I saw a Stargate fic that was something like this over on ff.net and got to thinking what it would be like if the 'bots had a paging/e-mail system. Comm/crit much appreciated

Communiqué

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Reminder
The Secretary of Defence is scheduled to meet us in the conference room at 1900 hours. Please have the reports ready for presentation.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Reminder
Got it
P.S- for the last time, do something with your addy before I do! It’s soooooo boring!

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Reminder
It is perfectly functional as it is. Leave it alone.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Reminder
That a threat?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Reminder
Yes.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Reminder
Okies

0o00o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Fair Warning
Blades is here. If you want to keep him, please remove him. Air Raid has a mace.

From: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: Re Fair Warning
Copy that. ETA two minutes

0o0o0

From: anonymous
To: All addresses
Subject: Red alert’s going hunting!
Contraband raid @ 2pm!!!!! Hide!!!!

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding kaboom@tran_net
Subject: Priority alert
Wheeljack has nitroglycerine. Projected blast radius- second, third and fourth decks, starboard side.

0o0o0

From: Perceptor (perceptor@tran_net)
To: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
Subject: Cat
Remove it.

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: Perceptor (perceptor@tran_net)
Subject: Re Cat
Okay I’m on my way now I’ve just got to finish inventory in the armoury ‘cause Ironhide told me to get it done before whoever it is arrives from the government but I really don’t get why the inventory has to be finished before then it’s not like he’s going to be looking through here anyway at least I think it’s a he the person that’s coming anyway I’ll
-message capacity exceeded-

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: or else
I’m gonna pop the question to Carly tonight. One word and I’ll make sure neither of you show your faces for a month.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re or else
Oh yeah?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re or else
Yeah

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re or else
Oh yeah?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re or else
One word- Bambi

0o0o0

From: Red alert (redalert@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Security Breach
Someone has hacked into my personal files and transmitted data to every single occupant of the Ark! I demand greater security measures! If anyone can just waltz on in and access my personal data, then just imagine what else could be stolen and sent to the Decepticons! It’s intolerable! How I am expected to do my job when not even basic security is attend
-message capacity exceeded-

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Red alert (redalert@tran_net)
Subject: Re Security Breach
I will look into it immediately

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Warning
Please refrain from hacking into Red alert’s personal files, or at least don’t leave any traces behind. It upsets him.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Warning
Ok. Next time he won’t notice a thing

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: ?
You got it?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Yup. Let’s do this.

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Coming?
Local ranger gave me the go-ahead, you still want to come?

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Re Coming?
Do you have to ask?

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: I need a favour
You got any nitro left? I need to scare someone.

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re I need a favour
…are they red and yellow?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re I need a favour
Yup

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re I need a favour
Be right there.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Run


Communiqué 2

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Question
Have you been able to locate the twins yet?

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Question
Yup, three minutes ago. They’d bunkered down over in the pines. Not the happiest of mechs either.

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Question
Any idea what happened to them?

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Question
Well, as far as I’ve heard, it involved Ratchet, nitro, rope and that cornflour slime stuff

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Question
Ah. Shall I meet you back in the Common room for drinks after shift? Smokescreen said that he had a new proposition to discuss.

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Question
I’ll be there

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Subject: Got em!
I am now the proud possessor of no less than two tickets to the U2 concert next week. You interested?

From: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Got em!
‘You interested’? You’re kidding, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Got em!
Had to ask

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Direct order
My office. Immediately.

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Quick question
I know it’s most of your team’s day off, but can we borrow Blades and Groove? Bluestreak’s stuck in a tree.

From: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Re Quick question
…How on earth did he get stuck in a tree?

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Quick question
I have no idea

From: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Quick question
They’re on their way, ETA six minutes

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Quick question
Thanks

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Please
Please tell me you didn’t

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Please
* smirk * I did

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Please
You are going to be the death of me someday.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Please
All the more reason to take some of the leave you’ve got backed up, isn’t it? ; )

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Official announcement
Carly and I are now officially engaged to be married!

0o0o0

From: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
To: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: Did you see?
That meteor shower last night was like, dude, y’know?

From: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
To: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Did you see?
Totally dude, totally. Like, totally wow, dude.

From: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
To: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Did you see?
Word.

0o0o0

From: Fireflight (deadaces@tran_net)
To: Slingshot: (flierace@tran_net)
Subject: question
You heard about Spike and Carly, right?

From: Slingshot (flierace@tran_net)
To: Fireflight (deadaces@tran_net)
Subject: Re question
Yeah, why?

From: Fireflight (deadaces@tran_net)
To: Slingshot: (flierace@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re question
What does he mean by ‘engaged’? Is it as in ‘I’ve engaged the enemy’?

From: Slingshot (flierace@tran_net)
To: Fireflight (deadaces@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re question
Fragged if I know. Let’s ask Jazz

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding hatchetsapprentice@tran_net
Subject: Priority warning
First Aid and Swoop are being tested today. Come near the Repair Bay and I’ll rip out your pistons.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: What do you think?
Well, the new data has come in from the stockmarket and companies. I’ve forwarded it to your personal computer. Any thoughts?

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re What do you think?
It appears to be too good to be true for my tastes. I suggest that we pull out of Enron quickly.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re What do you think?
I thought so too. I’ll pass the word on to the others.

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding hatchetsapprentice@tran_net
Subject: Re- Repair Bay
All clear.

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
Subject:
You pass?

From: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Ratchet say me pass with ‘flying colours’

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
That good?

From: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re
Ratchet say it very good. Me Field Medic grade 6 now.

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re
Good. You come to Common room. Us Dinobots party!

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Well?
Did you pass?

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Well?
Didja pass?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Well?
*pokes * Pass?

From: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: C’mon man
Tell us already, didja pass?

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: ..well
I’m afraid that I…..…….PASSED, 100%! First Aid, Field Medic Grade One!

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: Re…well
FANTASTIC! Everyone down to the Common room, celebration time!

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: Re…well
Actually, let’s move it to the Rec room.

From: Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re …well
Good idea

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: question
The twins still alive and kicking? ‘Cause I ain’t heard anything for a while.

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re question
I just checked on them. Yes, they are alive, no, they are not kicking. I’m surprised the rafters and cables have supported them for so long.

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re question
You do know that Ratchet will kill you if you gotta drag those two into Repair after this

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re question
Unlikely. This was his idea to begin with. I believe he called it ‘*** for tat’

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re question
Heh, you’re a braver mech than I am.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Well?
Figured a way out of this yet?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Well?
Yeah. Just gimme a minute to get my knife…fragging Pit-fire!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Well?
You dropped it.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Well?
…I think I noticed that, Sideswipe.

Fin

*picks self up off floor, still laughing*

Shades, the way you nail the G1 personalities with such humour but such respect and affection for canon is mind-boggling in its brilliance.

Seconded!

But the real problem is I'm already thinking of a half dozen not really as funny versions that if published would devalue the original work.

Only way to stop me would be for you to write some more

Actually I want to see the size of the zippos Jazz and Blaster would hold aloft during the acoustic version of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For".

Read it three times now.

Contraband raid!

Friggin' hilarious, Shades.

Have you got addy's for all of them, or just the ones you had story for (and no don't show us any of the others and spoil comedic value for future versions)

Thanks everyone *grin*
@ Falcadore- I tend to make 'em up as I encounter them, but I can tell you with some certainty that a Communique 3 is in the works at the moment

Communiqué 3

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: Here, now!
Get your team over here for check ups. Now. I don’t have time to chase up a bunch of new-builts ‘cause they’re scared of a few scans.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re Here, now!
I’ll do my best. Be there in fifteen minutes.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: ?
So, Plan A, Plan E, or Plan F?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Plan A. We might as well be alphabetical.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
A it is then.
Muhahaha! Revenge shall be sweet * evil grin *

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
Indeed. *evil grin *

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Windcharger (hotonthespot@tran_net)
Subject: Hey
You still coming to the game tonight?

From: Windcharger (hotonthespot@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey
Yup. Dragging Bluestreak along too. Did you hear about what Prowl did to the twins this time?

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Windcharger (hotonthespot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey
From what I heard, Ratchet got him to give ‘em a taste of their own medicine. Tied up like mummies and hung by their heels from the rafters in the cargo bays.

From: Windcharger (hotonthespot@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey
Heh, doubt they’ll ever learn. See you at 2030 hours

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
Subject: GET YOUR SCRAWNY AFT DOWN HERE NOW!

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Steeljaw (trackandtrace@tran_net)
Subject: Job offer
Slingshot’s gone AWOL from a medical check up. Ratchet’s set a bounty of eight liters of mid-grade energon on his wings. Interested?

From: Steeljaw (trackandtrace@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject : Re Job offer
Done

0o0o0

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Advice
Just ignore it, they will stop once they get bored.

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Red alert (redalert@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Cease, immediately!
I know who you are and I order you to cease this immediately before I reveal you as the double agents I know that you are! You’ve compromised Ark security for the last time, and I will ensure that you are punished to the full extent of the law. DO YOU HEAR ME!


From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Ha ha
I think we got Red alert upset : p

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Ha ha
Hehehe, I’m just getting started

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Help
Somebody, help! Please! Ghyaaa!

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: AAAAAAH!
MakeitstopMakeitstop MAKE IT STOP!

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Whoever you are
Stop the frag now before I volunteer you to be Swoop’s next practice patient.

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Requesting permission
To shoot the fraggin’ lil’ scraplets on sight.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Requesting permission
Permission gladly granted. Spread the word.

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding cheekydevil@tran_net, handsomedevil@tran_net
Subject: Permission granted
To shoot the slaggers responsible for this on sight.

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding cheekydevil@tran_net, handsomedevil@tran_net
Subject: Working on it
I’m tracing them now.

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…


From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes…

From: Anon
To: All addresses
-autorepeat set-
Subject: I know (audio file attached)
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on –message interrupted-

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: OH SLAG! RUN!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding cheekydevil@tran_net, handsomedevil@tran_net
Subject: KILL!
KILL! Killkillkillkillkillkillkillkill!

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding cheekydevil@tran_net, handsomedevil@tran_net
Subject: I see ‘em!
They’re headed due south, towards Portland

From: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
To: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: twins
Are headed in your direction, get ‘em!

From: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re twins
Gotcha

From: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re twins
Sorry boss, they lost me at the river

From: Hotspot (lthotspot@tran_net)
To: Groove (gowiththeflow@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re twins
Don’t worry, I’ll contact Blaster

From: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
To: Steeljaw (trackntrace@tran_net)
Subject: Sic’ em!

From: Steeljaw (trackntrace@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Subject: Sic’em!
Gladly

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: All addresses excluding cheekydevil@tran_net, handsomedevil@tran_net
Subject: Return to base
All Autobots, return to base or patrol. We cannot allow the base to be left defenseless because of a childish but very irritating prank. The twins will be forced to return soon and will summarily be dealt with.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
Subject: Oh no you don’t
Get. Your. Winged. Aft. Down. Here. Now. Or else.

From: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re Oh no you don't
...on my way

*snorts and guffaws*

I can't get the song outta my head.

Damn. Where's that 'BRILLIANT!' pic when you need it?

*joins in the slagging of the twins*

Poor Slingshot. I don't like going to the doctor either.

And have I mentioned how much I love Wheeljack's address? Kaboom!

That was soooooooo funny!

Glad you all liked it. And to continue the mayhem, here's number 4. Comm/crit and suggestions for Communique 5 are very welcome.

Note- got about 4 references in this one, kudos and a bag of cookies if you guess them all

Communiqué 4

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Hey Jazz…
Y’know how Spike and Carly are getting married?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey Jazz…
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey Jazz…
You know what it means, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey Jazz…
…no

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…
BATCHELOR PARTY!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…
XD! Jackpot! This is gonna be –sweet-!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…
Oh yeah! Meetcha at 1210 for planning, right?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Jazz…
I’ll be there

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: request
The twins have been caught with illegal contraband again. Would you be able to deal with them this time?

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re request
Sure. You not feeling up to their particular brand o’ insubordination?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re request
No.

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re request
Well, least you can be thankful for one thing when it comes to those little glitches.

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re request
What is that?

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re request
There’s only two of ‘em. Just think of the mayhem if they had a little sister or something for back up

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re request
You ok in there? Thought I heard a bang or a thud or something

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re request
I’m fine

0o0o0

From: Anonymous
To: All addresses
Subject: Heads up!
Flu shots today! Hide!

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
Subject: Q?
Was it 4 or 2 footballs you wanted Blue?

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Q?
Um, better make it 4, ‘cause I promised Spike and Bumblebee that I’d help them with teaching the Dinobots how to play rugby, seeing as Jazz taught us and then the Dinobots heard about it and they wanted to play, and anyway you know how rough the Dinobots get so it’d be good if we have some spares and stuff.

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Q?
Heh, good idea Blue. Pick up at 0800 tomorrow?

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Q?
Thanks ‘Jack!

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject:
Firewall upgrades and viral defence software patches today. Schedule is posted in the common room. Be there on time or else.

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: JAZZ!
STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY FILES OR SO HELP ME I’LL TEACH YOU A NEW DEFINITION TO THE WORD PAIN!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: What did you do?
I just passed Prowl in the hallway. He was muttering something about ‘spit roasted Porsche’. What did you do?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re What did you do?
Who said I did anything? Coulda been someone else

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re What did you do?
You are the only Porsche on the Ark. By process of elimination, he was talking about you.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re What did you do?
Weeeellll, when ya put it that way…I kinda called in a couple of markers and fixed up a lil’ holiday for Prowl. Got in touch with a guy I know in th’ vicinity of the Cook Islands. He owns this resort on one of the smaller islands, and it’s the off season down there, so there’s plenty of room to stash an over-worked 2IC for a week.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re What did you do?
You’ve arranged for Prowl to take an entire –week- off?
Well done Jazz.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re What did you do?
Heh, just doing my duty

0o0o0

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Subject: Hey
You got the movies?

From: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey
Yes, 1 and 2 of The Fast and the Furious, and three of the Dennis the Menace series. No thanks to those insufferable Lamborghinis and their cravings for sly-grog.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey
They got caught again? Sounds like the punishment detail for that song slowed them up some

From: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey
Agreed. One must wonder how Prowl arranged for General Hawk to have those two slated for that ‘Hell Week’ training programme that that Marine ‘Beachhead’ or whatever he was had organised.

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey
Heh, don’t ask me. All I know is that he and the General seem to have some common ground when it comes to trouble makers. Did you see that unit of his?

From: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
To: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey
Yes, quite a motley assortment indeed. Oh, by the way, Jazz is planning a bachelor party for Spike. Meeting in the Common Room at 1210

From: Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
To: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey
Thanks, should be fun

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Was wondering
What’s all this about ‘flu shots’? I’ve heard about it a couple of times now.

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Was wondering
A bad joke that got old years ago.You know how we get those software upgrades and patches to protect against viruses and what not?

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Was wondering
Yeah

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Was wondering
When they heard about it, it was either Spike or Chip who made a joke comparing it to ‘flu shots. The nickname stuck, and the resident trouble makers have made it a point of honour to avoid them for as long as possible. As you can guess, Ratchet just loves that.

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Was wondering
Isn’t that kind of dangerous?

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Was wondering
Yup. Why else do you think they do it?

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Problem
Uh, I just checked the supply lockers, and all the bungy cords we use to tie down stuff are missing.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Problem
...all of them? Dude, you’ve got the world’s supply of bungy cords in there

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Problem
Yup, every last one.

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Problem
I would not be surprised if Sideswipe was somehow involved. I suggest that we spread the word to the other officers and all take extra precautions. He’s up to something.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crap.

I can just imagine the Rube Goldbergian contraption that could be assembled from 'The world's largest collection of bungee cords'.

Solid waste impacting a rotating gas impeller will soon follow.

I've been hunting for those references, Shades, and this one...


...brought a frequently repeated bit of dialogue from Animaniacs to mind:

Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko!
Dot: And I'm CUTE!

Am I anywhere close to right?

@ Nutjob- Yup
@ Newsy- Right quote, but that's a ref I wish I'd thought up! I used to love those guys

Communiqué 5

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Red alert (redalert@tran_net)
Subject: Apologies dude
But no, you can’t kill the red one. We still need ‘im

Besides, Ratchet’s already got dibs

0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Official notice
Carly’s mother is coming to help plan the wedding. She will be staying for a week. Best behavior is mandatory. All miscreants will be turned over to either Ratchet or Grapple without a hearing.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject:
Prowl’s gonna do a room-by-room before Carly’s mom gets here. I’ll hide the prank stuff, you take the booze and contraband. Usual places?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Ok.

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Mom’s coming
Mom’s plane should be landing in an hour, do you have everything ready? I’d better check the guest room just in case. And does Sparkplug know? Oh gosh, I really hope she doesn’t freak out. She didn’t say anything on the phone when I told her, that can’t be a good thing.

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Mom’s coming
Calm down love, I’ve checked and double checked everything and the guest room is cleaner than brig floor after a punishment detail. Don’t panic, she can’t be worse than Nana Caroline

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Mom’s coming
Calm down? I’ve met your granny. You haven’t met my mom.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Hey girl
Heard you had a couple o’ worries about your mother arriving. Don’t you worry about a thing, the Jazz-man is on the case. Diplomacy just happens to be a talent ‘o mine ; ) I’ll be happy t’ help with the planning.

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey girl
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Jazz!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey girl
Heh, no worries lil’ lady, I’m happy t’ lend a hand

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject:
Check and see if those parts are in yet

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
Subject: Mail order
Have the new parts come in yet?

From: Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Mail order
Yes, the boxes are here and are currently being threat-scanned by Red alert. You can come pick them up in about 45 minutes.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Mail order
Thankyou

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Grapple says half an hour, boss

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
Good

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Perceptor (perceptor@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Bluestreak (bluebot@tran_net)
Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Trailbreaker (bignblack@tran_net)
Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Red alert (redalert@tran_net)
Brawn (strongbot@tran_net)
Cliffjumper (redrumbler@tran_net)
Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
Cosmos (auto_ufo@tran_net)
Omega Supreme (omega1@tran_net)
Gears (grumpandgroan@tran_net)
Huffer (huffer@tran_net)
Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
Hoist (hoist@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Skyfire (gentlegiant@tran_net)
Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Inferno (bigred@tran_net)
Windcharger (hotonthespot@tran_net)
Subject: Word of Warning
Heads up ‘bout Carly’s mom. Do not approach under any circumstances, ‘cause this is one scary lady. Like, forget WMD, we could win the war if we air-dropped her inta the ‘cons base.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Word of Warning
Are you serious?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Word of Warning
Dude, I speak no lie.

0o0o0

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Has anyone seen Twostroke?

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Has anyone seen Twostroke?
Kitty sleeping in Dinobot room. You Bluestreak leave her alone, she with us.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: …
…girl, your mother is one scary lady.

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re …
I know, I’m really sorry Jazz

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re …
Don’t be girl, it’s not your fault.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re …
Ok, now –that- was uncalled for. This means war.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
Current score 0:1
Watch this space

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: You were right

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re You were right
Why else do you think I went to a college three states away?

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: ?
I just heard from Jazz that Scary Lady wanted the wedding in that little white chapel off Smith Ave

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Yup

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
But we can’t even fit through the door! Only the cassettes have a chance

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
I think that was her plan.

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?
Ok, Scary Lady’s going down

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
Current score 2:1, thanks to a brilliant play by the Bee-bot
Booyaw!

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Stock markets
Just heard that gold and oil are up in value and share prices in Ford are down three cents. Any thoughts?

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Stock markets
I’ll get in touch with my broker and see what else I can dig up. I’ll get back to you in an hour.

0o0o0

From: Cosmos (auto_ufo@tran_net)
To: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
Subject: Found something
Found some odd looking rocks up here, do you want a sample for when I come down?

From: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
To: Cosmos (auto_ufo@tran_net)
Subject: Re Found something
For sure, man! I can’t wait to see them!

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
Current score 2:2

0o0o0

From: Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: They’re ready
Red alert has cleared the boxes, they’re ready for pick up

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Grapple (grapple@tran_net)
Thanks Grapple, I’ll be there in a minute

0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Subject: Stocks
We’re good on buying up Ford stocks, but the broker advises getting rid of the mining as opposed to the bullion.

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Stocks
Seems logical to me. I’ll get right on it.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
Closing score 4:2 as Scary Lady bows out early on the first day. Take that!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Subject: …dude
I’m in serious chill-withdrawal here dude. Any chance I can snag some Frank Sinatra, U2, Kutless and Switchfoot off you?

From: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re …dude
Whatever tunes you need are yours for the listening pleasure my man. Hail t’ the conquering hero!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Blaster (bebopbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re …dude
Heh, thanks dude.

0o0o0

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: So…
Do we really, absolutely, definitely need your mother at the wedding?

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re So…
Unless you want to hear about it from every female relative on my side of the family for the rest of our natural lives, afraid so.

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re So…
Lesser evil and all that?

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re So…
Yup

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re So…
This is going to be a very long week.

On all three counts, you rock! Now get out of my CD collection.

Scary Lady was the mother of the groom in my best girlfriend's wedding, and I dread my mom turning into Scary Lady when I eventually get married... so yeah, I identify with that. *roots for Autobots against Scary Lady*

Ow, ow, ow. I think I just cracked a rib laughing. Carly's family sounds scarily like mine.

Have you got this posted on ff.net somewhere so I can fav it?

I'm fascinated.

You don't WRITE this fic, you... IMPLY something happened.

And then everyone fills in the blanks.

I also kinda like how you toss in a bit of kruft here and there, like with Cosmos and Beachcomber, to make it look like it really IS just a system dump.

... I'm kinda curious, though, with Jazz' mass-mail.

Who'd he leave OUT?

I've been laughing myself giddy all the way through this. Absolutely spectacular, hilarious work! I love the humdrum day-to-day whatnot that's peppered among the back-and-forths and the "legitimate" communications -- draws the reader into the world.

Any more of these planned, or do they just come along as they please? Because I'm honestly looking forward to the thought of more cache dumps. (Gotta clear off something so Sideswipe can download his bootleg games!)

Four Dinobots, Aerialbots, Protectobots and Cassetibots, presumably leaving team leaders to disseminate. Skids, Powerglide, Warpath, Seaspray, the two Jumpstarters, the three Omnibots, Roadbuster & Whirl dunno why not them though, although since the last seven did not have a cartoon presence, there is one answer.

Oh and Megatron didn't get one.

Ok, mass reply time

@ Newsy- Who, me? And yup, to quote Bumblebee 'Scary Lady's going down' Hehehe

@ The Closet Geek- Yup, it's all getting up there now

@Nut Job- Thanks! It's fun to write too. I missed out the team members, figured that the team leaders could fill their mechs in

@ Tai-Suke- *grins* Thank you. It's sorta planned, sorta off the cuff, write it as it comes. And yup, more mayhem is on the way

@ Falcadore- ...I *knew* I'd forget someone! *facepalm* Thanks for pointing that out

Jazz v Carly's mother sounds so very much like my best man v my mother in law, pre-wedding, that my sides are hurting with laughter.

You think it's funny? I just got visions. It was bad. Help.

Help? Sure - I'll be your Jazz

@ DragonTail

Communiqué 6

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: ?
You’re smiling

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Yup

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
My mother is here and you’re smiling. My mother is –talking- and you’re smiling.

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
Yup

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?
What did you do?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?
Oh, nothing much. You’ll find out soon enough ; )

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
And the competitors roll up for day two. Stay tuned.

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: the kid
Alright, you can borrow First Aid for the day, but I want him back in one piece. It’s fragging hard to find a good assistant these days.

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re the kid
Gotcha.

0o0o0

From: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (flierace@tran_net)
Subject: Hunting season
I’ve got the stuff, you ready?

From: Slingshot (flierace@tran_net)
To: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hunting season
Yeah! Let’s do this!

0o0o0

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: You didn’t
You called in Nana Caroline?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re You didn’t
Ayup. She’s already been briefed on what we want for the wedding and ready to rumble

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re You didn’t
I love you Spike

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Autobots vs Scary Lady.
Current score 1: 0 as the ‘bots side brings a fresh player to the line up, none other than Spike’s very own Nana Caroline!

0o0o0

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: They’re at it again
Slingshot and Air Raid are out here Blades-baiting again. One’s already down and he’s working on the other.

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re They’re at it again
I’ve got half a mind to leave them there. Alright, I’ll bring my other two and we’ll be down there in a minute

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re They’re at it again
Thanks

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: …dude
Watching these two is like…verbal tennis, y’know?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re …dude
Yeah, all we need is a net. Hey, what’s the score now Jazz?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re …dude
Dunno, I’ve lost count. Hey, maybe we should record and relay ‘em as a live broadcast and get Eject and Rewind to play commentator

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re …dude
Ha! That’d be brilliant!

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re …dude
Don’t you dare, mother will kill me when she finds out

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re …dude
Aww, c’mon girl, y’ doing me an injustice here

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re …dude
I know you far too well Jazz

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Steeljaw (trackntrace@tran_net)
Subject: Was wondering
You want in on a trip to Yellowstone?

From: Steeljaw (trackntrace@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Re Was wondering
Yes

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: I’m bored

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re I’m bored
And?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re I’m bored
I’m gonna pester Prowl

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re I’m bored
You’re an idiot

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re I’m bored
I love you too ; P

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: ?
I heard you scored a holiday to the Cook Islands

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
I did.

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
You gonna get some souvenirs?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
Yes

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?
Any for me and Sunny?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re?
Not if you keep bothering me

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?
Well ex-cuse me for caring

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re?
It’s not the caring that concerns me. It’s the interest

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Tehehehe
Watch this

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(autobotprowl@tran_net) changed to (summerholiday@tran_net)

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Tehehehe
XD!

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Tehehehe
O.O! He’s gonna kill you!

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(dajazzman@tran_net) changed to (dajazz-lessman@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Muahahaha
This gives me an idea…

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Muahahaha
Heh, I think it’s given a few people ideas

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(ironhide@tran_net) changed to (grandpa@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(skyking@tran_net) changed to (dramaqueen@tran_net)
(flierace@tran_net) changed to (seekerkill@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(chopperbot@tran_net) changed to (chopperface@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(cmowithahatchet@tran_net) changed to (seniorcrankypants@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
(redalert@tran_net) changed to (sgtspazz@tran_net)

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject:
Children, behave

0o0o0

From: System Administrator (tran@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Notification- Address change
All addresses reset to default

0o0o0

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: -poke-
Hey Jazz, what’s the score?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Re -poke-
um, I lost count. But we are winning. Nana Caroline is like ‘killer granny’ when it comes to this

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Hey
You’ve still got the bungee cords, right?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey
Yup. And ‘jack’s ordered in more for us to ‘borrow’. They’ll be here tomorrow

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey
Perfect

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Hey Prowl
Just had a thought- it’d be a bad thing if the humans got their hands on these message logs, wouldn’t it?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey Prowl
Yes Jazz, it would.

Oh, Prowl, if only you knew...

As entertaining as and dare I say a little more amusing than the preceding, Shades! These just keep getting better.

These are really very cute and funny.

Oh, God, the whole name-change thing had me in stitches.

And Prime's 'Message From God!' post was gold.

SENIOR CRANKY PANTS!

I must say I'm really enjoying the Autobots vs. Crazy Lady. I want me a Nana Caroline...

here's mine:

to Cyberblast Prime (cybs@tran_net)
from Ultra Magnus (UltraMagnus@tran_net)
Subject: Ahem

Okay, Cyberblast, WHERE'S THE MATRIX?!?

to Ultra Magnus (UltraMagnus@tran_net)
from Cyberblast Prime (cybs@tran_net)
Subject: Re Ahem

They're in my locker. a protected one. good luck getting past all of the sharkticons!

That thing rocks.
Require... more... inspired... to do something similar... either different TF gen... or Bionicle...

what, mine?

First some replies...

Radical- Indeed... *grins* Thanks!
Kil- Thanks!
Nutjob- Hehe, I aim to please *bows*
Newsy- Any idea who it was who coined the phrase?
Cybertron- Hehe
esrz22- Your wish is granted

And now the madness...


Communiqué 7

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Tehehe
It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old mech is snoring. He bumped his head and went to bed and couldn’t get up in the morning.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Tehehe
Shut up Sideswipe.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Killer Granny vs Scary Lady
And as the competitors roll up for day three, a lil’ birdy’s telling me that Scary Lady ain’t gonna last long XD

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject:
im crook youre running medical ill be in my office

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re
What caused it boss? You sure you don’t want a check up just to be sure?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
bad run of high grade unless the worlds about to blow up lemme alone!

0o0o0

From: Eject (botonthebleachers@tran_net)
To: Rewind (trivianut@tran_net)
Subject: Score!
Red Sox won! Gimme

From: Rewind (trivianut@tran_net)
To: Eject (botonthebleachers@tran_net)
Subject: Re Score!
Alright, fine. ‘Angels in the Outfield’ is yours.

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Did you hear?
Ratchet’s sick and ‘Aid’s in charge.

We should do something

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Did you hear?
Yes, yes we should…

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Did you hear?
Muahaha…

We really need an evil laugh smiley for this thing

0o0o0

From: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: ?
It’s raining. Do we have to patrol?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Yes. Get going

From: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
But it’s –raining-

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
Either get your wings in the air yourself or I’ll do it for you! With or without the rest of your airframe!

From: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re?
Yes sir

From: AirRaid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (flierace@tran_net)
Subject: Hide the stuff
‘Bolt’s in a real bad mood

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Just was thinking
We need to do somethin’ nice for Nana Caroline for comin’ out here and savin’ our hides like this

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Just was thinking
I’ve got it covered- Devonshire tea and scones at this lovely little café on the edge of town.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Just was thinking
Cool

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Question
What is it with Carly and the lady-like stuff at the moment?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Question
It’s Nana Caroline, she can civilize anyone.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Question
…..

Monster Truck rally on Saturday, we’re taking her there before this becomes permanent.

0o0o0

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Patrol warning
The east track is washed out and Twotop stream is bursting it’s banks, take the alternate route up the ridge

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: HotSpot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Inferno (bigred@tran_net)
Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
Subject: Ready status
All rescue personnel are to assume Alert Status 3 and be prepared for immediate call-out. The rainstorm has already caused two minor slips, more damage may be forthcoming.

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Just before y’ head off…
A couple of things you’ve gotta do:
1- Find a cute wahine, a lei, and get a photo of you with both of them
2- Get a ukulele

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Just before y’ head off…
1- No
2- No

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Just before y’ head off…
Awww, pleeeasee? ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Just before y’ head off…
No.

0o0o0

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Help!
The twins are here in Medical and I can’t get rid of them! Please Hot Spot, I’m at my wit’s end!

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Help!
Don’t worry, big bro’s coming to the rescue

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Just thought you’d want to know
Prowl’s doing a spot check just before he leaves

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Just thought you’d want to know
O.O! Thanks Spot, we owe you one

From: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Help!
There, that ought to keep them busy ; )

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Hot Spot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Help!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Killer Granny vs Scary Lady
And with one last shot it’s all over! Scary Lady has bowed out of th’ battle for good and Killer Granny reigns supreme! Three cheers for Nana Caroline!

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: Well…
Prowl’s off to escape the rain and have fun in the sun for a week. Don’t forget to say goodbye to him

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Hey
Hey Prowl, check your subspace

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey
When I come back I am going to kill you.

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey
Y’ going to the Cook Islands so I figured I might as well make sure you’ll be dressed t’ blend in. Trust me, the head stuff, arm and leg stuff and the loin cloth look much better when you wear ‘em ; )

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey
…I don’t want to know

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: -sigh-
No Prowl for a week...

I’m bored already. Let’s get the bungee cords

Haha. Hot Spot the double agent.

Hooray for Killer Granny! Speaking as one who will bring a "Crazy Lady" of her own with her when she gets married, I repeat, I want me a Nana Caroline.

...And for the life of me I can't place the original reference of Senior Crankypants...

Bored already, Sideswi-- Wait, never mind. It's Sideswipe.

Three cheers for Nana Caroline! I hope I have myself such an ally should I ever find myself in a wedlock situation.

...I'd be more worried about what they were planning to do with those bungee cords if I didn't think it would end in hilarity.


Well, the first place I, myself, ever saw the "Señor/Senior Crankypants" reference was the List of Things Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Bluestreak are No Longer Allowed to Do Aboard the Ark, for which I have woefully lost the link. My Google-fu is weak today or I would've found it by now.

OH SHI-

Woot! Yay more. Yeah, this rocks. Bungee cords away!

First the replies...

@Yes! Andrusi 5- Brothers are great for that sorta stuff

@ newsy891- Girl, you can have her. She's intent on taming all and sundry, even if they don't particularly want to be tamed

@ Radical Good Speed- I think I've got that list somewhere, thanks!

@ Nutjob R/T- Yup.

@ The Shinigami Alchemist: esrz22- Thanks! *grin*

Now the madness... *insert evil laugh smiley*



Communiqué 8

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: All addresses except technochick@tran_net
Subject: WHO TOLD!?

0o0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Security Breach
Because of the breach in protocol regarding Spike and Carly’s wedding, a security hazard in itself, there’s been a significant jump in perimeter breaches by human journalists! Not even to mention the hundreds of communication attempts that I have been warding off since! This is a major, in-progress attack on our security that must be dealt with at once! With Prowl gone we are already at risk, not to mention the severe security risk of having a high ranking officer out on his own in a remote location and without even a hint of a personal guard or any other precaution like that is simply irre -message length exceeded-

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Security Breach
True, this is something that needs to be dealt with before it gets out of hand. Suggestions?

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Security Breach
Easy. We declare we ain’t to be contacted by civilians for a while and the five miles around th’ base are a no-go zone, post warnings, all legally airtight, that anyone found in there is gonna have their vehicles impounded an’ recording equipment confiscated, no responsibility for any damage taken in th’ process.

Then we get th’ Dinobots t’ do the impounding an’ confiscating, in whatever way they see fit.

-That- ‘ill scare ‘em off if nothing else will

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Security Breach
Alright we’ll go for it, it’s better than our current measures and can be stood down easily enough once the matter is over. Jazz, Ironhide, Wheeljack make it happen. Red, see if you can track down this leak.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Heh
I like the way you think

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Heh
Hehehe, I aim to please boss-mech

0o0o0

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Twostroke
Have you seen her anywhere? I’ve been looking for ages and she’s come in at night I know that but I can’t find her anywhere during the day and it’s really starting to worry me and I’d really really really like to have her back again.

From: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
To: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Twostroke
Sorry Blue, I haven’t seen her. Why don’t you try ask Jazz or Smokescreen?

From: Bluestreak (blubot@tran_net)
To: Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Twostroke
Ok, thanks

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Muahaha
First one’s set up

0o0o0

From: Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
To: All addresses
Subject: @!&%#!!
SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: SCORE!
We got Tracks! Ooooh this is just too great! XD!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re SCORE!
Yes! C’mon, let’s get the next ones ready!

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Was wondering
Would you like us to handle transport on the day?

From: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Was wondering
That’d be great Optimus, thank you!

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Was wondering
Our pleasure Spike

0o0o0

From: Red Alert (redalert@tran_net)
To: All Addresses
Subject: Security Warning
Suspicious devices have been discovered in corridors 3A, 2A and 6D. One has been tripped in corridor 5B. All personnel are to proceed with caution and report any further suspicious activity.

0o0o0

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject:
Stockbroker just called me, after that last battle in Maine shares in fisheries are plummeting, we couldn’t give them away if we wanted to.

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Bother.

0o0o0

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Hey Seekerclone!
You, me, basketball court. After duty.

From: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey Seekerclone!
I’ll be there skytrash, prepare to be humiliated.

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey Seekerclone!
You and what army runt?

From: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!
I don’t need an army to vape your sorry tailfins. Oh yeah that’s right, you don’t even
-have- tailfins

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!
You’re gonna be reprocessing those words through your tailpipe after I’m done with you

From: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!
Oh yeah? Prove it whirlybird

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Hey Seekerclone!
I will. Prepare to lose wingling

0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: All Addresses excluding autobotsquishy@tran_net, technochick@tran_net
Subject: Volunteers?
Anyone want to help with the transport to the wedding?

From: Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Volunteers?
I’ll take Spike and Sparkplug!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Volunteers?
Bridesmaids!

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Volunteers?
I call groomsmen

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Volunteers?
Bride!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Volunteers?
Dibs on Carly!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject:
Ha! First come first served!

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Aww, c’mon Sunny, please?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
Nope.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Excuse me but..
..you do realise that taking the bride means you take the mother of the bride too, right? Carly’s father is dead so it will be just the two of them. I trust you can sort this out yourselves.

From: Sunstreaker
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject:
I’ve changed my mind, you can take them

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Nuh uh, like you said Sunny-boy, first come first served

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
It’s alright, you take them, you wanted to

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re
My friend, I’d sooner make a single-mech attack on th’ ‘Con base wearing a pink Energizer Bunny suit an’ singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star than have Scary Lady that close to me again.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject:
Not. One. Slagging. Word.

0o0o0

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Slag (slag@tran_net)
Subject: cat
You Slag give cat back to him Bluestreak now

From: Slag (slag@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject: Re cat
But me Slag like cat

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Slag (slag@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re cat
Her cat not your cat. Give back

From: Slag (slag@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re cat
Ok

0o0o0

From: Perceptor (perceptor@tran_net)
To: All Addresses
Subject: Help!
If someone could help me down I would be most grateful. It appears some of the missing bungy cords have turned up.

0o0o0

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Incoming
Just spotted Blades and Air Raid. ETA five minutes after they’ve stopped pummeling each other

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Incoming
Thanks for the warning ‘jack.

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: le sigh
I’m adopted, aren’t I? Please tell me I’m adopted.

From: Hotspot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re le sigh
Yes First Aid, you’re adopted.

0o0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Idea
Catapults.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Idea
Catapults?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Idea
-nod- Catapults. Or slingshots. Depending on what ammo we beg/borrow/steal/kidnap

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Idea
Ok

0o0o0

From: Anon1
To: Anon2
Subject:
Have they figured out who was the leak yet?

From: Anon2
To: Anon1
Subject: Re
Nope. Keep listening.

0o0o0

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Update
[ Attachment: SituationReport.doc ]
Have fun

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Update
[ Attachment received ]
Thank you

0o0o0

From: Hoist (hoist@tran_net)
To: All Addresses
Subject:?
Has anyone seen my spare paint cans?

This shall not end well.

Yay more!

Slag with a kitty. AWWWWWWWWWW.

And... 'Streaker gets what's coming to him. I wanna see who he's gonna paintball first.

Every time, in every way, this is frelling gold.

This is the one that made me lose it. Thank you.

'Cause you know Grimlock would misinterpret the word "impound."

As in 'I'm pounding you into a pile of scrap!'.

And slag with a kitty is just an adorable image. I may have to draw.

Nutjob R/T: Heheh, yup. And have great fun doing it too

Cybersnark: Hehehe, I think that was Jazz's plan

DragonTail: *bows* Thank you most kindly

Newsy: *grin* Ask and you shall receive

GC Rust: Nope. *evil laugh*

Communiqué 9

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: Stag Night!
T’night’s the night! Meet at the main entrance at 9pm!

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject:
Go check the storeroom for more 14 gage

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Already checked, we’re fresh out. I’ve already added it to the requisition list

0o0o0o0

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Tonight
Make sure nobody kills anyone, ok?

From: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Re Tonight
You sure? Could be a way of getting rid of a couple of th’ more troublesome ones

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Tonight
Tempting, but no. We still need them.

Besides, Ratchet already has staked a claim on the twins.

0o0o0o0

From: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
To: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Subject: Good news
Your gamble paid off, stocks in iron mining have risen by 78 cents

From: Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
To: Mirage (foxtrot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Good news
I told you so

0o0o0o0

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: ?
Hey Sunny, you know how Prowl’s coming back today, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re ?
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re ?
And you know how humans go to places like that and come back with a tan, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re ?
Yeah?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re ?
And you know how we don’t tan, right?

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re ?
What the hell are you getting at Sides?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re ?
Weeeellll…seeing how we’ve still got all these bungy cords and all this lovely paint, I was thinking we could give Prowl a bit of a hand with his tan.

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Re ?
……

* evil grin *

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: HotSpot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
Subject: Medical checkups
Get them in here. Now.

From: HotSpot (tlhotspot@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re Medical checkups
Yes sir

0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Hey lil’ lady
Was just getting t’ wondering if there was anything a classy gal like you wanted in particular for your Hen’s Night?

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey lil’ lady
Nothing I can think of right now…

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Hey lil’ lady
Ok, you start thinkin’ an’ I’ll get back t’ ya tomorrow

From: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Hey lil’ lady
Before or after you get over the hangover? ; )

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Carly (technochick@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Re Hey lil’ lady
Heh, the Jazz-man don’t get hangovers : P

0o0o0

From: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
To: Hoist (hoist@tran_net)
Subject: Can I ask you something?
Like…what in the stars are you supposed to give as a wedding present?

From: Hoist (hoist@tran_net)
To: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Can I ask you something?
I’m not actually sure…hm…try ask Jazz, he might know

From: Beachcomber (rocksbot@tran_net)
To: Hoist (hoist@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Can I ask you something?
Ok, thanks man

0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject:
Get your friggin’ brothers in here for their medical exam!

From: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re
But boss, if they don’t listen to you why on earth would they listen to me?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: First Aid (hatchetsapprentice@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
Hrm…good point

0o0o0o0

From: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject:
What you getting Spike and Carly for wedding present?

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
Subject: Re
Hrr…me Grimlock do not know. What you Swoop getting them?

From: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
To: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
Me Swoop don’t know. Maybe me Swoop will give them some wings us Dinobots took from them Seekers. Him Spike always say he liked them.

From: Grimlock (megrimlock@tran_net)
To: Swoop (swoop@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re
That good idea.

0o0o0o0

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
Skydive
Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Fireflight (wingnut@tran_net)
Subject: Alright
What are we getting Spike and Carly as a wedding present?

From: Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
Skydive (furball@tran_net)
Fireflight (wingnut@tran_net)
Subject: Re Alright
Do we have to?

From: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
To: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
Skydive (furball@tran_net)
Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Fireflight (wingnut@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Alright
Yes. And it can’t be anything out of those magazines that –somebody- borrowed from the twins.

From: Slingshot (seekerhunter@tran_net)
To: Silverbolt (tlsilverbolt@tran_net)
Skydive (furball@tran_net)
Air Raid (skyking@tran_net)
Fireflight (wingnut@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re Re Alright
That wasn’t me!

0o0o0o0

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject:
[Attachment: Catchingthelittlefraggers.doc]

From: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
To: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Subject: Re
[Attachment received]

You sure this will work?

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Subject: Re Re
When one is serving bait, presentation is everything. * evil grin *

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Hey dude!
Welcome back from the vacay! As you can see, everythin’s still standing ^__^ Didja have fun? Get any pictures? Find a cute vahine? Was she the one who conned you into getting the tattoo?

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
Subject: Re Hey dude!
No comment.

0o0o0

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Ready?

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re Ready?
Yup. Just say the word

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: Fire!

From: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
To: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Subject: BULLSEYE!

From: Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
To: Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Subject: Re BULLSEYE!
ROTFLMAO!!!!

0o0o0o0

From: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
To: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
Subject: Apologies
I’m going to be late. I have to kill someone.

From: Optimus Prime (optimus@tran_net)
To: Prowl (autobotprowl@tran_net)
Subject: Re Apologies
Have fun.

0o0o0o0

From: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
To: Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
Subject: Huh?
Are you sure this is the right place?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Subject: Re Huh?
Yeah, it should be

From: Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
Subject: Are you going to come quietly or do I have to use earplugs?

From: Streetwise (trekkerbot@tran_net)
To: Blades (chopperbot@tran_net)
Subject: AMBUSH!!!!!!
RUN AWAY!!!!!

0o0o0o0

From: Jazz (dajazzman@tran_net)
To: Spike (autobotsquishy@tran_net)
Sunstreaker (handsomedevil@tran_net)
Sideswipe (cheekydevil@tran_net)
Smokescreen (bettingbot@tran_net)
Ratchet (cmowithahatchet@tran_net)
Wheeljack (kaboom@tran_net)
Ironhide (ironhide@tran_net)
Tracks (killercorvette@tran_net)
Hound (lonegreenranger@tran_net)
Bumblebee (buzzybee@tran_net)
Subject: It’s time!
Ok boys, let’s roll out!

0o0o0o0

Administrator: Internal system log
Subject: Incoming phone call
Action: routed to private line- recipient Carly
Transcript: Begin recording at 0354 hours

“…who is it?”
”Uh, hey love, it’s Spike.”
“…hey…”
“Look, um, could you do me a favour and get in touch with Prime for me?”
“..why? And where are you calling from anyway?”
(indistinct)
“What was that?”
“….the police station.”
“……what?”
(pause)
“…so yeah, if you could call Prime and…”
“Who else is there?”
“Um…me, a few guys from the rig, some of the bots…”
“And why are you there?”
“Um…disturbing the peace, I think, and some other stuff…”
“Spike, don’t even think that this is over. As soon as Prime’s done chewing you out you and me are going to have a very long talk.”
“….yes dear.”

Transcript ended at 0401 hours.

You know it's a good bachelor party when it ends at the lockup.

Was there a rubber chicken involved?

You know what I love about this?

THIS is the Transformers as I remember them.

Well-oiled war machine? Noooo.

Giant clanking frat boys.

Freeform RP chat room on wheels.

And so forth.

Bad Sideswipe!! *pelts him with an open can of blue paint* .......I wonder how Prowl is gonna kill them? Shooting or beating into submission?

...Gotta love how nobody knows what to give as wedding presents... xD Smokescreen and Mirage's talk was so random again, in the middle of all that.... oh, and Ratchet sure is having problems with the Protectobots. xD!xD!xD! ....I think Wheeljack needs to blow them up a couple of times before they understand what's best for them.... ^^;;