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@  Steevy Maximus : (08 December 2016 - 12:04 AM)

If Rattrap is still there, I'll just buy it for Toys for Tots. Two plus years is too long to see a figure shelfwarm

@  The Doctor Who : (07 December 2016 - 09:24 PM)

About this much:

@  Telly : (07 December 2016 - 09:06 PM)

what length of rope do you think youll need?

@  D.M : (07 December 2016 - 08:59 PM)

He's gonna need more rope.

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 06:12 PM)

C'mon now, you can't play the game if you're not going to follow the rules.

@  The Doctor Who : (07 December 2016 - 05:04 PM)

Candlejack Skellington.

@  Noideaforaname : (07 December 2016 - 05:02 PM)

CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 04:27 PM)

What was he talking about? That old cartoon about Candlej

@  Dracula : (07 December 2016 - 03:01 PM)

ShadowMan024's body was never found

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 01:59 PM)

Apparently saying "Omnios" has the same effect as saying "Cand

@  Bass X0 : (07 December 2016 - 01:58 PM)

Don't say that name three times or He will return.

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 01:50 PM)

She also voiced the main villain in that show Omnios liked on Nicke

@  MEDdMI : (07 December 2016 - 09:26 AM)

Emperor's New School series was fun, too. Eartha Kitt still voiced Yzma

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 09:03 AM)

That was a brilliant bit.

@  Paladin : (07 December 2016 - 08:29 AM)

Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill- got it.

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 07:55 AM)

Dammit I was too late!

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:35 AM)

BOOOOOOO YAAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAAH!

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:35 AM)

Bring it on.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (07 December 2016 - 12:34 AM)

Most likely.

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:20 AM)

Sharp rocks at the bottom?

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 11:28 PM)

No no I did see it. The "yep" follows the waterfall.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (06 December 2016 - 11:19 PM)

BlackMax.. You've never seen Emperor's New Groove? Stop whatever your doing and go watch it.. And while not nearly as good.. Watch Krunk's new groove as well!

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 11:00 PM)

Yep.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:44 PM)

Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

@  Locoman : (06 December 2016 - 09:39 PM)

Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:39 PM)

Why does she even HAVE that lever?

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:38 PM)

WRONG LEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

@  MEDdMI : (06 December 2016 - 09:37 PM)

Pull the lever, Krunk!

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:33 PM)

The Emperor's New Groove.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 09:33 PM)

I didn't understand that reference.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 09:32 PM)

I...

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:32 PM)

I love that movie.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:02 PM)

AHAHAHAHA! IT'S DINNERTIME! *thunder crashes*

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (06 December 2016 - 08:00 PM)

+1 for Locoman!

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 07:14 PM)

Give each of them an Armada Sideswipe.

@  Locoman : (06 December 2016 - 06:45 PM)

Turn them into fleas, harmless, little fleas, and then put that flea in a box, and then put that box inside of another box, and then mail that box to yourself, and when it arrives... SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 06:13 PM)

Load them into cannons, load the cannons into bigger cannons, launch the cannons into orbit, then launch them back down into the Marianas Trench.

@  Patchouli Kn... : (06 December 2016 - 06:12 PM)

Load them both into cannons and fire them into orbit.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 05:19 PM)

We'll load Trump into the cannon and shoot ~him at~ Bieber. Problem solved.

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 04:08 PM)

Oh yeah, like I had enough left over for a safety net after buying the cannon. I work retail here!

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 03:12 PM)

so long as theres a safety net i can land in sure!

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 03:09 PM)

Hey man, I didn't get this comically large cannon to NOT shoot somebody out ot it. So unless you're volunteering to take his place.....

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 03:02 PM)

cant we just shoot him, full stop??

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 03:01 PM)

Can't we just like, shoot him out of a comically large cannon or something?

@  Paladin : (06 December 2016 - 02:59 PM)

first you agree to throw Justin Bieber out into the cold & let him freeze to death...

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 02:14 PM)

Say, give us all the Tim Horton's and about 700 kilos of Coffee Crisps and we'll take all the cold. How about it?

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 02:13 PM)

Well hey, let's not be hasty. Canada and the US are allies, we're all friends here on this board, maybe we can negotiate.

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 02:11 PM)

just tryin to save you some misery mate :)

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 04:37 AM)

Well not any more I'm not.:(

@  Telly : (05 December 2016 - 07:59 PM)

@blackmax-cold leads to snow. snow leads to delayed shipments. delayed shipments lead to a paranoid blackmax. are you SURE you want the cold??


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Little tidbit of a story


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#1 Lizard King

Lizard King

    I burned out my eyes, I cut off my tounge.

  • Citizen
  • 9600 posts

Posted 06 October 2011 - 12:15 AM

I'm standing on a Chilean hillside and it's absolutely magnificent. The temperature is exactly 68 degrees fahrenheit and there is a slight breeze coming from the south east. For a moment, everything is right in the world, but that moment quickly ends as I hear gunfire in the distance. There's been a small war raging in the Republic of Chile over the past few months and the world turns a blind eye to it. Innocents are being killed left and right, caught in the crossfire. The preservation of humanity is my self imposed purpose, and in order to achieve this goal I must stop this bloodshed today.

I propel myself in to the air and zoom across the sky at nearly the speed of sound. I travel the 3.8 miles in under six seconds and land gracefully with relative ease. The combatants are shocked at first by my presense. I wonder sometimes what it must feel like to be human. Immediately I 'feel' their guns, ammunition, grenades, knives - and I call them to me. The shock turns to terror when all their armaments fly out of their hands and off their bodies and converge on mine. Most of them flee at this point, some are so frightened they cannot move. Some even urinate themselves. In a matter of seconds all the metal objects are broken down and absorbed in to my body by the incalculable number of nano machines that inhabit it.

At this point there is no one within sight of me. I believe my message has been delievered in an appropriate manner. I'll continue to keep an eye on this area, but with so many problems in the world right now it's hard to focus on one place. However, I must be diligent. No problem is too small or too large for me to handle. I have appointed myself the protector of this race and intend to watch it thrive and flourish for many years to come.

-

After a short flight home I'm greeted by my colleague, Nataniel, who appears to be very 'fried' as he likes to call it.

"Sup dude?"

"Hello Nathaniel, how are you today?"

He shrugs. "Can't complain."

"Very well then. I would chat with you longer but I have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Cool man. We gonna beat anybody up today?"

"Perhaps. I'll be in contact shortly."

I meld in to the floor of my domicile, as my unique physiology allows me to do, and travel to the area that has been playfully dubbed the 'Danger Room'. I believe the title is meant to be ironic. As I fully re assimilate myself I see Leslie and Kyle sitting in the floor smoking marijuana out of a pipe, ignoring their duties. Per the usual.

"What's up Vincent? I'm sorry I vomited every where last night but I was just so jivey. You wanna hit this bowl?"

"No thank you Kyle. You know I can't become intoxicated."

"I know, but I still like to offer."

"Leslie, this is the last time I'm going to tell you - don't bring men back here. This place is at the bottom of the ocean for a reason."

"Dude, just chill out. They were cool guys. One of them was for Kyle anyway but he's a bitch and passed out."

"hug off."

Despite my vast intellect I simply cannot fathom why these two bicker the way they do.

"Regardless - if it happens again you will no longer be permitted entrance. Is that understood?"

"Ooookay," they both moan.

"Now, have either of you heard from Michal? What about Joseph? And has anything happened with the situation in Hong Kong?"

Leslie leaps to her feet and with a wave of her hand brings a screen up in front of her.

"There's been no change