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@  TheMightyMol... : (21 July 2019 - 01:23 AM)

Giant Robot Satan has that effect on people.

@  Ashley : (21 July 2019 - 12:31 AM)

So, I might not be able to get Hasbro Pulse Unicron because my mother is afraid of it

@  Pennpenn : (20 July 2019 - 09:58 PM)

But that's neither here nor there.

@  TheMightyMol... : (20 July 2019 - 06:57 PM)

Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 July 2019 - 05:13 PM)

Both maybe?

@  Benbot : (20 July 2019 - 04:44 PM)

Do you need a criminal lawyer or a criminal, lawyer.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 July 2019 - 10:40 AM)

I don't suppose the allspark has any criminal lawyers from Georgia. ;P

@  NotVeryKnightly : (19 July 2019 - 01:17 PM)

It seems like, with these kind of things, anything not TF-specific is either in an existing thread or just not discussed since they're not part of something deemed important enough to get its own thread already.

@  Benbot : (19 July 2019 - 12:45 PM)

Yeah, but it's for Transformers specifically

@  Gryllid : (19 July 2019 - 12:39 PM)

There is. It's called "SDCC 2019 thread"

@  Benbot : (19 July 2019 - 12:24 PM)

no general SDCC thread?

@  Benbot : (19 July 2019 - 12:08 PM)

I never even bothered to see it.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (19 July 2019 - 10:30 AM)

O never hated it, the whole thing was an Indiana Jones movie. I didn't care for the CGI, but that's just nature of the beast.

@  Paladin : (19 July 2019 - 07:58 AM)

sidebar- has enough time passed that we can stop irrationally hating "Crystal Skull" yet?

@  Telly : (18 July 2019 - 09:18 PM)

after 38 years and i dont know how many viewings, today is the first time i noticed indiana jones doesnt use a revolver in the bar fight in raiders...

@  Kalidor : (18 July 2019 - 05:33 PM)

@Sabrblade Depends on when you're here. I used to have the backups happen once daily, now I have them happen once per hour so you might often see a hesitation at the top of every hour for 30-45 seconds.

@  Locoman : (18 July 2019 - 05:11 PM)

isn't that just Modern Family

@  Foffy : (18 July 2019 - 04:45 PM)

that's right. my gym teacher is a clown. new series coming to disney channel next fall

@  Foffy : (18 July 2019 - 04:44 PM)

all these clowns are making me run really fast.

@  Sabrblade : (18 July 2019 - 12:10 PM)

All this awesome SDCC news is really making these boards run slowly.

@  Bass X0 : (18 July 2019 - 07:54 AM)

Racism must be stopped. No matter the cost.

@  MEDdMI : (18 July 2019 - 07:49 AM)

Tine to stop buttering it up.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (17 July 2019 - 09:43 PM)

Well shucks.

@  ▲ndrusi : (17 July 2019 - 08:14 PM)

The joke is a husk of its former self.

@  Paladin : (17 July 2019 - 01:15 PM)

Pop.

@  Shrug : (17 July 2019 - 10:15 AM)

Something something... corn bread?

@  MEDdMI : (17 July 2019 - 07:21 AM)

Ok, ok. Enough of the puns and let's all thank Kal for the amaizeing job he did.

@  Paladin : (17 July 2019 - 06:24 AM)

by now I think this jokes' been creamed.

@  Nevermore : (17 July 2019 - 03:31 AM)

The kernel.

@  Nevermore : (17 July 2019 - 03:31 AM)

Who gives the orders in cybernetic warfare?

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 09:59 PM)

Zea mays

@  Xellos : (16 July 2019 - 09:53 PM)

Isn't that a kernel of truth.

@  Paladin : (16 July 2019 - 08:43 PM)

huh. suddenly the Squawk is popping.

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 07:47 PM)

Not placing much stalk in this conversation.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 06:22 PM)

That's so corny.

@  Shrug : (16 July 2019 - 06:07 PM)

It's absurd how happy I am that a post of mine made the front page of Reddit.

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 05:46 PM)

Aww, shucks.

@  TriBlurr : (16 July 2019 - 05:45 PM)

Not till I taste the corn

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 05:43 PM)

You guys aren't being very nice. You're supposed to tell me I did "good, really good!"

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 05:40 PM)

Just don't go beyond the rows.

@  Patch : (16 July 2019 - 05:39 PM)

Left over from the failed Beast Machines sequel, Beast Farmers

@  Patch : (16 July 2019 - 05:39 PM)

It's techno-organic corn

@  TriBlurr : (16 July 2019 - 05:26 PM)

We have a cornfield? Can I get a few ears?

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:56 PM)

And lastly, if it becomes too much hassle to deal with - it might just get sent into the cornfield and replaced with a Discord box anyway. So cool it.

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:55 PM)

Second thing is we do actually have the ability to ban users specifically from using Shoutbox if it's being abused like that

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:55 PM)

Hey all - just a reminder and heads up. The Shoutbox has been kept here as a courtesy because it's what you folks like in lieu of Discord - but a few things to remember is that P&R should stay in P&R and isn't really something that needs to be dragged out here in the most public of spaces.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 11:04 AM)

Done.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (16 July 2019 - 10:25 AM)

You can make a new one. I doubt anybody would stop you.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 10:16 AM)

There was a thread but it appears to have disappeared. Might have been lost in one of the older forum sweeps.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (16 July 2019 - 09:58 AM)

Yeah this is pretty much circumventing the fact that we have different rules for political talk.


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Depression and Suicide

Depression suicide healing

216 replies to this topic

#61 Fnu Aw

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Posted 05 January 2019 - 11:22 PM

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/


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#62 Cybersnark

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Posted 06 January 2019 - 02:38 PM

Yeah, we all want you to stick around HC.

At the very least, the cynic in me suggests calling on spite as a way to keep going, if just to outlive everyone who ignored you.

#63 CORVUS

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Posted 06 January 2019 - 06:21 PM

Spite can be a powerful motivator.
“She went around with the attitude that she would rather be beaten to death than take any shit.” - Stieg Larsson

 


#64 D Immortalis

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 02:22 AM

Nothing better than outliving your enemies...a few years ago, one of mine had his legs blown off in some kind of fire extinguisher accident, and died about a year later...im evil as hell for saying it was SO satisfying, but it was. now when i say shit like "i wanna die." or "life is killing me", my best friend reminds me thats its one down and infinity to go, so i have to stick around.

 

Also, i really hate this time of year. Its not new years and christmas that bug me, its Valentines day...my birthday. I planned to be gone by 30, because I knew I would only continue to get worse...that's why its no surprise my attempt came in a January. I just cannot stand feeling like im the only one who see whats actually going on. That I get older, I get worse, and nothing ever gets better.

 

Then again lately, my taglne has been "Nothing ever gets better, nothing ever gets worse, its all flat, all even.", Because that how things feel lately...like it doenst matter if theres great things, or horrible things, one balances the other out so that nothings ever really different. No matter how good something is, there something bad on the horizon that will make it moot.

 

This year I flat out cancelled my birthday under one condition: Either my friends and I go to QXTs (a goth club in Newark, nj) Or we do dinner at The Pandorica (the doctor who themed restaurant in beacon, ny). I know I sound like a petulant child, but damnit, I just want to do something fun, instead of just sitting home looking at clothes that could never fit me and getting angry. Or going to the local bar and seeing all the couples having a nice night...im tired of that.SO tired of that.

 

We shall see what the crew decides to do this year...and if we do nothing, atleast ive got a decent backlog of games to play.


_+-=-+DAEMON IMMORTALIS+-=-+_

 

Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#65 Tm_Silverclaw

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 02:44 AM

Those depression hotlines.... almost amuse me.

 

"You've got things to live for?" "Oh I do... Like hugging what? My body is falling apart around me that in a few years I doubt I'd even be able to use a computer anymore... or maybe even read. Every hugging time I turn on the tv there are hugging idiots that need to have their heads ripped off."

As for staying out of politics and such... That's part of why so many of us are in such a sad state as we are.

 

Ignorance may be bliss... but those who choose to embrace it should be put on a -very- short leash.



#66 Caldwin

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 09:38 AM

Those depression hotlines.... almost amuse me.


I actually never called one. I went to my normal yearly doctor checkup, which just so happened to be a week after my melt-down, and then the next week I started therapy. I bypassed the suicide hotlines.

But the reason I have the number in my sig and why I bring it up is because I know some needs are more immediate and waiting to shop around for a therapist, setting an appointment and such isn't going to cut it because, again, the need is more immediate. If there's some other more immediate drop of the hat "I need help right hugging now" place to get help, I'm all for it. Really, whatever it takes to make sure someone sticks around, do it. The suicide hotline is just the one thing I'm privy to, so that's what I encourage.

As for staying out of politics and such... That's part of why so many of us are in such a sad state as we are.
 
Ignorance may be bliss... but those who choose to embrace it should be put on a -very- short leash.


I can't even. I really just can't even. I work at a television station, which is like all politics all the time. I have a co-worker who's always wanting to bring up politics. Which, you know, we're both on the same side so I typically agree with what he says...but damnit all, I'm sick and tired of talking about it for 8-hugging-hours-straight. And as far as talking about it here goes, well, I don't want this to go P&R, so I'm just going to say it and leave it alone. I feel like a lone republican in a sea of democrats and the moment things even get remotely political, I'm the three legged cat in a room packed to the brim with packs upon packs of dogs just waiting to tear me apart.

Hug...that!

I find politics is just too much hugging stress no matter what company I'm with. And the fact that it's actually driving HC to that brink...hug politics. Seriously, you want to talk politics, you do you. I find my time much less stressfully spent the more I can ignore it.
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#67 HellCat

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 02:25 PM

I understand people are concerned given what I've said but people from here have contacted my boss, who is now insistent that I need to be on medication, need to stay offline and need to ignore Brexit for 6 months.

....Whatever final form it'll take will be decided in 3 months.

I can assure you that as shit as I feel, creating a situation where I'm now being spoken to like a dangerous/insane liability really hasn't helped. Thanks.

#68 Caldwin

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 06:21 PM

people from here have contacted my boss


Okay, guys? This isn't cool. I understand there's a bit of "be careful what you put out on the internet." But at the same time, we shouldn't just be outing someone like this. I started this thread to help people. That only works if people can trust us not to out them. What happens in this thread really needs to stay in this thread.

I know there are things I say to my therapist that I absolutely in no way want my boss to know about. I'm sure this was only done because you care and want to help. But telling someone's boss about issues like this can really hurt them. It could get them into some deep trouble. So please, recommend help. Try to talk someone down. Suggest courses of action.

But don't take those actions for them and certainly don't go telling peoples loved ones, co-workers including bosses what you hear here. It can easily do more harm than good.

HellCat, I realize it'll be a while before you have a chance to read this, but I'm sorry this happened. I hope this didn't land you in too much trouble and I do hope you get the help you need.
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#69 Maruten

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 08:43 PM

Please note that the following post is me muddling through this as a sad and poorly-equipped human, not an official Allspark staff pronouncement. 

 

I really am not across this whole kind of issue so I don't know what the right course of action here was. What I do know is that a concerned user reported HC's post to the staff in hopes that we would be able to help HellCat or direct help towards HellCat. We had multiple staff approaching this from different angles. I think that's basically reasonable, because while we are a message board about stupid little toys and don't have an official duty of care as such, we are largely a wonderful community and we care about each other. If we've caused more harm than good I can assure you we are all extremely sorry because this is an important issue that we did not want to screw up. 

 

But it's hard to ignore a post that goes beyond "I want to talk about my suicidal thoughts" to "I'm planning this now and it's a done deal". And I'm conscious of the fact that it's icky to be talking about HC like this here, but this is the thread where HC put that on the table so here we are. I haven't followed this thread closely in the past so maybe this event is not unique, I don't know. But it's the first time (AFAIK) that another user has seen a post here and felt the need to raise it as an issue with the staff because one of our members needs help. I don't think we've ever needed a policy on how to respond if a member threatens genuine self-harm. I hope we don't need one now but maybe we do. I don't want people to feel they can't speak openly in this thread - but I also don't want them to kill themselves. 

 

Maybe my posting this just hugs things up more. I have no idea. I (while realising this is not about me!) just want HellCat to be alive. I want HellCat to still be here posting things that entertain me every day. I want HellCat not to respond to events that can be undone with an act that can't be undone. My understanding of the impacts of Brexit is no better than my understanding of the issues surrounding depression and suicide. And of course Brexit is not the sole motivation for HC's choices, there's obviously more to it than that, but I think the point still stands. Suicide is not the right answer. As ignorant as I may be, I don't feel uncomfortable asserting that.

 

If anyone has concerns about staff actions around these issues please feel free to PM me (or any member of staff you feel more comfortable approaching) and I (or they) will pass those concerns on to the management team (or not, if you prefer). 


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#70 Caldwin

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 09:14 PM

I've written you a PM, Maruten. I understand why you want it to be in PM instead of public, so I'll respect that. But I do want to say publicly that I do think this was the wrong move to make. I hope to see (as quickly as possible) what policy comes of this.
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#71 Maruten

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 09:22 PM

Thanks Caldwin. And of course it's not essential to PM, the conversation can be happening publicly in this thread also if the participants are comfortable with that. 


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#72 Caldwin

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 09:48 PM

Well, it was a long PM. But the bulk of it was this.

We need a policy so this doesn't happen again. When I went to HR to ask about EAP, there's different EAP's. There's psychological consoling, financial consoling...among other options. They give you the number to a third party that actually sets appointments and sets thing going. Not your boss, not even the HR person knows why you wanted the number.

They set it up that way so that what just happened to HellCat doesn't happen. Things just got a lot worse for HellCat at work.

Point blank, we failed HellCat. Even more, we also failed anyone who needed to speak up, saw what happened to HellCat and just noped out of the situation.

So I'm really serious about this. I think we need to know beforehand how to deal with this situation if it comes up again. This needs to be a safe place, not one where someone needs to worry who all will know if they reach out.

That's the short version.

Let me end this by saying that if you are one of those who just saw what happened with HellCat and noped right out of coming forward, please find someone. If you don't trust this thread, find someone you do trust and PM them. If you live in the US, call the number in my signature. If you're outside the US, find out what your equivalent is.

Edited by Caldwin, 07 January 2019 - 09:50 PM.

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#73 Echowarrior

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 10:01 PM

 

Those depression hotlines.... almost amuse me.


I actually never called one. I went to my normal yearly doctor checkup, which just so happened to be a week after my melt-down, and then the next week I started therapy. I bypassed the suicide hotlines.

But the reason I have the number in my sig and why I bring it up is because I know some needs are more immediate and waiting to shop around for a therapist, setting an appointment and such isn't going to cut it because, again, the need is more immediate. If there's some other more immediate drop of the hat "I need help right hugging now" place to get help, I'm all for it. Really, whatever it takes to make sure someone sticks around, do it. The suicide hotline is just the one thing I'm privy to, so that's what I encourage.

As for staying out of politics and such... That's part of why so many of us are in such a sad state as we are.
 
Ignorance may be bliss... but those who choose to embrace it should be put on a -very- short leash.


I can't even. I really just can't even. I work at a television station, which is like all politics all the time. I have a co-worker who's always wanting to bring up politics. Which, you know, we're both on the same side so I typically agree with what he says...but damnit all, I'm sick and tired of talking about it for 8-hugging-hours-straight. And as far as talking about it here goes, well, I don't want this to go P&R, so I'm just going to say it and leave it alone. I feel like a lone republican in a sea of democrats and the moment things even get remotely political, I'm the three legged cat in a room packed to the brim with packs upon packs of dogs just waiting to tear me apart.

Hug...that!

I find politics is just too much hugging stress no matter what company I'm with. And the fact that it's actually driving HC to that brink...hug politics. Seriously, you want to talk politics, you do you. I find my time much less stressfully spent the more I can ignore it.

 

 

Agreed so very much - I avoid P&R for exactly those same reasons, though I don't affiliate with one party or another. I'll agree with one side or another on various issues, and will freely admit when someone I disagree with has a point, but on the whole, I'm more likely to agree with the conservatives than I am the liberals. The trouble is that with this current climate, not agreeing with a particular group on either side about everything makes me feel like I run the risk of being labeled the worst person since Adolf Hitler. And sadly, I fear that's more likely to happen with someone who leans towards the left than it is with someone on the right. Granted, a lot of this might be due to my lack of ability to properly articulate my views, and that's on me, but still, I don't enjoy feeling like people hate me simply because I disagree with them on one thing or another. Consequence of being bullied for years and dealing with an emotionally abusive father - I'm liable to take that sort of thing personally and believe that it's my fault people don't like me.

 

That sort of thinking is what tends to fuel suicidal thoughts, sadly. You get to thinking that the world hates you, then you start thinking that the world wouldn't miss you. Then you start thinking the world's better off without you. Never a pleasant thought, that, and I don't wish it on anyone.


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#74 Maruten

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 10:02 PM

I have taken all of this to the entire staff so that we can try to get this right in future. We take this seriously and we do not want this community we love to feel we have breached your trust.


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#75 Copper Bezel

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 10:27 PM

Caldwin, I'm sorry, but that's not your call to make. "We" didn't "fail" anyone. Even a therapist in the US or UK is expected to report imminent suicide threats to the appropriate authorities. Those weren't available in this case and we did the best we could. I approved this decision before we acted on it and I stand by it. If you would like a space for freely and safely planning to commit a crime, it is not this forum, and you will need to find another venue, whether you personally start the thread or not.

The advice HellCat was given, compulsory or otherwise, was also correct. A person with a mental illness refusing care is not a rational agent making free choices. I am profoundly and intimately familiar with depression, I have had suicide scares from friends and family members, I'm intensely aware of how this plays out. Personally, I would rather be forced into care than have my disease make my decisions for me, but if I'm in that position I'm not available to make the choice myself, now am I?

 

I have ignored this thread so far because I don't see the point of involving myself - I can't tell someone "get clinical help" any louder than anyone else here and that is the only way in which anyone on the internet will ever help you manage depression or suicidal thoughts.

Be careful what you post on the internet.


Edited by Copper Bezel, 07 January 2019 - 10:29 PM.

Shouldn't gravity be doing something?
 
Of course there's a figure of Rodimus as some kind of animal girl. Why would I be surprised by this?

 


#76 The Doctor Who

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 11:26 PM

 

Point blank, we failed HellCat. 

We aren't and can't be under obligation for anything. Period.

 

Do not put the guilt of another person's mania on other people's shoulders without their consent.  We are not therapists, we are just random people on an internet forum and we cannot be expected to behave as trained professionals and live up to their standards.  Most of us come here to escape or connect with friends, not play suicide watch.

 

At best, this thread is a place to vent and empathize, but we cannot be expected to be a safety net nor a round-the-clock support network.  We are regular people, with jobs and lives and some of us deal with our own mental and emotional demons and are not fit to take on that responsibility.

 

Personally, I find it insulting that you are admonishing the whole of us for what must have been the actions of a handful of people, if that. Who are you to tut at us? What gives you the right to hand out reprimands and make demands? You aren't the administrator of this forum, nor even a mod. None of us have volunteered for services or taken oaths of care. This was never in our hands, nor should it have been.


Edited by The Doctor Who, 07 January 2019 - 11:27 PM.

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#77 MEDdMI

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Posted 07 January 2019 - 11:40 PM

I agree with Caldwin that there should be a policy on this. I feel bad for HC and how this turned out, but ultimately this is a public forum and we can't expect the staff to not take threats to inflict self harm seriously.



#78 Copper Bezel

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Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:24 AM

Yeah. I should stress that point - it manifestly isn't obvious, since Caldwin raised it again after Maurten addressed it the first time.

 

Let me end this by saying that if you are one of those who just saw what happened with HellCat and noped right out of coming forward, please find someone. If you don't trust this thread, find someone you do trust and PM them. 

 

There's a difference between someone coming forward to seek support or talk about suicidal feelings, and someone announcing that they're going to act on them. His post here also wasn't the only communication we had with him. It was a serious threat we felt we needed to respond to.


Edited by Copper Bezel, 08 January 2019 - 12:24 AM.

Shouldn't gravity be doing something?
 
Of course there's a figure of Rodimus as some kind of animal girl. Why would I be surprised by this?

 


#79 Fnu Aw

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Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:26 AM

Allspark staff are not going to be in the business of overreacting to every mention of suicide. Let's be clear about that. If you're struggling, this is a place where you can talk about it openly, frankly, and safely. We don't want anyone to be afraid to use this thread, and we don't want anyone to feel that their trust will be breached. This thread has our support.

 

What's different, and must be different, is when we have reasons to believe we have a credible declaration of intent. We did have reasons why we took this case seriously. And seconding what Copper said, our reasons go beyond what was posted in this particular thread.


Edited by Fnu Aw, 08 January 2019 - 12:49 AM.

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#80 HellCat

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Posted 08 January 2019 - 01:09 AM

When I get a chain of messages that reads as "You went insane 2 and a half years ago and I'm going to prove I don't understand what's happening by telling you to avoid this for 6 months, despite 3 months being the final decision of if you live ib an isolated police state. But don't worry, once we get some pills in you you'll be fine!"?

That doesn't help me. It's insulting in so many ways. It's not even concern, it's doping me up to shut me up.

Everything I've experienced these past 2 and a half years, ESPECIALLY the people hurt across it, dismissed as some thing only an unhinged person would concern themselves with.



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Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Depression, suicide, healing

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