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As the laser swung around, the Chemist made ready to dodge. What would he do? A dramatic leap? A charismatic sidestep? Perhaps he could formulate a compound to enhance his reaction time to- "Aw heck..." Seeing it now too late to get out of the way, the Chemist merely flung himself awkwardly...

Night Cap might just have to take the fall for this one.

The Chemist let out a frustrated grunt and made to rush toward Night Cap's increasingly certain landing point, however, a voice caught his attention and the Chemist stopped short, turning just in time to see Patch and Destron dodging the rampant laser. And near them someone that seemed oddly...

Could be worse, could be that emo cappuccino.

Believe me, I've been trying. Hugs, kisses, fart noises, inexplicable comments and incredibly stupid jokes. The usual stuff isn't working, we need to bring out the heavy ammunition! Time for raspberries! Edit: Raspberries only somewhat effective, hot tea being produced in recompense.

Oh, hey, I also have an access code, in case anyone wants one.

Ironically, dusters are just filled to the brim with dust. It's their curse.

I mean, this doesn't necessarily mean you aren't saved, just that something went wrong with the attempt. The obvious thing would be that I miss and you plop to the ground. But it's up to the GM to decide how creative failure can be.

Suddenly the Chemist's eyes locked on the hurtling pawny with unexpected recognition. "Night Cap..." Half unaware of his own actions, a hand shot into a coat pocket and pulled a pair of vials out, flinging them to where it seemed the airborne equine might land[1]. In one vial, a selection of...

Fair point, tossing a thing is a pretty quick action, so it's not unreasonable to add in. Edit:... Never mind lol

I'm thinking a dexterity check to throw something under Night Cap to break his fall. Success measured in how well I can hit the right spot. I'm being vague because I don't want to spoil the flavor text. I'm just not sure if were in combat time or not. Like we're not 'in combat' but we are...

I can go for him, if he'll be airborne long enough to get back to me

Cliff notes on this guy's appearance: Average hight, build, somewhat skinny. Tousled reddish brown hair. Green eyes. Heavy eyebrows with an elastic face somewhere between David Tennant and Johnny Depp. Wearing rumpled business attire. White button down shirt and loose tie and navy slacks...

I assume that, since Zam didn't give me a skill challenge to escape the surgical equipment, there isn't one. If that's in error, I will adjust my post.

"Yeah, no, I don't think so..." The Chemist rolled off the table and made for the open door, pausing only briefly to collect a threadbare lab coat that might once have been his own, except it was now two sizes too large. Rolling up the sleeves, he reached into the pockets and was pleased by...

“Monday!” The man cried sharply, panting heavily, eyes wild with a terror and anxiety he could not yet understand. Sitting up with a violent motion, he surveyed the scene around him. Was he alone? Dark or light? Where were the trees? What was this ring in his hand? Why didn’t it fit him? Why...

These puns make me want to go up a mountain and be a hermit.

You say smartass, I say challenging culinary preconceptions. Like, if you fold a slice of pizza in half, does that become a taco?