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@  Bass X0 : (20 May 2019 - 11:16 AM)

SEND THE BOOKS!!

@  Cybersnark : (20 May 2019 - 08:52 AM)

So, now that Game of Thrones is over, when can we get back to The Dragon Prince?

@  unluckiness : (20 May 2019 - 12:19 AM)

Like, half of them nowadays are montages of tweet screencaps from the writer's inbox

@  unluckiness : (20 May 2019 - 12:18 AM)

lol you expected integrity from internet news

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 11:33 PM)

I'm mostly confused how news sites went from "Analysing all the amazingness of Game of Thrones" to "Fans sure don't like this season!", like... way to prioritize clicks over a solid editorial opinion

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 11:30 PM)

[and there's a recurring setting of a "derelict industrial site"] is this like the Toei Quarry?

@  MEDdMI : (19 May 2019 - 11:17 PM)

@Foffy and then that giant lasagna just tipped over and killed everyone, to be later known as the infamous Bad Monday event.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 PM)

Ahahaha!!! Go read the reactions for yourself. To say anything more here risks spoiling the finale for subscribing Allsparkers, the quality of this season notwithstanding.

@  Foffy : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 PM)

pretty wild how heathcliff was in the game of thrones finale, i was not expecting that crossover

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 10:48 PM)

were they still super pissed?

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (19 May 2019 - 10:48 PM)

Well, as someone who is not into Game of Thrones, it sure was entertaining to open up social media this evening to unexpectedly see headlines about fan reactions to the finale. Lmao.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:12 PM)

But it's also a SUPER-well known location in my region, so these extensive exterior shots without any post production alterations completely ruin the illusion for me.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:11 PM)

I mean, I get why they did it: It's an existing location that fits the purpose, it's open for the public, and they had to shoot some scenes in my home state anyway to due a subsidizing deal.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:09 PM)

Needless to say, it's not in Berlin, and even what's seen onscreen is waaaaay too modern for something that's supposed to exist in 1929 (even moreso as a derelict site in 1929). The structures seen haven't even been built until the 1960s!

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:07 PM)

I'm currently in the process of watching season 2 of Babylon Berlin, and there's a recurring setting of a "derelict industrial site" or whatever it's supposed to be on the show, and I easily recognize it as a place only a few minutes from where I live (it's actually a former ironworks site that's been turned into a public park).

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:52 PM)

Ever since I went to Japan last year, I have friend who dread watching anime with me due to that...

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:51 PM)

Not hugely, but I am the type to notice places once I have been there and say "Hey, I've been there!"

@  wonko the sane? : (19 May 2019 - 05:50 PM)

Half of new york city (on tape.) is actually montreal.

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 05:50 PM)

I watched Death Wish 5 last night and clearly recognized Toronto streets; didn't pull me out of Bronson's 1-man war on drugs or fashion or whatever it was that pissed him off that time

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 05:49 PM)

it's nice to finally be thought of as exotic by somebody! lol

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 05:48 PM)

In an "I cannot possibly make my brain ignore the location I'm familiar with and pretend it's whatever the story claims it is" way?

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 05:42 PM)

Question for those of you living in exotic locations such as the US or the UK: If you watch a movie or a TV show that features a real-life location as a stand-in for someplace else, and you recognize the real-life location due to having been there in person, does that pull you out of the story?

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:15 PM)

Maybe you should have installed macOS in your house instead.

@  Noideaforaname : (19 May 2019 - 04:40 PM)

Nothing like coming home after a long day to find a bird in the house. And then once you sit down for a well-earned rest after leading the bird back outside, you find it had a friend. A friend who *really* doesn't understand how windows work...

@  PlutoniumBoss : (19 May 2019 - 01:26 PM)

Bingo. The big polls don't tell people what's actually happening because that doesn't sell.

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 AM)

IIRC there are good polls but data is easily manipulated so they give people what they want to hear

@  wonko the sane? : (19 May 2019 - 10:58 AM)

The only way to get people interested in politics is to make into reality TV. So they lie to do it.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (19 May 2019 - 01:38 AM)

Yeah, polling these days is garbage.

@  Sean Whitmore : (18 May 2019 - 11:53 PM)

Well, he was an honest man. He wasn’t gonna lie to a 5-year-old.

@  Paladin : (18 May 2019 - 08:34 PM)

Grandfather once said to me, "I'm going upstairs and hug your grandma."

@  Sabrblade : (18 May 2019 - 07:08 PM)

Mama always said that you can tell a lot 'bout a person from 'is shoes...

@  TheMightyMol... : (18 May 2019 - 03:54 PM)

Life is like a box of chocolates. Stay out of the sun or melt into a pile of gross slop.

@  wonko the sane? : (18 May 2019 - 10:26 AM)

Greasy, disappointing and still managing to be over priced?

@  Lancer : (18 May 2019 - 10:22 AM)

... Yes, it is!

@  Noideaforaname : (18 May 2019 - 09:48 AM)

Life's a fillet of fish!

@  unluckiness : (18 May 2019 - 08:53 AM)

ow the edge

@  Paladin : (18 May 2019 - 07:03 AM)

a reminder that life is an unrepentant hellscape where everyone & everything you know will eventually betray you.

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 06:45 AM)

You know, this election is what has finally broken me of any confidence at any point of pre-polling data. I mean, it's always been sketchy, but this is just... aaaargh!

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 06:08 AM)

I was going to make an Auspol election thread in P&R, but the outcome so far has made me feel physically ill.

@  Gamma V : (18 May 2019 - 03:28 AM)

Haven't been here in a long time.

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 03:16 AM)

I have heard that, it's rather disappointing. Ah, maybe they'll just leech each others stores of "awful racist vote" and not go anywhere.

@  Trpodeca : (17 May 2019 - 11:09 PM)

I voted. Boy there are a worrying amount of parties which sound like fascists.

@  Pennpenn : (17 May 2019 - 06:55 PM)

For those in Australia, it is a federal election today. Go Vote! It's Mandatory!

@  TheMightyMol... : (17 May 2019 - 04:19 PM)

Humor? I 'ardly know 'or!

@  wonko the sane? : (17 May 2019 - 03:51 PM)

I was intemately familiar with humour... but she just wanted to be friends...

@  Maximus Ambus : (17 May 2019 - 12:10 PM)

BZT Time out! Time out! Time ooooooouuuuuut!!!

@  unluckiness : (17 May 2019 - 08:23 AM)

Yes. Are you familiar with humor?

@  Sabrblade : (17 May 2019 - 07:50 AM)

You are familiar with The Room, yes?

@  unluckiness : (17 May 2019 - 01:14 AM)

nah, tuxedos are formal wear

@  Sabrblade : (16 May 2019 - 10:38 PM)

*...while dressed in a tuxedo*


Photo
* * * * * 5 votes

The Official Unofficial Allspark Transgender Thread: Everyone is welcome!

transgender gender identity

2441 replies to this topic

#41 Destron D-69

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 06:30 PM

I read it the way you intended it StarSaber, but people don't often follow my posts the way I think they read. so I may not be the best help lol.  Its a very sensitive issue for a good number of reasons for a great many people, if this miscommunication is the worst we get in this thread we're doing okay.



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#42 Princess Viola

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 07:13 PM

I read it the way you intended it StarSaber, but people don't often follow my posts the way I think they read. so I may not be the best help lol.  Its a very sensitive issue for a good number of reasons for a great many people, if this miscommunication is the worst we get in this thread we're doing okay.

It'll be better than a forum I go on where there are users who actually want trans* people to be branded with a mark showing that they're trans*.


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#43 Paladin

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 07:21 PM

I worry a lot about accidentally offending alternately-gendered persons through ignorance. Is "trans" usually the socially-acceptable term? 


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#44 2016 II

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 07:27 PM

So if this thread exists, there is absolutely not reason for me to be continuing in this "Gender: Not Telling" business.  [Fixes]

 

Where does that feeling come from? How do you first identify it and what.. I dunno.. what things could you list that you knew were wrong that makes you identify or fixate on one gender identity or the other? How do YOU define your own gender enough to know it's not right.

 

What's the springboard or the catalyst for this identity?

For me at least, this has been a weird and confusing experience and (other than an intangible feeling of something being wrong,) I'm not completely sure I can identify why I feel this way.  Cognitively.  Neurologically, I'm fairly certain that specific parts of the parietal lobe have been mapped to specific parts of the body, suggesting that an out-of-the-box parietal is already optimized for use with the human body.  Since we know that male and female brains are different to start with, it seems logical to assume that they're designed to expect their sex's characteristics, and might not even have a hardwired understanding of the opposite sex's.  Hence a transsexual's genitals feel like a deformation, because not only is the parietal expecting something else, it's probably rendering the sensory input wrong and might not even recognize it as human anatomy.  And if the parietal is aware of what is/isn't supposed to happen at puberty, things get even more uncanny.

 

Personally though, the real tipping point that made me accept being transsexual was when I decided that being female sounded like it fit me more than being male.  The list of common estrogen side-effects look like a list of unfair stat buffs to me, I frequently prefer feminine aesthetics, I have no love for manliness, and IRL I'm always awkward around people because they seem to be expecting me to act in ways I don't want to.  So it was partly a mental/social decision for me, too.

 

 

Everybody get ready for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering question of the century

 

How do you decide which bathroom to use? If you changed, was it weird going to the "opposite world" from what you were used to?

Considering how often I need to double-check the signage three times to reassure myself I'm not walking into the wrong bathroom, I don't think I could possibly walk into the wrong one on accident when I do get to transition.  Though I don't know if this sort of paranoia is normal for all transsexuals, even though the author of Whipping Girl (that book Copper mentioned) said she had the problem as well.  Though I imagine there's a really awkward androgynous period during transition where both bathrooms are the wrong one.


Tired of this forum shitting on me.


#45 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:00 PM

Everybody get ready for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering question of the century

 

How do you decide which bathroom to use? If you changed, was it weird going to the "opposite world" from what you were used to?

 

That's actually a hugely loaded question whether you know it or not... (and yes, I know the question was asked in innocence!)

 

First off let me say you've actually found a topic I'm not comfortable about discussing in regards to myself!

Being transgender and in that flux state and dealing with bathrooms is traumatizing. Why? Because you read all these stories about pompous asses calling store security or even the cops on trans people who "don't belong" in whatever bathroom they happen to be in.

 

The quick answer is this: trans men go in the men's room, trans women go in the women's room. Unless you're some sort of nut, and  want the genital police to set up shop, give everyone a quick once over on the way in. Maybe the TSA? They're good at making everyone uncomfortable, angry, and like to ridicule trans people too!

 

And to your second question, five words: THE MEN'S ROOM IS DISGUSTING.

 

Kira,

I didn't mean to offend you but I think you may have misconstrued my statement. I never said you didn't reject your physical sex. What I said was that if you only lived as a female part-time and that it WASN'T because of outside factors that made it difficult or even impossible then it would seem to me that you hadn't completely rejected it. However, since outside factors WERE at play then my following statement clearly didn't apply.

I apologize if my assertion was confusing.

Thanks for clarifying.

-SS

 

OK, but really if someone says they're trans and they're living part-time there is always an outside factor! Otherwise they're simply mis-classifying themselves... they might be genderqueer or genderfluid instead. (which I guess are part of the trans spectrum, but not what people classically think of)

 

 

I read it the way you intended it StarSaber, but people don't often follow my posts the way I think they read. so I may not be the best help lol.  Its a very sensitive issue for a good number of reasons for a great many people, if this miscommunication is the worst we get in this thread we're doing okay.

It'll be better than a forum I go on where there are users who actually want trans* people to be branded with a mark showing that they're trans*.

 

 

That's supremely disgusting!

Actually branded? I hate to throw around the term Nazi without good reason (my grandma had relatives who died in concentration camps, so yeah) but actually branding people! Jeez. Sick bastards.

I'm assuming they're straight cis men afraid of accidentally romantically interacting with a trans woman and instantly becoming super gay. Asses like that piss me off!

Two points guys like that need to learn:

-All women don't exist as just sex objects, existing only for them to hit on.

-Trans women aren't "traps" secretly working to make straight men gay.

I'm sure there's other ones I can't think of right now but we'll start small, heh.

 

 

Oh, and going back, something I wanted to add before about growing up... besides Transformers when I was very young my favorite toys were my Cabbage Patch Baby(?) (he was named Dallas, was bald, and my great grandmother made red overalls for him!) and Teddy Rupskin. I used to watch Jem all the time, like nonstop... I even started my own imaginary band! It was truly, truly outrageous! I realize that when I started Kindergarten is when I first notice that I was playing with things and doing things "my gender" shouldn't, and out of fear and want of normalcy and to fit in I sort of conformed to what was expected of me as much as I could.

 

It's horrible that any child, trans or not, should feel pressured that way.
 


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#46 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:07 PM

I worry a lot about accidentally offending alternately-gendered persons through ignorance. Is "trans" usually the socially-acceptable term? 

 

Yep, it's a bit less formal but good in everyday conversation.

Also good:

Transgender (NOT transgendered)

Trans woman

Trans man

Trans person

Woman

Man

Person

 

Just to name a few. Of course make sure the man/woman part matches with the identity of who you're talking to or about!

And just in case anyone is curious, the "trans" is usually separated from the noun because it's just another adjective.

Like I am a trans woman, not a transwoman.


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#47 Princess Viola

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:14 PM

Actually branded? I hate to throw around the term Nazi without good reason (my grandma had relatives who died in concentration camps, so yeah) but actually branding people! Jeez. Sick bastards.

I'm assuming they're straight cis men afraid of accidentally romantically interacting with a trans woman and instantly becoming super gay. Asses like that piss me off!

Well it was one user who eventually got banned a few weeks later, so yeah. (The guy who runs the site doesn't ban controversial opinions since a draw of the site is debate, although he (well, the mods, he doesn't post on the forums) will ban you for trolling even if you actually hold those opinions)

 

 

And just in case anyone is curious, the "trans" is usually separated from the noun because it's just another adjective.

I've always crunched the trans and the noun together. :\

 

No one has ever told me that was wrong.


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#48 Shenanigans

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:18 PM

I actually went in the woman's room by accident when I was 13...but I didn't realise until I came out the cubicle and there were loads of women staring at me! I played it cool though and washed my hands, even dried them (gotta finish what you started) and nobody even said a thing. Thank God for other people's social awkwardness.


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#49 Esser-Z

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:19 PM

Different people do it differently. Most of my trans friends mash the trans onto there.



#50 StarSaber

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:25 PM

You mention "traps" and that brings up another question.

It seems to me that the term and its implication would be deemed highly offensive in the TG community and yet I've noticed that a large number of young trans women have embraced it as a term indicating one in transition. It is particularly popular among teens.

How does the community feel about that? Is it widely viewed as acceptable or as an insult...or does it depend on the company you keep?

-SS

Edited by StarSaber, 02 July 2014 - 08:34 PM.


#51 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:26 PM

 

Actually branded? I hate to throw around the term Nazi without good reason (my grandma had relatives who died in concentration camps, so yeah) but actually branding people! Jeez. Sick bastards.

I'm assuming they're straight cis men afraid of accidentally romantically interacting with a trans woman and instantly becoming super gay. Asses like that piss me off!

Well it was one user who eventually got banned a few weeks later, so yeah. (The guy who runs the site doesn't ban controversial opinions since a draw of the site is debate, although he (well, the mods, he doesn't post on the forums) will ban you for trolling even if you actually hold those opinions)

 

 

And just in case anyone is curious, the "trans" is usually separated from the noun because it's just another adjective.

I've always crunched the trans and the noun together. :\

 

No one has ever told me that was wrong.

 

 

I don't think it's wrong, I've just seen the other way (separated) used more often.

And the reasoning makes sense... I'm not just a "transwoman", I'm a cool, intelligent, pretty, friendly, trans, pansexual woman. They all describe me!

 

I actually went in the woman's room by accident when I was 13...but I didn't realise until I came out the cubicle and there were loads of women staring at me! I played it cool though and washed my hands, even dried them (gotta finish what you started) and nobody even said a thing. Thank God for other people's social awkwardness.

 

Lmao, nice.
Although your age and the fact you weren't wearing women's clothes might have helped. The looneys probably would be annoyed at a full grown man in the women's room, but they'd be absolutely LIVID and confrontational over a trans woman in there (or as they might see it, "a man in a dress")

If someone tried to tell me I don't belong in the women's room I hope I remember to say something snappy like "Honey, like I dress like this just so I could sneak a peek at you." And then laugh in their face. (note: I'm not brave enough to say that)
 


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#52 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:29 PM

You mention "traps" and that brings up another question.

It seems to me that the term and its implication would be deemed highly offensive in the TG community and yet I've noticed that a large number of young transwomen have embraced it as a term indicating one in transition. It is particularly popular among teens.

How does the community feel about that? Is it widely viewed as acceptable or as an insult...or does it depend on the company you keep?

-SS

 

Depends on who it is.

 

I personally don't like it because of what it implies. But some girls use it ironically, or even truly embrace it. And some self-called traps aren't actually transgender girls, instead being crossressers.


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#53 Aida Mana-Sue

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:40 PM

One of my trans friends uses it very casually because of that, and one used to use it but now finds it offensive (But doesn't tell people what to do).

 

I lean more towards the latter than the former (For context in anime there's already a perfectly acceptable term without negative connotations), but I'm not about to tell her what terms she should or shouldn't use!


Edited by Aida Mana-Sue, 02 July 2014 - 08:40 PM.

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#54 Detour

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:54 PM

 

You mention "traps" and that brings up another question.

It seems to me that the term and its implication would be deemed highly offensive in the TG community and yet I've noticed that a large number of young transwomen have embraced it as a term indicating one in transition. It is particularly popular among teens.

How does the community feel about that? Is it widely viewed as acceptable or as an insult...or does it depend on the company you keep?

-SS

 

Depends on who it is.

 

I personally don't like it because of what it implies. But some girls use it ironically, or even truly embrace it. And some self-called traps aren't actually transgender girls, instead being crossressers.

I even see some people use "traps" to refer to effeminate, non-crossdressing and non-transgendered men. It means everything and nothing.

(also on this thread I'm now seeing ads for transsexual singles)


You're far too young to be this bitter and angry at the world....

I'm reading that with Roy's voice. Heck, I read everything you post in a laconic Irish accent.

 


#55 Esser-Z

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 08:55 PM

Only Admiral Ackbar is allowed to use "trap".



#56 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 09:16 PM

So is it ok if I touch on something more personal?

The last few weeks have actually been a bunch of ups and downs for me, with the dsyphoria and regrets hitting me hard, and a breast cancer scare or two (which is almost 100% me being an anxious hypochondriac). There was a lot of crying too. Basically I was hurting hard that I wasn't "normal", that I couldn't just have been born with a matching gender and sex, and that I struggle SO HARD just so I can have the same basic opportunities and experiences that most other people enjoy.

And there was this guy, who I've been friends with for years, and we reconnected online this year and he is super accepting and we picked up where we left off basically. Buuuut I've always had this huge crush on him (dare I say I love him?) and I was upset that even though he accepts me as a woman and is cool about it, that he will never see me only as a woman. I'm always going to be that "guy" he knew too (but I'm so glad he met me after I accepted I was trans, and grew my hair out, starting plucking my brows, and just looking more androgynous... phew...) and I don't think he could ever see me like I want him too.
SO I was filled with regret over all of it, wondering "WHYYYYY?", and just feeling sorry for myself.

 

Then something just snapped. I pulled a full 360 and picked myself up. I got angry, and I focused it and knocked away those thoughts.

So I posted this on my facebook wall after, and I think it's good enough to share (now with Allspark friendly censoring!):

"You know what? HUG THAT.

I'm awesome. And while it might be easier to be normal, who the hug wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Hell, no girl is truly normal.

I'm probably the coolest, smartest, kindest, and most interesting person anyone will ever meet. Any guy, girl, or sentient machine would be beyond lucky to date me. People should be beating down my door, lavishing me with gifts in an attempt to woo me.

I am the most hugging awesome girl you will ever meet.
"

 

And I still stand by it. It is all truth.

As for the guy, we still talk and are cool. Still hoping against hope that someday he'll notice me, but I'm not waiting around for him either. Heh.


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#57 FortMax

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 09:22 PM

And Peppy Hare.
QUOTE(Hasbro)
Paramount Home Entertainment will be releasing RANSFORMERS CYBERTRON on 9.13.05

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#58 Zek

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 09:40 PM

 

"You know what? HUG THAT.

I'm awesome. And while it might be easier to be normal, who the hug wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Hell, no girl is truly normal.

I'm probably the coolest, smartest, kindest, and most interesting person anyone will ever meet. Any guy, girl, or sentient machine would be beyond lucky to date me. People should be beating down my door, lavishing me with gifts in an attempt to woo me.

I am the most hugging awesome girl you will ever meet.
"

This is the absolute best attitude no matter what your situation is and applies to nearly everyone. I say "nearly" cuz some people are asshats but still manage to do alright.

 

Your ability to make it through this struggle speaks only to the amount of strength that you harbor inside you, the potential that every person on the planet has to overcome hardships. To dig deep down, discover what the problem is, stare it right in the face, and then punch it right back in that face. Sure, you might hurt your hand and this may only be round 1, but the point is you had the courage to throw the punch in the first place.

 

It's nothing short of admirable, really. 


Edited by Zek, 02 July 2014 - 09:40 PM.


#59 2019

2019

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 10:19 PM

I'm a gay lady, so I've thought about becoming a man in order to have more luck on the dating scene (or at least more masculine).

 

But part of me is surprisingly traditional in that I can't see gender not being binary.

 

Well, more like I see it as a sliding scale. Everyone is a mix of masculine or feminine traits, but I don't think there's any sort of other classifications, just that everyone is different in levels of masculinity or femininity, and can be masculine or feminine about certain things.


PM me if you're bored!


#60 Destron D-69

Destron D-69

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 10:32 PM

I'm not really cool with labels in general, so I just call people by their names.  It's mostly a respect thing- that and I like to think it sends the signal that I like you enough to not just 'hey you' at you.

 

screen names included ... cause honestly at this point You guys would get a quicker response from me on the street calling me Destron then you would Jon, lol I usually think people are calling to somebody else when I hear that name.

 

so ladies, if we ever meet in person give me your screen name and I will respect the hell out of your choice of either hug or handshake.

 

lol


Edited by Destron D-69, 02 July 2014 - 10:34 PM.


"Does the Boss look different to you?" "She Looks Hot." "So that's a no then?"




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