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@  Rycochet : (05 March 2021 - 02:33 PM)

Better than my techniqueccutting off the outside world entirely and curling up in bed for months, barely eating or doing anything but sleep.

@  electricidad : (05 March 2021 - 09:03 AM)

WandaVision's message: Dealing with grief? Curl up with a good book.

@  tigerhawk : (05 March 2021 - 06:21 AM)

There's more S.cots in Appalachia then Scotland.

@  Stepwise : (04 March 2021 - 09:07 PM)

Wonko - I'm really sorry - I've been in that spot where everything is falling apart at the same time.

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 04:49 PM)

a minivan which NOW sounds like it's on it's last legs. Christ, why is everything breaking now?!?!?

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 02:45 PM)

He's willing, but it's our parents minivan, and I'm half the labour.

@  TM2-Megatron : (04 March 2021 - 02:34 PM)

Like anything; if they're willing to haul it away it's theirs.

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 12:44 PM)

And now my brother wants the old fridge, so instead of letting the delivery folk deal with it, I need to move it.

@  NovaSaber : (04 March 2021 - 11:53 AM)

I take objection to the idea that public health is "politics" just because some politicians don't listen to the experts.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:59 AM)

I was only replying to the general sentiment of the last three posts before mine.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:58 AM)

The person you replied to specifically gave the example of "limiting the amount of people in a facility".

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:58 AM)

This wasn't about "lock[ing] everyone in the country down".

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:57 AM)

All I'm saying is there are lockdown and anti-lockdown people and hashing it out in the shoutbox on a toy forum is dumb.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:56 AM)

You don't have to lock everyone in the country down to mitigate risks in one population.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:56 AM)

Of course older people have it worse, but America is one of those countries where people ship their old people to homes far away from the action anyways.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:55 AM)

What ar you even trying to say, anyway? That we shouldn't complain about others increasing the danger more than necessary?

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:55 AM)

Frankly, there's a lot to say on this issue that can't be encompassed on the shoutbox and I really really don't want to have to deal with politics every single time I check the forums.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:54 AM)

To claim that this is about the people in the 20-40 range is also disingenuous.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:53 AM)

Essential workers and such are pretty fit on average which is an extra boon for them.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:51 AM)

It's not really a personal choice issue, it's a risk versus well, anything you want to do issue. Literally leaving the house results in potential exposure, mask or no. Overall, most of us who hang out here are 20-40, and our survival rate is comparable with some pretty out there statistics.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:39 AM)

Anybody who has to go out because of work or groceries or whatever can't just choose to avoid any potential disease-spreaders, for one thing.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:38 AM)

Kind of disingenuous to frame this as just a personal choice issue.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:22 AM)

This whole "I can't handle people not me having the choice to not put on masks" thing's a bit much.

@  -LittleAutob... : (04 March 2021 - 09:14 AM)

Hey, Florida is one of the most infected states, and we won't even shut down. We may use masks, but restaurants, clubs, you name it, those are still wide open. Also, what's limiting the amount of people in a facility again? :p

@  Steevy Maximus : (03 March 2021 - 08:57 PM)

Oklahoma is right there, apparently. Dang bible belt. Nice people, but not the smartest cookies I've seen.

@  Hg Dragon : (03 March 2021 - 08:52 PM)

Don't worry! COME TO TEXAS WHERE OUR IDIOT GOVENOR DECALRED THE STATE 100% OPEN AND ENDED THE MASK MANDATE!!!

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 04:21 PM)

Beyond just the not even being able to walk into most stores

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 04:21 PM)

No kidding, but right now: unless it's physically on the shelf in front of you: there's no clear idea when it'll be available. And that goes for just about everything.

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 04:18 PM)

I've heard new appliances are hard to get, for some reason

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 04:13 PM)

And the new one we settled on is backlogged up to two months. Even better.

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 11:59 AM)

I mean, it's not all bad. Disney's releasing Speed remastered on 4K

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 08:48 AM)

And now the fridge has died. So far 2021 has been WONDERFUL.

@  Hg Dragon : (01 March 2021 - 08:49 PM)

I'm upset I can't "Like" a shout...

@  TheMightyMol... : (28 February 2021 - 09:39 AM)

The US election? *rimshot*

@  Paladin : (28 February 2021 - 09:19 AM)

WHICH 2016 clown panic?

@  NotVeryKnightly : (28 February 2021 - 07:22 AM)

Didn't that come right after the 2016 clown panic? No way to make clowns not disturbing at the time, surely.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:26 AM)

The clown guise is supposed to lure kids in, it's no good if it looks sus in one glance.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:15 AM)

The new one tries too hard to be unsettling from the start. Curry's look is just a plain old clown, until he very much is not.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:14 AM)

And Curry has a far more disturbing look at times than the newbie.

@  Sabrblade : (28 February 2021 - 02:22 AM)

And the original was a showcase of Tim Curry's delightfulness as an actor. 'Nuff said.

@  unluckiness : (27 February 2021 - 10:19 PM)

first one was a decent horror flick but the second was a mess plotwise and even the scares were worse

@  tigerhawk : (27 February 2021 - 04:57 PM)

Never understood the hype for the IT movies, too many floppy zombie chases, They're not in the least unsettling.

@  Maruten : (25 February 2021 - 06:00 PM)

It's better than the last one!

@  Steevy Maximus : (25 February 2021 - 11:30 AM)

The new Wizards of the Coast logo looks stupid

@  Steevy Maximus : (25 February 2021 - 11:29 AM)

It's really rather shocking watching the Investor Day presentation and seeing how much Hasbro actually owns now.

@  -LittleAutob... : (25 February 2021 - 10:26 AM)

If everyone had COMMON SENSE, then things would maybe go a little better-

@  repowers : (24 February 2021 - 05:33 PM)

If everyone would just have the exact same opinions as me then we wouldn't have this problem

@  Kalidor : (24 February 2021 - 01:49 PM)

It just depends on what it is. It is preferable to take it to P&R though. But sometimes current news as it's happening is less restrictive.

@  fourteenwings : (24 February 2021 - 12:18 AM)

Huh, good point (x3)

@  ▲ndrusi : (23 February 2021 - 11:46 AM)

Yeah. 1. People treat it like Twitter. 2. There's no "take it to P&R" since there's no P&R for the Shoutbox. 3. There's similarly no way to avoid either subjects or people in the Shoutbox since there's no division and it doesn't respect the ignore function, so people end up engaging when they normally wouldn't.


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The Official Unofficial Allspark Transgender Thread: Everyone is welcome!

transgender gender identity

2756 replies to this topic

#2741 Destron D-69

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Posted 20 January 2021 - 07:20 PM

if I transitioned I'd get colour changing contacts too... Blue eyes might be fun. then it would surprise people when they discovered how full of crap I was. 



#2742 Patch

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Posted 20 January 2021 - 07:43 PM

That has more to do with what you say and nothing to do with your eye color, Des =P

#2743 Destron D-69

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Posted 20 January 2021 - 08:21 PM

yes, but with having brown eyes since I was 2... I lost the ability to hide the full line 

 

sure it would only work when meeting new people for the first time and only the first time... but it's a sensation I've missed having XD 



#2744 Shadewing

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Posted 20 January 2021 - 09:36 PM

 

 

Sorta on this topic, a comic by a trans artist; about a boy learning he's transgender by first just wanting to look like a cute anime girl:
 
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/i-want-to-be-a-cute-anime-girl/image-change/viewer?title_no=349416&episode_no=1
 
Little drama, mostly comedy, as Charon slowly realizes that Cheryl is more then an occasional thing. So yeah, the "I wanna be the big tiddy gf" thing isn't that odd for the current generation as others have said.

It seems either the comic has been taken down or My internet hates me. Don't suppose it was hosted elsewhere as well?

*sigh*
Never mind. Weird!

 

Regardless, they do post it to their Twitter account

 

Oh hey, speaking of:

 

 

Hiatus is over.

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#2745 Caldwin

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Posted 21 January 2021 - 05:49 AM

Yay!


Before you do anything you can't undo...National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

#2746 Darth Prime

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Posted 27 February 2021 - 11:00 PM

Hey so...

I created this account because I just wanted to get some things off my chest.

My entire life I have known that I should have been born the opposite gender, but I grew up in a strict religious household where 'beating the gay out of someone' was a sound 'cure' for being attracted to the same sex. If I tried to dress or 'act' like the opposite sex I was told I was going to hell.

Well, now I'm a full grown adult who is wanting to be more open about being trans (also a proud atheist).

This time though it isn't my parents holding me back, it's the person that I married.

They are against the idea of me being Trans and I honestly don't know what to do here.

Should I just go on pretending to be okay with my biological gender? I mean, I am in my late twenties so I guess it's kinda too late anyways for me to start being more open about being Trans, but I really can't take it anymore and I feel like I have no one to really talk too.

Thanks for reading my short rant/vent.

Edited by Darth Prime, 27 February 2021 - 11:07 PM.


#2747 Shadewing

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Posted 27 February 2021 - 11:15 PM

It is NEVER too late to come out as who you really are. Thoughts like that are normal, but they are also how we tend to sabotage ourselves.


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#2748 Darth Prime

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Posted 27 February 2021 - 11:22 PM

I just don't know what to do about my spouse.

They don't want to be married to someone who identifies as the same sex as they do.

That and I'm scared of what all my friends will think.

#2749 Rust

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 12:54 AM

How long has your spouse been aware of the situation?



#2750 Cabooceratops

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 05:02 AM

Yeah, I realized I was Trans in my mid-twenties, and only started HRT a year ago. You're *far* from too late to transition, you got your whole life ahead of you!

 

As for your Spouse, it depends on a lot of factors. They may simply need time, or you may need to be ready to part, ideally amicably. However, you won't be doing yourself or your spouse any favors by suppressing this part of yourself. You need to be honest with them, but also understand that they cannot change who they're attracted to. Try to be understanding, but don't let them push you into being something you're not comfortable with.


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#2751 Copper Bezel

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 06:05 AM

Yeah, I mean, it's possible to be in a position where coming out as LGBT+ or even coming out as atheist can be unsafe, and it sounds like you would have been in that position for as long as you had any dependency on your parents. Both can also pose threats depending on your work environment in ways that mean you have to be strategic and stage your process carefully. But they also both mean acting as your authentic self, and you sound like you have the freedom to move in that direction now. (And it's not at all unusual for people to be your age or older coming out - coincidentally, I was in my late twenties as well.) Whether you're going through the motions of a religion or an identity for the sake of others, that's going to eat at you and those experiences aren't going to be the authentic ones you could be having. So there are people I really do think are in the terrible position where the risks of coming out are just too immediate, but that's not quite the position you're in. 

 

God, I'm just so sorry you're having to go through this. There are very good things and very scary risks and possible costs here ahead of you. 

 

Coming out to friends is hard, and that anxiety about how they're going to take it and that sense of risk is something you're going to feel even if they're people who by all rights are likely to be accepting. So I don't want to trivialize that in any way, but I think I have to say that that's something that really anyone who transitions is going to have to go through to some degree, where the issue with your spouse is not, and sounds like it really needs to be handled first. 

 

You've talked to your spouse, so it sounds like you have the rough shapes of the concerns on the table. I understand their reacting negatively to the news, and even not wanting to be with someone who's not the gender they're attracted to, but I have to admit I don't really understand fully what they expect you to do to "fix" it for them, or really what you could do. Whether they knew it or not, this has been you for all twenty-odd years of your twenty-odd-year life, and it's not like that's going anywhere. Maybe that's my bias, as someone who's had a lot more experience with questions around identity than with being in a marriage, but I really can't imagine having a life partner who's asking me to bottle something up and play along for the rest of my life - I don't see how that ends well for either of you. 

 

It sounds like this is going to be hard, and there are ways it can go very badly. Cabooceratops is right that you and your spouse are going to have to work through this to a conclusion that respects what you both need, where neither of you is feeling pressured into an unworkable position, and that really might mean that you're in a position where the relationship can't continue. But from my point of view, I don't see how you can put that genie back in the bottle. 


Edited by Copper Bezel, 28 February 2021 - 06:05 AM.

Shouldn't gravity be doing something?
 
Of course there's a figure of Rodimus as some kind of animal girl. Why would I be surprised by this?

 


#2752 The Doctor Who

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 08:51 AM

I'll just echo what others have said. It's going to be hard, but it's something that can't really be backed away from.

You are who you are and you really shouldn't have to hide it. I can't really imagine what it would be like to be in this situation, but like, to me? A relationship has to be honest. It would be bad for both of you to sweep this under the rug at this point.

You might as well face up to it, so you can move forward. Whatever that might entail.

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#2753 MEDdMI

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Posted 28 February 2021 - 11:49 PM

Pretending to be someone you're not, or conforming to another person's idea of what *they* want you to be to keep them happy is not healthy.

#2754 Glenn

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Posted Yesterday, 09:19 AM

Hoping we can keep the P&R side of this news to a minimum..  I thought this was an important article to post here.  Despite the creator's personal beliefs game designers/programmers have decided to be on the correct side of history with the Hogwart's Legacy game:

 

https://bleedingcool...der-characters/



#2755 Cabooceratops

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Posted Yesterday, 09:50 AM

Unfortunately Jowling Kowling Rowling will still be getting royalties from this, so I still don't plan to give them, and by extension her, my money.


Edited by Cabooceratops, Yesterday, 09:50 AM.

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#2756 Monique

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Posted Yesterday, 04:44 PM

Hoping we can keep the P&R side of this news to a minimum..  I thought this was an important article to post here.  Despite the creator's personal beliefs game designers/programmers have decided to be on the correct side of history with the Hogwart's Legacy game:

 

https://bleedingcool...der-characters/

So Cyberpunk style pick your voice/body combo?

 

I gotta say, I never really got thing kinda thing. I mean I guess its good? But also how many trans folk really go "man you know I really wanna spend 40 hours running around with a digital avatar that accentualizes everything that gives me dysphoria".

 

Like with Cyberpunk I got the genital customization thing to a degree because the game involves sex and some people are fine or prefer having their OG setup over transitioning their lower half so presumably it would come up (in the end it didn't x.x) But unless the game is going to have full on nudity I don't really get it. Like, it feels performative in this context



#2757 Copper Bezel

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Posted Yesterday, 06:29 PM

So Cyberpunk style pick your voice/body combo?

No, Cyberpunk linked your voice to what pronouns people would use for you, but allowed you to pick the body type and genitals separately. In the HP game, your pronouns and which of the two sets of dorms you stay in are determined separately from your voice. 

 

I gotta say, I never really got thing kinda thing. I mean I guess its good? But also how many trans folk really go "man you know I really wanna spend 40 hours running around with a digital avatar that accentualizes everything that gives me dysphoria".

A surprising proportion. It's not how I do my escapism, but it is how many people do their self-affirmation. 

 

Even us trans folks have to remember that we are not a monolith and can't assume what we all want without asking. But you do already know that there are plenty of people who are okay with having genitals that don't match their gender expression and own that identity. 

 

Nonbinary folks also exist, although there's no option in this case for gender-neutral pronouns in the game. As many people have pointed out since Cyberpunk, there is the potential for adding a nonbinary option to require recording more voice lines, although in many games this is already made irrelevant by carefully avoiding anything in voiced dialogue that specifies the player's gender so as not to already have two sets for male and female characters. But decoupling voice, body, and pronouns is free. 

 

Like with Cyberpunk I got the genital customization thing to a degree because the game involves sex and some people are fine or prefer having their OG setup over transitioning their lower half so presumably it would come up (in the end it didn't x.x) But unless the game is going to have full on nudity I don't really get it. Like, it feels performative in this context

Genitals weren't mentioned in the HP game though, it's body type, voice, and pronouns. And notably, making those separate switches is exactly what people were asking for when Cyberpunk failed to deliver on that.


Edited by Copper Bezel, Yesterday, 06:29 PM.

Shouldn't gravity be doing something?
 
Of course there's a figure of Rodimus as some kind of animal girl. Why would I be surprised by this?

 




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