OUT BUILDING WINDOW ? DAY

A SOLDIER in Russian Army gear leans out a window, points a rifle down at us and FIRES several times.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
We have been in their hands!

INT. AIRPLANE ? DAY

Modern airplane passengers sit quietly and enjoy their flight.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
They have even been inside us!

INT. ARK PRIME ? BRIDGE - DAY

Sentinel Prime rests his face in his hand and taps his cheek, weathering the argument across the table.

STARSCREAM (CONT?D)
But now that they are at last worthy of recognition as fellow sapients, you would have us observe still more?

SENTINEL PRIME
I would, Starscream. It is our purpose, our very function as the first Cybertronians in this arm of the galaxy. For did not our lord Primus say, at the very moment of our creation, ?Go forth and learn??

Starscream sourly ejects the black box and the hologram returns to a view of Ark Prime.

STARSCREAM
We have learned enough. It is time to go forth.

SENTINEL PRIME
Until they are truly ready to learn of us, we cannot interfere. To act too soon would be an affront to Primus.

STARSCREAM
But just imagine what the humans could do if they had but a fraction of our knowhow!

SENTINEL PRIME
I have imagined that. It has given me insomnia.

Starscream sticks the box back in his arm.

STARSCREAM
Then lie and worry, priest. I will return to my duties.

Starscream turns on his heel and heads for the double-sliding-door out of the bridge.

Sentinel SIGHS cavernously again. Rhinox shakes his head. Off-screen, the doors HISS open and shut.

RHINOX
He?s been observing the war-fighters too long.

SENTINEL PRIME
Warriors. Civilians. Scarcely a difference, when ambition drives the human species.

HALLWAY

Starscream storms down the hall. Remedy stays to one side this time and lets him pass.

REMEDY
Paint?s ready--

STARSCREAM
--Save it!

REMEDY
(pause, mutters)
Slaghead.

EXT. ARK PRIME ? DAY

Starscream exits the bay doors at a run, TRANSFORMS to jet mode and FLIES away.

EXT. ROCKY MOUNTAINS ? DAY

Starscream GRUMBLES to himself. We hear a COMM BEEP and, in short order, the mechanical flanged voice of SOUNDWAVE.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Starscream to Soundwave. Patch me to Ark Minor.

SOUNDWAVE (V.O.)
Complying.
(pause)
Connection established. Proceed.

INT. ARK MINOR - BRIDGE - DAY

A voice-wave pattern moves to Starscream?s voice.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Starscream to Lord Megatron.

The pattern floats in the air, projected above a black, rectangular, boardroom-like comm table. A high-backed chair, a very commanding command chair, moves on a track to the head of the table. We can?t see its occupant yet in the dim light.

STARSCREAM (V.O.) (CONT?D)
Sentinel Prime disagreed, of course. The rusted old fool is fully content with study for ten more millennia.

Two index fingers tap in front of a smiling mouth. They belong to MEGATRON.

MEGATRON
Pity he won?t live ten more days.

The bridge is a pentagon, as opposed to a hexagon. The control panels are larger than in Ark Prime, and stuck in the five corners. The biggest is at the ?top? point, behind Megatron?s seat. The other four are clearly manned.

MEGATRON (CONT?D)
Surely you had a look inside, Starscream. How many remain at Ark Prime?

The main lights in the room come from the control screens. Silhouetted against them are huge round-edged LUGNUT, thin spiky TARANTULAS, wide-bodied STRIKA, and boxy long-armed BROADSIDE. We?ll meet them all in due time.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
Only three. The mechanic, the nurse, and the old gearbox himself. The rest are out ?observing? like good little scholars.

Megatron smiles.

MEGATRON
Excellent. Ever so trusting in the protection of his god.

The four shadowy Cybertronians CHUCKLE amongst themselves. Tarantulas CACKLES, for preference.

Starscream?s voice pattern somehow looks sinister close-up.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
How shall we proceed, Mighty Megatron?

Megatron rests his elbow on an armrest and his face on a fist. His vehicle mode is difficult to determine, but it seems to involve treads and a big shoulder-mounted cannon.

MEGATRON
I will pay him a personal visit. It pains me, but if he cannot see the true value of humanity, we will need a Prime who does.

STARSCREAM (V.O.)
I couldn?t agree more, my lord. Incidentally, I hear his son Orion returned to observing the humans only yesterday.

MEGATRON
Kill him.

#2 LBD "Nytetrayn"

LBD "Nytetrayn"

    Quyzbuk

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Posted 03 July 2011 - 12:46 AM

*ahem* Welcome to the Allspark; we have fun and games.

With that out of the way: interesting, intriguing stuff. I don't think we've ever really seen the war break out at the outset of a show before, Beast Wars aside. Usually just flashbacks... this is a cool twist.

Not sure how well the religious aspects would fly, for obvious reasons. And speaking of which, not sure about the name, either; "Transformers: Primus" hews a little close to "Transformers: Prime."

That is, of course, simply speaking on the proposed TV show aspects of it. As it is here, it works fine.

It reminds me a bit of past series, too. A bit of Infiltration and Masterforce, with the look at how integrated they are into our society and having watched over us for millenniums, respectively.

Some nice characterizations, too, though I imagine many conform to their namesakes from prior episodes. Though in Megatron's case, I'm unsure of which one that would be.

I wouldn't mind seeing more, and seeing a full-fledged story with this could be cool.

--LBD "Nytetrayn"

Edited by LBD "Nytetrayn", 03 July 2011 - 12:46 AM.

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#3 Rust

Rust

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Posted 03 July 2011 - 04:58 PM

Impressive. Very nice work. icon-ironhide.gif

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We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Plato


#4 Freddycon

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 04:50 AM

This looks way frickin' cool!

#5 (Deactivated) Jackscarab

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Posted 08 July 2011 - 01:31 PM

Thanks for replying. I'm glad you guys like it.

After some thought, I decided to rename it to Transformers: Deception. I also went and wrote a show bible compiling my ideas.

The background and world information is here.

Here are the Autobots.

Here are the Decepticons.

And here are some notes on Cybertronian tech.

Now, for the time being, I'm done.

Enjoy.

#6 JLBarnett

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 04:16 PM

well I liked the story but the synopsis not so much. Never been much for father/son stuff in TF and I am so so tired of humans as pawns of the bad guys stories.

#7 Noisemaker

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 06:23 PM

I REALLY like it. Hope you write more.

#8 Otaku

Otaku

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 11:35 AM

I haven't had time to look up your supplemental materials, but as a whole I enjoyed this little "teaser". Most of what I didn't enjoy comes down to what irks me about Transformers in general: inflated ages and exaggerated green technology. icon-primal.gif

Still, I am glad that the Decepticons so far seem to be less inclined towards conquest of the humans than an official "first contact" with them. I've long felt that Decepticon xenophobia so often displayed was there mostly because "they are the bad guys" and the fact that the Decepticons would be quite formidable with legitimate human allies. I'd better reign it in before I go on at length: watch me cover something in your story Bible like it was my own idea. icon-wildride.gif
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