Quotes

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Paladin

Well-known member
Citizen
"you have no idea where the money goes!"
"I don't know where pudding comes from but I still eat it."
"... that is such a BAD analogy..."
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
Alas for Master Percy Fenne,
Who killed the goblins plenty,
With tiger's hands he felled a score
And piled their bodies twenty.
Alas for Master Percy Fenne,
Whose efforts should have won,
Excepting that his foes this day
Numbered twenty-one.
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"If you're going to worry every time the universe doesn't make sense, you're going to be worried every second of every day for the rest of your life."
 

NovaSaber

Well-known member
Citizen
"I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them?' So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
 

Caldwin

Happy Face Hiding a Life of Ostracism
Citizen
Go away cat. You make me smile too much.

Get dressed, Miss Skin, before the space between us turns into tigers.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of all children.

Is that gasoline I smell?

Victims aren't we all?

Pal, something is seriously wrong with you.
Atrocity has that effect on me.
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"I've not shaved since my very first battle. And have I ever lost? No! Not even once! Ergo, my mustache makes me invincible. It's science, my boy, science!"
 

Caldwin

Happy Face Hiding a Life of Ostracism
Citizen
I was required to exchange chimeras of boundless grandeur for realities of little worth.

But I forget that I am moralizing in the most interesting part of my tale; and your looks remind me to proceed.

I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart.

The tortures of the accused did not equal mine; she was sustained by innocence, but the fangs of remorse tore my bosom, and would not forego their hold. (One of many times I wanted Frankenstein to STFU)

I ought to be thy Adam; but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drives from joy for no misdeed.

This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and, as a recompence, *sic* I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound, which shattered the flesh and bone.

you believe yourself miserable, but I can make you so wretched that the light of day will be hateful to you. You are my creator, but I am your master;-obey!

How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery!

I dare not ask you to do what I think right, for I may still be misled by passion.

Your repentance is now superfluous.

He sprung from the cabin-window, as he said this, upon the ice-raft which lay close to the vessel. He was soon born away by the waves, and lost in darkness and distance.
 
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Paladin

Well-known member
Citizen
"No sir, anybody who went out and got into the front line trenches to fight for liberty was a goddamn fool and the guy who got him there was a liar. Next time anybody came gabbling to him about liberty — what did he mean next time? There wasn't going to be any next time for him. But the hell with that. If there could be a next time and somebody said "let's fight for liberty", he would say mister my life is important. I'm not a fool and when I swap my life for liberty I've got to know in advance what liberty is, and whose idea of liberty we're talking about and just how much of that liberty we're going to have. And what's more mister — are you as much interested in liberty as you want me to be?

And maybe too much liberty will be as bad as too little liberty and I think you're a goddamn fourflusher talking through your hat, and I've already decided that I like the liberty I've got right here. The liberty to walk and see and hear and talk and eat and sleep with my girl. I think I like that liberty better than fighting for a lot of things we won't get and ending up without any liberty at all. Ending up dead and rotting before my life is even begun good or ending up like a side of beef. Thank you mister. You fight for liberty. Me, I don't care for some.

Just say "mister I'm sorry, I got no time to die, I'm too busy" and then turn and run like hell. If they say coward why don't pay any attention because it's your job to live not to die. If they talk about dying for principles that are bigger than life, you say "mister you're a liar. Nothing is bigger than life". There's nothing noble in death. What's noble about lying in the ground and rotting? What's noble about never seeing the sunshine again? What's noble about having your legs and arms blown off? What's noble about being an idiot? What's noble about being blind and deaf and dumb? What's noble about being dead? Because when you're dead, mister, it's all over. It's the end. You're less than a dog, less than a rat, less than a bee or an ant, less than a white maggot crawling around on a dungheap. You're dead, mister, and you died for nothing."
 

Paladin

Well-known member
Citizen
A nurse went to the hospital for her first day on the job.
Due to a miscommunication she did not know the name of the ward she had been assigned. Instead she was told to take medicine to the ward since the supervisor was running late.

Upon reaching the spot, she saw there were only 3 men in the hospital beds. Starting her shift, she began to hand out medications. The nurse stopped at the first bed and asked the man there "What are you in hospital for?" The man, roughly her own age, looked up at the nurse and said "My love is like a red red rose, that's newly sprung in June."

The nurse inwardly rolled her eyes at this, having been hit on several times in her career. She moved on to the next bed, occupied by an older gentlemen and asked, "Why are you here, sir?" The second man closed his eyes and sang "Should auld acquaintances be forgot, and never brought to mind? We'll take a cup of kindness yet, and pray for auld lang syne." This confused the nurse, since it was nowhere near New Years.

Reaching the last bed on the ward, she asked the man there (clearly the oldest of the trio) "What are you in for?" This man merely sat back and whispered "Now, what this tale o' truth shall read, Ilk man and mother's son, take heed: Whenever to Drink you are inclined Or Cutty-sarks be in your mind, hink ye may buy the joys o'er dear; Remember Tam o' Shanter's mare."

By now the nurse is convinced all three men are mentally disturbed somehow. The supervising doctor finally arrived and the nurse immediately asked "Is this the psychiatric ward?!"

"No," said the doctor- 'it's the Burns unit."
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"Okay. So, South City is to the north, North City is to the west, and East City is......also to the north. Where the f*** am I?"
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"You're a motorcycle, Arcee. Shouldn't you know how to build a motorcycle engine?"
"You're a human, Jack. Can you build me a small intestine?"
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"Not the move I would have made. Still— it's a fair question. Why do they look like me? Doesn't it create the possibility that I am one? That Doom may, at any moment, be a machine? That I am not myself? Of course it does. That is how I wish it. I once let Arcade strike a match on me, just to maintain that confusion. Think, boy. If I am ever defeated or dishonored— If I ever act in ways unworthy of myself... If I ever die... The word goes out: "It must have been a Doombot." And the reverse is true. My robots often confuse my foes—I may be a robot now, speaking these words. How would you know? How would I? What is Doom? The flesh and blood I can swap out at my convenience? The mind that can be copied into a thousand machines? No. Doom cannot fit in such small containers. I am not my body. Not my mind. I am... I am the old trunk, filled with ancient mysteries. I am the explosion in the college laboratory. I am the mask that burns with the fires of vengeance. I am the legend that unites this nation. I am the story of Doom."
 

Caldwin

Happy Face Hiding a Life of Ostracism
Citizen
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: 'Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'
 

The Mighty Mollusk

The bold ever fight on, their lives echoed in song
Citizen
"We are the agents of C.H.A.N.G.E."
"Right, that supposed to mean something, or just sound catchy?"
"Criticality of Human Augmentation with Neo-Genetic Enhancements."
"Oh my god. That poor acronym had a family."
 

Caldwin

Happy Face Hiding a Life of Ostracism
Citizen
Okay, I gotta know, where did that come from. It sounds like something either Spiderman or one of the X-men would say.
 
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