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@  TheMightyMol... : (15 July 2019 - 01:33 PM)

So, welcome to all retail, everywhere.

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 01:24 PM)

Oh, and Greenpeace also conducted a protest at a German Amazon facility, to protest against Amazon's practice of throwing customer returns in the trash.

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 01:17 PM)

Right, because with Amazon, it's just the employees that have to step in dog shit while having no space to breathe.[/slightexaggeration]

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (15 July 2019 - 01:03 PM)

At least I can use Amazon without losing the ability to breath or step in dog shit.

@  RichardT1977 : (15 July 2019 - 12:58 PM)

Considering that Amazon is the new Walmart...

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 12:39 PM)

All of my best wishes go out to the brave women and men who have the balls (and ovaries) to go on strike at an Amazon facility in the US.

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 12:38 PM)

Speaking of. Not only are we in Germany on strike today, but so is the fulfillment center in Shakopee, Minnesota!

@  TheMightyMol... : (15 July 2019 - 12:36 PM)

Overnight delivery is the right of all sentient beings.

@  RichardT1977 : (15 July 2019 - 12:34 PM)

(and is it sexist of me to assume that a character named "Amazon Prime" would be feminine?)

@  RichardT1977 : (15 July 2019 - 12:34 PM)

Whenever she was summoned, she would arrive the next day?

@  NotVeryKnightly : (15 July 2019 - 12:32 PM)

The Scioli and Barber TF vs Joe series mentioned an Amazon Prime.

@  RichardT1977 : (15 July 2019 - 12:22 PM)

Meanwhile I'm wondering why no one's come up with a fan character named "Amazon Prime". I mean, today IS her special day...

@  TheMightyMol... : (15 July 2019 - 11:20 AM)

The Wallet-Eater.

@  unluckiness : (15 July 2019 - 08:44 AM)

Woah. Unicron broke the site.

@  MEDdMI : (14 July 2019 - 10:08 PM)

Is that what kids are calling it these days?

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 July 2019 - 07:33 PM)

Ssshh, you'll get us both "dealt with".

@  RichardT1977 : (14 July 2019 - 07:28 PM)

No, but I did *read* it from you...

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 July 2019 - 03:06 PM)

The first real long-term space outposts belong to the Illuminati, but you didn't hear that from me.

@  RichardT1977 : (14 July 2019 - 02:50 PM)

Er, in SF I mean.

@  RichardT1977 : (14 July 2019 - 02:50 PM)

Yeah, the first long-term manned space outposts have traditionally been mining colonies and the like.

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 July 2019 - 12:19 PM)

Okay, but......do they have to be willing to be sent up?

@  Rycochet : (14 July 2019 - 11:10 AM)

A king isn't a king without subjects.

@  Rycochet : (14 July 2019 - 11:09 AM)

The rich will never flee to space until there's enough an underclass up there so they have someone to do all the jobs they won't. Same reason seasteading never takes off.

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 July 2019 - 10:45 AM)

Do we have to let them come back?

@  TM2-Megatron : (14 July 2019 - 10:35 AM)

Well, it's only going to be the ultra-rich who are able to go for the first couple decades at least, so I doubt anyone's going to care much

@  Nevermore : (14 July 2019 - 10:32 AM)

They could be standing on the surface of the moon, insist they're in the middle of a giant set, and take off their helmet to "prove" it.

@  Nevermore : (14 July 2019 - 10:31 AM)

Assuming these are genuinely convinced conspiracy morons and not just internet trolls, I would assume "not a lot".

@  Nevermore : (14 July 2019 - 10:31 AM)

I wonder how all these recent private and international space travel programs are going to affect those craziacs who insist that the Earth is flat/the moon landing was forged/outer space isn't real etc.

@  wonko the sane? : (14 July 2019 - 09:34 AM)

Well... rory WOULD love a trebuchet...

@  TheMightyMol... : (14 July 2019 - 09:29 AM)

Trebuchets never go out of style.

@  unluckiness : (14 July 2019 - 09:17 AM)

Have you considered a trapdoor spike pit?

@  unluckiness : (14 July 2019 - 09:17 AM)

It's not the worst gift but not evryone may want one given rising fuel prices.

@  wonko the sane? : (14 July 2019 - 08:22 AM)

Is a fire pit too literal for a house warming gift?

@  Noideaforaname : (14 July 2019 - 07:43 AM)

Welp, just realized everyone's been talking about Halle BAILEY this week, not BERRY. (so that's why i haven't been seeing CatFishWoman memes...)

@  MEDdMI : (14 July 2019 - 07:08 AM)

Oh, sounds like fun.I wonder if I have a decent mic lying around.

@  Pinkcolliebot : (13 July 2019 - 07:26 PM)

Casting call for TF Roll Out Shorts! https://www.behindth...y/casting-call/

@  Kalidor : (13 July 2019 - 03:05 PM)

Talking about the show in chat is absolutely fine - posting spoilers on anything that's current season isn't tho

@  Arazyr : (13 July 2019 - 07:05 AM)

Yeah, I'm a season or so behind, so I would definitely appreciate no spoilers. 8^)

@  Sabrblade : (12 July 2019 - 10:21 PM)

Still, though, yeah, we do have a thread for the show. Best to use it.

@  Sabrblade : (12 July 2019 - 10:20 PM)

I think Nevermore once said he was a few episodes behind, so I don't think he's talking about tonight's new episode.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (12 July 2019 - 09:53 PM)

Yeah, you realize we have a designated thread for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., right?

@  MEDdMI : (12 July 2019 - 09:35 PM)

Not that I care about the show, but I'd be pretty annoyed about spoilers there. Please post it in a thread.

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 06:05 PM)

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. The opening of the episode was a deliberate play with clichés, but unfortunately, the rest of the episode that's played straight is also riddled with them...

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:45 PM)

Also, why are they so pissed that Deke built a start-up company? What would they have preferred - him continuing being a freeloader?

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:44 PM)

But now everyone keeps picking up the idiot ball. Geez.

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:43 PM)

That's what I always loved about the show - creative ways to play with tropes and subvert them by making the characters smarter than your typical fictional character doofus.

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:43 PM)

Why is everyone suddenly genre-blind?

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:42 PM)

Wasn't it just last season when Mack was so super-genre-savvy that he insisted on NOT SPLITTING UP?

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:42 PM)

And again, too many characters acting like idiots.

@  Nevermore : (12 July 2019 - 05:41 PM)

Seriously, Agents of SHIELD? Now you're straight ripping off "Alien"?


The Divine Theory

Primus Unicron Multiverse Primacron Quintessons Matrix Beast Era G1

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#1 That One Guy

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Posted 31 May 2019 - 12:13 AM

This is a theory I cooked up awhile ago to help retcon Unicron and Primus's multiversal origins into fitting with the G1 cartoon's origins for Unicron involving Primacron and Primus's origins involving the Quintessons. This theory is written with the belief that the G1 cartoon, Beast Wars, Beast Machines, and all accompanying ancillary media (most prominently the 3H and Universe comic series) are in the same continuous universe. While this is a rather contentious viewpoint for some fans, it is the setting I which nearly all of my Transformers writings are based. Without further ado, I present to you the Divine Theory.

As the universe began and creation simmered after the blinding light of the Big Bang, the laws of the Multiverse took hold and began shaping yet another new reality. As with almost all other universes, the natural balance between good and evil, order and chaos began to shape reality, and with these forces their personified embodimentsPrimus and Unicron. Their consciousnesses existed at first only on the metaphysical astral plane, before creating physical extensions of themselves. Primus, existing across all realities simultaneously, dimensionally landed in this universe as a naturally occurring planet and would go on to become a thriving organic world. Unicron, meanwhile, manipulated the mind of a young scientist named Primacron, one of the first beings in existence. Using Primacron as an instrument for his destruction, Unicron had the impudent organic construct him a body like no other, a sprawling mechanical world, capable of transforming into a body resembling his old divine figure, freeing Unicron from the constraints of a purely metaphysical existence and giving his consciousness form. Drunk on power and eager to begin his malevolent machinations, Unicron failed to notice that Primacron's assistant had become influenced by the will of Primus, who used the being to construct a failsafe device capable of destroying Unicron, using some of Primus's divine power to complete the talisman. Unicron, however, sensed something was amiss in the astral plane, and realized Primus held sway over the assistant. Enraged, the Chaos Bringer sought to eliminate Primacron, his assistant, and the failsafe, though unbeknownst to him, Primacron survived and the talisman was sent hurtling into the void, where it would eventually return to Primus from across the universe. The trauma of having been manipulated by a dark god and facing a near death experience drove Primacron mad, leading to him eventually constructing other diabolical creations, such as the energy draining beast Tornadron (and, if the rumors are true, even the Quintessons, though this may be mere myth).

As time wore on, intelligent life in the universe began to develop and spread. One such group of beings were the Quintessons, a collection of semi-robotic subspecies completely dedicated to manipulation and greed. Unicron, sensing that these beings could be of use to him, made the Quintessons his servants and ordered them to locate the body of Primus so that he may annihilate him. After a time, the Quintessons did indeed find Primus's physical form, a lush organic world of great beauty and serenity. The Quintessons, however, decided that instead of informing their dark master of Primus's whereabouts, they would use the creator god for their own purposes. To that end, the greedy merchants terraformed the organic paradise into a cold, metallic factory world that they dubbed Cybertron. At the heart of this new world, they came across the physical form of Primus's consciousness, the gateway to the Allspark and the astral plane: Vector Sigma. Upon discovering the sentient core of Cybertron, the Quintessons sought to utilize the creative powers of Primus for their own means, and constructed many devices such as the Plasma Energy Chamber and the Oracle to control and isolate Primus, both of which had limited success in the long run. For the time, however, the Quintessons could maintain a fragile control over Vector Sigma by using the Oracle shell program to disconnect Primus from his creations, and thus went about creating their own forms of life, the first of which being the monstrous Trans-Organics. Frighteningly powerful, the abominations were a combination of the natural organic creatures of Cybertron with Quintesson cybernetic technology, resulting in a race of patchwork cyborgs capable of wiping out entire civilizations if left unchecked. These creatures, incapable of being controlled or destroyed, were sealed deep beneath Cybertron's surface and abandoned. The next attempts at creating life by the Quintessons were purely mechanical in nature, with the hope that machines would prove more manageable than the rebellious beasts of old. Their guesses proved correct, and, with the power of the Oracle and Plasma Energy Chamber, the Quintessons created multiple lines of robotic life forms that would become known as the Transformers. With Primus's true consciousness being suppressed by the Oracle, the slave robots were unable to develop true sentience for many eons.

The Quintessons, finally reaching their initial goals, went about selling their mechanical creations to other species, with the main product lines being those of military hardware and domestic robots. At the behest of some buyers who demanded certain "qualities" in their products, both classes of machines were given artificial gender, a factor that continues well into the modern day for Transformer society. At some unknown point in time, however, the ancient talisman Primacron had created landed on Cybertron and fell into the hands of the enslaved robots. This artifact, an extension of Primus and his power, began to instill the robots with life, evolving their artificial intelligences into true sentience. As a result, the talisman became revered by the machines, and was traditionally given to the appointed leader of the slaves, a process that continued for millennia. Now capable of thinking and feeling for themselves, the slaves began to rebel against their Quintesson masters, putting into motion events that would shape the history of the universe, nay, the Multiverse, forever.

Over eleven million years later in the year 2005 CE, Unicron finally located the body of Primus, Cybertron, and stood on the brink of victory against his arch enemy. The only thing standing in his way were Primus's children, the Transformers, who had been in the midst of an age old civil war between the military and domestic branches of their species. The ancient talisman of Primacron, now known as the Matrix of Leadership, was passed down from the leader of the Autobots, the faction of domestic robots, into the hands of a young Autobot named Hot Rod, who had dueled one of Unicron's minions, Galvatron, in the depths of the Chaos Bringer himself. Opening the Matrix and finally activating it's true purpose, and full force of Primus's powers were released within Unicron's physical form, tearing him apart and leaving the dark god once again confined to the astral plane and the severed head of his old body, the only part that survived. Centuries later into the future and the war between the two began once more. In the time before then, Primus helped convert Cybertron into a tranquil balance of organic and mechanical life, reformatting the entire world and it's people into technorganics, and had also played a role in repelling a Quintesson invasion of the newly reformatted world (as well as finally breaking free of the Oracle shell programming, regaining direct contact with his creations).

Unicron, meanwhile, had been abducting forces from across the Multiverse to serve as his minions against the lord of light, and had slowly gone about reforming his old body with the energy of his victim's sparks. Finally, a year after Primus's full return and Unicron's rise to power, the Children of Primus and the Minions of Unicron began the Universe War, a conflict that spanned the entire Multiverse and ravaged multiple realities, engulfing dimensions in ceaseless combat that rivaled the intensity of the greatest Cybertronian wars. Eventually, however, after long years of warfare and countless trillions lost, the Children prevailed and Unicron was defeated, with the Chaos Bringer and his armies vanishing due to the overwhelming power of the Unicron Singularity, a collection of black holes created by the destruction of Unicron's presence in certain universes. It is theorized that after losing too many dimensions to the Children of Primus, the Unicron Singularities all converges across the Multiverse and became too powerful for the Chaos Bringer to overcome, removing him from existence in many realities and making his consciousness on the astral plane dormant...for a time.

Regardless of the details, Unicron was defeated and the Children were left victorious in their war, saving the Multiverse from Unicron's wrath. Furthermore, the multiversal event known as the Shrouding strengthened the boundaries between universes, severing the multiversal composite consciousnesses shared by every Unicron and Primus. With the Unicron of this reality gone and with little chance of his return, it appears that the dark god may have, at least in this universe, finally been vanquished for good.

*Note: All versions of Primus and Unicron before the Shroud were connected, sharing the same gestalt consciousness. This was known as being a multiversal singularity. These singularities existed because the Multiverse operates on a balanced system of good and evil, order and chaos. A Unicron and Primus were needed in most every universe to keep the balance, although exceptions did and still do exist. Now that all universes are free to have their own gods and distinct versions of Primus and Unicron, however, it can be theorized that the deities no longer hold nearly as much cosmic significance, and individual universes can function fine without one of the two (although an unchecked Unicron isn't usually a good thing in general for a reality).

#2 That One Guy

That One Guy

    MaxCop gone rogue

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Posted 31 May 2019 - 12:41 AM

Why do my posts send in duplicates all the bloody time? Someone with privileges please delete this copy.

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Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Primus, Unicron, Multiverse, Primacron, Quintessons, Matrix, Beast Era, G1

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