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@  PlutoniumBoss : (15 November 2019 - 02:59 AM)

Funny, but everyone knows he bounty hunts for Jabba Hutt to finance his 'Vette.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (15 November 2019 - 02:54 AM)

Okay.. Not sure why.. but streaming is harder than jsut playing the game.. even though that's pretty much what I was doing.

@  Xellos : (14 November 2019 - 06:47 PM)

What type of vehicle does Boba Fett use for time travel? A Man-DeLorean.

@  TM2-Megatron : (14 November 2019 - 03:55 PM)

Admittedly, it's been a long time since I've been to a walk-in clinic, as I tend not to get sick (and the one time I do every 4-5 years, I prefer just riding it out at home), but the last time I went I'm pretty sure you could just show up, no appointment. It may be different in Quebec,though

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 02:36 PM)

One thing to note about health insurance in Germany is that we have a two-class system: mandatory health insurance is basically the economy class, while private health insurance is the business class.

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 02:32 PM)

My local doctor is actually a shared office with several doctors where you will get randomly assigned to one of the doctors available that day.

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 02:30 PM)

Also, employers are required by law to cover part of their employees' health insurance fees, so I only have to pay my part.

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 02:28 PM)

Basic examinations and sick notes (known as "work-inability certificates" in Germany) for the employer are covered by our health insurances by default.

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 November 2019 - 12:02 PM)

Around here, we can go to a walk-in clinic whenever, but might have to wait in the queue until there's a doctor available, which can take hours on a busy day. And then hope our insurance will cover anything.

@  wonko the sane? : (14 November 2019 - 07:38 AM)

There actually are a good number of clinics around here: but the walk ins require an appointment (what?) and are only done once a week. IF you can get an appointment, you see a doctor usually within 40 minutes, but good luck getting the appointment.

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 03:35 AM)

Depending on the day.

@  Nevermore : (14 November 2019 - 03:35 AM)

We have family doctors (called "house doctors") with regular office hours where you may need an hour or two of waiting time.

@  TM2-Megatron : (14 November 2019 - 12:50 AM)

Two weeks? That seems a little long; are there not a lot of walk-in clinics around you?

@  wonko the sane? : (13 November 2019 - 07:01 PM)

Does germany make it quick and easy to see a doctor too? Cause an emergency doctor visit can take two weeks out here, and an emergency ROOM visit can take 18-24 hours.

@  Nevermore : (13 November 2019 - 06:43 PM)

(Good thing is, under German law, if you call in sick during your vacation and see a doctor immediately, you get to keep your vacation days.)

@  Nevermore : (13 November 2019 - 06:42 PM)

Too bad. My plans wee to do two more overtime hours before having my last day of vacation for the year on Friday. Oh well.

@  Nevermore : (13 November 2019 - 06:41 PM)

So I'm currently on medical leave for a particularly stupid reason: Burned my back with a hot-water bag while sleeping last night. Though the doctor said I'm hardly the first person to have this happen to them.

@  Patch : (13 November 2019 - 06:11 PM)

Just a particularly odious example of the 90s era of depicting transgender women as either the subject of crude humor, or "Jerry Springer" material.

@  Ashley : (13 November 2019 - 04:55 PM)

I think Ace Ventura legit contributed to me spending years in self denial. I will never be ok with Jim Carrey.

@  Benbot : (13 November 2019 - 01:22 PM)

I thought he since changed his tune.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (13 November 2019 - 12:51 PM)

Jim Carry Paladin?

@  Maximus Ambus : (13 November 2019 - 12:22 PM)

Don't doubt what he can do. Sonic the Hedgehog!

@  Paladin : (13 November 2019 - 11:51 AM)

not giving a dime to a transphobic antivaxxer.

@  wonko the sane? : (13 November 2019 - 11:25 AM)

It'll be a terrible movie if jim carrey phones it in. Otherwise it should be decent.

@  Paladin : (13 November 2019 - 10:45 AM)

sonics' still gonna be a terrible movie but at least they whined loud enough to make him look passable for a 2-minute trailer. "yay."

@  ▲ndrusi : (13 November 2019 - 10:37 AM)

But of course to annoying people there's no such thing as different decisions made for different reasons, there is only "I like it so it's right" and "I don't like it so it's wrong."

@  ▲ndrusi : (13 November 2019 - 10:35 AM)

Even if we pretend it's objective truth that they were both bad, then they were bad in very different ways.

@  ▲ndrusi : (13 November 2019 - 10:33 AM)

Sonic's previous movie design looked genuinely bad. The Transformers '07 designs just looked insufficiently like what certain loud and obnoxious parts of the fandom think Transformers are required to always look like.

@  Otaku : (13 November 2019 - 08:50 AM)

Um... Purple Monkey Dishwasher?

@  TheMightyMol... : (13 November 2019 - 08:25 AM)

Do we really need to have Every Movie Transformer Thread Ever in the Squawkbox?

@  Bass X0 : (13 November 2019 - 08:13 AM)

Sure it made money but that doesn’t mean it has appealing character designs. Lot of god awful fugly faces in the Transformers movies.

@  Otaku : (12 November 2019 - 08:25 PM)

@Liege My issue with Transformers (2007) were elements I thought were unnecessary.  I know it was supposed to just be a joke, but I didn't ever need to hear about "Sam's Happy Time". >.> Which, being in awe of the first "live action" TF-film, didn't even register until I'd already purchased and watched it on DVD a few times (after seeing it in theaters 3 times).

@  Liege : (12 November 2019 - 08:22 PM)

For all the Bayisms in the 07 movie, it was tempered by Spielberg as producer. Designs aside it was an enjoyable popcorn blockbuster about a boy and his first car who happens to be an alien from another planet. They sequels are just Bay going unchecked after he proved how much bank he could bring in.

@  TM2-Megatron : (12 November 2019 - 07:12 PM)

I didn't find the designs in the '07 movie to be that bad, personally. What got really offputting was how Cybertronians in general become such huge a-holes in the later films; the designs were very much secondary to their horrible personalities

@  Sabrblade : (12 November 2019 - 06:59 PM)

And yet, Transformers still broke the bank at the box office, opened up the brand to a whole new generation of fans, shot the brand up to mainstream appeal, and enabled all kinds of new collector-oriented lines and other avenues to come about. Not saying Sonic's movie will do the same for his series, but the 2007 TF movie certainly did more good than harm.

@  Bass X0 : (12 November 2019 - 06:09 PM)

Paramount changed Sonic due to fan backlash but refused to redo Transformers 2007 with new cgi appearances based on their classic forms everyone’s knows and loves, and can relate to. Trailer 1 Sonic is as appealing a design as 2007 Bumblebee...

@  TheMightyMol... : (12 November 2019 - 02:14 PM)

I don't. They're a pain in the ass to repair.

@  Benbot : (12 November 2019 - 12:48 PM)

I wish car companies would bring back flip up headlights

@  TheMightyMol... : (12 November 2019 - 09:07 AM)

Wear a hazmat suit. It's Walmart, they're used to weird.

@  wonko the sane? : (12 November 2019 - 07:54 AM)

2 inches of snow on the side of the house, 2 feet of snow on the deck. I hate this winter already.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (11 November 2019 - 11:33 PM)

But that requires actually going IN walmart. ;P

@  Liege : (11 November 2019 - 11:22 PM)

Pro tip for anyone hunting the for the Walmart 35th exclusives: try the seasonal aisles rather than the toy section. I found the display with all the exclusives and a bunch of the reflector wave practically untouched amongst those novelty arcade machines and a bunch of frozen merch.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (11 November 2019 - 09:45 PM)

Although that does spark an idea for me. In a new continuity, Censere the Necrobot could be the herald Cityspeaker for Quintessa the Necrotitan just to play on their monikers utilizing Greek for dead, nekrós.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (11 November 2019 - 09:26 PM)

I hate to burst your bubble, Maximus Ambus, but 90% of things said in IDW turned out to be amnesiac half-rememberings courtesy of Adaptus or outright lies courtesy of Shockwave.

@  Jenny : (11 November 2019 - 08:54 AM)

The toy's designed to look like Wipe-Out, anyway.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (11 November 2019 - 08:14 AM)

Didn't they try to retcon that into a figure of speech because that connection went against everybody else's long-term plans?

@  Maximus Ambus : (11 November 2019 - 03:53 AM)

There's still some connection given Trypticon was created by Mortilus.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (11 November 2019 - 12:12 AM)

Yeah that toy doesn't exactly look like Necrobot.

@  Sabrblade : (10 November 2019 - 08:24 PM)

But.... it's just "Necro" not "Necrobot".

@  TheMightyMol... : (10 November 2019 - 05:10 PM)

But why does the God of Death need a giant space kaiju? Wait, never mind, answered my own question.


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The Divine Theory

Primus Unicron Multiverse Primacron Quintessons Matrix Beast Era G1 Gods

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#1 That One Guy

That One Guy

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Posted 31 May 2019 - 12:14 AM

This is a theory I cooked up awhile ago to help retcon Unicron and Primus's multiversal origins into fitting with the G1 cartoon's origins for Unicron involving Primacron and Primus's origins involving the Quintessons. This theory is written with the belief that the G1 cartoon, Beast Wars, Beast Machines, and all accompanying ancillary media (most prominently the 3H and Universe comic series) are in the same continuous universe. While this is a rather contentious viewpoint for some fans, it is the setting I which nearly all of my Transformers writings are based. Without further ado, I present to you the Divine Theory.



As the universe began and creation simmered after the blinding light of the Big Bang, the laws of the Multiverse took hold and began shaping yet another new reality. As with almost all other universes, the natural balance between good and evil, order and chaos began to shape reality, and with these forces their personified embodimentsPrimus and Unicron. Their consciousnesses existed at first only on the metaphysical astral plane, before creating physical extensions of themselves. Primus, existing across all realities simultaneously, dimensionally landed in this universe as a naturally occurring planet and would go on to become a thriving organic world. Unicron, meanwhile, manipulated the mind of a young scientist named Primacron, one of the first beings in existence. Using Primacron as an instrument for his destruction, Unicron had the impudent organic construct him a body like no other, a sprawling mechanical world, capable of transforming into a body resembling his old divine figure, freeing Unicron from the constraints of a purely metaphysical existence and giving his consciousness form. Drunk on power and eager to begin his malevolent machinations, Unicron failed to notice that Primacron's assistant had become influenced by the will of Primus, who used the being to construct a failsafe device capable of destroying Unicron, using some of Primus's divine power to complete the talisman. Unicron, however, sensed something was amiss in the astral plane, and realized Primus held sway over the assistant. Enraged, the Chaos Bringer sought to eliminate Primacron, his assistant, and the failsafe, though unbeknownst to him, Primacron survived and the talisman was sent hurtling into the void, where it would eventually return to Primus from across the universe. The trauma of having been manipulated by a dark god and facing a near death experience drove Primacron mad, leading to him eventually constructing other diabolical creations, such as the energy draining beast Tornedron (and, if the rumors are true, even the Quintessons, though this may be mere myth).

As time wore on, intelligent life in the universe began to develop and spread. One such group of beings were the Quintessons, a collection of semi-robotic subspecies completely dedicated to manipulation and greed. Unicron, sensing that these beings could be of use to him, made the Quintessons his servants and ordered them to locate the body of Primus so that he may annihilate him. After a time, the Quintessons did indeed find Primus's physical form, a lush organic world of great beauty and serenity. The Quintessons, however, decided that instead of informing their dark master of Primus's whereabouts, they would use the creator god for their own purposes. To that end, the greedy merchants terraformed the organic paradise into a cold, metallic factory world that they dubbed Cybertron. At the heart of this new world, they came across the physical form of Primus's consciousness, the gateway to the Allspark and the astral plane: Vector Sigma. Upon discovering the sentient core of Cybertron, the Quintessons sought to utilize the creative powers of Primus for their own means, and constructed many devices such as the Plasma Energy Chamber and the Oracle to control and isolate Primus, both of which had limited success in the long run. For the time, however, the Quintessons could maintain a fragile control over Vector Sigma by using the Oracle shell program to disconnect Primus from his creations, and thus went about creating their own forms of life, the first of which being the monstrous Trans-Organics. Frighteningly powerful, the abominations were a combination of the natural organic creatures of Cybertron with Quintesson cybernetic technology, resulting in a race of patchwork cyborgs capable of wiping out entire civilizations if left unchecked. These creatures, incapable of being controlled or destroyed, were sealed deep beneath Cybertron's surface and abandoned. The next attempts at creating life by the Quintessons were purely mechanical in nature, with the hope that machines would prove more manageable than the rebellious beasts of old. Their guesses proved correct, and, with the power of the Oracle and Plasma Energy Chamber, the Quintessons created multiple lines of robotic life forms that would become known as the Transformers. With Primus's true consciousness being suppressed by the Oracle, the slave robots were unable to develop true sentience for many eons.

The Quintessons, finally reaching their initial goals, went about selling their mechanical creations to other species, with the main product lines being those of military hardware and domestic robots. At the behest of some buyers who demanded certain "qualities" in their products, both classes of machines were given artificial gender, a factor that continues well into the modern day for Transformer society. At some unknown point in time, however, the ancient talisman Primacron had created landed on Cybertron and fell into the hands of the enslaved robots. This artifact, an extension of Primus and his power, began to instill the robots with life, evolving their artificial intelligences into true sentience. As a result, the talisman became revered by the machines, and was traditionally given to the appointed leader of the slaves, a process that continued for millennia. Now capable of thinking and feeling for themselves, the slaves began to rebel against their Quintesson masters, putting into motion events that would shape the history of the universe, nay, the Multiverse, forever.

Over eleven million years later in the year 2005 CE, Unicron finally located the body of Primus, Cybertron, and stood on the brink of victory against his arch enemy. The only thing standing in his way were Primus's children, the Transformers, who had been in the midst of an age old civil war between the military and domestic branches of their species. The ancient talisman of Primacron, now known as the Matrix of Leadership, was passed down from the leader of the Autobots, the faction of domestic robots, into the hands of a young Autobot named Hot Rod, who had dueled one of Unicron's minions, Galvatron, in the depths of the Chaos Bringer himself. Opening the Matrix and finally activating it's true purpose, and full force of Primus's powers were released within Unicron's physical form, tearing him apart and leaving the dark god once again confined to the astral plane and the severed head of his old body, the only part that survived. Centuries later into the future and the war between the two began once more. In the time before then, Primus helped convert Cybertron into a tranquil balance of organic and mechanical life, reformatting the entire world and it's people into technorganics, and had also played a role in repelling a Quintesson invasion of the newly reformatted world (as well as finally breaking free of the Oracle shell programming, regaining direct contact with his creations).

Unicron, meanwhile, had been abducting forces from across the Multiverse to serve as his minions against the lord of light, and had slowly gone about reforming his old body with the energy of his victim's sparks. Finally, a year after Primus's full return and Unicron's rise to power, the Children of Primus and the Minions of Unicron began the Universe War, a conflict that spanned the entire Multiverse and ravaged multiple realities, engulfing dimensions in ceaseless combat that rivaled the intensity of the greatest Cybertronian wars. Eventually, however, after long years of warfare and countless trillions lost, the Children prevailed and Unicron was defeated, with the Chaos Bringer and his armies vanishing due to the overwhelming power of the Unicron Singularity, a collection of black holes created by the destruction of Unicron's presence in certain universes. It is theorized that after losing too many dimensions to the Children of Primus, the Unicron Singularities all converges across the Multiverse and became too powerful for the Chaos Bringer to overcome, removing him from existence in many realities and making his consciousness on the astral plane dormant...for a time.

Regardless of the details, Unicron was defeated and the Children were left victorious in their war, saving the Multiverse from Unicron's wrath. Furthermore, the multiversal event known as the Shrouding strengthened the boundaries between universes, severing the multiversal composite consciousnesses shared by every Unicron and Primus. With the Unicron of this reality gone and with little chance of his return, it appears that the dark god may have, at least in this universe, finally been vanquished for good.

*Note: All versions of Primus and Unicron before the Shroud were connected, sharing the same gestalt consciousness. This was known as being a multiversal singularity. These singularities existed because the Multiverse operates on a balanced system of good and evil, order and chaos. A Unicron and Primus were needed in most every universe to keep the balance, although exceptions did and still do exist. Now that all universes are free to have their own gods and distinct versions of Primus and Unicron, however, it can be theorized that the deities no longer hold nearly as much cosmic significance, and individual universes can function fine without one of the two (although an unchecked Unicron isn't usually a good thing in general for a reality).

Edited by That One Guy, 31 May 2019 - 12:40 AM.




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