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@  Maximus Ambus : (28 October 2020 - 01:52 PM)

50/60's Twilight Zone, the 80's, millennium and recent ones also, all are in The Twilight Zone.

@  wonko the sane? : (28 October 2020 - 08:03 AM)

Twilight zone. Duh.

@  -LittleAutob... : (28 October 2020 - 07:52 AM)

Um.... what did I log in on...

@  Paladin : (28 October 2020 - 06:17 AM)

have they actually gotten worse than the one where Homer gets paralyzed by a spider and has to learn to communicate through his farts?

@  unluckiness : (28 October 2020 - 05:53 AM)

It's only fitting that SImpsons have halloween specials since it's been a shambling corpse of its former self since its teens.

@  Maximus Ambus : (28 October 2020 - 04:12 AM)

No I caught one of the latest one with parodies of Stranger Things which admittedly is horror series but Heaven Can Wait and The Shape of Water are Fantasy films. Plus implications of the characters being sociopaths or twisted has become a norm these days.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (28 October 2020 - 02:58 AM)

Which probably adds to the "reasons they should just stop making more of The Simpsons" pile.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (28 October 2020 - 02:58 AM)

You make it sound like The Simpsons becoming less repetitive is a bad thing.

@  Maximus Ambus : (28 October 2020 - 02:48 AM)

Remember when Simpsons Halloween specials parodied horror movies and would have the characters make off out of character remarks like "we chucked donuts at a old man for kicks."? they don't and can't do that any more.

@  Steevy Maximus : (27 October 2020 - 08:00 PM)

Tired of the same old Halloween stuff? Check out Tubi. The depths of the schlock available is astounding.

@  Donocropolis : (27 October 2020 - 11:51 AM)

Not sure if it's news or not, but I'm at Ross right now and they have Masterpiece Movie Ironhide for $24.99

@  Steevy Maximus : (27 October 2020 - 12:45 AM)

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Best Buy exclusive deluxe version is available for $10 as one of today’s daily deals

@  PlutoniumBoss : (26 October 2020 - 08:50 PM)

We can play the "Is it a real headline or an Onion headline" game.

@  Steevy Maximus : (26 October 2020 - 08:22 PM)

It's weird to see how much of Larry Hama's "satire" from the old GI Joe comic has no longer become satire in the past few years.

@  Maximus Ambus : (26 October 2020 - 11:29 AM)

Funny how 2020 gave me new appreciation for Dawn of the Dead 1978.

@  Sukoshiko : (25 October 2020 - 07:43 PM)

@Fenix Twilight Sure. Just not a good one.

@  Fenix Twilight : (25 October 2020 - 04:02 PM)

@Sukoshiko Well his clothes left an impression on you didn't they?

@  TheMightyMol... : (25 October 2020 - 06:09 AM)

I just read "Tesla Cybertruck" like AC/DC's "Thunderstruck", now it won't get out of my head, so I inflict it on all of you as well.

@  Sukoshiko : (25 October 2020 - 12:25 AM)

Tesla Cybertruck: amazing or just silly looking? I can't decide.

@  Sukoshiko : (25 October 2020 - 12:24 AM)

Weird question: I had to deal with a guy today... I'm not exactly up on modern fashions... or even archaic fashions... But this guy... Tuxedo Jacket and shirt, studs in all the button holes except the bottom one, blue jeans, and cowboy boots... Take a moment to imagine that get up. And this was to a business meeting, trying to impress someone. What look is that? Who on earth would dress that way? (I mean on purpose)

@  wonko the sane? : (24 October 2020 - 06:04 PM)

I think the few up here were lost to bad placement, poor weather, and the usual language trap.

@  TM2-Megatron : (24 October 2020 - 04:25 PM)

There are 5 spread around southwestern Ontario, all run by the same company. I've only been to the one in my area, but it seems to do good business even in non-pandemic times. On long weekends, when they do triple features, there's a normally a lineup to get in Friday and Saturday nights

@  Telly : (24 October 2020 - 01:51 PM)

there been one outside of my town for as long as ive been alive at least. its gone through its share of owners and periods of being closed down, but its been open for the past decade at least

@  Otaku : (24 October 2020 - 12:08 PM)

Bias from personal experience, but drive-in theaters are nearly extinct.  I grew up near one but it went out of business in the late 80s, and was torn down and replaced with some other business by the early 90s.

@  wonko the sane? : (24 October 2020 - 07:47 AM)

Out here, I mean. Couldn't comment on their popularity in place where they actually exist.

@  wonko the sane? : (24 October 2020 - 06:44 AM)

I wouldn't know. They've only come back into vogue with the social distancing from the plague, and while some places have made an effort to shoestring the places together, it's all largely too distant to be accessible.

@  TM2-Megatron : (23 October 2020 - 09:46 PM)

I'd hate to see ours replaced by condos. They're a great way to spend an evening, whether with family or on a date. And they've never been as common in Canada as the US, so we cna't afford to lose as many

@  wonko the sane? : (23 October 2020 - 09:45 PM)

Largely they were either poorly placed or bought out and torn down to be replaced by something other than over priced short term parking. Mostly condos.

@  TM2-Megatron : (23 October 2020 - 09:14 PM)

I guess your winters are worse, so they have a shorter operating season. Drive-ins in the Toronto area can usually operate until early or mid-December; maybe even into early January if there's no real snowfall, and open up again sometime in March.

@  TM2-Megatron : (23 October 2020 - 09:13 PM)

THere's really only 1 left in the entire province?

@  wonko the sane? : (23 October 2020 - 09:03 PM)

Ha! It's probably faster for me to drive to your drive in than to make my way to the only one left in quebec.

@  TM2-Megatron : (23 October 2020 - 06:57 PM)

Fortunately we still have a drive-in theatre that's exempt from the closures about a 10 minute drive away

@  TM2-Megatron : (23 October 2020 - 06:57 PM)

Theatres around here are closed again for at least another couple weeks (wouldn't be surprised if it's extended by another month or so, either), but that's what they've been doing here as well. Playing the old classics

@  Maximus Ambus : (23 October 2020 - 02:36 PM)

I got Earthrise Megatron, he's better then I thought he'd be though Netflix Megatron is still tops.

@  Bass X0 : (23 October 2020 - 10:44 AM)

The original Rocky movie is also showing. May go next weekend. That’s how you get people back in the theatres - show the old classics every adult loves.

@  wonko the sane? : (23 October 2020 - 10:35 AM)

They did a limited run showing of it up here too, back when the theaters were open... red zones suck.

@  Bass X0 : (23 October 2020 - 10:13 AM)

The original Back To The Future is showing in the Odeon in the UK now. I think I will go see it tomorrow.

@  Donocropolis : (23 October 2020 - 05:51 AM)

It was either the Bumblebee or Cliffjumper. Can't remember the colors.

@  Kalidor : (22 October 2020 - 06:43 PM)

What did it look like?

@  Donocropolis : (22 October 2020 - 01:34 PM)

I swear I remember getting the Happymeal G1 minibot as a child, but I live 2.5 hours from St. Louis, which is the only place they apparently came out. It's possible that I got it on a family vacation, though, as we went to Six Flags pretty often.

@  ▲ndrusi : (22 October 2020 - 01:07 PM)

Conversely, I had the Gobot helicopter from Wendy's and I was absolutely convinced it was an actual Transformer.

@  Donocropolis : (22 October 2020 - 08:13 AM)

I used to rubber-band Hot-Wheels style construction vehicles together and pretend it was Devestator.

@  Bass X0 : (21 October 2020 - 05:26 PM)

When I was about four years old, my parents bought me Bugbite and tried to tell me it was Bumblebee. I was not yet a fan of Transformers, but I knew that wasn't Bumblebee. I didn't even have the real Bumblebee at that time.

@  Maximus Ambus : (21 October 2020 - 01:39 PM)

It would come with two soundtracks: the eighties classic and one featuring dubstep and the VAs are popular Youtubers.

@  wonko the sane? : (21 October 2020 - 12:13 PM)

But yeah, reading it: I came off as a bit of an ass.

@  wonko the sane? : (21 October 2020 - 11:52 AM)

I just couldn't think of worse music than disco...

@  NotVeryKnightly : (21 October 2020 - 11:35 AM)

What were you trying to imply with the mocking sarcasm, though? Nobody suggested that '80s music was any more "of it's time" than '70s music.

@  wonko the sane? : (21 October 2020 - 11:18 AM)

I said that disco wouldn't fare much better with the same context: media is property of it's time; biases, culture and limitations are all inherent in that. Some stuff can be brought forward because of an inherently timeless nature or the simplicity with which it was made but lots of media is a time capsule of the period of when it was made.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (21 October 2020 - 08:46 AM)

I'm not sure what you're trying to imply, or what you even think I said.

@  wonko the sane? : (21 October 2020 - 08:11 AM)

Yeah, cause disco would make the transition so much better...


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GEBRAIC MALFUNCTION

Transformer History War of Cybertron Cojunx Endura

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#1 846BNW

846BNW
  • Citizen
  • 5 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 05:09 PM

A HISTORY OF CYBERTRON ACCORDING TO BUMPER

 

THE STORY:

BY BUMBLEJUMPER, AUTOBOT PLUMBOT, NOW LOST IN SPACE, EXPECTED STASIS IN .00025 Voorn. I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME! I WILL GO OFFLINE VERY SOON

 

1

 

Once upon a breem, there was a gigantic sun. It was one of the first since the explosion of light and matter known as the {glitch}. So great was this sun that all other suns were dwarfed by it. It is what science-bots call a White Hole.

     Once upon a breem, there was a land in the great black expanse swinging round the Giant Sun. So great was the land mass that it dwarfed all others. Every other sphere was only .000003 times its {glitch}. On this planet, there were life forms. They were called Unicrons. The planet was called Unicron. And there was peace on Unicron. No one had a different opinion. There was peace and prosperity on Unicron. Everyone knew only peace.

     This was until the Margin of Error, the .666 factor dissented, and formed a small contingency on the planet. This group of beings was called the Primal Program. They were so discontent with Unicron that they blasted a small {glitch} from the planet and formed a new one, .0000000000000000002 x the size of Unicron. And this world was called Primus. Its people were called Primons, and their Elder was also called Primon. And Primon loved all the Primons.

     From the Primons came the lesser Microns, who computed and made sure the margin of error stayed within their memory, and did not transcend to the infinity parallel of the rest of the universe. They were unappreciated.

     There were also the Macrons, who worked on maintaining the planet and making sure its physical substance did not exceed the margin of error, and transcend into the infinity parallel of the rest of the universe.

     Now Primus had no sun, and wandered its galaxy for ~200,500.02 vorns, until the Mega Sun exploded, resulting in a second {word not found}. Primus was nearly destroyed. Unicron became a separate intelligence, following the {glitch} of the mega sun, and separating into thirteen different entities. Only one of them remained the titular UNICRON, who sought to destroy all things. One of the others, QUINTESSA, sent envoys to Primus and enslaved some of the Macrons. The people of Primus became known as Gobots, and their home world Gobotron. Or did the Quintessons come first, and make the Primons? This was once a great debate!

 

~7,432 vorns did pass. The Gobots were governed by the titular Cycrons, and ruled by the thirteen PRIMES. These Primes were ruled by a singular entity known as PRIMA, who bore the Matrix, that holy relic. Now all were under Prima’s rule, and only the other twelve bore sentient signatures. The Quintessons had appointed the Primes and the EMIRATE, but were not the ones to use the Matrix to make new Macrons and Microns from recycled SPARKS. The thirteen Primes were the last of the Primons. The knowledge and wisdom of the Quintessons has vanished over the eons.

 

 

 

2

 

Time is short to present my story. I have only .002 brehm to process this data until I go offline for another 4.2 voorns.

 

It is ~18,590 voorns after the Quintessons left Cybertron to its own devices. There are only five Primes now, and their deputies, the CYCRONS. There is Zeta Prime, Destiny Prime, Neo Prime, Alpha Trion, and Sentinel Prime. The Matrix Bearer, though younger than Alpha Trion, one of the first Primes, is seeking a new Matrix bearer, for he is suffering from the rust. There are quite a few Microns on the planet, but they are in the process of rebelling against an authoritarian rule. The Cycron Orion Pax is documenting the failures of the {glitch} that was their judicial system, for our later one was much better.

     Orion Pax is a gestalt, combining two cojunx and two endura. Orion is a cojunx, Pax is an endura, Ariel is a cojunx, and Dion the endura. Their complex gestalt technology would be a force for change in the coming voorns…

 

These things take time. Sentinel passes the Matrix to Alpha Trion and goes offline for several voorns. During Orion’s operating cycle, Alpha Trion saw he had modified the usual couple system which had been normal for all time. Orion=2 enduras; Ariel=2 endura, and so on. So, he was chosen to be the next Prime, but it would mean upgrading his operation cycle to Prime status. He would lose voorns in his life cycle, and would have to make more of his brehm.

 

(The Micron populace was not all Gobots; the Macrons were all Cycrons. Too, the Gobots were either Guardians [loyal to the Primes and the Cycrons] and the Renegades [the first to rebel against the Primal Program.])

 

~42 voorns ago, there was the Destron Virus, which caused Cycrons to malfunction and change their form, either by shrinking or turning into new forms which could not function. As much as Alpha Trion tried to stop them, a wave of new bots came about. They were most concerned about the Microns. Some Destrons were able to function in both modes; and some wanted to harvest the Microns (either Guardians or Renegades) for {power} and {augmentation}. Some just wanted to delete the Primes. Zeta Prime took up the holy relic and declared utter extermination of the Destrons. The Cycrons were programmed to delete all Destron operating systems, whether in the network or those with living sparks. The Microns were caught in the middle. To them, the world was called Gobotron; to the Cycrons, it now became known as Cybertron.

 

3

 

@SANDSTORM: I know I’ll never meet you again, but I love you. All of this is for you, but I want others to read it, too. It is my masterwork… I don’t think I’ll write anything else, especially since I know in only several dozen brehm I will go offline and shrink into subatomic particles… Which brings me to my next chapter! The darkest chapter Cybertron has known…

 

The epidemic reached its zenith on its 80,000th vorn, almost 50 million va. Many went offline, many were changed in {glitch} that took many voorns called shadowplay, where the internal memory drives and signatures, even the sparks of Cycrons would be altered. The Microns either left Cybertron for good or were turned into weaponry to overthrow the Primes.

 

In those days, though I refer to some by their phonetic signatures, each Cycron was a collection of numbers or equations. Such as like Orion Pax, whose signature was 0VPX2. Only the Primes had complex signatures.

 

OVPX2 and many others did not combat the spread of the virus directly, but instead combatted the rust which spread in some areas of the globe or built structures for the overpopulating planet. Alpha Trion had OVPX2 seek out the source of the Destron Virus, which caused the TRANFORMATION glitch. Soon he stumbled upon an ancient artifact, working with his closest programs, called the UNDERBASE. It brimmed with golden energy; OVPX2 became mesmerized by its glow.

 

The Underbase was simplifying and condensing certain quantum particles such as the rare Tachyon and its sister Procyon, called variously graviton particles. He told the Primes about this problem at the core of the planet; Destiny Prime took it upon himself to destroy the Underbase to protect the state of the universe.

 

Much has been lost of the accounts that followed. What is known is the Cycrons died away, and since the aberration which Destiny Prime brought upon the planet and the universe, every Cojunx would live for .42 vorns, and every Endura would live for ~43 brehm. This was the destiny for the races that followed. This event was known as the Warbling. It was thought that the Underbase was, in fact, the brain of Primus, or IA.

 

Sentinel Prime alone kept the Matrix, as Alpha Trion disappeared from History. Sentinel gathered the GUARDIANS and turned them into giant sentinels which would guard the holy places of Cybertron. For hundreds of voorns, the planet repented and went back to how it was under the Quintessons—at least, before Sentinel Prime died. There are legends of Zeta Prime gathering loyal Cycrons, not altered by the Underbase or the Destron Virus, forming his own group of Cycrons called the AUTOBOTS.

 

Every Cycron and Destron received a complex signature. OVPX2 at last was reprogrammed and rebuilt as the Autobot Optronix, and the Cycron Orion Pax or OVPX2 faded into legend.

 

The Destron Virus had been deleted in a matter of brehm.

 

4

 

@SANDSTORM: You are my Endura. I am your Cojunx. But I know I am writing to a scrap heap. You have been offline for a long time. But you are the only thing that kept us functioning for so long. The next chapter is the most heartbreaking, for it is the time when the heat of our sparks dimmed, and darkness spread across the orb of Cybertron.

 

Some 20,000 va, 80% of Cybertron was deathscape. The Destron Virus had been eliminated, but a new race of Cybertronians, emerging from the Cycrons, called the DECEPTICONS, turned their bodies into living weapons, and pledged allegiance to their chief program, {variability error}. They changed their operating systems to be more resilient, and both Decepticon Enduras and Conjunxes would live forever.

 

The Sentinel Guardians and EMIRATE XAARON appointed the first Prime since Zeta Prime, who had died in a civil war. Alpha Trion had vouchsafed the artifact, and bestowed it upon Optronix.

 

The history of Optronix is hazy. Indeed, he had been the full personage of Orion Pax, and his primary program was as a records-keeper at Iacon. But Alpha Trion saw potential in him; shortly before the future leader had been seduced by the Decepticon general MEGATRON.

 

Indeed, Optronix received the Matrix of Leadership and became OPTIMUS PRIME, and with a regale of 24 deputies, nearly ended the reign of terror brought about by the Decepticons.

 

But Megatron and the Decepticons proved to be more of a force than could be handled.

 

I was among them, as were you. Because of the Autobots’ older operating systems, the war happened in a matter of .3 brehm, but the damage was the size of a collapsing star. The result: The Transformers, Autobots and Decepticons; compromised their very existence. Some shrank to subatomic particles, as I will soon. Others went offline, their sparks extinguished, something which did not happen since long before the Warbling, and long before that. Sparks had just been recycled before that.

 

It is this love, this heat, which sustains our Sparks. I am the last of few survivors on Cybertron, as Straxus and many other Decepticon overlords have followed in Megatron’s example, meaning to turn Cybertron itself into a weapon and conquer the entire universe. I fled to find Optimus, for he is the only that can save us.

 

I hope you receive this note. I am naught but an Autobot plumbot, but I wanted to pursue writing while on Cybertron. I know my fate is sealed. Now Cybertron is a tiny marble compared to the sprawling planet it once was, because of the damage the Decepticons did abusing the gravitons for their malicious intent.

 

And finally—

 

[MESSAGE CORRUPTED]

 

846BNW=4422LMN

 

+/- THE EQUATION OF MY SOUL

 

LOVE IS A GLITCH: TITLE

GEBRAIC MALFUNCTION