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@  Smokey : (06 May 2016 - 06:46 PM)

The only conclusion is that SG Forster and Sorenson stole the credit.

@  Smokey : (06 May 2016 - 06:06 PM)

Yes, but IRL Jim Sorenson and Bill Forster are far from evil if they can write such a wonderful, glorious work of literature.

@  Locoman : (06 May 2016 - 05:48 PM)

Yeah, the allspark almanac said that our universe is an evil backwards universe.

@  Bass X0 : (06 May 2016 - 05:23 PM)

Oh man, are you cereal?

@  Locoman : (06 May 2016 - 04:42 PM)

we ARE the shattered glass universe

@  OrionPax44 : (06 May 2016 - 04:03 PM)

We would have dropped the bombs first. Good is so much more honorable and Evil is so much more evil in SG. It'd be more like T2 Judgemnet day and the SG Nazis would bring the world together. Just feels weird saying it.

@  Bass X0 : (06 May 2016 - 03:05 PM)

In the Shattered Glass universe, would the heroic Nazis have won World War II?

@  MEDdMI : (06 May 2016 - 02:04 PM)

*sips coffee mug, slams it on the prosecutor's table with a wry smile* Special blend #102.

@  OrionPax44 : (06 May 2016 - 12:34 PM)

If it's bitter you made it wrong. Where's that "Good Eats brew" episode

@  Smokey : (06 May 2016 - 11:32 AM)

Darker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than hell itself... That is coffee.

@  OrionPax44 : (06 May 2016 - 11:21 AM)

Don't let him get to it. You know how he mixes with coffee. Uh oh here we go again.

@  MEDdMI : (06 May 2016 - 11:20 AM)

Trite! *throws coffee mug*

@  OrionPax44 : (06 May 2016 - 11:13 AM)

*Sips his coffee* settle down Cornholio

@  Smokey : (06 May 2016 - 10:41 AM)

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!

@  BlackMax : (06 May 2016 - 09:37 AM)

Settle down Beavis.

@  Smokey : (06 May 2016 - 09:13 AM)

HE SAID "PUD," AND THEN "DING!"

@  LBD "Nyt... : (06 May 2016 - 06:22 AM)

"At this point, he probably is."

@  MEDdMI : (06 May 2016 - 06:09 AM)

Did someone say pudding?

@  Donocropolis : (06 May 2016 - 06:00 AM)

MY EYE! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it!

@  Whirl Maximus : (06 May 2016 - 05:08 AM)

NOT LENNY!

@  Scavgraphics : (06 May 2016 - 03:20 AM)

CIVIL WAR!!!! WOOOO!!!

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 May 2016 - 02:06 AM)

Something about "Universe on Fire" speaks to me.

@  TriBlurr : (06 May 2016 - 02:03 AM)

4:30

@  TriBlurr : (06 May 2016 - 02:03 AM)

Its $:30 in the morning. Im awake because I've discovered the band Gloryhammer

@  OrionPax44 : (06 May 2016 - 12:05 AM)

Shirley you don't wanna go there

@  RichardT1977 : (05 May 2016 - 11:45 PM)

Listen, Betty, don't start with your "white zone" s*** again.

@  Smokey : (05 May 2016 - 03:54 PM)

Damn zoning laws.

@  OrionPax44 : (05 May 2016 - 03:53 PM)

All this zoning is starting to cross the line here.

@  Rycochet : (05 May 2016 - 03:34 PM)

Earth's most powerful soldiers are earth's last chance against the Spiral Zone!

@  Smokey : (05 May 2016 - 03:31 PM)

RANDOM ZOOOOOOONE!

@  TheMightyMol... : (05 May 2016 - 03:24 PM)

Want to buy car parts and hope they actually give you the right ones? Head to Auto Zone.

@  The Doctor Who : (05 May 2016 - 03:22 PM)

Want to build a shop and don't know where it's legal? Go to the Commercial Zone.

@  TheMightyMol... : (05 May 2016 - 03:21 PM)

Careful with these jokes, they could lead us right into the Danger Zone.

@  Patchouli Kn... : (05 May 2016 - 03:20 PM)

You're running to make a touchdown, when suddenly, you hear Linkin Park - In The End Zone.

@  Patchouli Kn... : (05 May 2016 - 03:17 PM)

The Princess of Friendship's secret dungeon - the Twilight Zone.

@  The Doctor Who : (05 May 2016 - 03:14 PM)

When you go to bed at 10, wake up at 6 and only get seven hours sleep? You just got Time Zoned!

@  ▲ndrusi : (05 May 2016 - 03:11 PM)

what's with this checkered orange dirt? why are there crab robots here? oh dammit I got green hill zoned again

@  Puny Flesh C... : (05 May 2016 - 02:18 PM)

I actually thought about changing my username to'Captain Friendzone' - cos it's ironic yeah? ;)

@  Smokey : (05 May 2016 - 01:47 PM)

@Paladin: Yep, that's what a friendzone is.

@  Locoman : (05 May 2016 - 01:00 PM)

I knew someone who got put in the calzone by a girl. Tomato sauce burns are no laughing matter.

@  TheMightyMol... : (05 May 2016 - 12:57 PM)

If you leave your mass graves open for random people to lie naked in, you're doing it wrong.

@  Paladin : (05 May 2016 - 12:53 PM)

isn't "friendzone" a made-up thing creepers use to comfort themselves when they get shot down by women who wouldn't willingly lie naked with them in a mass grave?

@  The Predaking : (05 May 2016 - 12:49 PM)

"You need to give up climbing that tree. That tree is so far gone, that it is cut down, made into 2X4s and it now a coat closet in Dallas."

@  The Predaking : (05 May 2016 - 12:48 PM)

I was discussing with my co-worker about him getting out of the friend zone with this girl:

@  Smokey : (05 May 2016 - 12:17 PM)

I smell BACON! BACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACON IT'S BACONNNNN!

@  TheMightyMol... : (05 May 2016 - 12:12 PM)

I'm not. I wallow in your misery.

@  ▲ndrusi : (05 May 2016 - 11:58 AM)

Yeah, so ham I.

@  OrionPax44 : (05 May 2016 - 11:20 AM)

Let me just say ahead of time that I'm suey for the pun

@  Steevy Maximus : (05 May 2016 - 10:44 AM)

I'm sure some are squealing with delight

@  ▲ndrusi : (05 May 2016 - 10:40 AM)

Great, a bacon pun. Now people making pig puns will hog the chatbox.


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Retirement


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#1 1stStageMidboss

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 07:24 AM

I had this idea for a story last night, so I spent the morning writing it up. It's set in a sort of vague continuity of my own devising, using bits and pieces from basically whatever I feel like. It's probably cliche to write about Optimus, but I wanted to write this as a way of putting him away from later stuff I write.

----

The bright, yellow sun shining down through the clear, blue sky. The waves lapping against the smooth sand. The people playing, laughing, relaxing. It was a sight that Optimus Prime felt he would never tire of.

It still felt strange to be here on Earth, the war now over. The memories of Decepticon bombs destroying the places he had loved, cerebro-shells turning friend against friend and the destruction of their homeworld itself would never fade from his datatrax , but now they were only memories - nothing more. He could drive through Earth’s countryside for hours without worry of Decepticon attacks interrupting his peace. It was true that some Decepticons were still out there, hiding across the galaxy, but that did nothing to diminish his relief. He’d won.

And that meant that he could leave. Many of his comrades had expected him to go into politics after leaving the military, but Optimus felt that if there was one thing he needed more than anything else now, it was rest. All it took was a reformat and an energy signature damper and that was it - Optimus Prime disappeared, his location missing to all but a few.

Optimus watched as his “owner”, Marissa, rode the waves on her surfboard. While there could hardly be more difference between an Autobot former Supreme Commander and a young human watersport champion, the two of them got on surprisingly well. Most of their time was spent travelling - Marissa was in search of the best surfing waves, and Optimus was happy just to get to see the Earth at peace.

However, no matter how much he told himself otherwise, Optimus knew deep down that this peace could never last. Unfortunately for him, that end was now. Hidden deep within layers of simulated Earth machinery, his optics flared in shock as huge geysers began to erupt out of the sea. A white and blue hovercraft came bursting out of the spray, and with a series of whirrs, clicks and clunks transformed into a long-armed robot, laughing maniacally.
“Foooooolish humans!” screamed a high-pitched voice. “Cooooower beneath the might of Storm Surge, the greatest of all Decepticons!” Optimus had a feeling that this thug wasn’t anything near as glorious as he claimed - at the very least, he’d never heard of this Storm Surge - but at the same time, his weaponry looked quite powerful, and one Decepticon would be all that was needed to cause chaos and destruction in such a quiet place.

Marissa ran up to him, holding her surfboard under her arm. “What do we do?” she asked in panic. Optimus was frustrated to find that his scanners didn’t detect any Autobot energy signatures within its range - it could take hours for a team to arrive and stop Storm Surge. The fear on Marissa’s face served just as further proof that he had no choice.
“There’s only one thing we can do…” he replied. “I must fight.” He drove at full speed towards the Decepticon, and in a matter of astroseconds, complex machinery slid into position as he assumed his robot mode for the first time in deca-cycles. He rammed into Storm Surge shoulder-first, knocking him off balance.
“Oho! Whaaaat do we have here, then?” he declared, the emitters all over his arms shifting towards Optimus. “A little Autobot who thinks he can fight the glooooorious Storm Surge?” A massive blast of liquid hit Optimus square in the chest, searing a large, corroded wound into his armour plating. Once again, Storm Surge let out a crazed laugh, bursting with overconfidence. “Yooooou could never defeat my might!”
Prime decided that even if Storm Surge was mostly just talk, his weaponry was to be reckoned with. “Marissa!” he called out to his friend, hoping he would understand what he needed. She stood in surprise for a second, then threw her surfboard towards the Autobot. He stretched out his hand, and magnetic force pulled it towards him. As he grabbed it, the Reconfiguration Matrix resting deep within his spark burst into action, transforming it into a double-bladed sword. Just as planned, thought the Autobot, as he advanced back towards the shocked Decepticon.

Swoosh

He swung his surfblade across Storm Surge’s legs, cutting through vital servos and rendering him unable to stand.

Swoosh

He thrust the sword into Storm Surge’s torso, penetrating his motor relay to cut off his access to his arms - and with them, his weapons.

Swoosh

He brought the blade down to Storm Surge’s neck - and stopped. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Decepticon. The war is over. This world is safe. No matter what you try, you cannot win.” He tapped a small panel on his forearm, which let out a bleep. “An Autobot team will be coming soon to take you into custody.” The immobile Decepticon was silent for the first time, and his optics faded as he entered stasis lock in response to the sudden heavy damage.

Once more, Optimus gazed out over the beach. It was much quieter and emptier now, but the vibrant beauty remained. He handed Marissa back her surfboard, and transformed back into vehicle mode for her to hop in. As they drove off, Optimus began to wonder. Even now, in his retirement, he couldn’t escape the war. Would the time ever come when it was truly finished?

But then again, that reminded him of something his old companion Sparkplug had once told him, when the two of them were stuck in a collapsed building for an entire orbital cycle. “It’s not about winning for us, is it? It’s about not losing… Protecting what we have.”

Edited by Amadeus Windfall, 15 January 2010 - 08:16 AM.

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#2 newsy891

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Posted 16 January 2010 - 04:29 PM

I like your characterization of retired Optimus. He may not be the supreme commander anymore, but he still has all the traits that made him the commander he was: the edge, the quick thinking, and the restraint when it's time for restraint.

And the Sparkplug flashback line - chilling. I haven't written in a while, and that line is giving me ideas...

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#3 Freddycon

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Posted 17 January 2010 - 08:07 AM

Wow, I like this a lot! Nice to see Prime is still willing to give it his all to protect what he loves and cares for, and to see his choice to remain in hiding is a brilliant toucvh, after all, he'd be a far too obvious target for the straggling Decepticons to take on if he were still in the limelight.

Also a really nice touch with that "Tag-team" bit with Marissa and the surfboard/sword!




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