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@  Rycochet : (05 March 2021 - 02:33 PM)

Better than my techniqueccutting off the outside world entirely and curling up in bed for months, barely eating or doing anything but sleep.

@  electricidad : (05 March 2021 - 09:03 AM)

WandaVision's message: Dealing with grief? Curl up with a good book.

@  tigerhawk : (05 March 2021 - 06:21 AM)

There's more S.cots in Appalachia then Scotland.

@  Stepwise : (04 March 2021 - 09:07 PM)

Wonko - I'm really sorry - I've been in that spot where everything is falling apart at the same time.

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 04:49 PM)

a minivan which NOW sounds like it's on it's last legs. Christ, why is everything breaking now?!?!?

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 02:45 PM)

He's willing, but it's our parents minivan, and I'm half the labour.

@  TM2-Megatron : (04 March 2021 - 02:34 PM)

Like anything; if they're willing to haul it away it's theirs.

@  wonko the sane? : (04 March 2021 - 12:44 PM)

And now my brother wants the old fridge, so instead of letting the delivery folk deal with it, I need to move it.

@  NovaSaber : (04 March 2021 - 11:53 AM)

I take objection to the idea that public health is "politics" just because some politicians don't listen to the experts.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:59 AM)

I was only replying to the general sentiment of the last three posts before mine.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:58 AM)

The person you replied to specifically gave the example of "limiting the amount of people in a facility".

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:58 AM)

This wasn't about "lock[ing] everyone in the country down".

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:57 AM)

All I'm saying is there are lockdown and anti-lockdown people and hashing it out in the shoutbox on a toy forum is dumb.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:56 AM)

You don't have to lock everyone in the country down to mitigate risks in one population.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:56 AM)

Of course older people have it worse, but America is one of those countries where people ship their old people to homes far away from the action anyways.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:55 AM)

What ar you even trying to say, anyway? That we shouldn't complain about others increasing the danger more than necessary?

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:55 AM)

Frankly, there's a lot to say on this issue that can't be encompassed on the shoutbox and I really really don't want to have to deal with politics every single time I check the forums.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:54 AM)

To claim that this is about the people in the 20-40 range is also disingenuous.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:53 AM)

Essential workers and such are pretty fit on average which is an extra boon for them.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:51 AM)

It's not really a personal choice issue, it's a risk versus well, anything you want to do issue. Literally leaving the house results in potential exposure, mask or no. Overall, most of us who hang out here are 20-40, and our survival rate is comparable with some pretty out there statistics.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:39 AM)

Anybody who has to go out because of work or groceries or whatever can't just choose to avoid any potential disease-spreaders, for one thing.

@  NotVeryKnightly : (04 March 2021 - 10:38 AM)

Kind of disingenuous to frame this as just a personal choice issue.

@  fourteenwings : (04 March 2021 - 10:22 AM)

This whole "I can't handle people not me having the choice to not put on masks" thing's a bit much.

@  -LittleAutob... : (04 March 2021 - 09:14 AM)

Hey, Florida is one of the most infected states, and we won't even shut down. We may use masks, but restaurants, clubs, you name it, those are still wide open. Also, what's limiting the amount of people in a facility again? :p

@  Steevy Maximus : (03 March 2021 - 08:57 PM)

Oklahoma is right there, apparently. Dang bible belt. Nice people, but not the smartest cookies I've seen.

@  Hg Dragon : (03 March 2021 - 08:52 PM)

Don't worry! COME TO TEXAS WHERE OUR IDIOT GOVENOR DECALRED THE STATE 100% OPEN AND ENDED THE MASK MANDATE!!!

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 04:21 PM)

Beyond just the not even being able to walk into most stores

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 04:21 PM)

No kidding, but right now: unless it's physically on the shelf in front of you: there's no clear idea when it'll be available. And that goes for just about everything.

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 04:18 PM)

I've heard new appliances are hard to get, for some reason

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 04:13 PM)

And the new one we settled on is backlogged up to two months. Even better.

@  TM2-Megatron : (03 March 2021 - 11:59 AM)

I mean, it's not all bad. Disney's releasing Speed remastered on 4K

@  wonko the sane? : (03 March 2021 - 08:48 AM)

And now the fridge has died. So far 2021 has been WONDERFUL.

@  Hg Dragon : (01 March 2021 - 08:49 PM)

I'm upset I can't "Like" a shout...

@  TheMightyMol... : (28 February 2021 - 09:39 AM)

The US election? *rimshot*

@  Paladin : (28 February 2021 - 09:19 AM)

WHICH 2016 clown panic?

@  NotVeryKnightly : (28 February 2021 - 07:22 AM)

Didn't that come right after the 2016 clown panic? No way to make clowns not disturbing at the time, surely.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:26 AM)

The clown guise is supposed to lure kids in, it's no good if it looks sus in one glance.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:15 AM)

The new one tries too hard to be unsettling from the start. Curry's look is just a plain old clown, until he very much is not.

@  PlutoniumBoss : (28 February 2021 - 04:14 AM)

And Curry has a far more disturbing look at times than the newbie.

@  Sabrblade : (28 February 2021 - 02:22 AM)

And the original was a showcase of Tim Curry's delightfulness as an actor. 'Nuff said.

@  unluckiness : (27 February 2021 - 10:19 PM)

first one was a decent horror flick but the second was a mess plotwise and even the scares were worse

@  tigerhawk : (27 February 2021 - 04:57 PM)

Never understood the hype for the IT movies, too many floppy zombie chases, They're not in the least unsettling.

@  Maruten : (25 February 2021 - 06:00 PM)

It's better than the last one!

@  Steevy Maximus : (25 February 2021 - 11:30 AM)

The new Wizards of the Coast logo looks stupid

@  Steevy Maximus : (25 February 2021 - 11:29 AM)

It's really rather shocking watching the Investor Day presentation and seeing how much Hasbro actually owns now.

@  -LittleAutob... : (25 February 2021 - 10:26 AM)

If everyone had COMMON SENSE, then things would maybe go a little better-

@  repowers : (24 February 2021 - 05:33 PM)

If everyone would just have the exact same opinions as me then we wouldn't have this problem

@  Kalidor : (24 February 2021 - 01:49 PM)

It just depends on what it is. It is preferable to take it to P&R though. But sometimes current news as it's happening is less restrictive.

@  fourteenwings : (24 February 2021 - 12:18 AM)

Huh, good point (x3)

@  ▲ndrusi : (23 February 2021 - 11:46 AM)

Yeah. 1. People treat it like Twitter. 2. There's no "take it to P&R" since there's no P&R for the Shoutbox. 3. There's similarly no way to avoid either subjects or people in the Shoutbox since there's no division and it doesn't respect the ignore function, so people end up engaging when they normally wouldn't.


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The Official Unofficial Allspark Transgender Thread: Everyone is welcome!

transgender gender identity

2756 replies to this topic

#1 Kira Kira

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:28 PM

EDIT (5/12/2016): Just want to make a disclaimer that some of the information and ideas about gender I presented in the early posts in this thread are out of date, and frankly, embarrassing to me. ( > . < ) (like I think I spoke of gender and sex as separate concepts, which is such a gender 101 shortcut, bleh)
So feel free to use this info as a base of you want, but after that I'd say to seek out more complete and updated resources out there! (tumblr has tons lol)

That's that. :)

ORIGINAL TEXT:
I've had the idea for a thread like this for a while and after all the trans related discussion in the Botcon superthread I thought now would be a good time.
So here we are!
This thread exists as a place for transgender and cisgender Allsparkers alike to discuss transgender topics, including the basics, transition stuff, amd whatever comes to mind really.
What this thread needs to stay away from is religion and politics, be it pro-transgender individuals or against them. There's a subforum for stuff like that!

I figure the best way to start is to just sort of talk about who I am, what I'm going through right now, stuff like that.
I've been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for 6 months now. (I've identified as female for a long time, and have been living part time as a woman sine 2006-ish... I'll have to share more about all that another time) So, HRT is an integral part of transitioning for most trans people, and is what causes the body to change into something that is more congruent with our sense of self. What trans women such as myself take are an estrogen and a testosterone blocker. I'm taking a bioidentical estrogen, which is basically the same chemical as the hormones that cisgender women make, but created in a lab. Science!
Ok, so basically after this long the changes that are happening to my body are pretty apparent, which is cool. It's often described as a second puberty and that's the truest way I can describe it. It's wonderful, but sometimes awkward. And just like puberty it takes time for all the changes to take full effect.
And what changes are that, you might ask? Well all the secondary sex characteristics: breasts, more fat on the hips/thighs/butt, softer skin, thicker head hair, body hair turns vellus,etc. A trans woman's body odor changes as well, becoming more, um, feminine. And there's changes in the pheremones too. Basically HRT makes a lot of changes to the body (the way hormones control the body is fascinating!) Things that don't change are bone structure, facial hair, and voice, although if a trans girl transitions before puberty or during it voice deepening, beards, and bone growth can be avoided!
Oh, and the HRT also changes the libido and stops spontaneous erections. Which is very convenient, lol

There are also mental changes but those are much harder to quantify... It's hard to judge what are actual changes and what is from having a body that better fits the mind. But both happen.

I feel like there are a million other things I want to discuss, but I guess just discussing the physical aspects ia enough to begin with.
Please everyone join in with you question, insights, stories, whatever! Whether you are trans yourself, or a supporter, or just curious, let's make this thread a fun and interesting place!

Edited by Kira Kira, 12 May 2016 - 02:13 PM.

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#2 2019

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:41 PM

I admit I've always been curious about the facial hair thing. Ever since I heard it still grows after HRT I gained a lot of respect for my trans friends' ability to make it all dissappear so cleanly, considering how my male friends seem to suddenly bush up in 48 hours.


if you can see this, i apologize for the above tweet, i was young and stupid and had nothing of value to say. please support lgbtq rights and listen to women's voices. that's all that really matters now. the right is evil, and should be opposed. thanks.


#3 Kira Kira

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:45 PM

Usually a girl will get laser hair removal or electrolysis at some point, unless she wants to keep shaving forever. Until then it's shaving, make up, and luck!
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#4 2019

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:50 PM

Oh right, silly me.

 

Laser isn't 100% though is it, it leaves about 20% of hair follicles or something.


if you can see this, i apologize for the above tweet, i was young and stupid and had nothing of value to say. please support lgbtq rights and listen to women's voices. that's all that really matters now. the right is evil, and should be opposed. thanks.


#5 Kira Kira

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:54 PM

Yeah, it takes multiple treatments over time I hear...
Eventually the hair gives up, I guess? Ha.

Edited by Kira Kira, 01 July 2014 - 11:54 PM.

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#6 Cheetimus Primal

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Posted 01 July 2014 - 11:59 PM

I don't have questions at the moment because I'm exhausted but I am so very glad you've started this. I want to learn more and I hope others feel the same.

 

 

Oh, here's a question: Do you listen to Keith and The Girl?



#7 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:05 AM

Thanks! I hope everyone does too.

And nope, I had to look them up. Should I be listening?
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#8 MrBlud

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:07 AM

Something I've not quite grasped is the whole "transgender" thing.

 

I used to think there were two sexes. Male and Female. A transgender person was someone transitioning either from Male-to-Female or Female-to-Male. Is this not the case? Is a Transgender person someone who simply isn't their born sex even if they don't decide to have therapy or so on to transition?


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#9 Cheetimus Primal

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:08 AM

The Girl, Chemda, is engaged to a Transgender man named Lauren. It's different int hat he is still outwardly female but identifies male, keeping his birth name and all. Listening to him on the podcast helped me understand things I didn't know existed like phantom feelings of body parts that aren't there and never have been.

 

They do an amazing show and are very informative on a great many things, especially gender issues.



#10 Princess Viola

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:32 AM

Something I've not quite grasped is the whole "transgender" thing.

 

I used to think there were two sexes. Male and Female. A transgender person was someone transitioning either from Male-to-Female or Female-to-Male. Is this not the case? Is a Transgender person someone who simply isn't their born sex even if they don't decide to have therapy or so on to transition?

Basically a transgender person is anyone who's gender identity or gender expression doesn't match someone's assigned sex based upon their physical parts.

 

So for example, I'm transgender because I identify as a female even though I'm 100% biologically male and haven't started HRT or anything.

 

Or someone who is biologically female but identifies as both male and female would be transgender as well.

 

And other things too.


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#11 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 12:41 AM

Something I've not quite grasped is the whole "transgender" thing.
 
I used to think there were two sexes. Male and Female. A transgender person was someone transitioning either from Male-to-Female or Female-to-Male. Is this not the case? Is a Transgender person someone who simply isn't their born sex even if they don't decide to have therapy or so on to transition?

You're basically right (although there are other less common sexes, like intersex people)... The physical change isn't what makes a person transgender, but rather their identifying as a different sex than they were born. That's why sometimes people use transsexual to refer to a transgender person who is actually transition and changing their bodies and such. Even trans people tend to muddle those two terms at times so I hope you don't mind that I don't delve into the nuances.
But in general if someone says they are transgender it's usually safe to assume they want to transition at some point.

The Girl, Chemda, is engaged to a Transgender man named Lauren. It's different int hat he is still outwardly female but identifies male, keeping his birth name and all. Listening to him on the podcast helped me understand things I didn't know existed like phantom feelings of body parts that aren't there and never have been.
 
They do an amazing show and are very informative on a great many things, especially gender issues.

Oh, wow that's cool. Especially to have a unique transgender POV.
Honestly I couldn't see doing what Lauren is doing (or not doing), but more power to him!
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#12 Aida Mana-Sue

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 01:27 AM

I'm neutrois (Still feels weird to type) and I was born with a male body. Growing up, I never really enjoyed male company (Apart from my best friend, who I fell in love with) and I always felt uncomfortable being told I had to be more masculine or fit in with the 'lads'.

 

I'd never really seriously questioned my gender identity until a few years ago when II made a few transgender friends I have the utmost respect for (My sexual identity I'd finally figured out a few years previous). Once I'd started questioning, though, I wasn't able to stop. I feel unhappy in my body a lot of the time, but I've never really considered HRT. I actually feel a bit uncomfortable typing this (And talking about my own LGBT issues in general) because I trivialize my own gender identity and believe it's just not worth talking about compared to friends who have gender dysphoria so bad they suffer from chronic depression. I know it's actually counterproductive to think like that, but I really do worry that my issues are 'silly' in comparison.

 

I also worry/think I prefer thinking of myself as female compared to male because that's simply further from where I started. That I might be having these same issues from the opposite perspective if I was born with a female body.

 

I'm sorry I don't really have anything to add to the thread at the moment, but I've always been very interested in learning more about LGBT culture and people, so I'll be following and see if I can contribute.

 

I prefer the personal pronoun 'She' (Non binary pronouns are just not for me) but I'm so used to 'He' that really it's not a big deal.

 

So, uh, I hope that made some sense. It's very late and I'm having quite a poorly night.


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#13 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:24 AM

Thanks for sharing, especially since you feel uncomfortable about it. I know it's hard to work through tough stuff like that but it's almost always worth it!

I don't think you should feel bad just because your friends feel the dysphoria and you aren't. Each of us is different and your identity is just as valid as everyone else's.
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#14 Jenny

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:25 AM

I've always felt uncomfortable in my own body, but it wasn't until around fall last year that I fully realized that I'm trans. (thanks, Kira, by the way, you were a big help in letting myself realizing that.) I haven't gotten on HRT yet or told my parents, because I'm scared they won't accept me for who I am (I live with a bunch of fundies), but I've slowly been coming out to my friends and at least one of my family members (My aunt). And they've helped me when I've been depressed, and my aunt said she'd be able to be there to back me up for when I'm going to tell my parents. I'm kinda hoping to come out somewhere in the next year, and I'm ready to get rid of this stupid body as soon as possible, but I'm still kind of nervous.

 

Anyway, that's my brief history. I'm kinda tired right now, and I don't have anything else to say that Kira and others haven't said already, but I'll be sure to chime in on any questions or anything.



#15 Kira Kira

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 02:35 AM

You're welcome kiddo! ( > u ^ )
I like playing big sister/mother, so I like to help when I can.

It's really huge that you have someone like an aunt on your side. That should really help when you come out to the 'rents! Any support is good, but a family member of a similar age to them is def going to make them realize that this isn't just some joke or fad to you, and who you see and something you need to do.

I think everyone in this thread is tired and should be sleeping, me including me. Ha.
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#16 Maruten

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 03:58 AM

I think this thread is really, really fantastic because this is an important issue that so many people are just completely unaware of. There are so many people out there who just don't know this is a thing, and who innocently say hurtful or ignorant things not out of prejudice but just because they don't understand.

I'm terrified of gender politics of all varieties because even the simplest aspects can be hugely complex and subjective, and I just don't feel qualified to participate in discussions about that stuff. I think I'm slightly more educated than many because I have a close friend who's a trans woman, and seeing her courage on the path towards transition has been an inspiration and a privilege. But one of the main things I've learned is that human identity is so much more complex than most people realise and there's always more to learn.

Any endeavour that spreads information and fosters understanding is a wonderful thing.

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#17 Cat

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 04:16 AM

I don't think I've ever been happier to see a thread title before.

 

This is a great topic, and I love that already it's clear that there is a hell of a lot of love and support for you all.



#18 Esser-Z

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 05:26 AM

I've struggled with gender issues myself, though I've come to the conclusion I'm male enough to not bother changing my body. I'm also dating a transwoman, and have an unexpectedly high number of trans friends. All in all, I don't have too much to learn I feel, but I'm VERY glad this thread is here! :)



#19 FortMax

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 07:57 AM

I figured out I was trans just over two weeks ago. It feels like my subconscious has known for at least 15 years, though. I remember having If I Had Animorph Powers daydreams that often ended with me getting stuck in a girl form.
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#20 StarSaber

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Posted 02 July 2014 - 10:00 AM

Kira,

You said that you only live as a female PT. Are there outside social or professional factors that prevent you from living as your actual gender FT?

If not, living only PT just seems like crossdressing to me since you haven't completely rejected living as your physical sex and seems contrary to what I know about transgenderism.

If this is getting too personal, just let me know.

-SS



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