I'm making a RPG loosely based off the FiM show. I have a 30 minute demo of the game ready to try if I can figure out how to upload it. I would like for people to play it, check for errors, and give me general ideas for the game. I think I did pretty good so far, the few people I shared it with seems to like it.

There is only so much I can do with my limited resources and seeing how editing a 30 second scene can quickly turn into a 30 minute job it can become rather frustrating. But, I would like to add more content to it then just going to the next main objective, like a few side missions and sub-plots and what not.

A brief history on the game creation so far, I started this game in mid airing of the first season of FiM. Right after the release of my first game. Then all the critics said my first game had bad grammar, poor plot, story moved to quickly, fights where to easy and it was to hard to figure out what to do next. That kind of killed my desire to work on the another one. But, I finally decided to get back into and I worked rather hard to remove the things people didn't like in my last game.

Download last demo version here 8/27/2011
Instructions:
It will ask to install in the system 32 folder by default, just install it to desktop or location of your choice and it should run fine.

Controls are Arrow Keys, Enter and Esc. Hold Shift while moving to run.

Screen Shots:


Patch Notes:
8/27/2011
- Fixed a glitch that froze the game when a player stepped on the bridge after the first fight.
- Fixed some grammar errors
- Changed class names
- Added the next boss

I suggest Mediafire. It's a decent free filehosting service.

Thanks for the help! =D


I would love too but I don't know how to record video. I might put up some screen shots later though.

CamStudio?

Just a question, did you run the files throough some sort of antivirus before uploading them? I ask because it sounds like your pc's infected with something from that general thread, and I'd rather not unlease a trojan or something on my own pc.

Yes, it should be safe, but you can run the file threw your antivirus thingy to be on the safe side. But, as I said before, I have given it to several people already and none of them reported a virus yet.

Hmm . . . Not bad, I'd say. However, I do have a few small nits to pick. First of all, SPELL CHECK. It is your friend. Second, is it supposed to freeze shortly after you HIGHLIGHT to view:
leave Rarity's house after rescuing Applebloom? 'Cuz mine did. I got the textbox with the green-haired male character (Spike perhaps? Or maybe Big Mac?) saying HIGHLIGHT to view:
"Don't let it into the town!", pressed enter to close said textbox, and then none of the controls worked. Or was that just the end of the demo? I would replay to see if it happens again, but I'm too tired to right now.

Otherwise, I would definitely like to see a polished full version of this!

P.S. Why is Rarity, of all ponies, the one inventing HIGHLIGHT to view:
magical communication devices? That would strike me as being more up Twi's alley. Or Pinkie's, maybe.

Edit: Also, yeah, virus-free on my end, too.

The event trigger was not removed from the map. You went back to the wrong spot and it re-triggered, but having no objects to manipulate, it froze. It's a bug.

Ah. That explains that, then. I'll be re-playing it again, now!
Edit: Running commentary time!

1. You missed the L in "Fluttershy." You may want to fix that.

2. Once again, Rarity? Inventing technologies? Rarity the fashion designer? Alright, last time I mention that.

3. Applejack says "I can let you go out there alone." Should probably change that to "can't".
(I would note all of the spelling/grammatical errors, but there is at least one in almost every other textbox. You REALLY need someone to proof read this for you. When you get a full script written, I'd be happy to be that someone, but in the meantime, in order to keep this commentary post short, I will only be noting the errors that change or confuse the meanings of what the character in question is trying to say.)

4. Okay, I am going to break my rule and include this one just because it's one of my bigger pet peeves. NEVER end a sentence with the word "at" when it is describing a location. (Yes, I know technically the rule is never end a sentence with a preposition, but this particular rule doesn't usually bother me except in the case of the word "at".)

5. I just noticed that even though I corrected Fluttershy's name when prompted to give her a new one at the beginning, her name--once she is a member of my party--has been changed back to Futtershy. Bug, perhaps?

6. Haha, there's always some kind of crystal, isn't there?
6b. *Rainbow hits the crystal* She would, wouldn't she?

7. Um, How do I get to the Everfree Forest? the little area beyond the well in the northeast corner of the town doesn't go anywhere. Is that it? is the demo over now?

8. "Northshire Town"!? Oh, come on, now. At least call the town Ponyville.

I think I figured out one of the problems, I accidentally uploaded the in progress version of the game rather then the demo version. The demo version is suppose to say has ended when you get to a point and go back to the title screen. I'll have to look over the part after the rescue to see what went wrong, that would be like the third glitch found in the game so far so I think I didn't pretty good, lol.

1. I fixed Fluttershy's name. Thanks for catching that.

2. It is more for a plot convenience. I can only have 4 members in a party and I want everypony to be involved and seeing how she is the only other magic user left out, I thought it was best to explain her as having some way to keep in touch with everypony.

3. I'm looking over what Applejack says and I can't find that misspelled text, what I see says "can't". I would love to have some one help me with write a script for it. It would make it a lot easier on me, lol.

4. Where was that grammatical error at?

5. Name creation is actually a new feature of the game I added, haven't figured out how to make it stick to the characters yet. I was just fiddling with it to see what I can do.

Oh, I see. That explains a lot.

1. Alrighty, then.

2. I completely understand. I figured it probably had something to do with party limits. Another option might be to have Twilight create the orbs and give one of them to Rarity, so Rarity is still involved, but her character seems more accurate.

3. I believe it is AJ's first or second textbox, though you may have already corrected it for the demo version. Also, if you want me to proofread it, just send me whatever script you have thus far (let me know what program you're using, and I'll see if I can download it to see the script in its native environment), and I'd be happy to proof it for you.

4. Ahahaa . . . I see what you did thar. It's right as we are leaving the town when Fluttershy says something along the lines of "where do you think she could be at?" That "at" shouldn't be there.

5. Ah. I kinda figured. Well, good luck figuring that out. Would you like me to look into that, too, while I'm proofreading?

That one glitch you mention seems to be the same one that is haunting me from before, but I think I worked it out.

I fixed the text to read "where do you think she could be?".

The funny thing is I have no script written for it yet, I just make it up as I go along. Kind of why I'm looking for people to help write a story for it. I can PM what I'm probably going to add next. I normally just think of the situation I want to add next then build the dialog around it as I create it.

Hmm . . . Well, send me what you have so far, maybe let me know where you're going with it, and I'll see what I can do!

I sent you the script I have so far, you can fill in the dialog that happens at each event as you see fit and I'll try to add it in. If you can think of any thing else that you would like to see happen after that let me know, always looking for new ideas.

I'll even put your name into the credits as a writer! =D

Unfortunately, I'm struggling with my own script for my visual novel.

I understand, but maybe a change of style will clear up any writers block you might have.

Added a new updated version of my game. It leads up to the next boss. I was thinking of having Discord the final boss even though we haven't seen him yet.

Downloading now. Will let you know what I think of it in a moment.
Edit: I will also try to proofread the rest of the dialogue and send you any necessary corrections.

Thank you, that would help.

I'll be posting most of my commentary (except for dialogue editing) in this post, so you might want to be re-checking this post occasionally, Sobana.
EDIT: Nevermind, it took me too long to get back to this, so I'll just be posting my comments in another post.

First thing I note is that there is no music outside of combat. While there isn't necessarily anything wrong with this, I've often found that one of the most powerful and memorable attributes of little pseudo-independent games like this is the atmosphere they can create with a decent soundtrack (for instance, one of the things that I find consistently drawing me back toward Knytt Stories is the music). Anyway, my point is that if there is an option to put in background music of some sort, I would recommend doing so.

Edit: I've just realized how tired I actually am, so I'm afraid my little commentary will have to wait until tomorrow. G'night, everypony!

I was going to wait until the near end completion of the game to do that. I need to add music to each individual area, should only take like 10 minutes to add music to every thing.

Well, Sobana, I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to this, but here's my commentary on Maidens of Twilight.

Not much to comment on during the section you released the first time, so I'll just skip ahead to the Gem Ore fetch quest.

1. I lol'd at the Giggle at the Ghostie reference. (Though I do have a few suggestions on how to make it a little less awkward.

2. During the Everfree Forest section, I recommend either:
a) Add a bit more variety to the monster types
b) Increase the monster levels a bit
c) Decrease the frequency of random encounters
d) Decrease the mane 6's power levels
The one thing that kills most otherwise decent RPGs is too much dull redundancy--constantly fighting small groups of weak enemies tends to induce boredom and/or annoyance, and can be extremely frustrating, especially using a random encounter system.

3. Nice choice of character model for the G&PT, feels very much like her.

4. The little boy's reaction to the crystal being "turned on in reverse" (How does one even do that?) made me lol.

5. So the crystal that we just went into the Everfree Forest to get materials for just explodes for no apparent reason? Hmm . . . I'm starting to suspect Pinkie Pie may have something to do with this . . .

6. Darnit, Rainbow Dash! Stop pointing out the plot holes! That's what I'm supposed to be doing!

7. Well, as the old saying goes, every RPG quest starts in a tavern . . .

8. Something about Twilight saying "I don't think any of us have ever been outside the town before" seems . . . somehow inaccurate.

9. Mostly just a style choice, depending on what type of gameplay experience you're going for, but it might be wise to auto-heal characters when they level, so they don't wind up missing half of their health bar just because they've been leveling up but haven't gone back to an inn in a while.

10. Another style choice, but I've often found that--at least in RPGs where the character starts out at their own house--the party can rest at the main character's house for free. I've often found this incredibly helpful early on, when you may not be able to afford an inn (Not really a problem in this case, but thought I should mention it anyway).

11. This game is FAR too easy. The number one issue I have with this game is that the battles feel completely trivial. There is almost no challenge because Twilight and company are SERIOUSLY overpowered. No character should be able to one-hit-kill an enemy at level 5, and Twilight's magic shouldn't be able to sap all of the challenge out of a fight that easily. Please, Sobana, for the love of all that is Pony, reduce the characters' combat strength!

12. During the first conversation with the mining foreman, one character says "At least give us a chance!" The character portrait is that of the Great and Powerful Trixie. I presume this is an error, given that Trixie isn't even in the village (as far as we know).

13. Don't worry, Fluttershy, the explosives aren't dangerous. Until they explode, at least. Twice.

14. Don't worry, Fluttershy. The explosives barely do anything at all. Seriously, explosions should at least make a noticeable dent in a character's health bar. These seem more like party poppers than excavation materials.

15. BUG: if you find the trapped miner in the north room and kick the rock away, then leave the room without talking to him, and then go back into the room, the rock is back in place in front of him and you can't kick it away again.

Unfortunately, due to my having reached a dead end due to the bug described above, I will have to continue my commentary when I get back to that point. The point at which I last saved was about three or four levels ago, so I probably won't make it back there until tomorrow. So, ta-ta for now.

Nevermind, it didn't actually take very long to get back up to speed. The commentary will now continue.

Hm. Just finished the rest of the demo. The ruins are a bit trickier than the previous stages, so my previous gripe about the difficulty is now more or less a moot point. However, I still think you may want to reduce the frequency of random encounters in the 5-switch-puzzle area of the ruins. Running back and forth to check door positions got pretty touch-and-go.

As for the ending, I don't really have much to say. I am certainly quite eager to see the next chapter of this game. If you're planning on selling it, I'd like to offer to proofread and beta test it in exchange for a free copy.

***COMMENTARY IS FINISHED***

2) I planned to have the forest open up more in later chapters reveling more familiar monsters like the cockatrice and chimera.

5) I thought it would be a funny way to depose of the crystal.

8) Yeah, I couldn't figure out a better way to explain it.

9) I'm still trying to work that out.

10) Good idea, I'll have to work that in.

11) Add more monster! No, less monsters! More monsters! Who's dress is this!? ...More monsters it is.

14) I didn't want them to do to much damage because you have to go threw a few of them. Also, some weird glitch if you health reaches 0 on the main screen you enter battles with 0 health and can never die, so I decided to remove all damage.

12) Yeah, that was an editor problem, it was suppose to be RD.

15) I was worried that might come up but hoped no one would find it. I just have to change where the rock lands because the object location resets when you re-enter an area and I don't want people going threw that dialog again if no miner is there. some tweaking is required.

All data on my computer got erased now I'm trying to recover a non-encrypted version of the game to continue working on it.


I posted a screen shot on the first post a while ago.

11. I don't think you need to add more monsters to increase the diffuculty--just tweak the damage ratios a bit so either the enemies do more damage, or Twi & co. do less damage. At least in the early stages. The ruined temple was a decent challenge (though you may want to make the dungeons a bit larger). I just meant that the difficulty curve starts off pretty tame, and can make the game feel a bit dull.

14. Ah, I see. That makes sense.


Oh noes! I hope you didn't lose anything else important!

I' recovering as best I can. As for making them less strong sure, I can do that. I'll also decrease in the encounter rate by 50%. My next ruined temple will have a more complex puzzle system that will require a player to travel between rooms making it (hopefully) feel more fleshed out as it were.