I sat down and watched "Godzilla vs. Megaguirus" today so I could write my review. I have about 13 reviews saved up so far, but I'm gonna wait until I hit 20 before making the site.
Anyhow, I am ashamed for ever having liked this movie. I honestly can't say why I ever thought it was even remotely good. I'm definately going to have to rethink my opinions on a lot of the Millenium series, as I've only seen most of those movies just once or twice.
But yikes, that was
terrible.
Anyhow, here's my review:
QUOTE
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)
Featured Kaiju:
Godzilla, Meganulon/Meganula/Megaguirus
Items of Note:
*The Meganulons last appeared in “Rodan”.
*All films in the Milleunium series are isolated from one another. As such, they are allowed to cherry-pick whichever previous Godzilla films they wish to include in their continuity. This film features references to “Godzilla (1954)”.
Review:
When I first watched “Godzilla vs. Megaguirus”, I actually enjoyed it. Watching it again for the first time since, I have to wonder what the Hell I was on.
“Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” seemed to be universally panned by most Godzilla enthusiasts, and yet when I first watched it, I thought they were all crazy and incapable of appreciating its finer points. I must have been half-asleep, half-drunk, half-stoned, half-dead or half-something in order to think that. As I found out this afternoon, my previous affections toward the movie were completely misplaced: “Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” is just as bad as everyone says it is.
After Godzilla’s (Tsutomu Kitagawa) initial raid in 1954, the people of Japan were left stumped as to what the Big G was so pissed off about. In 1966, after his second attack, the answer dawned on them: nuclear power. As a result, Japan outlawed all nuclear energy and instead chose to focus on the creation of clean energy, eventually leading to the creation of plasma energy.
Then in 1996, Godzilla attacked and ruined that, too.
Frustrated, the Japanese government created the G-Graspers: a poorly-named special ops team determined to destroy Godzilla once and for all. Major Kiriko Tsujimori (Misato Tanaka), a no-nonsense soldier with a vendetta against Godzilla, recruits the help of Hajime Kudo (Shosuke Tanihara), a youthful scientist who specializes in miniaturization. Their plan is to create a machine called Dimension Tide, which can create miniature black holes capable of destroying even Godzilla. Unfortunately, during their initial test, they fail to notice a gigantic dragonfly escape through a wormhole (a rip in time and space). The monster promptly lays an egg before returning to the past, thus leading to swarms of giant prehistoric bugs called Meganulons. Those evolve into Meganulas which eventually lead to the birth of the colossal Megaguirus. As Godzilla and Megaguirus battle one another, the G-Graspers battle various technical difficulties keeping the Dimension Tide from operating properly.
Oh the suspense.
“Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” is a film bogged down by a number of problems in everything from the story to the special effects. Outside of perhaps wardrobe, you’d be hard-pressed to find a department that didn’t screw something up. But even that has its problems, what with some characters being dressed like 1987 never ended (check out the dude with the walkman that gets eaten by a Meganulon while waiting for his girlfriend to get him a beer).
From my point of view, the primary problem lies in the vision of Director Masaaki Tezuka. It’s pretty clear that he wanted to make a cartoon, but decided to settle on a Godzilla film instead. The entire movie is littered with the worst elements of Japanese animation you can imagine, all of which he attempts to realize in a live action environment. And let me put it to you straight: that just doesn’t work.
If you don’t believe me, look no further than the showdown between Godzilla and Megaguirus. Megaguirus displays various heavily animated moves which attempt to make him appear “blurry with speed”. However, when he’s a puppet that’s being dangled on a string, no amount of digital smudging is going to make him look like he’s moving at super-speed. The worst offense I noticed had to be at about the halfway point of the fight. The camera remains at a static long distance shot as Godzilla and Megaguirus stare one-another down. The two then charge and clash in midair, complete with a “ching!” sound effect and various energy zaps. Both kaiju then stop and stand completely still until one of them reveals their injury.
That right there is the most textbook anime cliché imaginable outside of “characters falling over on their face when surprised” or “everyone morphs into big-headed midgets when they’re angry”. Seeing it brought to life in a Godzilla movie is enough to send the vomit surging up from my stomach. Director Tezuka’s obsession with anime trends doesn’t end there, either. You also have to suffer through Kudo’s computer virus detection program, featuring a “chibi” anime nurse girl flying in a jetpack and shooting lasers at black sludge in a VR environment. It’s remarkable in that it looks even stupider than it sounds.
Tezuka’s ill-conceived attempts at live-action anime aside, the problems with “Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” go on for miles. The characters are all pretty 2-dimensional. The main character, the elephant-eared Kiriko, is by far the worst, though. Her whole deal is that she became emotionally distant and outwardly cold to everybody after her commanding officer was killed by Godzilla in 1996. She “develops” as a character, gradually becoming warmer and more caring as the film progresses (due mostly to affectionate interaction with Kudo). There’s a loathsome trend in Japanese animation these days called “tsundere”, I believe, which features female characters exactly like Kiriko. Granted, the “cold on the outside/warm on the inside” template has existed in fiction for time immemorial, but considering all of Tezuka’s other anime-inspired effects, it’s pretty obvious what he was trying to do with Kiriko.
And now for the special effects.
The film opens with clips of “Godzilla (1954)”, albeit with the new Godzilla suit digitally imposed over the original and some classic scenes completely re-shot (such as Godzilla chewing on the train). It’s an interesting effect, to say the least, and probably one of the film’s more novel approaches. The new Godzilla suit features the elongated snout that the Big G sports throughout the Millenium series, which I love, as well as an overall more lizard-like appearance. My only complaint with Godzilla’s appearance in this film are his back plates/fins/spikes (whatever you want to call them), which are exaggerated to humorous proportions. They’re also colored quite strangely, a reddish/purplish/pinkish tone. The extra splash of color might not have been so awkward had the plates been smaller.
Megaguirus looks fantastic; very nasty and ugly and creepy and “holy jive gonna eat your babies”. Unfortunately, no matter how good a model looks, if it can’t be brought to life properly it means absolutely nothing. When Megaguirus makes his grand entrance in Tokyo, the wires holding him up are visible. And by “visible”, I mean they are completely obvious. Every. Single. One. As he flies across the city, you can see every wire as clear as day. You’d think that when the film cuts and shifts to a different angle that they might go away. You’d be wrong. The wires are still there and you can hear them laughing at you (or maybe that’s everybody else in the room, laughing at how terrible the effects are).
It is truly, truly pathetic.
“Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” also features a great deal of CGI, from the swarms of Meganulas to Godzilla’s swimming. The CG in this movie is on par with maybe an early Playstation 2 game. Maybe. The swarms of Meganulas don’t look too bad, but the scene in which Godzilla is swimming underwater while being struck with missiles couldn’t look any worse. The effects used on the Dimension Tide are equally unfinished in appearance, with only the swirling vortex in the clouds looking even remotely “cool”.
All in all, “Godzilla vs. Megaguirus” is just a train wreck in every department. I can’t fathom what made me like it the first time around, but I’m ashamed of myself for ever having defended it in the past. Outside of “Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla”, it really is the worst of the Millenium series.
Grade: F (as in “For the love of God, this is why otakus shouldn’t be allowed to make movies!”)
However they are packing in a new Godzilla documentary that sounds pretty interesting(they had to get the G-man in there somehow to move units I'd bet 
)
