So apparently the shtick is that I get messages sent to me in bottles of booze from all you kids out there. Now this might sound good in theory, but in reality it glitches me off just a little because that means YOU are sucking down my alcoholic sustenance and all I get out of the deal is a damp piece of paper.

Anyway, the mailbag is kind of light this week because we're just getting started, but I'll entertain you as best I have with what I have to work with.

Q: If CYBERTRON doesn't have any water, how where do you sail?

A: See, this is what I'm talking about. What kind of question is that? I'm a SPACE pirate who flies a SPACE pirate ship. I don't sail on a literal sea. But for the record, water on CYBERTRON isn't as legendary as you might think.

Q: Energon stout, or energon pale ale?

A: Stout? Ale? A pirate's drink is none other than Scraplet Grog! Ales and Stouts are made for lesser 'bots.

Q: How do you believe fembots should be treated?

A: I prefer to treat them to a bottle of grog, dinner with the captain and an evening in the captain's quarters exchanging bodily surges. Of course the last time that happened I had a nasty case of barnacles on my drive shaft that didn't clear up for a megacycle.

Q: Is it harder having a peg arm then a peg leg?

A: Only when surfing the 'net.