 So freakin' tired of the Holiday season right now. |
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 Dec 17 2011, 12:50 AM
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#1
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 You know it's true Group: Forum Moderator Posts: 9,382 Joined: 27-January 02 From: Quebec City, PQ, Canada Member No.: 533 Faction: RIBFIR  |
Don't want to be a Scrooge, but I've just about have had enough of this holiday season
Of course having the Mall Santa set up his office right in front of my store is perhaps increasing my annoyance at this time of year. Therefore, to lift my spirits, I need suggestions as to how I should dispatch this red target that sits all day, and I need them before next week, when he finally leaves. The more creative the better. Suggest away. This post has been edited by Devcon: Dec 17 2011, 12:51 AM -------------------- |
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Dec 17 2011, 01:10 AM
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#2
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 D-69 Even on Krypton Group: Citizen Posts: 19,846 Joined: 17-January 03 From: Ontario Canada Member No.: 1,958 Faction: Decepticon |
it would need to be something that would only bother him... you don't want to ruin some kid's childhood, so fish guts under his chair is out. ..hmm
unless you are THAT tired of it? >:) --------------------  |
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Dec 17 2011, 01:16 AM
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#3
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 Myastur Mispellur Group: Citizen Posts: 12,143 Joined: 12-January 02 From: TF Count 900+ Member No.: 246 Faction: Free Agent |
Buy alot of thoses cheep doller store laser pointers and mount thing togather and randomly point thim at him like you hired a fireing squad
-------------------- Currently out of touch with reality watching tons of anime
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Dec 17 2011, 01:25 AM
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#4
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D-69 Even on Krypton Group: Citizen Posts: 19,846 Joined: 17-January 03 From: Ontario Canada Member No.: 1,958 Faction: Decepticon |
oooh I like that idea.
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Dec 17 2011, 02:43 AM
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#5
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 Local Dinosaur Enthusiast Group: Citizen Posts: 6,454 Joined: 24-October 07 From: Dinotopia Member No.: 10,981 Faction: Autobot |
-------------------- QUOTE I’m participating in a DnD-style game about magical ponies with a paleontologist character, I am a super nerdy nerdface. |
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Dec 17 2011, 03:10 AM
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#6
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 Time is on my Side. Group: Citizen Posts: 18,285 Joined: 24-August 02 Member No.: 1,385 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
Give him all the Mudflaps and Tuner Mudflaps.
Have him attempt to give them out to kids. Kids weep. Why you make them weep, Santa? These are horrible toys. -------------------- |
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Dec 17 2011, 06:12 AM
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#7
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 Tyrants and cowards, for metal you will kneel Group: Citizen Posts: 13,741 Joined: 25-January 04 From: South of Heaven, north of Hell Member No.: 4,035 Faction: Unicron's Spawn |
You can try just staring at him until his face bursts into flames, but I've noticed many mall Santas are using non-flammable fake beards now.
Therefore, go with the laser trick. But just one laser, aimed straight at his eyes, and wait until they're juuuuuust about to take the picture. Personally, my holiday hate has more to do with working retail and having my entire life schedule forcibly rearranged for the damn seasonal overnight shift. I need a new job. --------------------  |
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Dec 17 2011, 08:51 AM
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#8
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 Look upon my works and despair. Group: Retired Staff Posts: 8,334 Joined: 14-January 02 From: Under your bed Member No.: 351 Faction: Free Agent |
2 words. Elf porn.
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Dec 17 2011, 09:07 AM
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#9
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 Survived the pony outbreak of '83, only to be REINFECTED!  Group: Supporter Posts: 424 Joined: 31-December 07 From: West Michigan. Home of the Dutch Mafia. Member No.: 11,194 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
you can't beat Old Man Christmas. You might as well join him.
so tie some jingle bells to your socks and wear something green. I suggest pine-sol dipped foliage. When it comes to clothing: less is better. but don't skimp on those jingle socks. Next time a crowd gathers 'round the red throne jump out of your store screaming carols and announce yourself as Santa's Helper. Spread cheer. Next year they'll put their display on the other end of the mall. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-ironhide.gif) --------------------  |
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Dec 20 2011, 04:42 AM
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#10
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 I can't do that Dave. Group: Citizen Posts: 4,024 Joined: 27-November 02 From: The land of wind and ghosts. Member No.: 1,759 Faction: Autobot |
Do you have 300 dollars, plausible deniability, and the attention of a tribe of dissaffected youth?
Because there in lies the answer. --------------------  |
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Dec 20 2011, 10:46 AM
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#11
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 It was catastro-, catastro-feeling good Group: Supporter Posts: 4,802 Joined: 12-February 04 From: Santa Destroy, Utah!...bawk bawk. Member No.: 4,199 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
You could always casually approach Santa, gently caress his shoulder and ask if he wants to stuff your stocking. Or shovel some coal or some other innuendo.
-------------------- Reclaim the suffix.  |
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Dec 23 2011, 08:23 AM
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#12
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You know it's true Group: Forum Moderator Posts: 9,382 Joined: 27-January 02 From: Quebec City, PQ, Canada Member No.: 533 Faction: RIBFIR |
Just two more days. Two more days until the fat man leaves.
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Dec 23 2011, 10:22 AM
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 More than a little ridiculous! Group: Supporter Posts: 6,734 Joined: 29-November 08 Member No.: 12,138 Faction: Cannonball's Pirate Crew |
But don't you guys have Boxing day too? So 3 days?
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Dec 23 2011, 01:06 PM
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#14
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 ALUCARD ALUCARD ALUCARD Group: Citizen Posts: 5,796 Joined: 29-March 03 From: Dragon Mountain Member No.: 2,594 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
Boxing Day is our Black Friday. Religion has no place in capitolism.
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Dec 23 2011, 02:09 PM
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#15
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 I didn't get to mace a single bear last summer :( Group: Protoform Posts: 524 Joined: 15-May 06 From: a cardboard box Member No.: 8,282 Faction: Free Agent |
QUOTE(Corgsopal @ Dec 20 2011, 10:46 AM)  You could always casually approach Santa, gently caress his shoulder and ask if he wants to stuff your stocking. Or shovel some coal or some other innuendo. This but I would add a wedding dress and 80s makeup --------------------  no matter how badly you want to, you will never kill the dog |
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Dec 23 2011, 02:30 PM
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#16
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Tyrants and cowards, for metal you will kneel Group: Citizen Posts: 13,741 Joined: 25-January 04 From: South of Heaven, north of Hell Member No.: 4,035 Faction: Unicron's Spawn |
And stuff your undergarments like David Bowie.
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Dec 23 2011, 11:35 PM
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#17
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I didn't get to mace a single bear last summer :( Group: Protoform Posts: 524 Joined: 15-May 06 From: a cardboard box Member No.: 8,282 Faction: Free Agent |
you could invite members of the Westborough Baptist Church up to picket him and call him Satan Claus
-------------------- no matter how badly you want to, you will never kill the dog |
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Dec 24 2011, 02:01 PM
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#18
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D-69 Even on Krypton Group: Citizen Posts: 19,846 Joined: 17-January 03 From: Ontario Canada Member No.: 1,958 Faction: Decepticon |
and risk them forgetting how to get back... no evil next door santa is worth that risk
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Dec 24 2011, 05:38 PM
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#19
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You know it's true Group: Forum Moderator Posts: 9,382 Joined: 27-January 02 From: Quebec City, PQ, Canada Member No.: 533 Faction: RIBFIR |
IT'S OVER!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!
And Scaleblade's analysis of Boxing Day is correct. But nowadays it's more like Boxing WEEK. -------------------- |
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Dec 24 2011, 09:34 PM
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#20
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You know it's true Group: Forum Moderator Posts: 9,382 Joined: 27-January 02 From: Quebec City, PQ, Canada Member No.: 533 Faction: RIBFIR |
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