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@  Bass X0 : (20 May 2019 - 11:16 AM)

SEND THE BOOKS!!

@  Cybersnark : (20 May 2019 - 08:52 AM)

So, now that Game of Thrones is over, when can we get back to The Dragon Prince?

@  unluckiness : (20 May 2019 - 12:19 AM)

Like, half of them nowadays are montages of tweet screencaps from the writer's inbox

@  unluckiness : (20 May 2019 - 12:18 AM)

lol you expected integrity from internet news

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 11:33 PM)

I'm mostly confused how news sites went from "Analysing all the amazingness of Game of Thrones" to "Fans sure don't like this season!", like... way to prioritize clicks over a solid editorial opinion

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 11:30 PM)

[and there's a recurring setting of a "derelict industrial site"] is this like the Toei Quarry?

@  MEDdMI : (19 May 2019 - 11:17 PM)

@Foffy and then that giant lasagna just tipped over and killed everyone, to be later known as the infamous Bad Monday event.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 PM)

Ahahaha!!! Go read the reactions for yourself. To say anything more here risks spoiling the finale for subscribing Allsparkers, the quality of this season notwithstanding.

@  Foffy : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 PM)

pretty wild how heathcliff was in the game of thrones finale, i was not expecting that crossover

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 10:48 PM)

were they still super pissed?

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (19 May 2019 - 10:48 PM)

Well, as someone who is not into Game of Thrones, it sure was entertaining to open up social media this evening to unexpectedly see headlines about fan reactions to the finale. Lmao.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:12 PM)

But it's also a SUPER-well known location in my region, so these extensive exterior shots without any post production alterations completely ruin the illusion for me.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:11 PM)

I mean, I get why they did it: It's an existing location that fits the purpose, it's open for the public, and they had to shoot some scenes in my home state anyway to due a subsidizing deal.

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:09 PM)

Needless to say, it's not in Berlin, and even what's seen onscreen is waaaaay too modern for something that's supposed to exist in 1929 (even moreso as a derelict site in 1929). The structures seen haven't even been built until the 1960s!

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 06:07 PM)

I'm currently in the process of watching season 2 of Babylon Berlin, and there's a recurring setting of a "derelict industrial site" or whatever it's supposed to be on the show, and I easily recognize it as a place only a few minutes from where I live (it's actually a former ironworks site that's been turned into a public park).

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:52 PM)

Ever since I went to Japan last year, I have friend who dread watching anime with me due to that...

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:51 PM)

Not hugely, but I am the type to notice places once I have been there and say "Hey, I've been there!"

@  wonko the sane? : (19 May 2019 - 05:50 PM)

Half of new york city (on tape.) is actually montreal.

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 05:50 PM)

I watched Death Wish 5 last night and clearly recognized Toronto streets; didn't pull me out of Bronson's 1-man war on drugs or fashion or whatever it was that pissed him off that time

@  TM2-Megatron : (19 May 2019 - 05:49 PM)

it's nice to finally be thought of as exotic by somebody! lol

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 05:48 PM)

In an "I cannot possibly make my brain ignore the location I'm familiar with and pretend it's whatever the story claims it is" way?

@  Nevermore : (19 May 2019 - 05:42 PM)

Question for those of you living in exotic locations such as the US or the UK: If you watch a movie or a TV show that features a real-life location as a stand-in for someplace else, and you recognize the real-life location due to having been there in person, does that pull you out of the story?

@  Xellos : (19 May 2019 - 05:15 PM)

Maybe you should have installed macOS in your house instead.

@  Noideaforaname : (19 May 2019 - 04:40 PM)

Nothing like coming home after a long day to find a bird in the house. And then once you sit down for a well-earned rest after leading the bird back outside, you find it had a friend. A friend who *really* doesn't understand how windows work...

@  PlutoniumBoss : (19 May 2019 - 01:26 PM)

Bingo. The big polls don't tell people what's actually happening because that doesn't sell.

@  fourteenwings : (19 May 2019 - 10:59 AM)

IIRC there are good polls but data is easily manipulated so they give people what they want to hear

@  wonko the sane? : (19 May 2019 - 10:58 AM)

The only way to get people interested in politics is to make into reality TV. So they lie to do it.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (19 May 2019 - 01:38 AM)

Yeah, polling these days is garbage.

@  Sean Whitmore : (18 May 2019 - 11:53 PM)

Well, he was an honest man. He wasn’t gonna lie to a 5-year-old.

@  Paladin : (18 May 2019 - 08:34 PM)

Grandfather once said to me, "I'm going upstairs and hug your grandma."

@  Sabrblade : (18 May 2019 - 07:08 PM)

Mama always said that you can tell a lot 'bout a person from 'is shoes...

@  TheMightyMol... : (18 May 2019 - 03:54 PM)

Life is like a box of chocolates. Stay out of the sun or melt into a pile of gross slop.

@  wonko the sane? : (18 May 2019 - 10:26 AM)

Greasy, disappointing and still managing to be over priced?

@  Lancer : (18 May 2019 - 10:22 AM)

... Yes, it is!

@  Noideaforaname : (18 May 2019 - 09:48 AM)

Life's a fillet of fish!

@  unluckiness : (18 May 2019 - 08:53 AM)

ow the edge

@  Paladin : (18 May 2019 - 07:03 AM)

a reminder that life is an unrepentant hellscape where everyone & everything you know will eventually betray you.

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 06:45 AM)

You know, this election is what has finally broken me of any confidence at any point of pre-polling data. I mean, it's always been sketchy, but this is just... aaaargh!

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 06:08 AM)

I was going to make an Auspol election thread in P&R, but the outcome so far has made me feel physically ill.

@  Gamma V : (18 May 2019 - 03:28 AM)

Haven't been here in a long time.

@  Pennpenn : (18 May 2019 - 03:16 AM)

I have heard that, it's rather disappointing. Ah, maybe they'll just leech each others stores of "awful racist vote" and not go anywhere.

@  Trpodeca : (17 May 2019 - 11:09 PM)

I voted. Boy there are a worrying amount of parties which sound like fascists.

@  Pennpenn : (17 May 2019 - 06:55 PM)

For those in Australia, it is a federal election today. Go Vote! It's Mandatory!

@  TheMightyMol... : (17 May 2019 - 04:19 PM)

Humor? I 'ardly know 'or!

@  wonko the sane? : (17 May 2019 - 03:51 PM)

I was intemately familiar with humour... but she just wanted to be friends...

@  Maximus Ambus : (17 May 2019 - 12:10 PM)

BZT Time out! Time out! Time ooooooouuuuuut!!!

@  unluckiness : (17 May 2019 - 08:23 AM)

Yes. Are you familiar with humor?

@  Sabrblade : (17 May 2019 - 07:50 AM)

You are familiar with The Room, yes?

@  unluckiness : (17 May 2019 - 01:14 AM)

nah, tuxedos are formal wear

@  Sabrblade : (16 May 2019 - 10:38 PM)

*...while dressed in a tuxedo*


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The Official Unofficial Allspark Transgender Thread: Everyone is welcome!

transgender gender identity

2441 replies to this topic

#21 Kalidor

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 10:58 AM

I've touched on this before but I've still not really grasped it so maybe it can be revisited here.

 

Basically, as I understand it, the premise is such that inside you feel like one sex and on the outside your body is defined as another. Speaking as a male who was born a male, I can't understand exactly how that works.

 

Let me explain.

 

I don't identify as male. If you asked me to quantify what it is to be male, the first thing I'd say is "Well, it's something I don't really think about." But even when I DO think about it, such as now, I still can't tell you what it feels to be male or female. I have tried to break it down and think "Okay, this is what makes me a male" and I can't think of any innate encapsulation of that. I could say "Well, it's because I love farting and because I'm strong and tall" but those aren't really defined by biology, as there are women as tall as me and women who enjoy farting and laugh when they do. I could say it's because I don't have any desire to wear a dress, wear make up or paint my nails but those again are social constructs and only apply to the modern western world.

 

I don't feel like *any* gender so I don't grasp how someone could feel like the wrong one. Now certainly, this isn't meant as a rebuttal to what you are and what you feel, it's just me explaining how I want to understand it because for all practical purposes I can't.

 

Where does that feeling come from? How do you first identify it and what.. I dunno.. what things could you list that you knew were wrong that makes you identify or fixate on one gender identity or the other? How do YOU define your own gender enough to know it's not right.

 

What's the springboard or the catalyst for this identity?



#22 Fero McPigletron

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:30 PM

I'm a gay male and I don't identify as a female at all (I like man parts, haha) but I'm pretty happy that the folks here have access to that hormone thing. Where I'm from, transitioning from one gender to another isn't common, in style or affordable. They just resort to being transvestites.

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#23 Esser-Z

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:47 PM

I'll let somebody else explain in more detail, 'cause I'm at work and stuff, Kal, but the gist of dysphoria is that you feel wrong in your body. Like, imagine if you KNEW you should have two arms, but an arm and an extra leg instead. It's probably a bad metaphor, but that's the sort of idea.



#24 Zek

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:10 PM

I'll admit, when I first read the thread I thought "well that'll only have like 3 people in it" but I'm surprised at the number of people who the thread applies to. I'm just a boring ol' straight dude so I'm in Kal's boat on this. I'm both fascinated and confused by most things surrounding these gender issues since I've never had any experience with it.

 

It could also be that I really don't really care what you identify as or wish you were just as long as the person you are isn't a total butthole.

 

Needless to say, I am glad that this is exists and am happy that those of you who are unsure or haven't had anyone to talk to about these issues can have a friendly place to go for support and such.



#25 Strafe

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:36 PM

People are interesting, to me. I don't have any experience or associations regarding this topic at all, and I understand very little of it, so I'm happy to observe respectfully and learn.



#26 Kalidor

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:41 PM

I'll let somebody else explain in more detail, 'cause I'm at work and stuff, Kal, but the gist of dysphoria is that you feel wrong in your body. Like, imagine if you KNEW you should have two arms, but an arm and an extra leg instead. It's probably a bad metaphor, but that's the sort of idea.

 

And that's where I have trouble grasping it. The arm analogy would only make sense since I already know what it's like to have 2 arms and if they turned up missing I'd definitely notice -- but alternatively, I can't imagine what it might feel like to know that I should have 2 *extra* arms, or wings or anything else I don't have a point of reference for. If you've never known it in the first place, how can you miss it?



#27 Esser-Z

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:44 PM

The brain is a complicated, complicated thing, Kal. I'm not sure it's something you really CAN understand without experiencing some form of it.



#28 Copper Bezel

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:48 PM

I don't know, isn't it sort of like the experience of sexual preference? I mean, fundamentally, what is it in your brain that says that this is "attractive for an X, but I'm into Y" and that is "I want to bang it"? The difference is pretty subtle, and ultimately just an invisible assignment of gender we're doing in our heads. And we do that with ourselves, too....

 

(Don't misunderstand - I'm not conflating any issues relating to transgender stuff as being really linked to sexual preference, just grasping for a comparison.)

 

Another case would be, what archetypes or characters do you find yourself relating to, what roles do you insert yourself into in stories, etc. But that's complicated by a lot of other factors. 

 

Subconscious sex is separate from gender expression, sexual preference, and a whole host of other things, and where it seems to overlap makes it hard to pin down - but it's definitely a real thing that's in there. After reading Julia Serano's Whipping Girl when someone suggested it in that thread I started on the question you're posing, Kalidor, I got a little more sense of what it is, but I still don't feel like I can fully isolate and interrogate it even in myself. (Doesn't help that I seem to be somewhere in the neutral zone myself.)


Shouldn't gravity be doing something?
 
Of course there's a figure of Rodimus as some kind of animal girl. Why would I be surprised by this?

 


#29 Shenanigans

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:05 PM

Part of the problem is trying to explain things with an incredibly limited language. Gender classification as binary will be rendered completely obsolete within the century due to advances in surgery and technology allowing people to forge identities divorced from their original physicality. For the first time in history we live in a culture where large numbers of people have the means to alter their own body's appearance and chemistry, and society is still playing catch-up to the implications of this. In my long-sighted futurist view the blurring of sex and gender lines is the latest in a sequence of events that will ultimately have us questioning not only what it means to be man or woman, but what it means to be human.


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#30 Verity Carlo

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:11 PM

I figured out I was trans just over two weeks ago. It feels like my subconscious has known for at least 15 years, though. I remember having If I Had Animorph Powers daydreams that often ended with me getting stuck in a girl form.

Yeah, I had those same kind of day dreams.


 

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#31 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:31 PM

I figured out I was trans just over two weeks ago. It feels like my subconscious has known for at least 15 years, though. I remember having If I Had Animorph Powers daydreams that often ended with me getting stuck in a girl form.

 

That's a huge first step! To not just transitioning but to better understanding who you are.
My advice now would be to find some support in your area: whether it's online, or a support group, or a therapist who works with transgender individuals. It seems scary but it's actually a huge help! (and it's actually a million times scarier to face this alone)

 

Kira,

You said that you only live as a female PT. Are there outside social or professional factors that prevent you from living as your actual gender FT?

If not, living only PT just seems like crossdressing to me since you haven't completely rejected living as your physical sex and seems contrary to what I know about transgenderism.

If this is getting too personal, just let me know.

-SS

 

There are DEFINITELY outside factors. Number one being that I still live with my family, and have only very recently "come out" to most of them. Trying to transition like this is a HUGE minefield, but I have a close relationship with them and I didn't want to burn any bridges, so to speak.

I also had a huge bout with depression over the last few years. After I finished college I intended to transition and then start another school, but I met some roadblocks and my life sort of stalled out. And every time I found a glimmer of hope of actually succeeding life got in the way and ripped it away so the depression worsened. I'm super grateful that for the last few years I've been seeing my therapist (she's very involved in the trans community and an advocate of sorts) otherwise I wonder if I would be here, y'know without that one person who never gave up on me.

 

Also money is a huge issue. I managed to get insurance coverage, but it kind of sucked, so finding an endocrinologist who took my plan and worked with trans patients was tough. And most insurances only cover the doctor visits, not the hormones themselves (luckily they cover the T blocker, and Target has a discount plan on the estrogen!)

 

SO YEAH, A LOT OF FACTORS. In a perfect world I would have been living full time years ago.

 

We do not live in a perfect world.

 

And on the subject of "just crossdressing"... it's not crossdressing if you're transgender. And as was previously discussed being transgender doesn't refer to the actual physical process of changing your body. A true crossdresser is satisfied with their body and living in their assigned gender. Some prefer to be more androgynous but they're still men (and the same holds true for women crossdressers who dress as men!)

 

I take issue with you saying I haven't rejected my physical sex. OH HELL YEAH I rejected it years ago and I've been bloody fighting it tooth and nail ever since, full time, part time, all the time.

 

The dysphoria was huge up until recently. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

 

So yeah, I don't like being second guessed. Thanks! ( ^ . ^ )

 

 

I've touched on this before but I've still not really grasped it so maybe it can be revisited here.

 

Basically, as I understand it, the premise is such that inside you feel like one sex and on the outside your body is defined as another. Speaking as a male who was born a male, I can't understand exactly how that works.

 

Let me explain.

 

I don't identify as male. If you asked me to quantify what it is to be male, the first thing I'd say is "Well, it's something I don't really think about." But even when I DO think about it, such as now, I still can't tell you what it feels to be male or female. I have tried to break it down and think "Okay, this is what makes me a male" and I can't think of any innate encapsulation of that. I could say "Well, it's because I love farting and because I'm strong and tall" but those aren't really defined by biology, as there are women as tall as me and women who enjoy farting and laugh when they do. I could say it's because I don't have any desire to wear a dress, wear make up or paint my nails but those again are social constructs and only apply to the modern western world.

 

I don't feel like *any* gender so I don't grasp how someone could feel like the wrong one. Now certainly, this isn't meant as a rebuttal to what you are and what you feel, it's just me explaining how I want to understand it because for all practical purposes I can't.

 

Where does that feeling come from? How do you first identify it and what.. I dunno.. what things could you list that you knew were wrong that makes you identify or fixate on one gender identity or the other? How do YOU define your own gender enough to know it's not right.

 

What's the springboard or the catalyst for this identity?

 

Gender identity isn't something that's easily explained or conveyed, so you have having problems saying what makes yours "MAN" isn't abnormal. As someone cisgender especially your body is so in tuned that it floats somewhere out of sight and you never have to think about it. Isn't that cool?

 

I don't have that luxury. We don't have that luxury. It SCREAMS inside your head from the moment you wake up.

You know like the sci-fi trope of body horror? You start turning into a fly or some other mutant and there's just this horror deep inside. It's pretty much like that: you look down and it's your body but it's all wrong. Your brain is sending you "WTF!?" signals and you feel horrible.

I like to say to cisgender people this: Imagine you woke up as the opposite sex. You're now a woman (or a man, for the cis ladies) wholly in body, but your mind is still you. Now you have to go out and live your day as a woman, and be treated as a woman, etc. If you open your mouth and mention that you're really a man, and best case scenario, you'll get some strange looks and a chuckle. So the next day you're still the opposite sex and work up the courage to dress and identify like you want in spite of the stares and laughs. You feel a little better, a little more like you, but it still feels wrong. Some people are OK with it, some even friendly, but some they give you obvious, dirty stares. Are rude. Call you "F____T" or some other horrible name (that doesn't even apply to what you're going through! you did nothing to state who you're attracted to!).

 

Maybe they beat you up. Maybe they kill you. Any random person can decide that you somehow offend them SO MUCH it gives them the right to do whatever they want. To them you're not human.

 

The next day the same thing happens, you head out, try to live the way you identify, and live in fear... and the next day, and so on...

 

Your body is never going to magically change (back, in this case). Your sexuality hasn't changed, you're still you.

And you're left with two choices: "suck it up", be a woman, fake fitting in. OR struggle and fight against a society that marginalizes and misunderstands anyone different.

Make your pick!

...

 

Anyways... identity identifiers! How do you know? Well for me it was that I really didn't connect with any of my friends growing up (the boys). We'd hang out and play video games and stuff but they scared me! Something about the way they thought and acted, the roughness. Even the nerdy quiet ones had it. Everything was a competition... it felt gross! The one male friend I gravitated to most was gay... hanging with him felt more natural, relaxed. (we're still friends today!)

And there's the stereotype that little trans girls want Barbies and pink and glitter! Well I liked my Transformers. But damned if I didn't play with my younger cousin's Barbies every time I went over there (OMG, all the outifts!). I also remember wanting to buy a Jean Grey/Phoenix action figure because I just gravitated towards her character, but being afraid to do so because I was worried that my family would think I was weird, or they'd laugh... ( - _ - )
Oh, kinda random but did anyone else who liked Ninja Turtles have the April O' Neil with the real rooted hair? I LOVED that one. So pretty! I used to sit there and play with my toys and do the voices and then very quietly do April's voice, because I was afraid of family here me doing a girl's voice and doing girl stuff. (my mom would have made fun of me for sure, she's sort of mean I guess. Lol)

 

Yeah, wow, I wrote a lot.

Sorry!


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#32 Thylacine 2000

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 03:17 PM

I have great difficulty comprehending people who assert they are agender / nongender.

If you have a Y chromosome and a male-presenting biological body, but it feels utterly alien and wrong to you (the "body horror" notion from above), then it makes sense to say you can't really be a man or weren't meant to be one, and then announce / identify / transition as a trans woman.

But how could someone like that ALSO say they don't feel like a woman either and would feel just as wrong as a woman - if they don't have anything to react against?

Edited by Thylacine2000, 02 July 2014 - 03:18 PM.


#33 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 03:28 PM

Well, people like that still have a sex (I don't think they reject that notion) it's just that they don't identify with either gender. And from people I've interacted with it usually seems like they tried the one they were assigned at birth, tried the "opposite" and neither felt right. Then there's the people who feel like they're strongly in both categories and sometimes like to slide back and forth.

 

You know what's funny? I find nongender people confusing too. I can't identify with them, but I sure as hell accept what they tell me about what they're going through.

 

What I wonder is how their brain is constructed. From the research that's been done trans women have brains with structures that resemble a cisgender woman's brain, and vice versa for trans men and cis men's brains. So what does a brain with no gender look like? Is it "missing" something? Have something most brains don't? Some sort of mish mash of male and female brain that evens out?

I wish we knew more.


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#34 Aida Mana-Sue

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 03:33 PM

I have great difficulty comprehending people who assert they are agender / nongender.

If you have a Y chromosome and a male-presenting biological body, but it feels utterly alien and wrong to you (the "body horror" notion from above), then it makes sense to say you can't really be a man or weren't meant to be one, and then announce / identify / transition as a trans woman.

But how could someone like that ALSO say they don't feel like a woman either and would feel just as wrong as a woman - if they don't have anything to react against?

There's a lot more to it than this, but the argument you're basically making is a classic example of a false dichotomy.

 

Twenty four years of experience has told me I'm not male, but I don't have anything in me that tells me I should be female, just that it's the less familiar option of two. Basically, for me it just represents a better alternative. I don't feel female though, and I'm positive my brain isn't physiologically female (I don't know how it would compare though). It's 100% a mental/social thing with me.


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#35 Shenanigans

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 03:42 PM

Everybody get ready for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering question of the century

 

How do you decide which bathroom to use? If you changed, was it weird going to the "opposite world" from what you were used to?


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#36 Destron D-69

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 04:56 PM

This thread is great.  I don't really have more to add, since I'm as stock standard male as they come... but I get it -and you guys and gals will always have my full support -as much as that means. Its a struggle I'm happy I don't have to deal with personally, I wouldn't know where to find the strength to be perfectly honest.  But it makes me happy that you all have/are/and are constantly trying to find it... it's very moving.      



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#37 HellCat

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 05:02 PM

If it means anything, I read most of the people in this thread as being female before hand anyway. Something about the personality and way you carry yourselves.

 

A very dear friend of mine happens to be transgender and there's no question in my mind that she's a woman. A very intelligent and beautiful one at that :)



#38 Destron D-69

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 05:14 PM

yeah, its sort of the way reading a fictional female character written by a woman... tends to feel 'more right' than even a great male writer does when writing the same character.

 

I can't RP female characters for jive, they just act like men  lol.  



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#39 StarSaber

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 05:56 PM

Kira,

I didn't mean to offend you but I think you may have misconstrued my statement. I never said you didn't reject your physical sex. What I said was that if you only lived as a female part-time and that it WASN'T because of outside factors that made it difficult or even impossible then it would seem to me that you hadn't completely rejected it. However, since outside factors WERE at play then my following statement clearly didn't apply.

I apologize if my assertion was confusing.

Thanks for clarifying.

-SS

#40 Maruten

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 06:27 PM

Most people don't realise, could never understand, how lucky they are not to ever once in their life have to think about whether their body matches their brain.

 

My mother is gay, and I didn't have a male role model growing up. I didn't (and don't) think I needed one. I'm a heterosexual man and that makes me fortunate in that I don't need to devote a lot of energy to exploring what that means for my identity. I'm not particularly masculine, certainly I have personality traits that are considered feminine. I have the luxury of looking at sex and gender, which I've never had to struggle with, and sort of saying... those things don't matter. People are people. Be what you are, love who you love. Don't let somebody else's narrowminded opinions force you into the wrong box. I don't define people by their position on those spectrums (spectra?) and I hope we're in sight of a world where nobody does.

 

It's hard to imagine another kind of trauma as horrific and invisible and cruelly dismissed as gender dysphoria. It's such a huge, wonderful thing for people to stand up and say "I'm not what you think I am", and have the courage to make enormous changes to their lives -- often difficult, painful, alienating, frightening changes. To do that without a great support network is just too terrifying to contemplate. I hope you people in this brilliant community can be that support network for some who may have no other.


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