 "The Best Defence..." First four pages!, My next comic... |
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 May 16 2007, 07:54 PM
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#1
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 A tux, and shows no mercy. Group: Retired Staff Posts: 3,913 Joined: 2-May 04 From: Wales, UK Member No.: 4,484 Faction: Lesbian Ninja  |
Hey everyone!
Okay, here's the first four pages of my next comic project, "The Best Defence...". Set a few years after "Courage Under Fire", "Crisis Of Conscience", and "Out Of Time", this comic is a little more stand-alone. Many thanks to SolFire for letting me use his fancharacter, and to -VP- for the use of Sentinus (who's arm features non-prominently in panel 4. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) ). Also, mad props to Drivaaar for the use of Quartz. Sterling dude, I'm sure none of this would be possible without him. This time around, everything on these 4 pages is by me. Pencils, inks, colours, lock stock and barrel. Expect the final 4 pages of part one to be posted in the coming months, as and when I finish 'em. (IMG:http://www.ninjapea.co.uk/comic/thebestdefence/defence01.jpg) (IMG:http://www.ninjapea.co.uk/comic/thebestdefence/defence02.jpg) (IMG:http://www.ninjapea.co.uk/comic/thebestdefence/defence03.jpg) (IMG:http://www.ninjapea.co.uk/comic/thebestdefence/defence04.jpg) TO BE CONTINUED... Comments and critiques more than welcome! |
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May 16 2007, 08:07 PM
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#2
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 Shake Group: Citizen Posts: 1,189 Joined: 2-March 04 From: Canada Member No.: 4,343 Faction: Autobot |
....I'M SO EXCITED!!!!.....Although Magnus was really quick to blame Sol.
-------------------- MMMmmmm....strippers and fish sticks
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May 16 2007, 08:11 PM
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#3
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A tux, and shows no mercy. Group: Retired Staff Posts: 3,913 Joined: 2-May 04 From: Wales, UK Member No.: 4,484 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
Magnus must come from the Nightbeat school of blame aportion.
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May 16 2007, 08:29 PM
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#4
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Group: Citizen Posts: 3,729 Joined: 13-August 04 From: A galaxy far, far away! Member No.: 4,921 Faction: Autobot |
Excuse me while I jump around with glee.
*jump, jump, jump* Did I do it? Or didn't I? Will I meet Sentinus? Kup? Rodimus? Stay tuned....I know I will! EXPLOSIVE THORN!!!!! BOOM! Ummm, really nice job Kris. I can't believe how well you translated Sol's bio into the story. What with the whole Ultra Magnus sending him on assignment. Someone's getting a big ole chrimmus gift this year! On a strickly art side: Everything is very well done. Colors and atmosphere are great! They emphasize but not detract from the story. The only, only, thing that catches my eye is the green spotlights; and that's only in the last 2 big panels. Seems like they're missing light sources. I mean, they fade and all, but the actual light source seems to be missing. Maybe add in some yellow around the base? Love you, love your hair, hope you win! *pageant wave* This post has been edited by SolFire: May 16 2007, 10:53 PM |
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May 16 2007, 09:44 PM
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#5
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 Every time it takes my knees out Group: Forum Moderator Posts: 7,555 Joined: 16-September 02 From: Rentz, Ga Member No.: 1,491 Faction: RIBFIR |
Am I the only one to notice Solfire's MTMTA bio on that screen on page 3?
e Man, I am so excited to see how this turns out. I fel some really big twist coming. In 4 pages you set up a lot for the rest of the story.Very well done. The art is fantastic as always. I can't wait to see a fully drawn Sentinus coming from you. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) --------------------  |
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May 16 2007, 09:46 PM
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#6
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Group: Citizen Posts: 3,729 Joined: 13-August 04 From: A galaxy far, far away! Member No.: 4,921 Faction: Autobot |
QUOTE(-VP- @ May 16 2007, 09:44 PM) [snapback]615254[/snapback] Am I the only one to notice Solfire's MTMTA bio on that screen on page 3? HOLEE jive!!! Big...BIG ole crimmus pressie! |
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May 16 2007, 09:57 PM
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#7
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 You cannot resist the cuteness Group: Citizen Posts: 1,658 Joined: 14-April 05 Member No.: 6,408 |
This is just so cool. I love the use of the profile pic on the one screen. Your work looks great like always and the story is awesome.
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May 16 2007, 10:13 PM
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#8
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 *squee* Group: Retired Staff Posts: 9,632 Joined: 22-June 04 From: St. Louis, give or take Member No.: 4,689 Faction: Autobot |
I love Kup. Seriously. In just a few panels, you create a father figure for Rodimus, one who can still call him "lad" even though his name ends in Prime now and one whose advice is firm and serious yet gently delivered. I may not know the first thing about how to critique the art side of things (about which I'll just say WOW PRETTY), but I like to think that I know good characterization when I see it, and I see it here. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)
Oh, and "KUH-DUNG!" is the best sound effect in a long time. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) --------------------  More fanfic at Offscreen Fics - random archived bits of Transformers fic, with a side of Doctor Who Sig and avatar art by Shum |
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May 16 2007, 10:45 PM
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#9
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 Group: Citizen Posts: 302 Joined: 22-February 05 Member No.: 6,072 |
Sweet I have always had a soft spot for your work Drivaaar! I can't wait for more!
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May 16 2007, 10:49 PM
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#10
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 Hawksaur  Group: Supporter Posts: 7,946 Joined: 10-December 04 Member No.: 5,603 |
You spin some mean words.
Rock on. --------------------  |
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May 16 2007, 11:18 PM
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#11
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 Wha? Group: Citizen Posts: 4,090 Joined: 31-March 03 From: Texas, ya Yank! Member No.: 2,620 Faction: Predacon |
Have I mentioned how much I love your work? It reminds me so much of the old Marvel stuff.
You've come a long way for doing this all yerself, my friend. -------------------- I had a better signature... then it ran away.
MLP card trade list. |
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May 16 2007, 11:25 PM
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#12
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 Whaaat? Evil? Of course not... Group: Citizen Posts: 599 Joined: 3-December 03 From: Lair full of bones Member No.: 3,992 Faction: Decepticon |
Lovely written work so far, Drivaar!
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May 17 2007, 12:08 AM
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#13
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 "One down, two to go." Group: Citizen Posts: 7,960 Joined: 6-May 03 From: New York Member No.: 2,807 Faction: Free Agent |
QUOTE(MiLkShAkE @ May 16 2007, 09:07 PM) [snapback]615124[/snapback] ....I'M SO EXCITED!!!!.....Although Magnus was really quick to blame Sol. it's because he doesn't want to deal with it now. --------------------   |
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May 17 2007, 01:13 AM
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#14
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 Eschew Obfuscation Group: Citizen Posts: 1,536 Joined: 21-May 03 Member No.: 2,869 Faction: Decepticon |
Damn yo! I love the story already! You always seem to have a way to keep me gripped and wanting for more!
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May 17 2007, 02:01 AM
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#15
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A tux, and shows no mercy. Group: Retired Staff Posts: 3,913 Joined: 2-May 04 From: Wales, UK Member No.: 4,484 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
Cheers guys! You're enthusiasm keeps me wanting to make 'em! What makes it better is that you all seem to appreciate the story and the characters as well as the effort I put in to the art, and that means more to me than anything... comments like Newsy's just utterly psyche me, especially when I think of stuff like how Sentinus and Kup interact later, Quartz and Magnus having a domestic... Just makes me want to finish it quicker!
Oh and Winston, I hope I do Sentinus justice - he will be BURYING that axe in someone. I guarantee it. Sol, glad you like SolFire's treatment - I try to stick fairly close to the bio's (hence the homage, heheh! Also I can't beleive no-one spotted Nightbeat reading the Allspark Forums in Crisis...) so that means a lot. If anyone's interested, you know I hear the characters voices in my head? Well, the canon guys you already know (especially Kup, SO distinctive) but if you're wondering who the fan characters are going to sound like... Quartz sounds like me. Cos he is me, pretty much. SolFire... well, think Jeff Bridges in Tron.... "Because man!!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSp4DFPaHPE Sentinus... I haven't gotten to any dialogue of his yet (his day comes in part two), but right now, I'm hearing a Kris Kristofferson-esque vibe... EEeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm all psyched now. I've been so creatively bummed out lately, you've all got me jazzed up again! |
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May 17 2007, 02:15 AM
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#16
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 But can I weaponize it? That's the important thing. Group: Supporter Posts: 17,239 Joined: 3-May 05 From: In my pants! Member No.: 6,473 Faction: Cannonball's Pirate Crew |
Really sweet work, dude. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)
Love the voice choices. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) Gotta say you're being an inspiration to me, in fiddling with my own comic ideas. I haven't had any come to fruition yet, but you always get the juices a-churnin'. =) -------------------- Want to buy or draw for a Kreon Springer, PM if interested.  I draw things, and you can buy them! deviantART | Tegaki |
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May 17 2007, 02:38 AM
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#17
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"One down, two to go." Group: Citizen Posts: 7,960 Joined: 6-May 03 From: New York Member No.: 2,807 Faction: Free Agent |
After taking a second glance I see some crits I need to point out. I didn't realize that Magnus and Red Alert had Sol on a med lab until I saw the last two panels. The way I can see to solve this problem is to add a narration bubble saying "AND SO" or "LATER ON". I feel the white fragments on on the group shot looks to blurry. I feel it's best to not bother with the blur or not go as blurry.
Also this is more a matter of opinion since you come off very stylize in your approach. I'm not happy with Magnus's proportions... they keep bouncing from panel to panel. I see a few suffer from the same problem, but more on Magnus then on anyone else. For example.. his chest is so thick on page 2 only to see it does not stick out as much on page 3. The shoulder kibble looks smaller on his close up along with a thinner neck. Lastly he looks to have a giraffe neck in the second to last panel of page 3. I suffer from these same problems which is why I can identify with them. Other then that awesome job. Oh I forgot.. the colors on Rodimus are EXTREMLY OFF!!! (IMG:http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m169/shumworld/preview0r.jpg) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) This post has been edited by Headless Lieger: May 17 2007, 02:40 AM -------------------- |
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May 17 2007, 03:26 AM
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#18
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*squee* Group: Retired Staff Posts: 9,632 Joined: 22-June 04 From: St. Louis, give or take Member No.: 4,689 Faction: Autobot |
QUOTE(Drivaaar @ May 17 2007, 02:01 AM) [snapback]615499[/snapback] Quartz and Magnus having a domestic Who ever could have seen that coming? I mean, they always get along so fantastically well... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-arcee.gif) QUOTE Oh and Winston, I hope I do Sentinus justice - he will be BURYING that axe in someone. I guarantee it. WOO! And hey - maybe seeing that will get me off my butt and get me to finish the Sentinus piece I've been working on... QUOTE Also I can't beleive no-one spotted Nightbeat reading the Allspark Forums in Crisis What? Where? *goes and looks* Oh SWEET. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) QUOTE SolFire... well, think Jeff Bridges in Tron.... "Because man!!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSp4DFPaHPE AHAHAHAHA! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) That's just great. -------------------- More fanfic at Offscreen Fics - random archived bits of Transformers fic, with a side of Doctor Who Sig and avatar art by Shum |
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May 17 2007, 03:45 AM
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#19
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A tux, and shows no mercy. Group: Retired Staff Posts: 3,913 Joined: 2-May 04 From: Wales, UK Member No.: 4,484 Faction: Lesbian Ninja |
QUOTE(Headless Lieger @ May 17 2007, 08:38 AM) [snapback]615508[/snapback] After taking a second glance I see some crits I need to point out. I didn't realize that Magnus and Red Alert had Sol on a med lab until I saw the last two panels. The way I can see to solve this problem is to add a narration bubble saying "AND SO" or "LATER ON". Actually, yeah, I'd thought of that. I figured that the scenery change was significant enough to warrant people would realise that they'd brought Sol aboard. Also, it's not an important story point that he's in a med lab - all that matters is that he's on the shuttle, which is obvious. That's my storytelling maxim - if it's not needed, bin it. At 16 pages, I've no space for frivolity, so everything, and I do mean everything in these 4 pages is crucial to the following 12. Also, I'm wary of using "SOON.." or "LATER..." too often... but I see your point. When I've got the rest of the issue done, I'll be in a better palce to assess it. QUOTE I feel the white fragments on on the group shot looks to blurry. I feel it's best to not bother with the blur or not go as blurry. They're not actually blurred, I think it's just the outer glow that I've added. Again, it's not too important a detail. Magnus mentions a debris field, you see the hologram and put 1+1 together... I can live with it. By the way, you can't read the text assigned to each fragment as it's too small, but they all read "Drivaaar01". (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) QUOTE Also this is more a matter of opinion since you come off very stylize in your approach. I'm not happy with Magnus's proportions... they keep bouncing from panel to panel. I see a few suffer from the same problem, but more on Magnus then on anyone else. For example.. his chest is so thick on page 2 only to see it does not stick out as much on page 3. The shoulder kibble looks smaller on his close up along with a thinner neck. Lastly he looks to have a giraffe neck in the second to last panel of page 3. It's a deliberate homage to Marvel's UK G1 comics. Actually, that's bulljive - it's me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) I've a VERY slapdash approach to my art - these are the tightest things I've ever drawn, and I have a HELL of a time keeping consistent models. I'm just lazy getting reference, and well... I dunno, I just get too excited, and want to rush it. I guess I feel that as long as the character is recognisable, and evokes the right emotion, I'm happy with that. On the flip side, there's a definite improvement in my proportions approach. Go back and read "Courage"... the art makes me WINCE now... QUOTE I suffer from these same problems which is why I can identify with them. Other then that awesome job. I think your proportions are fine. Oh you mean, your drawings.... well, your sequentials you posted a while back looked amazing in my opinion, much slicker and cleaner than my stuff. Post more of that, dammit! QUOTE Oh I forgot.. the colors on Rodimus are EXTREMLY OFF!!! (IMG:http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m169/shumworld/preview0r.jpg) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) I hate you Rob. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif) |
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May 17 2007, 04:34 AM
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#20
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 DEAL WITH IT Group: Citizen Posts: 2,510 Joined: 3-February 05 Member No.: 5,930 Faction: Decepticon |
Woo, great stuff! Big bada boom! Love that shot of Solfire floating through space. Somthing keeps bugging me about Rodimus though.. he seems too.. small? Seems to be about the same size as Kup.
--------------------  QUOTE("X-BoB58") I'm gonna go off on a limb and say Shipwreck is the most dangerous man on the GIJoe team, what with the constant-threat to the sacred and holy institution of red-blooded American marriage he and his kind represent. |
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