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@  MEDdMI : (18 April 2019 - 06:27 PM)

while I don't have weekends consistently off, working 2nd shift isn't so bad. I'm more likely to do stuff before work than after (when I'm already tired). Plus no rush hour traffic

@  TM2-Megatron : (18 April 2019 - 05:03 PM)

Switching shifts constantly is never good for one's health. There was a time when I worked overnights steady for about 2 years; did wonders for my health, as well

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:36 PM)

Don't miss early shift (and especially switching back and forth every two weeks) a bit.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:36 PM)

Man, permanent late shift really has done wonders for my overal well-being. Never having to get up early for work, staying up late, weekends off... a ot of my coworkers think I'm crazy, but late shift is really my preferred shift.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:33 PM)

(My total lack of sleep on that day might have contributed, though.)

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:33 PM)

At noon, it was warm.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:33 PM)

On Monday, we went on strike early in the morning, I was also wearing to jackets and gloves and my toes and fingers were freezing.

@  wonko the sane? : (18 April 2019 - 04:31 PM)

Nope, right now my days are doing that. Frigid at night (Well, just below zero, but still.) and warm enough to be always be ill prepared during the day.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:28 PM)

Today it's so warm I had to take a shower to wash off the sweat after a lengthy bike trip.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:27 PM)

This past Friday I was wearing two jackets and winter gloves outside and took a hot bath when I returned home.

@  Nevermore : (18 April 2019 - 04:27 PM)

Is "April weather" an issue in other countries as well, or is that specifically a German phenomenon?

@  PlutoniumBoss : (16 April 2019 - 11:04 AM)

Well, when you understand the history of the area it make sense. It's basically a series of countries buying the place, moving in, saying "we rule you people now", and the locals shrugging and responding, "okay, you have fun with that".

@  Sabrblade : (16 April 2019 - 07:58 AM)

When did we all turn into Henry Higgins?

@  unluckiness : (16 April 2019 - 03:16 AM)

To be fair, most Americans can't get the hang of English, so I can understand why.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (16 April 2019 - 03:15 AM)

(And yeah, Calliope is a Greek muse, not French, but the street was named BY the French when they took over.)

@  PlutoniumBoss : (16 April 2019 - 03:10 AM)

In New Orleans there's a bunch of streets with French names that are pronounced by locals with a more English emphasis, for example "Calliope Street" is pronounced "CAL-lee-ope".

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 11:56 PM)

I figured as much for Canadians.

@  TM2-Megatron : (15 April 2019 - 11:37 PM)

hm; whenever I've heard people talk about the school they said it the same way as the cathedral...but I guess that's in Canada, so they're probably more familiar with the cathedral than the school

@  Dracula : (15 April 2019 - 11:11 PM)

There's plenty of place names in the US like that. Around here we have an "el doh-RAY-doh," and up north there's a Cairo that's pronounced "kay-roh"

@  RichardT1977 : (15 April 2019 - 09:56 PM)

Yeah, the common pronunciation of the University is probably the reason most Americans don't pronounce the Cathedral name correctly.

@  Arazyr : (15 April 2019 - 08:03 PM)

That's my understanding of how the two are supposed to be pronounced as well.

@  Echowarrior : (15 April 2019 - 07:42 PM)

When I'm talking about the cathedral, I say "noh-treh dahme". When I talk about the university, I say "noh-ter dayme". I don't see a problem with that.

@  Paladin : (15 April 2019 - 06:26 PM)

guessing "Hunchback" just got bumped WAY down the list for Disney's live-action remakes...

@  Patch : (15 April 2019 - 05:56 PM)

We all pronounce it wrong, so no one knows enough to care.

@  TM2-Megatron : (15 April 2019 - 05:40 PM)

It'd be odd for most Americans not to know how to pronounce Notre Dame, considering they have a University with the same name that's the subject of a relatively popular film based around a sport most Americans love

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 04:22 PM)

Three or four more hours will be needed to contain the fire.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 04:22 PM)

Update from France 24: the Paris Fire Brigade says two towers and the main structure of the cathedral have been saved from complete destruction.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 03:57 PM)

One does not have to speak French to know that rhyming with "voter name" is off the mark.

@  Locoman : (15 April 2019 - 03:51 PM)

Really? It's an international tragedy and you're zeroing in on the people who maybe don't speak French?

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 03:44 PM)

@Tm_Silverclaw I just read on BBC News that the cause is not yet clear, but officials suspect the fire could be linked to renovation work.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (15 April 2019 - 03:42 PM)

Oh boy, here we go with the U.S.-American newscasters who can't pronounce "Notre Dame" correctly.

@  TheMightyMol... : (15 April 2019 - 03:38 PM)

Too soon to say.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (15 April 2019 - 03:20 PM)

Do we know if it was an attack? Arson? Or just bad wiring?

@  Nevermore : (15 April 2019 - 02:10 PM)

Religion is dead?

@  Paladin : (15 April 2019 - 02:01 PM)

major cathedral burning down on Holy Week is some kind of metaphor.

@  Benbot : (15 April 2019 - 12:54 PM)

Hard to believe a wonder of the world could just be wiped out so easily. Hopefully they can still save it

@  Benbot : (15 April 2019 - 12:51 PM)

Well, Notre Dame is burning down

@  Benbot : (15 April 2019 - 10:05 AM)

yikes I thought the site was going to be down for a while

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 09:07 PM)

So, time for another strike. No sleep for me tonight. Oh well.

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 09:04 PM)

Think Game of Thrones "light" meets Cabaret and you get the idea.

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 09:03 PM)

Kinda sorta, just with more intrigue, conspiracy, depravity, crime and violence.

@  RichardT1977 : (14 April 2019 - 06:37 PM)

So it's like a prequel to Cabaret?

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 04:02 PM)

And man, characters are smoking literally EVERYWHERE.

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 03:27 PM)

Also, full frontal male nudity. (There's been quite a bit of female nudity since episode 1.)

@  Nevermore : (14 April 2019 - 03:26 PM)

Episode 6, and Hitler is randomly name-checked.

@  Xellos : (14 April 2019 - 12:22 PM)

Runa runa!

@  Sabrblade : (14 April 2019 - 09:10 AM)

Wocka wocka!

@  The Doctor Who : (14 April 2019 - 06:59 AM)


@  Paladin : (14 April 2019 - 06:57 AM)


@  MEDdMI : (14 April 2019 - 06:34 AM)

With a trout.

- - - - -

Best of Allpark 2018

113 replies to this topic

#1 Caldwin


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 06:59 PM

I know I'm a little bit early with this, but I work tomorrow and I reeeeeally wanted to get this started.

I lost my house keys a few years ago and I've been homeless ever since.

About Zelda Breath of the Wild

Yeah, it's such an astoundingly realised world. The lightning, heaps of other cool physicsy stuff...

But man, for the rest of my life I will have nightmares about climbing in the rain.

Ha that's nothing I now have a pathological fear of stepping on flowers

Guardians have ruined laser pointers for me.

it should it won 8 Oscars

That's not a good sign.

I'm paying for 90 minutes (give or take) of escapism... I didn't pay $30 to sit there and be marketed to.

Now I'm not saying stuff like JandB whiskey being in the Thing should have been a bottle of RandF that the props department made up... no stuff like that is fine. What I'm against is "lets stop in the middle of Trans4mers and have a scene entirely about Bud lite

I live in a town populated by giant sentient cookies. Owning an oven in this land is a criminal offense punishable by life in prison. Anyone who eats a cookie is sentenced to death.

I will drive through in a milk truck and hose down the populace while cackling like a lunatic. Then shall the feast begin.

I love it when a normal comment spawns something completely unexpected like this.

And that's my quote limit for this post. Will be back with more.
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#2 Caldwin


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 07:03 PM

full of energy, its the mental i'm missing

*watches as Twilight makes an announcement and expects a single announcement to end a long-standing feud* Twilight's an idiot!

Smarts are rarely an antidote to stupidity, sadly.

Damn, there really is just no good way to put a skirt on a horse.

Basically I'm incapable of associating the idea of you naked with sex is what I'm saying

A moment of silence for the joke that was just killed here... v_v

what a greedy bastard

she's a girl

"Bastard" is not a gendered term, despite common usage.

Maybe I've been around TMM's snark for too long, but I interpreted Viola's comment as "of course she's a bastard, she's a girl."

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#3 Caldwin


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 07:05 PM

So I was passing the electronics section at work. A father and son were playing one of the video game demos. Looked like the kid was winning.Father says almost under his breath, "I hugged your mom."Without missing a beat, the kid replies, "I've been deeper inside her than you'll ever be."I managed to make it to the back room before I lost it, but it was close.

Also, the Nintendo cartoons made by DiC has been notorious to most gamers for being some of the worst video game-based cartoons in existence (with examples like Link whining "excuse me, princess", the various pasta puns in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, or Mother Brain sounding like the plant from Little Shop Of Horrors).

I'm confused, because you say the shows are the worst...but only cite examples of why they are the best.

The problem with Mayhem's history is that so many things get blown up, scrubbed, deleted, or outright obliterated that we're solely depending on the collective memory of our oldest posters to retain it.

So in other words, Mayhem's history is hugged.

The kids in the Trix commercials are worse.

I mean, in some of them, the Rabbit literally buys the damn cereal from the store, and the little shits still won't let him have it. What the hell?

"We've made it across incalculable lightyears with our hyper advanced technology which you cannot begin to comprehend, for you see... WE NEED YOUR FOSSIL FUELS!"

"I mean, like, ok, but we can barely make it out of orbit with this stuff."

I mean, you're used to McDonalds, so almost anything is a step up.

It's not so bad being a pessimist all the time. Either I'm right, or I'm pleasantly surprised.

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#4 Caldwin


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 07:08 PM

Why am I not a potential suspect? I mean, it's not like I skewered him with a spear in my own thread. *wipes blood off of spear while nobody's looking*

I really did mean to include you, but it was down to only a few slots and I wanted to squeeze all the staff members in because its inherently funnier if they go to jail for crimes than it would be for the average forum poster.

So Caldwin's more likely to kill people than I am? Seriously? He's the guy who dies all the time!

The one opinion I will never agree to disagree on is 'a hamburger isn't a sandwich' because how the hell is it NOT a sandwich?

It's two pieces of bread with meat and other fillings in between them, that's the basic definition of what a sandwich even IS.

At least it's better then a "Cheese pizza" Seriously if it doesn't have a topping it's not a pizza. Sauce and Cheese are the BASES, they don't count as toppings, you can't really have a pizza without them. >_>

I liked a lot of the options in san andreas, and they smoothed out controls and nicely boosted the graphics for five, but largely it's just not interesting to me. I see enough of that shit on the news every night, I don't want to be mimicking it.

Good going, Static. You talked a pony into submission and made them cry, are you proud of yourself?

Yes...yes I am.

The bartender asked why I carried an axe in a tavern. I replied "Mimics." I laughed, the bartender laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table, it was a good night.

I rarely appear on these lists.

Night Cap is funnier than I am.

My boss asked me why I don't talk much at work. I asked him if he remembers telling kids that if they have nothing nice to say, they should say nothing. He said yes....so I just quietly stared at him for a minute.

And that's mine! Post away!
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#5 tec


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 09:44 PM

Oh man this ought to be a good one this year

Visit my store! Vintage toys (SW/ST/TFs Collectables)


Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that tec has a job? I thought his sole reasons for existence are cheesecake and horrible grammar.-Shadowman024


#6 Gryllid


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Posted 31 December 2018 - 10:39 PM

I mean I just hope Harmony Gold don't try to take me to court over next week's Jetfire episode.

Good thing they used a code name for Bumblebee, otherwise people might have figured out Bumblebee was gonna be in the Bumblebee movie and spoiled the surprise.

Yeah, I'm inclined to think there was definitely a dumb decision that led to the G.I. Joe comic getting canceled, but the decision in question was "let's make a new G.I. Joe comic."

For god's sake, it's 2018, there should be no Prowl - it should be Strongarm, charming, transparent, righting tables everywhere she goes

If you aren't at least as invested after one issue as you were after over a decade of the previous continuity, then it's obviously a horrible failure.

There have never been enough reveals to satisfy the people who complain about not enough reveals. Never.

God dammit, Hasbro, the only thing I ask is that my display of Transformers from the side with their arms straight up in the air look expensive and adult.



In real life the deinonychus came out 30some million years before the T-Rex. I'm glad we didn't have to wait.


#7 videomaster21XX


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Posted 01 January 2019 - 01:44 AM

Holy shit, I'm in this twice? Did I step into the Twilight Zone?

It's a secret to everybody


#8 Foffy


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Posted 01 January 2019 - 03:19 AM

MPM The Twins would be amazing. An expertly engineered, fastidiously screen-accurate pair of illustrations that there is no God.

Not a post, but this was the title of the Mayhem TF thread for a while and it deserves recognition:

My love for you is like a PotP decal, unwanted and definitely not going to last. A Transformers Valentine!

I can't believe Tamagotchi's cost $15.

I know right? I can kill stuff for free!

I think it's weird how when you deprive people of oxygen, for the first minute or so, they'll fight and claw like nuts to get it back, but if you wait a little longer they'll behave like they don't even want it at all.

The most important part of any murder is to have fun and just be yourself.

Everyone's old enough to be dead. There's not a minimum requirement.

Volcanicus has encountered an enemy that no amount of strength will conquer.29540076498_c8c8caeb18_b.jpg

ALPHA TRION VOLCANICUS: Peels off the stickers and puts them back on in the correct arrangement.



#9 Foffy


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Posted 01 January 2019 - 03:23 AM

Imagine a world where plants evolved to walk on their roots like octopuses walking with their arms.

But still no nervous system. They don't know where they're going. They just do.

I'm sure breasts bursting into hundreds of little cyborg spiders is someone's fetish somewhere.

I just keep getting caught by the potato references, since that's how FFXIV players call lalafells.

They look more like little baby people to me.

babies kinda look like lumpy little potatoes anyway, so there's no reason it can't be both

People tend to get more upset when you mash babies, though.

Hell, they seem a little put off by just dressing up a potato and carrying it with you everywhere. And don't even try to breastfeed it in public.

#10 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:10 AM

Alright, since Caldwin got us started and I have the day off work, might as well do the thing.


For 2018 can we finna let that pony shit die?

G5 is supposed to launch in 2019 or 2020.

damn and transformers hasn't even moved past g1



As someone who was born in 1992, what were the 80s were like for those of you who lived through it?



Time also moved much slower than it does now. A week felt like a month.

It was almost twice the size of the present, and God was real and scary.

The Highlander was a documentary, and its events happened in real time.


#11 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:14 AM

I appreciate any reviewer that can keep things under a minute and still fully explain the toy.


If it takes more than a minute to explain a One-Step, you're doing something terribly, fundamentally wrong.

dose he just say " its shit" then credits role? 



I some times get the feeling if I don't post in this topic every once in a while, I cease to exist in Mayhem. So...here...I still exist!

Wanna bet?

:::dumps Caldwin out the airlock:::



What if someone holds your family at gunpoint and demands that you affirm that pineapple is a pizza topping? What will you do?

Hope the GoFundMe for the funerals pans out



I don't know how the scale works.

That's okay, neither does Hasbro.

#12 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:24 AM

Slightly out of chronological order, sorry.


I've really never had much of an interest in cars. Driving is a terrifying experience.

I don't mind driving. Even in terrible weather.

Now, other drivers, that's an entirely different story.

If it weren't for other drivers it would be fine.

My favorite yet was some driver who was eating what looked like a full country breakfast. We were on the highway so he didn't need to steer that much, but come on now.



We sent a patient to the hyperbaric oxygen chamber today. Prognosis is that even with this therapy the power level increase will be insufficient to defeat Cell



"What does the lab test say about her Beta-HCG?"
"It's over nine million!" *crushes lab results paper*

I've always wanted to do that. Even if nobody got it and I got chewed out for crumpling the paper



I will never read the rest of the story. I choose to believe he triumphantly carried the urinal above his head the whole way.





Hey, I have that thing!  It doesn't actually come with a goofy sword, sadly.  It does became Robert pretty well, though.

#13 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:28 AM

i don't belive mario to be an actual doctor, medical training takes years. all he dose is throw pills at things. dr mario, more like Homeopath Mario. 




It looks better but I'm pretty sure that has zero articulation.

Hey pal try living with G1 Broadside for 25+ years


Dude's just a total slob, he never does the damn dishes, he'll change the thermostat when you're not looking no matter how many times you explicitly have the conversation - worst roommate ever





he scream at own ass


You'd scream too if your ass turned Super Saiyan 3



If it turns out that Dennis Rodman saved the world every historian is going to quit. No history book is ever going to be able to explain this.

#14 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:38 AM

apparently i set up a text replacement on my tablet at some point so that typing tod makes it offer to correct that to todokete setsunasa ni wa

When did i do this? why do i even have it when ive memorized the chorus of snow halation anyway?

And why do i have the entire chorus of snow halation memorized, anyway? Why am I like this?



i haven't worn socks in years

they're more trouble than they're worth

You're lucky to live in a place where if you want to go outside, you can just throw on a t-shirt and shorts with sandals.

socks and sandals best of both worlds! 

Destron, nothing personal, but you're going up against the wall when the revolution comes.



had a dream one of you gremlins (READ fnu probably) found my phone number and called me and left a message on my answering machine that was just the word grandus and then 30 seconds of screaming



Ambidextrous is the word your looking for do you even edit?

The weird thing is how the article itself doesn't make that mistake.

The weird thing to me is that tec knows how to spell ambidextrous.

#15 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:46 AM

Our minds have been so deeply and repeatedly boggled over the last couple of years, we're lucky to have any mind left.

You don't, it's why talking to you all is so much more fun now. Now that you're all as crazy as me. :thumbsup



Shitposting is not a game, it's a way of life. Live the shit. Breath the shit. Become the shit.

You merely adopted the shit. I was born in it. Molded by it.



No one plans murder out loud

I do, but now they're all desensitized to it. Exactly as planned.

I'm concerned by how many of these have to do with TMM's homicidal tendencies...



Australia is overrated as far as deadly animals go, since 99% of them are just spiders you can smash with a shoe.

I'd say the US is worse because you can't exactly smash a bear with a shoe.

Not with that attitude

Edited by Patch, 01 January 2019 - 09:46 AM.

#16 TheMightyMollusk


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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:48 AM

I'm concerned by how many of these have to do with TMM's homicidal tendencies...

It's only homicide if they find the bodies.

#17 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:53 AM

Nothing more American than learning Honest Abe 'The Great Emancipator' Lincoln invented the hugging chokeslam.

Honestly the thing that surprises me most about this is that the chokeslam is something people can actually trace the invention of. I wouldve thought that it just sort of happened and no one really bothered to know who invented it



I still blame the Cubs win for the mess were in



Guess who got selected for jury duty...this guy *sigh* my case is not till June though

Just remember, you can't actually feed people to the Sharkticons.



I just cant get over the assumption that all "illegals" come from somewhere reachable by a school bus.

Everywhere is reachable by a school bus if you're brave enough.


My old school never let us get deported!

#18 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 09:58 AM

wonder if theres royal wedding toilet paper like last time? the tea my friends brought back from england was largely disappointing. 

that's because we're americans and we boil water in the microwave apparently

I thought we just shot it with our guns until we kill the not-hot parts and then salute a flag until it's brewed.

Then we take one sip and shed a single tear of freedom while an eagle screams in the distance.




Why is a brand of butter telling you that?

They need to inform you that your butter has updated its privacy policy.



Battle Beasts were pokemon before it was cool.


#19 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 10:05 AM

Donald Duck: the authority on metaphysical truth:



And nobody understood a word of that because Donald Duck talks like Donald Duck.



It's more effort, but make your own pizza, Fnu! A lot of markets/bakeries have pre-made dough. Spank some olive oil on that bad boy, slap it into a pan, put your toppings on and turn on the heat.








I hear their orange drink is great




I don't even get those things. They sort of transform but only halfway and the action features would be doable on a fully transforming, if simplified one. Then they also don't look any better than the warriors in robot mode and cost only slightly less so I'm at a loss as to what niche they're supposed to occupy. They halfass both the gimmick and the transformation in favor of what exactly?

eBay auctions suggest there are a lot of kids out there who like to transform their toys halfway and then give up forever.



Never say that things can't get worse. Unless you're standing in a post-atomic wasteland, covered in fire-ants, dying from radiation poisoning, as the Earth moves closer to the sun, and you look up to see an extinction-level asteroid as it hits the upper-atmosphere, and you can't get "We Built This City" out of your head.




Or when you run out of ketchup and all the stores are closed. Either one works.

#20 Patch

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Posted 01 January 2019 - 10:11 AM

This was the way it looked on the last day that I went into my TRU.

Minus the upside down part. Wtf. Ugh. When I rotate the pic, it tells me its now too large to attach, so whatever.

You just took a photo of an Australian TRU by mistake.  It happens.



Nobody likes lawyers until you need one. But without their services how would you protect yourself from all the other lawyers?

With a battle axe

You've convinced me.


"The Big Bang Theory to end with Season 12"

Can it end with an apology?



No, I'm completely serious. Damn near everything in the 90s got toys.


I had Blastface

They make a cream for that now.

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