The continuing adventures of MLP, Fic thread, because it was asked for. Rating Options

[Blueshift]

I'm more than happy to help! It is rare for collections of small fics rather than whole fics be put on EqD, but I don't want to discourage you! The importance is writing and writing more!

I have made a new story. It is... surely a thing!

Bloomberg's Last Hurrah

http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/Blo...urrah-256381719

A... comedy shipping grimdark? Also very short.

Caramel discovers who his rival in love is for Applejack's affections - the tree Bloomberg! How far will he go to get his revenge? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-wildride.gif)

[PhantomFox]

Okay, my next project is now complete, and I'd like to share it for comments, critique, and proofreading.

My Faithful Student
A tale wherein Twilight Sparkle receives an invite from the Princess to compete in a magic competition, and goes all out to try and prepare for it. However, when preparation turns into obsession, will she push her friends too far away in order to win it?

[Fero McPigletron]

I'm more than happy to help! It is rare for collections of small fics rather than whole fics be put on EqD, but I don't want to discourage you! The importance is writing and writing more!

I'm book ending the trilogy with Celestia in omniscient mode. Something like the Simpson's Treehouse of Horror. Did you read Fluttershy's Lesson yet? Any comments?

I have made a new story. It is... surely a thing!

Bloomberg's Last Hurrah

http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/Blo...urrah-256381719

A... comedy shipping grimdark? Also very short.

Caramel discovers who his rival in love is for Applejack's affections - the tree Bloomberg! How far will he go to get his revenge? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-wildride.gif)

Ye GODS! What the HELL what that?!?! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-fire.gif) I did NOT expect that kind of story, LMAO!
Do we post spoiler tags when discussing the fanfics here?

I have no idea who Caramel is. Is he your original character or an adopted character like Derpy and Olivia and DJ Pon-3? Is Caramel Apple his full name? Eeew if he's a relative in the Apple Family.

On the story, yes, Evil Dead reference! But that was tree rape. Ew ew ew on Applejack's suggestion that someone else would use Bloomberg that way when they ship him out.

I was a little freaked out at the 'murder' of Bloomberg. What a way to use the body.

The branch... *groan*! LMAO at the ending!

Well, that was a hilarious and squeam-ishy story, LOL! Interesting read but yikes on the topic, LMAO! Yes, I can't stop grinning (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif)

I breezed through the Mane-Cast-Off and ye GODS that was freaky! I skipped reading the summary so I was in for a surprise! First it seemed ok... Twi, Rarity (poor Sweetie Belle, LOL!), Rainbow Dash (take THAT, haha!), Fluttershy's was the best. Then the freak out happens with Applejack!!! Pony sausage! That was horrible! The impact of Pinkie losing her head wasn't the same but Applejack's was terrifying! At least to me. Gah! The ending explains it all but Applejack's is the one that bothers me, LOL! Clever that you used Spike's return to lead to the ending.

BTW, I'm pretty sure Zecora said Poison Joke instead of Poison Oak.

Well, they're freaky but thanks for the laughs (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif)

I'll read Phantom Fox's fic next time.

[Blueshift]

Oops you're right about poison joke (looks shifty)


Caramel is the pony that works on the farm, and later turns up in Appleoosa as a female pony :|

http://img.ponibooru.org/images/b7/b79dc6c...9217f7fde1360b9

[Blueshift]

Okay, my next project is now complete, and I'd like to share it for comments, critique, and proofreading.

My Faithful Student
A tale wherein Twilight Sparkle receives an invite from the Princess to compete in a magic competition, and goes all out to try and prepare for it. However, when preparation turns into obsession, will she push her friends too far away in order to win it?

Man how awesome is this. How awesome are you.

[Nutjob R/T]

Imma copypasta this little snippet from the comments of a Luna Sues Tyrantestia fanfic, 'cause I think this is kinda cooler than the fic itself.


(IMG:http://i.imgur.com/rTQdJ.jpg)

You can't handle the truth!!

Filly, we live in a world that has a Sun and a Moon, and those celestia bodies have to be guarded by Princesses. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lyra? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Luna, and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Luna's banishment, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at Pinkie Pie's parties, you want me on that throne, you need me on that throne. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a pony who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very moonlight that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you put on a saddle, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!!

[TheOptimusPrime]

Why is there so little PRINCE BLUEBLOOD fan fiction?

This fandom disappoints me.

There is quite a bit actually, but it tends not to be posted much because most of it is terrible. People get confused and try to write him as a snarling villain. Which is ridiculous.

Well I'm not picky! i'm up for anything since there is so so little!

[Blueshift]

Here are two interesting Blueblood ones that come to mind. I'm having problems with googledocs though, hopefully that will fix itself!

Dear Idiot.
http://thedescendantofkehan.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3gfxjz

Legion of Gloom. All the pony villains team up like in the DC cartoons.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yQ-6ZwI...0/edit?hl=en_US

[Fero McPigletron]

Okay, my next project is now complete, and I'd like to share it for comments, critique, and proofreading.

My Faithful Student
A tale wherein Twilight Sparkle receives an invite from the Princess to compete in a magic competition, and goes all out to try and prepare for it. However, when preparation turns into obsession, will she push her friends too far away in order to win it?

I got it read it. Comic books in Equestria struck me as odd for some reason. Too modern? What kind of comics would they read? I don't think the idea of a superhero exists in the pony-verse but of course there's other kinds of comics.

The tone is pleasant. It's easy reading. Not much excitement though. Not much danger (not even the really slippage. Spike gets planted but he was still alive, haha (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif) ) but I know you're not going for an action story or a twist in the tale type. It's a slice of life-ish, light-hearted story and I get it. It's really easy reading (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)

Characters though, I'm a little disappointed that all HIGHLIGHT to view:
the Elements of Harmony had scene time except Fluttershy. Pinkie was there for laughs (I'm sure lots of people have thought of the coffee idea before but it's always still humorous. She drinks hot sauce though.) Rainbow Dash and Rarity had to be paired up together to work their personality traits against each other. Applejack's contribution was for sense of duty (Big Mac does the books cuz, what was it? He can befuddle the issue with his fancy mathematics in the Applebuck Season episode? LOL!). Fluttershy only pitched in during the Elements callback. Unless I missed a part, she didn't visit Twilight Sparkle? (I don't recall it. Sorry if it's in there and I missed it! Fluttershy must have been too shy and I didn't notice her there in the back, LOL!)

The award winning magic trick... well, there was a passage in the Wishsong of Shannara by Terry Brooks where a tree was in shock because a young sorceress changed its colors from... winter to spring green? Or maybe it was summer green to autumn red. And the tree as a living thing was shocked with the change. I thought Twilight would do a variation of the rabbit in the hat (Angel!) but in a grander scale that would impress the crowd. Cuz, phrased the way she did, it did feel like very complicated magic, haha.

BTW, on the subject of magical competitions, it's a very different take in Terry Pratchett's short story 'The Sea and Little Fishes', if I got that title right.

Oh and YAY Pinkie saves the day (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) My fave of course (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif) Though weeeeird that Celestia would imitate her (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif)


I wouldn't have gotten the Sunny Skies reference if I didn't breeze though that fanfic before (when it was mentioned in one of th pony threads). What could my eye to check it out was a comment by someone saying it would have made a great episode (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) Er, you were the author, right, Phantomfox?

Anyhow, great story! Very pleasant reading (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)

[PhantomFox]

Okay, my next project is now complete, and I'd like to share it for comments, critique, and proofreading.

My Faithful Student
A tale wherein Twilight Sparkle receives an invite from the Princess to compete in a magic competition, and goes all out to try and prepare for it. However, when preparation turns into obsession, will she push her friends too far away in order to win it?

I got it read it. Comic books in Equestria struck me as odd for some reason. Too modern? What kind of comics would they read? I don't think the idea of a superhero exists in the pony-verse but of course there's other kinds of comics.

The tone is pleasant. It's easy reading. Not much excitement though. Not much danger (not even the really slippage. Spike gets planted but he was still alive, haha (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif) ) but I know you're not going for an action story or a twist in the tale type. It's a slice of life-ish, light-hearted story and I get it. It's really easy reading (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)

Characters though, I'm a little disappointed that all HIGHLIGHT to view:
the Elements of Harmony had scene time except Fluttershy. Pinkie was there for laughs (I'm sure lots of people have thought of the coffee idea before but it's always still humorous. She drinks hot sauce though.) Rainbow Dash and Rarity had to be paired up together to work their personality traits against each other. Applejack's contribution was for sense of duty (Big Mac does the books cuz, what was it? He can befuddle the issue with his fancy mathematics in the Applebuck Season episode? LOL!). Fluttershy only pitched in during the Elements callback. Unless I missed a part, she didn't visit Twilight Sparkle? (I don't recall it. Sorry if it's in there and I missed it! Fluttershy must have been too shy and I didn't notice her there in the back, LOL!)

The award winning magic trick... well, there was a passage in the Wishsong of Shannara by Terry Brooks where a tree was in shock because a young sorceress changed its colors from... winter to spring green? Or maybe it was summer green to autumn red. And the tree as a living thing was shocked with the change. I thought Twilight would do a variation of the rabbit in the hat (Angel!) but in a grander scale that would impress the crowd. Cuz, phrased the way she did, it did feel like very complicated magic, haha.

BTW, on the subject of magical competitions, it's a very different take in Terry Pratchett's short story 'The Sea and Little Fishes', if I got that title right.

Oh and YAY Pinkie saves the day (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) My fave of course (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif) Though weeeeird that Celestia would imitate her (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif)


I wouldn't have gotten the Sunny Skies reference if I didn't breeze though that fanfic before (when it was mentioned in one of th pony threads). What could my eye to check it out was a comment by someone saying it would have made a great episode (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif) Er, you were the author, right, Phantomfox?

Anyhow, great story! Very pleasant reading (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)

Thank you for your imput! Although the reason I didn't include Fluttershy that much is that she seems too passive to be effective, and I didn't want to shoehorn her in just for completeness sake.

[Fero McPigletron]

Hehehe, maybe she could have wandered in, whispered softly to Twilight but Twi was so preoccupied that she didn't notice. Or link it to Angel Bunny's appearance. But I get that the story's considered done already. It's fine as it is (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-hotrod.gif)

[Blueshift]

Hurrah I have finished another tale! Let me know what you guys think, feedback is really important to me!

School Reunion

Twenty-five years later, Apple Bloom is an adult pony. She's married with two lovely foals, and is the respected mayor of Ponyville. However she never got past the heartbreak she felt when her two best friends moved away all those years ago.

All this is about to change though. Tonight is the first Ponyville school reunion and Apple Bloom is determined to finally put the past to rest and have the best night ever. What could possibly go wrong?

Cutie Mark Crusader School Reunion go!


Part 1 - http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/Sch...art-1-215930561
Part 2 - http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/Sch...art-2-215979451
Part 3 - http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/Sch...art-3-257835541

This post has been edited by Blueshift: Sep 11 2011, 11:38 AM

[Blueshift]

Bonus 400 word super short story!

The Secret of Celestia

http://blueshift2k5.deviantart.com/art/The...estia-257942294

What is the mysterious canon-shattering secret of Princess Celestia?

Based on a request to write "A massive, canon-destroying revelation that's presented as fact."

This post has been edited by Blueshift: Sep 11 2011, 06:16 PM

[Fero McPigletron]

LMAO, I finished reading School Reunion yesterday but all the seriousness and ache from reading that 3 parter is wiped out with that hilarious Secret of Celestia! That was a fun fic (IMG:style_emoticons/default/icon-waspy.gif)

HIGHLIGHT to view:
Rarity is my magical clone and we all love our clones. I'm also Celestia so I'm in control all this time. Owlicious (spelling)! BTW, if Rarity is Celestia's clone, what would that make Sweetie Belle?

On the School Reunion, yeah it was painful reading, with all the inner distress and angst, especially centered on the bullying and confronting old enemies. The backstory with the other villains are puzzling because I don't know if other fanfictions are being referenced. I really liked the mythological feel of...

HIGHLIGHT to view:
... Apple Bloom running non stop and creating a legend around her. I figure all the places she visited before referenced some other stories. Felt like Narnia actually. Is the whole battle stuff, deaths of other and all that, done in another fic? Applejack was razzed to the ground with no chance to fight but if there is another fic, I'd like to know how Pinkie and Fluttershy fared.

Sweetie Belle, aaaaw, you ruined her, made her sad and drab. Scootaloo did better but she's marrying the bully? I can just imagine her acting like Dash.

The Dinky bit was weird because it didn't feel like Apple Bloom would play a prank like that. Scootaloo, yes, but not Bloom. Dinky defending Bloom (leave her alone) seemed strange but the 'let me teach you about what friendship really means' is straight to the heart. Ouch! Sweetie Belle melting into the crowd and leaving Bloom too.


I can see that the three parter is a character study but the twist almost feels like it could have been made much shorter than it is. But that would mean cutting out the extra character bits like the kids, the blue pony (why injured?), Dinky (who in the world? is that a reference to Ditzy Doo and all those mother and child pics?), the senile teacher, the estrangement etc. Trimming the fat would have only left the meeting of Sweetie Belle (how could you do that to her?) and Scootalo (ugh! ended up like that?) and I don't know how effective the angst could have been without the others.

I'm glad I didn't read the description in the last chapter link. I get the HIGHLIGHT to view:
technique and reading about it would have given it away. Anyway, there are other points but I can't recall them anymore. Great emotional story, though I focused on the bullying part.

[Blueshift]

Hi, thanks for the feedback!

I wasn't referencing other fics, no. I believe in keeping everything self-contained and ensuring the reader has all the information they need right there (and that includes knowing who the characters are). I do enjoy worldbuilding though, and throwing out references to unseen events, just as happens in everyday life.

It was originally going to be a much shorter story, but seemed to increase naturally in length.

Also yeah, Dinky is Derpy's 'fanon' daughter

[Fero McPigletron]

Yeah, the 'Reunion' as a whole felt like it could have been done as a shorter story but that'd mean removing some other bits. It wouldn't have affected the ending tho.

Is there a list of super short pics on the vein of the Secret of Celestia somewhere?

Also, I don't suppose I could ask for feedback on my second story Fluttershy's Lesson? It's longer than Twilight's Plan but still pretty short.

[Blueshift]

Is there a list of super short pics on the vein of the Secret of Celestia somewhere?

Ta da!

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/stor...-and-other.html

Sorry I missed that Fluttershy fic! I will have a read though it may need to be after the weekend, I am super busy atm D: PM me if I forget!

[Fero McPigletron]

ll right, I'll remind you after the weekend, haha.

Gave those fics a quick run through.

Ye GODs!

I bow at your powers of the pun! 'Good year' alone had me rolling. The painting sex! Dead Rainbow Lobster! Multiple Trixies were a given but the rest are gold! Weeeeird fool's gold type of comedy. LMAO! I honestly wasn't expecting the Scootaloo pun but I just wasn't expecting it, LOL!

[Nutjob R/T]

... I just read the Ditzy Doo section of Pony Psychology, and I believe that the 'Long Kiss Goodnight' style interpretation of Ditzy/Dinky's origins are now permanently part of my personal canon.

[Blueshift]

I'm book ending the trilogy with Celestia in omniscient mode. Something like the Simpson's Treehouse of Horror. Did you read Fluttershy's Lesson yet? Any comments?

I actually rather liked that. You had a story idea and you followed it through, I applaud you!

However, I don't quite think Fluttershy sounds in character. You give her some quite lengthy, florid and verbose speeches which I found really hard to imagine in her voice, it took me out of the story somewhat. Also at the start Apple Bloom is quite chilled out about the dead chicken, and then she's the one who is upset about it, which seems a little odd, maybe give the later line to Sweetie Belle?