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So freakin' tired of the Holiday season right now.


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#1 Devcon

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 12:50 AM

Don't want to be a Scrooge, but I've just about have had enough of this holiday season

Of course having the Mall Santa set up his office right in front of my store is perhaps increasing my annoyance at this time of year.

Therefore, to lift my spirits, I need suggestions as to how I should dispatch this red target that sits all day, and I need them before next week, when he finally leaves. The more creative the better.

Suggest away.

Edited by Devcon, 17 December 2011 - 12:51 AM.

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#2 Destron D-69

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 01:10 AM

it would need to be something that would only bother him... you don't want to ruin some kid's childhood, so fish guts under his chair is out. ..hmm

unless you are THAT tired of it?

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#3 tec

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 01:16 AM

Buy alot of thoses cheep doller store laser pointers and mount thing togather and randomly point thim at him like you hired a fireing squad

Thanks Pax!!

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#4 Destron D-69

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 01:25 AM

oooh I like that idea.

#5 Cabooceratops

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 02:43 AM

My suggestion?

Deal with it, old man! icon-waspy.gif

I think I have a pretty good body for someone who miscalculated this planet’s dominant indigenous species and had to construct this form as a last-minute assimilation effort.

 

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#6 Internet Jesus

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 03:10 AM

Give him all the Mudflaps and Tuner Mudflaps.

Have him attempt to give them out to kids.

Kids weep.

Why you make them weep, Santa? These are horrible toys.

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#7 TheMightyMollusk

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 06:12 AM

You can try just staring at him until his face bursts into flames, but I've noticed many mall Santas are using non-flammable fake beards now.

Therefore, go with the laser trick. But just one laser, aimed straight at his eyes, and wait until they're juuuuuust about to take the picture.

Personally, my holiday hate has more to do with working retail and having my entire life schedule forcibly rearranged for the damn seasonal overnight shift. I need a new job.


#8 Ms Virion

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 08:51 AM

2 words. Elf porn.

#9 RockinRobin

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 09:07 AM

you can't beat Old Man Christmas. You might as well join him.

so tie some jingle bells to your socks and wear something green. I suggest pine-sol dipped foliage. When it comes to clothing: less is better. but don't skimp on those jingle socks.

Next time a crowd gathers 'round the red throne jump out of your store screaming carols and announce yourself as Santa's Helper. Spread cheer.

Next year they'll put their display on the other end of the mall. icon-ironhide.gif

#10 John Nemo

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Posted 20 December 2011 - 04:42 AM

Do you have 300 dollars, plausible deniability, and the attention of a tribe of dissaffected youth?

Because there in lies the answer.


#11 corgsopal

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Posted 20 December 2011 - 10:46 AM

You could always casually approach Santa, gently caress his shoulder and ask if he wants to stuff your stocking. Or shovel some coal or some other innuendo.
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#12 Devcon

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 08:23 AM

Just two more days. Two more days until the fat man leaves.
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#13 Zek

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 10:22 AM

But don't you guys have Boxing day too? So 3 days?

#14 Scaleblade

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 01:06 PM

Boxing Day is our Black Friday. Religion has no place in capitolism.




#15 Oppropro

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE(Corgsopal @ Dec 20 2011, 10:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You could always casually approach Santa, gently caress his shoulder and ask if he wants to stuff your stocking. Or shovel some coal or some other innuendo.



This but I would add a wedding dress and 80s makeup

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#16 TheMightyMollusk

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 02:30 PM

And stuff your undergarments like David Bowie.

#17 Oppropro

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 11:35 PM

you could invite members of the Westborough Baptist Church up to picket him and call him Satan Claus

no matter how badly you want to, you will never kill the dog

#18 Destron D-69

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Posted 24 December 2011 - 02:01 PM

and risk them forgetting how to get back... no evil next door santa is worth that risk

#19 Devcon

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Posted 24 December 2011 - 05:38 PM

IT'S OVER!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!

And Scaleblade's analysis of Boxing Day is correct. But nowadays it's more like Boxing WEEK.
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#20 Devcon

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Posted 24 December 2011 - 09:34 PM

Incidentally
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