Saturday Morning Cartoons Are Officially Dead

Saturday, October 4, 2014. A day that will live in infamy. The first Saturday in 50 years without Saturday Morning Cartoons.

The axis powers known as cable networks, FCC educational programming requirements, and on-demand programming have struck a fatal blow to the childhood staple of the lazy Saturday morning. The WB’s The Vortexx, the last remaining bastion of magic amongst the gamut of infomercials and cheap educational programming, was hit last week in a surprise attack that left American networks without a Saturday Morning cartoon lineup for the first time in over fifty years.
Papa Smurf is expected to address a combined Congress of the Muppet Babies, Ninja Turtles, Scooby Doo, and the Chipmunks this evening.
Thanks to Buzzfeed, for offering the following eulogy to our collective childhoods. RIP, Saturday Morning Cartoons.