*is wearing a surgeon's outfit* alright guys, we have been brought the body of a man. it is our mission to rebuild him into the ultimate weapon of beast mayhem.....so, what should we include in the reconstruction of this man, also, he needs a name......

Apostrophe.

Well, that sure was easy.

Horatio. And we already built him.

IN THE FUTURE.

I plan to live in the future one day.

The future is in the future.

But that future is NOW!!! AAaaaaaaaaaaaaand it's no longer in the present, it's in the past. Yikes. Time moves so fast.

But what about THAT future? QUICK! It's here now! GRABITBEFOREITSTOOLA.... Aw geeze missed it again.

I'm sure ONE future will see this happen.

which one of you mother huggers was in my parts shed?! i was saveing that jawbone!

It was sampson i swear *runs after attaching it to the body*

I have 12 ranks in Craft (Unholy Abominations).

why not just make a whole new one instead of working from hand me down parts?

Because we don't feel like waiting nine months.

* tackles 8-track and stabs him repeditly with the broken end of a femur* THESE ARE MINE DAMN IT, GO BOTHER SAN!

i say we give him a sockpuppet for an arm that shoots out herring

Does that cover Big Daddies? Because I really want to build one after playing Bioshock.

*To quote Winston in "Ghostbusters"* You got the tools, you got talent.

Give that to Stan Bush and his smiling guitarist.

You got the TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got the taleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent....

::walks in and notices body on gurney::

Wait, if I'm on that gurney then...

::hideously morphs into Speedbreaker::

It's like you seriously fail to comprehend Speedy's greatness, hence why he's just an amusing plaything to you.

*slowmotion* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

(in other news, i have replaced his heart with that of a rabid badger's)

ah jazz

my hand handle hammer good, love you jazz make happy, hope

::is strapped to gurney::

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!

*removes animated jazz* there is work to be done

*gives the corpse the jaws of a hippo and the leg of a beautiful women with a high heel*

You killed Stacy Keibler, didn't you?

And besides, I thought the corpse was mine from when I died eating a jiveton of bacon in tec's bar.

no, you thought the corpse was yours

*gives body a leaf blower for his other arm and gives him a monacle*

*swaps out the male organ for a pump-action shotgun*

Because I lack any sense of subtly.

i like it

No, those would be under Craft (What Has Science Done).

Well sometimes the lines get blurred if science does something particularly nasty.

When in doubt, try to bulljive your way through it and hope the DM is feeling charitable.

usually im not.

I'll give players credit for creativity, but that won't stop me from making the checks and penalties they have to overcome a bit excessive.