Jump to content


Toggle shoutbox Squawkbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

Please don't post Youtube videos in the chat box. The forums software auto embeds them. 

@  Sabrblade : (30 March 2020 - 10:27 PM)

Bruce Wayne's cyberpunk cousin?

@  PlutoniumBoss : (30 March 2020 - 09:27 PM)

Laser Wayne

@  Sabrblade : (30 March 2020 - 09:08 PM)

Luther Unum

@  PlutoniumBoss : (30 March 2020 - 07:09 PM)

Or Lee Derwon.

@  Steevy Maximus : (30 March 2020 - 06:51 PM)

Not to be confused with Leader I

@  Steevy Maximus : (30 March 2020 - 06:50 PM)

He was Leader Uno

@  Steevy Maximus : (30 March 2020 - 06:50 PM)

He was the OTHER Leader 1

@  TheMightyMol... : (30 March 2020 - 06:29 PM)

Or Sideways.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (30 March 2020 - 05:26 PM)

On the other hand, this is Armada we're talking about. It could have actually been Metroplex.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 March 2020 - 11:08 PM)

Oh yeah, that was Fort Max. My bad.

@  LBD "Nyt... : (28 March 2020 - 09:12 PM)

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Peritus_Maximus

@  LBD "Nyt... : (28 March 2020 - 09:11 PM)

Christmas Maximus?

@  Maximus Ambus : (28 March 2020 - 01:13 PM)

At least the ozone layer is healing. unless this is a 0.0000000001% thing it's sounds like good news.

@  ▲ndrusi : (28 March 2020 - 09:27 AM)

(But only pretty sure, not 100% sure.)

@  ▲ndrusi : (28 March 2020 - 09:26 AM)

Pretty sure y'all were thinking of Fortress Maximus yesterday.

@  Bass X0 : (28 March 2020 - 12:38 AM)

Dare! Dare to believe you can survive 2020!

@  Steevy Maximus : (27 March 2020 - 08:18 PM)

Baja Blast is back at retail!

@  TheMightyMol... : (27 March 2020 - 03:47 PM)

Shame he wasn't around more. He seemed like such a jolly, happy soul.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (27 March 2020 - 02:16 PM)

No, he was definitely Metroplex. You could tell because he was in Metroplex's distinctive red and green coloration.

@  Paladin : (27 March 2020 - 02:11 PM)

that was Leader-1. or possibly Jolt. maybe Grindor...

@  PlutoniumBoss : (27 March 2020 - 01:57 PM)

Metroplex was in Armada, in a flashback. He was the same size as everybody else. I thought that was the joke.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (27 March 2020 - 12:39 PM)

@Rodimus Supreme: Gah! You are right! How'd I get that mixed up? x.x;

@  TheMightyMol... : (27 March 2020 - 12:14 PM)

There is no Metroplex. Only Zuul.

@  Rodimus Supreme : (27 March 2020 - 11:13 AM)

@Tm_Silverclaw: There is no Armada Metroplex, he was in Cybertron.

@  Rodimus Supreme : (27 March 2020 - 11:12 AM)

And they'd be better off just retooling Metroplex and Fortress Maximus to be somewhat more accurate and changing/adding parts for interaction with later play gimmicks.

@  Rodimus Supreme : (27 March 2020 - 11:11 AM)

I honestly would prefer that for scale purposes.

@  Cyoti : (27 March 2020 - 11:07 AM)

They can redo all the CW combiners as Titan Class figures like Predaking/Devastator.

@  Dekafox : (27 March 2020 - 07:52 AM)

They could just redo Metroplex again too. Especially if it's going to be S3 based. They could also do another Primus to go with the coming Unicron.

@  OverDrive73 : (26 March 2020 - 10:56 PM)

If anyone is bored, or interested... I just added the last chapter to my fanfic comic in Allspark Pictures

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (26 March 2020 - 10:54 PM)

And no.. We could always get Titan Class Superion.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (26 March 2020 - 10:53 PM)

We need Titan Class Transformers Armada Metroplex.

@  Telly : (26 March 2020 - 08:39 PM)

ill be surprised if scorpy isnt the last titan

@  PlutoniumBoss : (26 March 2020 - 05:57 PM)

Too bad a new character titan class figure is pretty much an impossibility.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (26 March 2020 - 05:56 PM)

I want a titan class, really good looking bucket wheel excavator. Like Cybertron Metroplex was supposed to be but didn't quite pull off.

@  wonko the sane? : (26 March 2020 - 03:32 PM)

I just taped up a shower curtain and took my first shower in three weeks. It was heavenly.

@  Rodimus Supreme : (26 March 2020 - 11:48 AM)

I would buy that...

@  Maximus Ambus : (24 March 2020 - 02:03 PM)

Studio Series 100 Titan Class Driller.

@  Sabrblade : (23 March 2020 - 09:05 PM)

I'll give ya 25 cents, a pack of gum, and some peanuts.

@  TheMightyMol... : (23 March 2020 - 07:35 PM)

I can give ya twenty bucks for it.

@  Paladin : (23 March 2020 - 04:28 PM)

hoarder? I hardly know 'er?

@  Dekafox : (23 March 2020 - 01:52 PM)

FOR THE HORDE!

@  repowers : (23 March 2020 - 01:48 PM)

* hordes shrubberies *

@  Telly : (23 March 2020 - 01:46 PM)

YET...

@  PlutoniumBoss : (23 March 2020 - 01:22 PM)

At least we haven't resorted to shouting "NI" at old ladies.

@  CORVUS : (23 March 2020 - 11:04 AM)

Keep it out, and I won't reply to it.

@  RichardT1977 : (23 March 2020 - 08:50 AM)

It's a sad world where we can't discuss our health and safety without it descending into political arguments...

@  fourteenwings : (22 March 2020 - 11:46 PM)

woah I have no idea what's going on here but it's certainly breaking the "keep P&R out of the shoutbox" rules (which really should be enforced like... at all)

@  CORVUS : (22 March 2020 - 11:13 PM)

Ugh, Chinese. Typo-city.

@  CORVUS : (22 March 2020 - 11:11 PM)

Rodimus, you're just flat-out wrong. Trump eliminated the Pandemic Response Team. Trump was advised in January that this could be serious, and he didn't listen. Trump spent weeks downplaying COVID-19 by implying it was a hoax, and then that it was just a type of flu. He was late to close down travel from China, and by the time he closed down air-travel to the EU, that was also too late. He has refused to take responsibility for removing the pandemic response team, even though he basically bragged about it some months before. He's also prematurely talked up treatments using chlorquinine that have not been properly vetted as yet, and he keeps calling COVID-19 the "Chinense virus" because he can't help but be a jerk. Face facts: Trump is an incompetent bungler. Period. Full-stop.

@  repowers : (22 March 2020 - 03:49 PM)

That's totally super biased!


Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

Depression and Suicide

Depression suicide healing

263 replies to this topic

#241 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 12 February 2020 - 12:32 PM

They had a cancellation last week, so I made sure I was scheduled for the next two months. Going to try to get a set day/time thing going on, too.

 

Still kind of on my own for a little while until my next visit, but I think I'll make it through. Just might be miserable.

 

~Marduk

 



#242 Caldwin

Caldwin

    Peace!

  • Supporter
  • 25380 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:You don't wanna know
  • Faction::RIBFIR

Posted 12 February 2020 - 12:53 PM

Yeah, I'm seriously not happy with your therapist right now. I hope it's some consolation that you can vent here.
PSN = Caldwin

Switch = SW-7457-8143-2029

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

Before you do anything you can't undo...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#243 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 16 February 2020 - 10:07 AM

You know, I wish I could vent here. I could use a good group think through things.

 

One of those... you trust someone so completely that you emotionally open up to them and then they s**t all over you situations.

 

And I hate it.

 

~Marduk

 

 

 

 



#244 Caldwin

Caldwin

    Peace!

  • Supporter
  • 25380 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:You don't wanna know
  • Faction::RIBFIR

Posted 16 February 2020 - 12:38 PM

I've had those moments "well if you think that's bad, look what happened to him" or just an outright "quitcher bitchen." I've even done it to myself where I'd be like, what right do I have to complain.

 

Don't let that happen here. I don't know if that's happened elsewhere on the boards, but don't let it happen here. Talk to a mod.

 

This thread was specifically made to not allow that kind of thing. If you have something you need to say, this is meant to be the safe space where you can say it.

 

And even if it doesn't necessarily rise to the point of depression, if all you need to do is vent..."I had a bad day at work, the store clerk was a dick and that son of a bitch cut me off in traffic," there's a thread for that too.

 

https://www.allspark...venting-thread/


PSN = Caldwin

Switch = SW-7457-8143-2029

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

Before you do anything you can't undo...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#245 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 16 February 2020 - 01:24 PM

It's not that, at all. It's more I'm afraid to vent about this, if that makes sense?

 

It's one of those things that I think venting in any detail would out me on other social media.  I try to keep here & there separate. Unfortunately, it's entirely possible that people here could recognize who / what I'm talking about. That's not a can of worms I'm emotionally prepared to deal with.

 

I just need to get through what is apparently a narcissistic discard by someone I trusted completely and felt was as close as family.

 

~Marduk

 

 

 

 



#246 Caldwin

Caldwin

    Peace!

  • Supporter
  • 25380 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:You don't wanna know
  • Faction::RIBFIR

Posted 16 February 2020 - 01:31 PM

I can understand that. Internet is hardly secure I suppose. I do hope you have someone you can vent to though.


PSN = Caldwin

Switch = SW-7457-8143-2029

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

Before you do anything you can't undo...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#247 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 16 February 2020 - 05:19 PM

I can understand that. Internet is hardly secure I suppose. I do hope you have someone you can vent to though.

Not really, no.  Just holding on until my next therapy appointment.

 

I figure it's going to be ugly. And painful.

 

~Marduk



#248 MEDdMI

MEDdMI

    Nonstop Baka

  • Supporter
  • 14270 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Earth... I think
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 16 February 2020 - 11:50 PM

Would writing about it help, even if you never post it?

#249 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 17 February 2020 - 05:06 PM

Yeah, I've got a place on my own to vent. It's come in handy the past few weeks. Doesn't really make up for having person-to-person contact to bounce things off of.

 

This is - well, it's literally something I've never experienced before. And it's all kinds of painful.

 

I'm on the wait list at the therapists. I could have gotten in Wednesday, but I had a previously scheduled appointment I couldn't cancel. Hopefully something comes up later in the week. Otherwise, it's Monday.

 

~Marduk



#250 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 20 February 2020 - 04:53 PM

Got a call from the office this morning. They'd had a cancellation tomorrow, so I'm scheduled then.

 

Still one of those situations where I wish I'd never started.

 

Can't be helped.

 

~Marduk



#251 HellCat

HellCat

    Opinionated idiot

  • Citizen
  • 28977 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 07 March 2020 - 12:46 PM

Currently adrift with no way to solve my problems bar a lottery win. I'm trapped between lack of funds, the mounting costs of things due to a stupid decision I spent 4 years fighting and people who know me not caring about my illness. In particular, my mum keeps insisting I'm using being depressed as a crutch to be lazy. I remember such words not being thrown around when my sister was diagnosed with suicidal depression, but I've always been the accident so hey...

 

I really don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a job I hate on an island that is about to throw its economy and human rights out the window by year's end. I don't have the money nor language skills to really move anywhere else. I keep sacrificing to protect other people at the expense of my own health, mental and physical, only to be told what a terrible person I am.

 

I really don't know what to do. I hate my life and I hate myself and everywhere I go people seem to be lining up to tell me how much better things would be without me. I think they're right.



#252 D Immortalis

D Immortalis

    I've gotta make the world know my name...

  • Citizen
  • 3817 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Warwick, NY
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 07 March 2020 - 06:10 PM

so what was i doing a year ago? living my last day with 2 working legs.

 

this is not a fun anniversary. im in a ..place..its not a good place...its not a kill myself place, but it is want to die adjacent.

 

i dunno...just want to feel whole again, both physically, mentally, and with the world outside. I left the house for only the 2nd time for something that wasnt a doctors appointment (shopping at walmart and target with the family last weekend)...and all i learned was i never want to go out again. all that pain to get nothing i needed at the stores was so not worth it.

 

im so hugging tired of this shit..its been one year, its been 20 years, when does it all end?


Edited by D Immortalis, 07 March 2020 - 06:11 PM.

_+-=-+DAEMON IMMORTALIS+-=-+_

 

Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#253 Caldwin

Caldwin

    Peace!

  • Supporter
  • 25380 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:You don't wanna know
  • Faction::RIBFIR

Posted 09 March 2020 - 08:48 AM

I don't want to write a reply just to list a bunch of platitudes because I don't know what to say. But I also don't want someone to post here and think no one's listening because no one replies.

I will say that out of the participants in this thread, you two (Hellcat, D Immortalis) are the ones I worry and pray about the most. I'm glad you're both are still around.


PSN = Caldwin

Switch = SW-7457-8143-2029

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

Before you do anything you can't undo...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#254 MEDdMI

MEDdMI

    Nonstop Baka

  • Supporter
  • 14270 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Earth... I think
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 09 March 2020 - 11:03 PM

Yeah. I don't what I can say/do that might help.

#255 Marduk

Marduk
  • Citizen
  • 1708 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Faction::Maximal

Posted 26 March 2020 - 09:58 AM

So here's an update:

 

Part of what I'm in therapy for is social anxiety. I'm one of those people who... doesn't have friends. At least not in the way most people do. It was time to fix that.

 

What I'm learning is that the people who I do think of as friends don't really understand what this is like.

 

I keep getting told to "focus on you."  Well, I have been. I've got a pretty good idea of who I am and what I value (even if I don't know where I'm going).

 

The problem is finding other people. Meeting people for me is like being asked to solve for "X" when all you've had are English classes. I do not understand it. I don't understand how to do it. It's like using Klingon to explain the price of droids to a Jawa.

 

So if I do "connect," I tend to do it too quickly. And that... hasn't ended well.

 

No real point in this other than I'm just tired.

 

~Marduk



#256 CORVUS

CORVUS

    Alltogether OOKY.

  • Supporter
  • 33172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Somewhere infinitely improbable.
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 27 March 2020 - 05:25 PM

I'm not in any danger, but I am in an anxiety crisis.

 

I live in a state of passive suicidal ideation most of the time, as life and experience has gradually stolen away my joy, bit by bit. But, the current combined storm of climate change, political incompetence, rampant willful ignorance, and the fear that COVID-19 might harm people I care about, has left me in a state of near-paralysis.

 

I want to scream, but I shouldn't. I want to wreck everything, but that solves absolutely nothing. I want to bleed just so the sight of it can remind me that I'm alive and that I exist, as much as I may not wish to be. But I can't do that either, because that will frighten and worry people I care about, and its also rationally counter-productive.

 

A big part of the problem is that I've been rationing my medication because I'm almost out, as I've exhausted my refills. As much as I resent having to be on them, the sad truth is that without them, I'll become utterly useless, and my usual rationalizations that prevent me from taking my own life (mainly, it would be traumatic to people I care about) may not be enough to prevent a moment of true suicidal crisis.

 

My hope is that by talking about this, even in this short post, might press me into action in regards to getting my meds refilled.


“I love a man with integrity - I wish I knew one.” - Gomez Addams

 


#257 Patch

Patch
  • Retired Staff
  • 35595 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 27 March 2020 - 06:16 PM

What steps do you have to take to get them refilled?



#258 CORVUS

CORVUS

    Alltogether OOKY.

  • Supporter
  • 33172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Somewhere infinitely improbable.
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 27 March 2020 - 10:34 PM

Making a phone-call may be all that I have to do. Right now just that simple action seems monumental.

 

EDIT: Made the call. I was expecting an Answering Machine, but got an after-hours answering service. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with an actual human being, but I managed.


Edited by CORVUS, 27 March 2020 - 10:44 PM.

“I love a man with integrity - I wish I knew one.” - Gomez Addams

 


#259 MEDdMI

MEDdMI

    Nonstop Baka

  • Supporter
  • 14270 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Earth... I think
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 27 March 2020 - 10:39 PM

Can someone you trust make that call for you? If it's a major pharmacy, you may be able to request it through phone IVR or online. They might be able to contact your doctor for you.

Edited by MEDdMI, 27 March 2020 - 10:39 PM.


#260 CORVUS

CORVUS

    Alltogether OOKY.

  • Supporter
  • 33172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Somewhere infinitely improbable.
  • Faction::Free Agent

Posted 28 March 2020 - 02:22 AM

Thanks for the suggestion, but I was able to leave the message I needed to. There will probably be follow up on Monday morning.

“I love a man with integrity - I wish I knew one.” - Gomez Addams

 




Reply to this topic



  



Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Depression, suicide, healing

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users