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@  Foffy : (18 July 2019 - 04:45 PM)

that's right. my gym teacher is a clown. new series coming to disney channel next fall

@  Foffy : (18 July 2019 - 04:44 PM)

all these clowns are making me run really fast.

@  Sabrblade : (18 July 2019 - 12:10 PM)

All this awesome SDCC news is really making these boards run slowly.

@  Bass X0 : (18 July 2019 - 07:54 AM)

Racism must be stopped. No matter the cost.

@  MEDdMI : (18 July 2019 - 07:49 AM)

Tine to stop buttering it up.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (17 July 2019 - 09:43 PM)

Well shucks.

@  ▲ndrusi : (17 July 2019 - 08:14 PM)

The joke is a husk of its former self.

@  Paladin : (17 July 2019 - 01:15 PM)

Pop.

@  Shrug : (17 July 2019 - 10:15 AM)

Something something... corn bread?

@  MEDdMI : (17 July 2019 - 07:21 AM)

Ok, ok. Enough of the puns and let's all thank Kal for the amaizeing job he did.

@  Paladin : (17 July 2019 - 06:24 AM)

by now I think this jokes' been creamed.

@  Nevermore : (17 July 2019 - 03:31 AM)

The kernel.

@  Nevermore : (17 July 2019 - 03:31 AM)

Who gives the orders in cybernetic warfare?

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 09:59 PM)

Zea mays

@  Xellos : (16 July 2019 - 09:53 PM)

Isn't that a kernel of truth.

@  Paladin : (16 July 2019 - 08:43 PM)

huh. suddenly the Squawk is popping.

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 07:47 PM)

Not placing much stalk in this conversation.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 06:22 PM)

That's so corny.

@  Shrug : (16 July 2019 - 06:07 PM)

It's absurd how happy I am that a post of mine made the front page of Reddit.

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 05:46 PM)

Aww, shucks.

@  TriBlurr : (16 July 2019 - 05:45 PM)

Not till I taste the corn

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 05:43 PM)

You guys aren't being very nice. You're supposed to tell me I did "good, really good!"

@  TheMightyMol... : (16 July 2019 - 05:40 PM)

Just don't go beyond the rows.

@  Patch : (16 July 2019 - 05:39 PM)

Left over from the failed Beast Machines sequel, Beast Farmers

@  Patch : (16 July 2019 - 05:39 PM)

It's techno-organic corn

@  TriBlurr : (16 July 2019 - 05:26 PM)

We have a cornfield? Can I get a few ears?

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:56 PM)

And lastly, if it becomes too much hassle to deal with - it might just get sent into the cornfield and replaced with a Discord box anyway. So cool it.

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:55 PM)

Second thing is we do actually have the ability to ban users specifically from using Shoutbox if it's being abused like that

@  Kalidor : (16 July 2019 - 12:55 PM)

Hey all - just a reminder and heads up. The Shoutbox has been kept here as a courtesy because it's what you folks like in lieu of Discord - but a few things to remember is that P&R should stay in P&R and isn't really something that needs to be dragged out here in the most public of spaces.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 11:04 AM)

Done.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (16 July 2019 - 10:25 AM)

You can make a new one. I doubt anybody would stop you.

@  Nevermore : (16 July 2019 - 10:16 AM)

There was a thread but it appears to have disappeared. Might have been lost in one of the older forum sweeps.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (16 July 2019 - 09:58 AM)

Yeah this is pretty much circumventing the fact that we have different rules for political talk.

@  fourteenwings : (16 July 2019 - 09:55 AM)

Okay, so, basically, can we not do politics in here anymore? I mean, considering how often @Nevermore, you talk about your work conditions, don't you think it's time for a dedicated thread in P&R?

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 09:39 AM)

Scratch that; that's insulting to honest salads. Whatever that was was the text equivalent of hamburger.

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 09:38 AM)

Would you like some dressing to go with your word salad?

@  Paladin : (16 July 2019 - 09:34 AM)

yes; it now goes "shit piss hug *BLEEP* ^$@^ motherhuger **** turd fart encyclopedia & Socialism."

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 09:24 AM)

This is an American site, but isn't that unnecessarily severe language? IIRC it's one of the top four offensive pejoratives to English people

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (16 July 2019 - 08:52 AM)

It's amusing how so many (U.S.) wankers in this world love to whine "capitalism good socialism bad!" in the abstract while simultaneously pretending that megacorporations dominating de facto monopolies is anathema to the core capitalistic principle of competition benefits everyone.

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 05:17 AM)

I know Shockwave's super mode is pretty lame and Magnus is kinda greebly but it's not that bad.

@  TM2-Megatron : (16 July 2019 - 12:38 AM)

Though with the luck and caliber of leaders we've had of late in the darkest timeline, maybe it's too much to hope for.

@  TM2-Megatron : (16 July 2019 - 12:36 AM)

Just like democracy, it's not perfect but better than the present alternatives. Capitalism as it's practiced today won't be able to weather the coming wave of automation, though. Best to plan for it and hope for a gentle transition rather than the aforementioned collapse

@  unluckiness : (16 July 2019 - 12:27 AM)

Capitalism is the worst amiright? Sent from my iPhone

@  Vexwing : (15 July 2019 - 11:24 PM)

Because the collapse is gonna be just great.

@  TM2-Megatron : (15 July 2019 - 10:41 PM)

Let's hope this is late stage and we're on the cusp of something better.

@  abates : (15 July 2019 - 09:45 PM)

Late stage capitalism is the absolute best.

@  TheMightyMol... : (15 July 2019 - 01:33 PM)

So, welcome to all retail, everywhere.

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 01:24 PM)

Oh, and Greenpeace also conducted a protest at a German Amazon facility, to protest against Amazon's practice of throwing customer returns in the trash.

@  Nevermore : (15 July 2019 - 01:17 PM)

Right, because with Amazon, it's just the employees that have to step in dog shit while having no space to breathe.[/slightexaggeration]

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (15 July 2019 - 01:03 PM)

At least I can use Amazon without losing the ability to breath or step in dog shit.


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Depression and Suicide

Depression suicide healing

216 replies to this topic

#201 HellCat

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Posted 23 June 2019 - 09:55 AM

Just had police at my door.

 

Made a thread on Twitter that I believed I was probably destined for suicide because despite seeking professional help none of it had worked and that I knew it was down to how things were going in my life and the world around me, so it wouldn't address that. I didn't say 'I'm going to kill myself', just outlined that I feared it would end that way because, again, professional help hadn't worked for me.

 

Someone reported it and I've just had a police officer here thinking I was in imminent danger of self harm. Which hasn't helped.



#202 Caldwin

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Posted 23 June 2019 - 03:41 PM

The wording of your post makes it sound like you don't want to kill yourself, but you think it's going to end that way because that's how things are headed.

I understand that professional help hasn't been good so far. I'm wondering if maybe it's because it's been a "do it or else" type thing. I mean, it is important to find a therapist who fits with you. My first therapist wasn't who I wound up with either.

But I get the feeling that maybe because it was a "do it or else" situation, maybe it added a layer of complication to it. But if you're at a point now where you truly don't want things to end in suicide, maybe you're more ready for it? Maybe you're still looking for the right therapist, but now you're ready to actually begin that search?

I don't know, I'm making some assumptions here. But it just sounds like you're finally at a place where you don't really want to kill yourself, you just don't know what the other options are.

I'll tell you, therapy isn't easy. They're going to tell you things you don't want to hear. But when you go through it, when you see it start to work...

I mean, I actually am happy now. I went through a bunch of shit along the way. There were times I was pretty broken. But there is a life on the other side of therapy.

I say keep with it. Even if you don't hit it off with a therapist immediately, give them a good solid chance before writing them off. But don't stop looking for the one that's going to help you get through this. The alternative...it just isn't good. You can do so much better.
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Before you do anything you can't undo...
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#203 Destron D-69

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Posted 24 June 2019 - 05:06 AM

that all being said, Therapy isn't for everyone and it's not a surefire fix even if it is 'for you' ... as long as you're willing to not kill yourself like an idiot.. you're not going to accidentally trip and fall into suicide.

 

it's sort of one of those things you have to be actively perusing for it to happen 

 

 

now I admit, that's a very harsh way of putting it. But you seem really sure you aren't actively looking forward to it, so I think you'll understand my bluntness. 

 

there are obviously things going on that are causing you to think that this is the way you'll go out - that would be where I'd start with things. 

 

you'll figure this stuff out.  



#204 HellCat

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Posted 30 June 2019 - 03:17 AM

I put in for therapy because I realised I was in a dark place and wanted to climb out of it.

I was rejected for therapy but had been seeing a mental health nurse past few months. She once asked that as low as I was what kept me from having already killed myself? "Because there's more out there in the world and more to come. If I'm dead, I won't get to see any of it."

Having been denied therapy I had to put in for counselling. And that was useless. Paying for an hour a week for sessions where I was to take the lead whilst they were hands off. No help at all. Just leaves me out of pocket with nothing to show for it and feeling even more pathetic.

I'd already isolated with the nurse the things that would need to change in my life. But I'm depressed and suicidal BECAUSE I have no mechanism to change those things. I'm stuck, largely due to the mistakes and selfishness of others.

#205 Destron D-69

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Posted 30 June 2019 - 05:26 AM

that's too bad man, I wish I could swap with you.  but I don't know if being depressed because of your own mistakes is any better. lol 

 

but hey, take heart in knowing that because nothing that's gone wrong was your own doing - anything you have done up until now was the right thing to do... good odds for continuing to move forward. 



#206 D Immortalis

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Posted 08 July 2019 - 08:01 AM

finding out that one of my alltime fave bands is back together and touring again (PWEI, Pop Will Eat Itself), has kind of put me into a bit of a downward spiral...

 

i spent all day yesterday and most of this morning to far screaming at my parents for "saving my life" in march, and reminding them that i gave them 6 months.

 

im not gong to live like this, trapped in my own body and trapped in my house prison forever. this'll be the thiird concert this year that it would have been important for me to see, so that i have somthing to look forward to that isnt just laying here.

 

they all "Love me". so apprently that means i have to live and suffer at their behest...i cant pretend and dance on strings much longer, i get so tired of pretending.

 

"As much to my dismay
I am still alive today
An ever wonder what it will take
To fall asleep and never wake" The isotopes - Hurt


Edited by D Immortalis, 08 July 2019 - 08:01 AM.

_+-=-+DAEMON IMMORTALIS+-=-+_

 

Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#207 Destron D-69

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Posted 08 July 2019 - 01:40 PM

killing yourself wont let you see the concert either though... there's a major flaw in the logic here 



#208 D Immortalis

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Posted 08 July 2019 - 04:41 PM

but it punishes everyone who failed me.

 

 

EDIT: actually, let me expand a bit. 

 

See, when i was dieing, they all knew what to do when they saved my life against my wishes...as if i had never had feelings or spoken on thta subject before.

 

Now they've trapped me in this hell....they hugging owe me.

 

So, I told my best friend this morning, either I see that show or they can see me at my funeral. its as simple as that.

 

Im "loved" and im "needed" and im "wanted" and "important"...well its time to prove it.


Edited by D Immortalis, 08 July 2019 - 04:44 PM.

_+-=-+DAEMON IMMORTALIS+-=-+_

 

Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#209 Destron D-69

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Posted 09 July 2019 - 06:06 AM

do you think guilt tripping your loved ones into buying you concert tickets to prevent your suicide ..will make you feel good enough about your life that you wont just look for something else to kill yourself over as soon as you come down from the concert high?  



#210 Marduk

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Posted 09 July 2019 - 02:08 PM

I would suggest you call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline ASAP.

 

I would also suggest that if you don't have a therapist, find one ASAP.

 

Missing out on a band isn't worth killing yourself.

 

Even with what's going on with your health.

 

It sucks now. It can get better.

 

~Marduk



#211 D Immortalis

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Posted 10 July 2019 - 12:32 AM

do you think guilt tripping your loved ones into buying you concert tickets to prevent your suicide ..will make you feel good enough about your life that you wont just look for something else to kill yourself over as soon as you come down from the concert high?  

 

I know I come off as a selfish child in these kind of situations, but ive already missed a once in a lifetime concert this year when,  back on may 25th (a band called Leatherstrip, who at the age of 15 completely changed my life, played in Newark at the goth club we used to go to every weekend...before, like everything else in my life, my friends all stopped wanting to go to all the time, so I got screwed out of going...played there)...and because I didn't hve all the money for tickets...and see, that's another wrinkle in all this...IF its something I like, like a band or a movie or certain indie wrestling companies, I ALWAYS have to pay for EVERYONE, and not just admission, I gotta pay for dinner, I gotta pay for gas, etc...NO ONE ever says "hey luke, that thing you love? lets do that and for once it's on us!"

 

So not only have these people put me in this hell im in, they STILL don't care about anything that matters to me. THATS why I gave the ultimatum...In march they all cared so much, so that now ive been made into a true cripple...it wouldn't kill someone to FREAKIN' STEP UP!

 

besides, I gave them all 6 months...I said from the time I got into physical rehab that 6 months from that date is New York Comic-Con, which has now been taken from me...and I know that in 6 months time I will be no better, my pain will still be horrifying, I will still be trapped in the beaten, broken shell....dead inside...That that weekend seems poetic for me to end all of this...And all anyone has to do is show me that this messed up broken life their love has put me in WONT ALWAYS be this shitty, and that sometimes its not just words, but deeds that can be done to make me feel like I still exist.

 

And while yeah, its true that after I get one thing that something else will come up...but my pain isn't ending, so why should people helping me find something to look forward to so its not just a bleak empty future end?

 

 

 

I would suggest you call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline ASAP.

 

I would also suggest that if you don't have a therapist, find one ASAP.

 

Missing out on a band isn't worth killing yourself.

 

Even with what's going on with your health.

 

It sucks now. It can get better.

 

~Marduk

 

my therapist ended up being dropped by me because she never once came to see me in the hospital, or in recovery, or even for the first month I was home...so I am in search of both a psychologist and a psychiatrist...the problem is finding one who will come to me...getting out of the house is hard enough with all my doctors and physical therapy...im not adding more trips up and down the stairs and stuff...

 

I just got word about a group who might be able to help, I just have to contact them this week.


_+-=-+DAEMON IMMORTALIS+-=-+_

 

Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#212 Marduk

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Posted 10 July 2019 - 08:15 AM

Keep fighting. Because if you don't, that s**ty little bastard known as depression wins. And it wants nothing more than to win.

 

Try that group. Call around. Definitely find a psychologist to talk to. Hell, call the hotline and they should be able to give you someone to talk to.

 

But don't ever stop fighting.

 

~Marduk



#213 ultra magnus13

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 07:49 PM

do you think guilt tripping your loved ones into buying you concert tickets to prevent your suicide ..will make you feel good enough about your life that you wont just look for something else to kill yourself over as soon as you come down from the concert high?  

 
I know I come off as a selfish child in these kind of situations, but ive already missed a once in a lifetime concert this year when,  back on may 25th (a band called Leatherstrip, who at the age of 15 completely changed my life, played in Newark at the goth club we used to go to every weekend...before, like everything else in my life, my friends all stopped wanting to go to all the time, so I got screwed out of going...played there)...and because I didn't hve all the money for tickets...and see, that's another wrinkle in all this...IF its something I like, like a band or a movie or certain indie wrestling companies, I ALWAYS have to pay for EVERYONE, and not just admission, I gotta pay for dinner, I gotta pay for gas, etc...NO ONE ever says "hey luke, that thing you love? lets do that and for once it's on us!"
 
So not only have these people put me in this hell im in, they STILL don't care about anything that matters to me. THATS why I gave the ultimatum...In march they all cared so much, so that now ive been made into a true cripple...it wouldn't kill someone to FREAKIN' STEP UP!
 
besides, I gave them all 6 months...I said from the time I got into physical rehab that 6 months from that date is New York Comic-Con, which has now been taken from me...and I know that in 6 months time I will be no better, my pain will still be horrifying, I will still be trapped in the beaten, broken shell....dead inside...That that weekend seems poetic for me to end all of this...And all anyone has to do is show me that this messed up broken life their love has put me in WONT ALWAYS be this shitty, and that sometimes its not just words, but deeds that can be done to make me feel like I still exist.
 
And while yeah, its true that after I get one thing that something else will come up...but my pain isn't ending, so why should people helping me find something to look forward to so its not just a bleak empty future end?
 
 
 

I would suggest you call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline ASAP.
 
I would also suggest that if you don't have a therapist, find one ASAP.
 
Missing out on a band isn't worth killing yourself.
 
Even with what's going on with your health.
 
It sucks now. It can get better.
 
~Marduk

 
my therapist ended up being dropped by me because she never once came to see me in the hospital, or in recovery, or even for the first month I was home...so I am in search of both a psychologist and a psychiatrist...the problem is finding one who will come to me...getting out of the house is hard enough with all my doctors and physical therapy...im not adding more trips up and down the stairs and stuff...
 
I just got word about a group who might be able to help, I just have to contact them this week.

I don't mean to dog on you, but try to view the following with some perspective.

You are threatening to kill yourself if you don't get to leave the house to see a concert.

You will not leave the house to go get medical help for your mental health which could literally save your life.

You are placing seeing a musical act above both your mental and physical health.
I finally got rid of that big white box.

#214 Maruten

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Posted 11 July 2019 - 09:49 PM

These are fair points. I want to add though that it isn't necessarily as simple as "that's just a concert". Like, that sounds, at a (ear) glance, fairly mundane or trivial, but different things have different value to different people. A concert can be more than just a concert. It's okay for that experience to mean a lot, and a lot more than other people may understand. 

 

But also, yes, one does need to also prioritise other things and particularly so one's mental and physical health. 


WsuGTl1.jpg


#215 MEDdMI

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Posted 12 July 2019 - 08:07 AM

It could be considered a part of mental health. Sometimes you need something to enjoy, to take you out of your current situation for a little bit.
Still, I know you're in a lot of pain, but your friends and family are hurting too. I'm sure they're hoping that things will get better, even if you don't believe it.

#216 HellCat

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 07:16 AM

So UK is currently on course to crash out of EU on 31st October. Last week we got told work wants to block holidays that week and the week after. Won't tell us why. So when I get the chance I ask the store manager polietly "Is this because you're expecting us to be dealing with shortages from No Deal Brexit?". He prickles somewhat at the question, giving an inconsistent answer whilst claiming that isn't the reason. Next 2 times he sees me he's noticeably hostile with me and on Friday from a distance I overheard him talking to someone about problems Brexit will cause the business.

So if I'm still there, they're seemingly expecting us staff to deal with the chaos which could extend to looting and violence.

Additionally, had a dream last night my parents were still together. Their only response to me was telling me what an annoying disappointment I am.

#217 Destron D-69

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 07:32 AM

maybe start figuring out an escape route if things do turn to shit.  Also sorry about your dream, that's rough. 





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