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@  MEDdMI : (25 June 2019 - 07:06 AM)

I reject your canon and substitute my own

@  unluckiness : (25 June 2019 - 12:32 AM)

Answer: It doesn't matter because even if there was one, it was never relevant in S1 and it got blown up with his original body

@  PlutoniumBoss : (24 June 2019 - 10:55 PM)

Most people think Transformers canon is a series of discrete parallel lines, really it's more like a big ball of canony-wanony... stuff.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (24 June 2019 - 06:31 PM)

Hate to say this, but the simple answer is that you are thinking too hard and realistically, it does not matter.

@  TheMightyMol... : (24 June 2019 - 04:57 PM)

Don't tell me what to do.

@  Paladin : (24 June 2019 - 04:16 PM)

don't cross the streams.

@  tffan01 : (24 June 2019 - 03:03 PM)

Or is this what AVP meant when he said that condradictory streams formed the JG1 timeline?

@  tffan01 : (24 June 2019 - 02:25 PM)

I don't like that idea.

@  tffan01 : (24 June 2019 - 02:24 PM)

In Ask Vector Prime, it was mentioned that in the Beast Wars 2 universe, Convoys all have Energon Matrices and that when Optimus Primal from the Japanese Beast Wars stream was transported to the Beast Wars 2 stream, his history was subtly altered that he too possessed an Energon Matrix. What does this mean? That Beast Wars 2 is actually not canon to the Japanese Beast Wars?

@  MEDdMI : (24 June 2019 - 08:54 AM)

yeah, I've got a few others that I need to check out/get removed. The nose one is small but annoying since I hit it every time I blow my nose.

@  unluckiness : (24 June 2019 - 08:46 AM)

Try to get a histopath examination if it isn't too expensive over there. It's probably just a mole but I'd think certainty would be better.

@  MEDdMI : (24 June 2019 - 07:59 AM)

@unluckiness I know, plan to get it removed but gotta get an appt first

@  Gizmoboy : (24 June 2019 - 07:50 AM)

oops... typed that in the wrong field. :)

@  Gizmoboy : (24 June 2019 - 07:50 AM)

gizmoboy

@  unluckiness : (24 June 2019 - 03:18 AM)

That is not a good thing, especially in the long term

@  MEDdMI : (23 June 2019 - 10:17 PM)

So who wants to hear about this mole on my nose that I keep scratching open

@  NotVeryKnightly : (23 June 2019 - 09:24 PM)

Yeah, it's kind of defeating the purpose of making political discussions more restricted if you're just gonna go at it elsewhere on this site.

@  Telly : (23 June 2019 - 07:06 PM)

that would probly fit better in the p & r thread. its there for things just like this

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:29 PM)

The citizens resisted by buying up all the town's beer reserves so the Nazis would have to stay sober the entire time.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:28 PM)

Meanwhile, congratulations civil resistance, part 2: So a group of Nazis were holding one of their Good Old Times Reenactment festivals in a small East German town.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:26 PM)

It's basically like an anti-Trump candidate winning Texas.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:25 PM)

The mayoral elections of Istanbul are considered to be a key indicator for the political climate in the entire country.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:24 PM)

This time, it was a landslide victory for the opposition's candidate.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:23 PM)

After president Erdogan had a court revoke the results of the mayoral election of Istanbul after the opposition party's candidate had won by a small margin, the election was repeated today.

@  Nevermore : (23 June 2019 - 03:21 PM)

Congratulations, democracy part 1: Today is a historic day for Turkey.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (23 June 2019 - 02:31 PM)

Convert, does he timeout?

@  unluckiness : (23 June 2019 - 09:12 AM)

Did he form the feet and legs or the arms and body?

@  Patch : (22 June 2019 - 06:11 PM)

Nah, he was one of the Lions

@  MEDdMI : (22 June 2019 - 04:45 PM)

Is he a Shellformer

@  Nevermore : (22 June 2019 - 12:38 PM)

Supposedly it's about that football player Calvin Johnson.

@  Pennpenn : (22 June 2019 - 07:03 AM)

I'm vaguely confused why there is a Nicki Minaj song in my youtube reccomendations, but even more confused as to why that song (which appears to be from an official account) is called "MEGATRON".

@  Liege : (21 June 2019 - 10:03 PM)

Alpha Q all night long.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (21 June 2019 - 10:44 AM)

Only if you ask nicely, Silv.

@  RichardT1977 : (21 June 2019 - 09:42 AM)

1998 Zilla is the Gaijin era.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (21 June 2019 - 01:59 AM)

Alpha Q?

@  PlutoniumBoss : (21 June 2019 - 01:16 AM)

Alpha Q, and U, but not U.

@  Steevy Maximus : (20 June 2019 - 08:55 PM)

KISS Players

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 June 2019 - 07:15 PM)

Ultra Q

@  TheMightyMol... : (20 June 2019 - 03:15 PM)

So which series is 90s American Godzilla?

@  Dekafox : (20 June 2019 - 03:12 PM)

So G1 Marvel would be Showa Transformers then

@  NotVeryKnightly : (20 June 2019 - 12:37 PM)

Yes.

@  RichardT1977 : (20 June 2019 - 12:05 PM)

Is it weeby of me to refer to the two IDW TF continuities as Heisei and Reiwa? I mean, the switchover almost perfectly lines up with the change of eras...

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (20 June 2019 - 10:35 AM)

I hate when the spicy version of something isn't spicy!

@  Pennpenn : (20 June 2019 - 08:43 AM)

I hate it when the spicy version of something is in almost identical packaging to the non-spicy version. Especially when I don't notice until I've got home.

@  TheMightyMol... : (19 June 2019 - 05:44 PM)

They make a lot of pills for that.

@  Nevermore : (19 June 2019 - 05:42 PM)

I got the results of the test back. I definitely have no sense of humor.

@  Paladin : (18 June 2019 - 05:59 PM)

so anyway how is your sex life?

@  TheMightyMol... : (18 June 2019 - 10:50 AM)

These jokes are tearing me apart.

@  unluckiness : (18 June 2019 - 08:55 AM)

Only if the customer reviews give it all high marks.

@  Patch : (18 June 2019 - 04:42 AM)

Are they going to call it "I-Did-Nawtflix?"


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The importance of self-care

depression anxiety

9 replies to this topic

#1 CORVUS

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Posted 13 September 2016 - 11:34 PM

Greetings all.

 

I know I've been gone a while, and if it worried any of you, I apologize for the concern.

 

As most of you know, I suffer from depression, and I've talked about it here both publicly and privately before. Its been particularly bad this year, as has my anxiety. I bottomed out in May, feeling as if my medication was doing precious little to stave off my anxiety and sense of hopelessness, and decided to seek psychiatric care. However, I wasn't able to see anyone until late last month.

 

In the interim I've been in a self-preservation mode to reduce my anxiety. I barely had the emotional reserves to deal with people at work, and pretty much nothing else left over for dealing with anyone else outside of my family. I couldn't deal with most news, particularly political, and so I decided to stay away from social media, message-boards, and so on. Instead I buried myself in books, movies, TV shows, and Transformers customs.

 

Anyway, I finally started counseling again for the first time in years, and have been placed on an additional medication for anxiety. It helps, but leaves me physically exhausted for large chunks of time. Hopefully that will lessen as I adjust further to the medication. Despite the lessened anxiety, I'm still not likely to frequent facebook or P&R, at least not until the election has passed. Its just too irritating and upsetting.

 

Despite everything, I'm thankful: thankful that I had self-awareness to know when I had reached the end of my ability to cope and sought out help. I'm not proud of the way I tend to become a hermit when things are at their worst, but sometimes you have to do what you can to take care of yourself, even if its an imperfect solution. What I want out of my life is to be energized, active, and creative. I hope to find these things again on a consistent basis.

 

At any rate, I wanted to let people know that I'm on the mend, and hope everyone is doing well. I owe a couple of custom items to a couple of people as well, and will get that sorted too.

 

My best to everyone.


Edited by CORVUS, 13 September 2016 - 11:37 PM.

“She went around with the attitude that she would rather be beaten to death than take any shit.” - Stieg Larsson

 


#2 Cat

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Posted 13 September 2016 - 11:48 PM

Glad to have you back.

#3 Fnu Aw

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 12:08 AM

Glad to hear it's getting a little better. Never be ashamed of the way you've found to handle this. Doing something about it is always something to be proud of.


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#4 Patch

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 07:33 AM

Ah, that sounds like it got pretty rough for you, so I'm glad you're on the mend. And good to see you around again. :)

#5 D Immortalis

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 12:24 PM

I completely know where youre coming from, brother. After my suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization earlier this year, i've become much better at recognizing when I need to take a little extra care of my mental self.

 

The "hermit" part of it is one of the more crappier aspects, isn't it? My major issue with social media, when I'm at my worst, is what I refer to as "other peoples problems". Like, I'm laying in bed in pain, depressed, sad, and even knowing its the most self-centered thought process, I get angry that friends or family have problems and aren't thinking about my problems. It makes me feel like I don't exist. Or it'll be something like my mom will be talking about people we know going through things and i'll ask, "Do you think those people are sitting around talking about MY Pain?"...My therapist hopes i'll be able to work through the "i don't exist." thing soon.

 

And while more often than not​ I am angry at the hell that is my life, its been 7 months since Death was an option, and I am beyond thankful that said option is off the table.

 

I know I'm rambling, sorry, I'm just glad you're working on it and getting help. Help, in the form of therapy, and meds (when needed), saves lives. Best of luck with stuff, Corvus. =]


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Day One is over, The Future's approaching
The embers are glowing, we're spreading the ash


#6 The Doctor Who

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 02:47 PM

Glad you're on the upswing again, man.

I hear you on being thankful for being aware of what's going on in your head. Even if you can't stop it, at least you can seek out help.

Hope things stay that way for a good long time!

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#7 CORVUS

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 02:49 PM

Thank you for your post, D, I don't consider it rambling at all.

 

I'm glad you are doing better. I didn't go as far as an attempt, but I woke up one Sunday in May, and I sat here contemplating the .22 pistol in my drawer, and I could not promise myself or anyone else that I would not use it on myself. So, I got up, breaking down as I went, and got my wife and told her to please take the gun away, which she did. I subsequently called in to work that day (which I so rarely do) because I felt so totally defeated and brittle. I realized that I had put off counseling for far too long, and in the interim I sought an adjustment of my wellbutrin from my GP, which she agreed to. It took me a while to find therapy because of backlogs of available clinics, but I managed until I could do so.

 

Good luck to you as well, and thank you all: Cat, Patchouli, Fnu, D, and TDW  :)


Edited by CORVUS, 14 September 2016 - 02:51 PM.

“She went around with the attitude that she would rather be beaten to death than take any shit.” - Stieg Larsson

 


#8 Strafe

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 03:25 PM

I've been here long enough to notice when you go, and it's always good to see you come back.

I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I hope that places like this can provide an escape when you need it.



#9 DarkeklawGW

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Posted 14 September 2016 - 03:40 PM

You and I might not be the best of friends here on the Spark Corvus, but It's good to see you doing Better.   

As one of my favorite Comedians Kat Williams would say "You need to take care of your star player."  

Do what you need to get to that place where the monster inside isn't dragging you down.  I need you around to argue with... DAMNIT


For Bella Rose Fraizer-Grant Sept 8, 2011 to Nov 26th 2011... Pop-pop will always love you!!!!

 


#10 PlutoniumBoss

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Posted 15 September 2016 - 12:44 AM

I know what you guys mean about the hermit thing. I have a panic disorder, and I call it the turtle response. I just kind of withdraw from things. Even good things, if there's too much going on. Years ago I used to play that vampire game where you'd post your links to get bites, and I got into a fairly busy clan. Every time I logged on to ICQ (remember huggin' ICQ?) I'd immediately get spammed with at least a half dozen friends wanting to talk. And so I stopped playing or even logging on to IMs , even though I was having fun, because.. I don't know. I couldn't process it all? I haven't used an instant messenger since then, come to think of it.


Edited by PlutoniumBoss, 15 September 2016 - 12:46 AM.

In need of Movie Arcee's missile, PM me if you have a spare.



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