2756 replies to this topic

[Destron D-69]

if I transitioned I'd get colour changing contacts too... Blue eyes might be fun. then it would surprise people when they discovered how full of crap I was. 

[Patch]

That has more to do with what you say and nothing to do with your eye color, Des =P

[Destron D-69]

yes, but with having brown eyes since I was 2... I lost the ability to hide the full line 

 

sure it would only work when meeting new people for the first time and only the first time... but it's a sensation I've missed having XD 

[Shadewing]

 

 

Sorta on this topic, a comic by a trans artist; about a boy learning he's transgender by first just wanting to look like a cute anime girl:
 
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/i-want-to-be-a-cute-anime-girl/image-change/viewer?title_no=349416&episode_no=1
 
Little drama, mostly comedy, as Charon slowly realizes that Cheryl is more then an occasional thing. So yeah, the "I wanna be the big tiddy gf" thing isn't that odd for the current generation as others have said.

It seems either the comic has been taken down or My internet hates me. Don't suppose it was hosted elsewhere as well?

*sigh*
Never mind. Weird!

 

Regardless, they do post it to their Twitter account

 

Oh hey, speaking of:

 

 

Page 142 - What is happen?

Halo. I'm back. pic.twitter.com/Ug80vPmnrA

— Azul Crescent (@AzulCrescent) January 20, 2021

Hiatus is over.

[Caldwin]

Yay!

[Darth Prime]

Hey so...

I created this account because I just wanted to get some things off my chest.

My entire life I have known that I should have been born the opposite gender, but I grew up in a strict religious household where 'beating the gay out of someone' was a sound 'cure' for being attracted to the same sex. If I tried to dress or 'act' like the opposite sex I was told I was going to hell.

Well, now I'm a full grown adult who is wanting to be more open about being trans (also a proud atheist).

This time though it isn't my parents holding me back, it's the person that I married.

They are against the idea of me being Trans and I honestly don't know what to do here.

Should I just go on pretending to be okay with my biological gender? I mean, I am in my late twenties so I guess it's kinda too late anyways for me to start being more open about being Trans, but I really can't take it anymore and I feel like I have no one to really talk too.

Thanks for reading my short rant/vent.

Edited by Darth Prime, 27 February 2021 - 11:07 PM.

[Shadewing]

It is NEVER too late to come out as who you really are. Thoughts like that are normal, but they are also how we tend to sabotage ourselves.

[Darth Prime]

I just don't know what to do about my spouse.

They don't want to be married to someone who identifies as the same sex as they do.

That and I'm scared of what all my friends will think.

[Rust]

How long has your spouse been aware of the situation?

[Cabooceratops]

Yeah, I realized I was Trans in my mid-twenties, and only started HRT a year ago. You're *far* from too late to transition, you got your whole life ahead of you!

 

As for your Spouse, it depends on a lot of factors. They may simply need time, or you may need to be ready to part, ideally amicably. However, you won't be doing yourself or your spouse any favors by suppressing this part of yourself. You need to be honest with them, but also understand that they cannot change who they're attracted to. Try to be understanding, but don't let them push you into being something you're not comfortable with.

[Copper Bezel]

Yeah, I mean, it's possible to be in a position where coming out as LGBT+ or even coming out as atheist can be unsafe, and it sounds like you would have been in that position for as long as you had any dependency on your parents. Both can also pose threats depending on your work environment in ways that mean you have to be strategic and stage your process carefully. But they also both mean acting as your authentic self, and you sound like you have the freedom to move in that direction now. (And it's not at all unusual for people to be your age or older coming out - coincidentally, I was in my late twenties as well.) Whether you're going through the motions of a religion or an identity for the sake of others, that's going to eat at you and those experiences aren't going to be the authentic ones you could be having. So there are people I really do think are in the terrible position where the risks of coming out are just too immediate, but that's not quite the position you're in. 

 

God, I'm just so sorry you're having to go through this. There are very good things and very scary risks and possible costs here ahead of you. 

 

Coming out to friends is hard, and that anxiety about how they're going to take it and that sense of risk is something you're going to feel even if they're people who by all rights are likely to be accepting. So I don't want to trivialize that in any way, but I think I have to say that that's something that really anyone who transitions is going to have to go through to some degree, where the issue with your spouse is not, and sounds like it really needs to be handled first. 

 

You've talked to your spouse, so it sounds like you have the rough shapes of the concerns on the table. I understand their reacting negatively to the news, and even not wanting to be with someone who's not the gender they're attracted to, but I have to admit I don't really understand fully what they expect you to do to "fix" it for them, or really what you could do. Whether they knew it or not, this has been you for all twenty-odd years of your twenty-odd-year life, and it's not like that's going anywhere. Maybe that's my bias, as someone who's had a lot more experience with questions around identity than with being in a marriage, but I really can't imagine having a life partner who's asking me to bottle something up and play along for the rest of my life - I don't see how that ends well for either of you. 

 

It sounds like this is going to be hard, and there are ways it can go very badly. Cabooceratops is right that you and your spouse are going to have to work through this to a conclusion that respects what you both need, where neither of you is feeling pressured into an unworkable position, and that really might mean that you're in a position where the relationship can't continue. But from my point of view, I don't see how you can put that genie back in the bottle. 

Edited by Copper Bezel, 28 February 2021 - 06:05 AM.

[The Doctor Who]

I'll just echo what others have said. It's going to be hard, but it's something that can't really be backed away from.

You are who you are and you really shouldn't have to hide it. I can't really imagine what it would be like to be in this situation, but like, to me? A relationship has to be honest. It would be bad for both of you to sweep this under the rug at this point.

You might as well face up to it, so you can move forward. Whatever that might entail.

[MEDdMI]

Pretending to be someone you're not, or conforming to another person's idea of what *they* want you to be to keep them happy is not healthy.

[Glenn]

Hoping we can keep the P&R side of this news to a minimum..  I thought this was an important article to post here.  Despite the creator's personal beliefs game designers/programmers have decided to be on the correct side of history with the Hogwart's Legacy game:

 

https://bleedingcool...der-characters/

[Cabooceratops]

Unfortunately Jowling Kowling Rowling will still be getting royalties from this, so I still don't plan to give them, and by extension her, my money.

Edited by Cabooceratops, Yesterday, 09:50 AM.

[Monique]

Hoping we can keep the P&R side of this news to a minimum..  I thought this was an important article to post here.  Despite the creator's personal beliefs game designers/programmers have decided to be on the correct side of history with the Hogwart's Legacy game:

 

https://bleedingcool...der-characters/

So Cyberpunk style pick your voice/body combo?

 

I gotta say, I never really got thing kinda thing. I mean I guess its good? But also how many trans folk really go "man you know I really wanna spend 40 hours running around with a digital avatar that accentualizes everything that gives me dysphoria".

 

Like with Cyberpunk I got the genital customization thing to a degree because the game involves sex and some people are fine or prefer having their OG setup over transitioning their lower half so presumably it would come up (in the end it didn't x.x) But unless the game is going to have full on nudity I don't really get it. Like, it feels performative in this context

[Copper Bezel]

So Cyberpunk style pick your voice/body combo?

No, Cyberpunk linked your voice to what pronouns people would use for you, but allowed you to pick the body type and genitals separately. In the HP game, your pronouns and which of the two sets of dorms you stay in are determined separately from your voice. 

 

I gotta say, I never really got thing kinda thing. I mean I guess its good? But also how many trans folk really go "man you know I really wanna spend 40 hours running around with a digital avatar that accentualizes everything that gives me dysphoria".

A surprising proportion. It's not how I do my escapism, but it is how many people do their self-affirmation. 

 

Even us trans folks have to remember that we are not a monolith and can't assume what we all want without asking. But you do already know that there are plenty of people who are okay with having genitals that don't match their gender expression and own that identity. 

 

Nonbinary folks also exist, although there's no option in this case for gender-neutral pronouns in the game. As many people have pointed out since Cyberpunk, there is the potential for adding a nonbinary option to require recording more voice lines, although in many games this is already made irrelevant by carefully avoiding anything in voiced dialogue that specifies the player's gender so as not to already have two sets for male and female characters. But decoupling voice, body, and pronouns is free. 

 

Like with Cyberpunk I got the genital customization thing to a degree because the game involves sex and some people are fine or prefer having their OG setup over transitioning their lower half so presumably it would come up (in the end it didn't x.x) But unless the game is going to have full on nudity I don't really get it. Like, it feels performative in this context

Genitals weren't mentioned in the HP game though, it's body type, voice, and pronouns. And notably, making those separate switches is exactly what people were asking for when Cyberpunk failed to deliver on that.

Edited by Copper Bezel, Yesterday, 06:29 PM.