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@  Steevy Maximus : (08 December 2016 - 12:04 AM)

If Rattrap is still there, I'll just buy it for Toys for Tots. Two plus years is too long to see a figure shelfwarm

@  The Doctor Who : (07 December 2016 - 09:24 PM)

About this much:

@  Telly : (07 December 2016 - 09:06 PM)

what length of rope do you think youll need?

@  D.M : (07 December 2016 - 08:59 PM)

He's gonna need more rope.

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 06:12 PM)

C'mon now, you can't play the game if you're not going to follow the rules.

@  The Doctor Who : (07 December 2016 - 05:04 PM)

Candlejack Skellington.

@  Noideaforaname : (07 December 2016 - 05:02 PM)

CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 04:27 PM)

What was he talking about? That old cartoon about Candlej

@  Dracula : (07 December 2016 - 03:01 PM)

ShadowMan024's body was never found

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 01:59 PM)

Apparently saying "Omnios" has the same effect as saying "Cand

@  Bass X0 : (07 December 2016 - 01:58 PM)

Don't say that name three times or He will return.

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 01:50 PM)

She also voiced the main villain in that show Omnios liked on Nicke

@  MEDdMI : (07 December 2016 - 09:26 AM)

Emperor's New School series was fun, too. Eartha Kitt still voiced Yzma

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 09:03 AM)

That was a brilliant bit.

@  Paladin : (07 December 2016 - 08:29 AM)

Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill- got it.

@  BlackMax : (07 December 2016 - 07:55 AM)

Dammit I was too late!

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:35 AM)

BOOOOOOO YAAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAAH!

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:35 AM)

Bring it on.

@  SHIELD Agent 47 : (07 December 2016 - 12:34 AM)

Most likely.

@  ShadowMan024 : (07 December 2016 - 12:20 AM)

Sharp rocks at the bottom?

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 11:28 PM)

No no I did see it. The "yep" follows the waterfall.

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (06 December 2016 - 11:19 PM)

BlackMax.. You've never seen Emperor's New Groove? Stop whatever your doing and go watch it.. And while not nearly as good.. Watch Krunk's new groove as well!

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 11:00 PM)

Yep.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:44 PM)

Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

@  Locoman : (06 December 2016 - 09:39 PM)

Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:39 PM)

Why does she even HAVE that lever?

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:38 PM)

WRONG LEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

@  MEDdMI : (06 December 2016 - 09:37 PM)

Pull the lever, Krunk!

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:33 PM)

The Emperor's New Groove.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 09:33 PM)

I didn't understand that reference.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 09:32 PM)

I...

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:32 PM)

I love that movie.

@  ShadowMan024 : (06 December 2016 - 09:02 PM)

AHAHAHAHA! IT'S DINNERTIME! *thunder crashes*

@  Tm_Silverclaw : (06 December 2016 - 08:00 PM)

+1 for Locoman!

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 07:14 PM)

Give each of them an Armada Sideswipe.

@  Locoman : (06 December 2016 - 06:45 PM)

Turn them into fleas, harmless, little fleas, and then put that flea in a box, and then put that box inside of another box, and then mail that box to yourself, and when it arrives... SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 06:13 PM)

Load them into cannons, load the cannons into bigger cannons, launch the cannons into orbit, then launch them back down into the Marianas Trench.

@  Patchouli Kn... : (06 December 2016 - 06:12 PM)

Load them both into cannons and fire them into orbit.

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 05:19 PM)

We'll load Trump into the cannon and shoot ~him at~ Bieber. Problem solved.

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 04:08 PM)

Oh yeah, like I had enough left over for a safety net after buying the cannon. I work retail here!

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 03:12 PM)

so long as theres a safety net i can land in sure!

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 03:09 PM)

Hey man, I didn't get this comically large cannon to NOT shoot somebody out ot it. So unless you're volunteering to take his place.....

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 03:02 PM)

cant we just shoot him, full stop??

@  TheMightyMol... : (06 December 2016 - 03:01 PM)

Can't we just like, shoot him out of a comically large cannon or something?

@  Paladin : (06 December 2016 - 02:59 PM)

first you agree to throw Justin Bieber out into the cold & let him freeze to death...

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 02:14 PM)

Say, give us all the Tim Horton's and about 700 kilos of Coffee Crisps and we'll take all the cold. How about it?

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 02:13 PM)

Well hey, let's not be hasty. Canada and the US are allies, we're all friends here on this board, maybe we can negotiate.

@  Telly : (06 December 2016 - 02:11 PM)

just tryin to save you some misery mate :)

@  BlackMax : (06 December 2016 - 04:37 AM)

Well not any more I'm not.:(

@  Telly : (05 December 2016 - 07:59 PM)

@blackmax-cold leads to snow. snow leads to delayed shipments. delayed shipments lead to a paranoid blackmax. are you SURE you want the cold??


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Retirement


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2 replies to this topic

#1 1stStageMidboss

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 07:24 AM

I had this idea for a story last night, so I spent the morning writing it up. It's set in a sort of vague continuity of my own devising, using bits and pieces from basically whatever I feel like. It's probably cliche to write about Optimus, but I wanted to write this as a way of putting him away from later stuff I write.

----

The bright, yellow sun shining down through the clear, blue sky. The waves lapping against the smooth sand. The people playing, laughing, relaxing. It was a sight that Optimus Prime felt he would never tire of.

It still felt strange to be here on Earth, the war now over. The memories of Decepticon bombs destroying the places he had loved, cerebro-shells turning friend against friend and the destruction of their homeworld itself would never fade from his datatrax , but now they were only memories - nothing more. He could drive through Earth’s countryside for hours without worry of Decepticon attacks interrupting his peace. It was true that some Decepticons were still out there, hiding across the galaxy, but that did nothing to diminish his relief. He’d won.

And that meant that he could leave. Many of his comrades had expected him to go into politics after leaving the military, but Optimus felt that if there was one thing he needed more than anything else now, it was rest. All it took was a reformat and an energy signature damper and that was it - Optimus Prime disappeared, his location missing to all but a few.

Optimus watched as his “owner”, Marissa, rode the waves on her surfboard. While there could hardly be more difference between an Autobot former Supreme Commander and a young human watersport champion, the two of them got on surprisingly well. Most of their time was spent travelling - Marissa was in search of the best surfing waves, and Optimus was happy just to get to see the Earth at peace.

However, no matter how much he told himself otherwise, Optimus knew deep down that this peace could never last. Unfortunately for him, that end was now. Hidden deep within layers of simulated Earth machinery, his optics flared in shock as huge geysers began to erupt out of the sea. A white and blue hovercraft came bursting out of the spray, and with a series of whirrs, clicks and clunks transformed into a long-armed robot, laughing maniacally.
“Foooooolish humans!” screamed a high-pitched voice. “Cooooower beneath the might of Storm Surge, the greatest of all Decepticons!” Optimus had a feeling that this thug wasn’t anything near as glorious as he claimed - at the very least, he’d never heard of this Storm Surge - but at the same time, his weaponry looked quite powerful, and one Decepticon would be all that was needed to cause chaos and destruction in such a quiet place.

Marissa ran up to him, holding her surfboard under her arm. “What do we do?” she asked in panic. Optimus was frustrated to find that his scanners didn’t detect any Autobot energy signatures within its range - it could take hours for a team to arrive and stop Storm Surge. The fear on Marissa’s face served just as further proof that he had no choice.
“There’s only one thing we can do…” he replied. “I must fight.” He drove at full speed towards the Decepticon, and in a matter of astroseconds, complex machinery slid into position as he assumed his robot mode for the first time in deca-cycles. He rammed into Storm Surge shoulder-first, knocking him off balance.
“Oho! Whaaaat do we have here, then?” he declared, the emitters all over his arms shifting towards Optimus. “A little Autobot who thinks he can fight the glooooorious Storm Surge?” A massive blast of liquid hit Optimus square in the chest, searing a large, corroded wound into his armour plating. Once again, Storm Surge let out a crazed laugh, bursting with overconfidence. “Yooooou could never defeat my might!”
Prime decided that even if Storm Surge was mostly just talk, his weaponry was to be reckoned with. “Marissa!” he called out to his friend, hoping he would understand what he needed. She stood in surprise for a second, then threw her surfboard towards the Autobot. He stretched out his hand, and magnetic force pulled it towards him. As he grabbed it, the Reconfiguration Matrix resting deep within his spark burst into action, transforming it into a double-bladed sword. Just as planned, thought the Autobot, as he advanced back towards the shocked Decepticon.

Swoosh

He swung his surfblade across Storm Surge’s legs, cutting through vital servos and rendering him unable to stand.

Swoosh

He thrust the sword into Storm Surge’s torso, penetrating his motor relay to cut off his access to his arms - and with them, his weapons.

Swoosh

He brought the blade down to Storm Surge’s neck - and stopped. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Decepticon. The war is over. This world is safe. No matter what you try, you cannot win.” He tapped a small panel on his forearm, which let out a bleep. “An Autobot team will be coming soon to take you into custody.” The immobile Decepticon was silent for the first time, and his optics faded as he entered stasis lock in response to the sudden heavy damage.

Once more, Optimus gazed out over the beach. It was much quieter and emptier now, but the vibrant beauty remained. He handed Marissa back her surfboard, and transformed back into vehicle mode for her to hop in. As they drove off, Optimus began to wonder. Even now, in his retirement, he couldn’t escape the war. Would the time ever come when it was truly finished?

But then again, that reminded him of something his old companion Sparkplug had once told him, when the two of them were stuck in a collapsed building for an entire orbital cycle. “It’s not about winning for us, is it? It’s about not losing… Protecting what we have.”

Edited by Amadeus Windfall, 15 January 2010 - 08:16 AM.

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#2 newsy891

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Posted 16 January 2010 - 04:29 PM

I like your characterization of retired Optimus. He may not be the supreme commander anymore, but he still has all the traits that made him the commander he was: the edge, the quick thinking, and the restraint when it's time for restraint.

And the Sparkplug flashback line - chilling. I haven't written in a while, and that line is giving me ideas...

More fanfic at Offscreen Fics - random archived bits of Transformers fic, with a side of Doctor Who
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#3 Freddycon

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Posted 17 January 2010 - 08:07 AM

Wow, I like this a lot! Nice to see Prime is still willing to give it his all to protect what he loves and cares for, and to see his choice to remain in hiding is a brilliant toucvh, after all, he'd be a far too obvious target for the straggling Decepticons to take on if he were still in the limelight.

Also a really nice touch with that "Tag-team" bit with Marissa and the surfboard/sword!