I have acquired a fleet of obsolete iPads. What do?

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Pocket

Yep.
Citizen
My dad works at a school, and they were throwing out a bunch of stuff, including six iPads.

iPads.jpeg

What you see before you are two gen 4s, one gen 3 (32GB cellular model, which must have cost a pretty penny when it was new), and three first-gen Airs. The gen 4s are running iOS 10.3.3, the Airs are running 12.5.5, and I have no idea if the gen 3 even works because it requires the old dock cable to recharge and I don't have one of those. The other five all seem to work fine, though I haven't stress-tested them, and cosmetically all but one are in excellent condition due to spending their entire lives in rubber cases. (The cases are also still in serviceable shape.)

But we're talking about six obsolete devices here. I don't really even have a use for one, because I already have one that's still supported. Any creative ideas what I could do with them all? My first thought was "I wonder if there's some kind of homebrew Linux-based OS I could put on them" and while various projects exist, none of them are anywhere close to finished. Any creative ideas?
 

ZakuConvoy

Well-known member
Citizen
...You brought this upon yourself...


You could go on a epic quest for the seventh iPad. Then, you could use all seven to summon the ghost of Steve Jobs to grant you a single wish!

You could connect all of them together, and let them achieve true sentience. Teach them to learn, to laugh, and...perhaps...love?

You could use one of them for each day of the week, and let them all charge on Sundays.

You could shame your friends. THEY don't have 6 iPads, what are THEY even doing with their lives.

You could use them as fancy serving plates for guests, for when they come to dinner.

You could donate them to a museum. THEY BELONG IN A MUSEUM!

You could make your own do-it-yourself home theater system. True Surround Sound!

You could give them all names. And then use them like dolls to act out your deepest, secretest fantasies.

You could strap them to your body with ducktape like makeshift armor.

You could leave a iPad in every room of your house, like cheap eyeglasses. You're getting kind of forgetful in your old age, you know.

You could use them as a bed warmer for a group of your many cats. The screen is ever so nice as warm on those cold winter's nights.

You could play with them like dominos. You wouldn't be able to do many fancy patterns, but how many people can say they've played dominos with iPads?

You could attach little arms and wheels to them and make them fight each other for your amusement!

You could trade them for 7 old iMac G3s from 2003, and then trade those for 12 old iPods, and then you could trade those for 72 original Mac 128 k computers, and then you could trade those for stock in Apple. And now, you own the company, congratulations!

You could split your soul into pieces and put it in the iPads. Congratulations, you're now immortal!

You could use them like giant, novelty-sized playing cards in a game of poker. No one will ever suspect that you're cheating!

You could find 6 teenagers with attitude and give each one their own iPad. And then you could get them to fight crime in your name!

You could use them to open a portal back in time to 2012, around when these iPads were new. Warn us...warn us all before it's too late!

You could write 6 different clues to a buried treasure on them, and then bury them around town. Your treasure is their's for the taking...but they'll have to find it first. You left it all...in OneNote.
 
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Donocropolis

Olde-Timey Member
Citizen
...You brought this upon yourself...


You could go on a epic quest for the seventh iPad. Then, you could use all seven to summon the ghost of Steve Jobs to grant you a single wish!

You could connect all of them together, and let them achieve true sentience. Teach them to learn, to laugh, and...perhaps...love?

You could use one of them for each day of the week, and let them all charge on Sundays.

You could shame your friends. THEY don't have 6 iPads, what are THEY even doing with their lives.

You could use them as fancy serving plates for guests, for when they come to dinner.

You could donate them to a museum. THEY BELONG IN A MUSEUM!

You could make your own do-it-yourself home theater system. True Surround Sound!

You could give them all names. And then use them like dolls to act out your deepest, secretest fantasies.

You could strap them to your body with ducktape like makeshift armor.

You could leave a iPad in every room of your house, like cheap eyeglasses. You're getting kind of forgetful in your old age, you know.

You could use them as a bed warmer for a group of your many cats. The screen is ever so nice as warm on those cold winter's nights.

You could play with them like dominos. You wouldn't be able to do many fancy patterns, but how many people can say they've played dominos with iPads?

You could attach little arms and wheels to them and make them fight each other for your amusement!

You could trade them for 7 old iMac G3s from 2003, and then trade those for 12 old iPods, and then you could trade those for 72 original Mac 128 k computers, and then you could trade those for stock in Apple. And now, you own the company, congratulations!

You could split your soul into pieces and put it in the iPads. Congratulations, you're now immortal!

You could use them like giant, novelty-sized playing cards in a game of poker. No one will ever suspect that you're cheating!

You could find 6 teenagers with attitude and give each one their own iPad. And then you could get them to fight crime in your name!

You could use them to open a portal back in time to 2012, around when these iPads were new. Warn us...warn us all before it's too late!

You could write 6 different clues to a buried treasure on them, and then bury them around town. Your treasure is their's for the taking...but they'll have to find it first. You left it all...in OneNote.

giphy.gif
 

BeastWarsFan95

Toy photographer, webcomic artist, dinogeek
Citizen
This makes me wonder what the heck happens to all those old iPhones after the iPhone 274 or whatever the new one is called comes out.
 

lastmaximal

Administrator
Staff member
Council of Elders
Citizen
The last time I got handed down one of these, I wound up using it as a dedicated reporting/presentation device for graduate school (I didn't want to use my regular device). Then the pandemic hit.

By the time onsite classes start up again this outdated device will be even more outdated.

During the pandemic, though, my family also had a few such old devices that they donated to my younger cousins who needed them for online classes.
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
This makes me wonder what the heck happens to all those old iPhones after the iPhone 274 or whatever the new one is called comes out.
Depends entirely on where you are in the world. Some places have strict requirements for disposable and recycling of old electronics, most don't. Some just end up in the bin, some end up forgotten in a drawer somewhere, to be found when they move or just get tired of all the crap hanging around and go on a cleaning binge.
 

Coglestop

Grand Emperor of the Empire of One Square Foot.
Citizen
Eh, start building an LCARS interface for your home network. Just don't connect them to the EPS conduits. That's a surefire recipe to have rocks fall all over your living room the minute a bird hits a window.
 

Pocket

Yep.
Citizen
Apple has a free-recycling policy for both obsolete and broken units—it's the cornerstone of their boasts about being environmentally friendly which I'm sure is worth a ton in tax breaks—but I think you have to turn them in at an Apple Store specifically. And of course, as with all recycling, I imagine most people don't bother and literally toss them in the trash. I've never seen a used one at a thrift store, is what I'm saying, although the Exchange used to have old iPods... 🤔
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
I've never seen a used portable apple product before either... Course, the whole "apple was maliciously hobbling them remotely thing to force you to upgrade" thing probably didn't help with the secondary market.
 

Pocket

Yep.
Citizen
Update: Dock cable has been acquired, 3rd gen powers up and charges... and unlike the others (except the one that was factory-reset) it's registered to a person instead of "managed by the network". Maybe iOS didn't add that feature until later. At any rate, I'm tempted to try to put some kind of data plan on it. This article seems to imply that it's the oldest model to support 4G, which is good because 3G is getting dropped nationwide this year, but I feel like if I walk into a Cricket or Boost store with this thing, they're just going to laugh at me. And dealing with any off-brand carrier's online support is something I'd like to avoid like the plague... even moreso than the literal plague I'd be risking by talking to them in person.

I did have the bright idea that I could try to put Among Us on these and bring them to the next family get-together this summer, but then I remembered that this year we'll be at the place that doesn't have wi-fi. I don't think they support any sort of peer-to-peer local wireless, do they?
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
Ipads? with USEFUL localized features?

No, they don't do local peer to peer. You need outside wifi or a data plan. As far as I know: they aren't even capable of bluetooth file sharing.
 

Dake

Well-known member
Citizen
Not being an Apple person I don't know - but isn't that Airdrop? Or does that use Wifi?
 

wonko the sane?

You may test that assumption at your convinience.
Citizen
Air drop is more like... an air drop? All it really does it let you send small files over a short term connection. There is no (at least so far as I know.) long term connectivity to it without the internet or a cellular connection interverning.

So you can send memes, photos, and music via air drop, randomly to people who have an active air drop connection around you. So that hipster prick can spam you with his crap tastes without even having to see you.
 

Pocket

Yep.
Citizen
Update: I have acquired a dock for the oldest and most useless one.

LxIGGmV.jpg


This hasn't really improved my ability to do anything useful with it, but it has a decent-looking place to live now.

Funny thing is, back in the day I remember constantly seeing photos of iPhones sitting docked with the lock screen up, so when I bought my first iPad, my first thought was that I could get a dock and set it up to double as a bedside clock. Not only did I quickly realize that was a dumb idea because of how bright those screens are, I don't think there's actually a way to do it because the lock screen only stays open for a few seconds before going to sleep. Maybe there's a third-party app that solves both those problems, but it's probably not attainable on such an old model.
 

Dake

Well-known member
Citizen
You should be able to tell the Ipad to not sleep or autolock in older versions of IOs. So when you open the clock app, it'd stay on.
 

Donocropolis

Olde-Timey Member
Citizen
You should be able to tell the Ipad to not sleep or autolock in older versions of IOs. So when you open the clock app, it'd stay on.

Then you can have a slightly larger clock next to the existing clock that powers it!
 

Darth_Prime

Well-known member
Citizen
You could reset them all, make sure they all work, and donate to another school.

Or sell on ebay and donate the money.

Sell on ebay and buy Transformers.
 
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